The Greatest Gift You Give Another is Your Attention

It does not take money to give someone your time, your attention, your help, or kindness.  First, you have to want to give your attention to another to do any of these.  Are you or the person you are speaking with constantly thinking about what you are going to say next instead of truly listening to the other person?  Are you or the other person thinking you are bored with the conversation because it does not interest you or further your cause so you have to cut them off and leave, you have other things to do that need your attention NOW? Then you know you are not interested in giving your attention to them, or the other is not interested in you. This is normal and to be expected in daily encounters with people you meet in life, there is not enough time to know everyone intimately, but it is NOT acceptable when you truly love someone.

If you want to have a personal loving connection that can last a lifetime you have to take time to listen with care to know what interest another, not just you, it takes time, it takes hours, it takes years of giving your attention to the other, to listen to his/her point of view to know him or her before you make snap judgments that can be oh so wrong. In our marriage, I have done this at times and he has done this too because we were in a hurry or simply wanted to be right so we would not listen to the other. When you do listen with undivided attention and no preconceived ideas, you meet someone in the middle to have a deeply connected relationship.

The amount of time this takes is best reserved for ONE significant other and your own children first.  There is not enough time in anyone's life for this close connection to be made with everyone in the world you meet and work with. If you try to take care of everyone else, someone close to you will suffer. Focus on you, your mate, your own children, and close family members that support you, that is more than enough to get right. We cannot save the world and it is not our responsibility to do so.

I heard a one-liner from a teacher I admire, "I never go anywhere I'm not invited."  When invited you know someone wants to give you their attention and hear your opinion. My opinion and your opinion is not welcomed or needed everywhere so it is best to hold our tongue until invited to speak. You are the winner of your decisions, choose positive, kind, words and actions.

If you do choose to give someone your undivided attention, that is a great gift; and if someone chooses to give you their undivided attention without any expectation but to listen to you, that is a true friend. Making time for one another to be together and talk is a great gift. The joy of sharing these connected relationships can bring a lifetime of laughter and good memories that last forever. Thankful to have a few of these in my life now. Pay attention to enjoy a more fulfilling life! If you want a close friend, pay attention.  If you want a relationship to last forever pay very close attention to hear the words of their heart and be thankful for the people in your life that love you.

"Deeds not words," who shows up for you every time you are down? That is a true friend. That is love.