Here's How You Know What a "True" Friend Looks Like

So many people I meet tell me about their friends and when I hear the bad things these "Friends" say and do to them I think this person does not know the definition of friend. Some adult children say they are best friends with parents that are not their friend.  How do you know the difference?

When you are friends with a "true" friend:

1) You can tell them bad news and they will not tell you why you are so stupid it happened to you.  Or ask you what's wrong with you? Or why do you get into these situations? When will you grow up? Why can't you do better? Or they may launch into how something worse happened to them once and derail the entire conversation.

You can actually tell a "true" friend bad news and they will listen.

2) You can tell them good news and they will help you celebrate instead of telling you something good that happened to them years ago or worse tell you, they know another person who did way better than you.  Go away from that person, this is not your friend. Family members can be like this. When family is like this you don't want to share your good accomplishments, you may be afraid to tell them because you know they may feel bad about themselves when they compare themselves to your success, or find a way to belittle your accomplishment.  This is not a healthy environment, stay away.

You actually cannot wait to tell your "true" friend because that friend will suggest a celebration party even if it is only the two of you and then actually celebrate with a date on the calendar!

Pick true friends that celebrate your discoveries, your growth, your successes, your dreams.  You do not want to be around people that are sitting in misery and can only be with you if they can bring you down to their level of "no responsibility" to make their lives better.  Victim personality will settle for a life they claim they did not choose but reality is they choose that life every day they don't make a plan to change it. Don't fall for the lie "they can't change their life," yes they can. But remember it is NOT your responsibility to change it for them!  You can't! You can only change YOUR life and friends. Choose new ones now you know the basic truths of what a true friend is, move away from negative ninnies even if you are related to them.

Get on with your good self and living the good life, even if you have to go it alone for a while. Tie a knot and hold on, never give up! You will find true friends, they are NOT a dime a dozen. To find one you first have to know how to define what a true friend is.

You are deserving of a wonderful group of people to discover new things with, discuss new ideas with and try to make life better for you. In turn you will be a part of them making their life better. If your family, your parent(s) cannot support your efforts to be better and do more, love them as you move on without their approval.

Thankful to have found a handful of these true friends that I love, thankful to have married my BFF.  Thankful to have three wonderful friends in our "adult children" and now with their fantastic mates. Wow, I have more than I ever dreamed I could. Life is good. You can make your life good too. 😉

Every successful person knows this, it is not a secret. Surround yourself with positive supportive friends. Now that you know one part of the success formula, get on with your dream.

The Campfire Turkey

When we moved into our new country house with acreage around and wildlife, the older children would be in school and leave me and the baby to spend our days playing. The little guy liked to play alone with trucks and matchbox cars. He had 300 matchbox cars and yes he played with all of them. We took walks outside every day like I did with all the children when they were growing up.

There were days when I would take his trucks and him out to a dirt pile just north of the house and watch him out the window as I cooked lunch. On one glance out the widow I was horrified to see a huge turkey, as big as three year old Steven, taking a dirt bath in the yard about 15 feet behind him. I had seen turkeys here but never thought about whether or not they would hurt you. I never approached one and now my baby was within 15 feet of him taking turkey time for a long dirt bath.

I was so scared I thought if I run out there it could spook the turkey and cause him to fly at the baby and I did not want the turkey to hurt him, I did not know what that turkey might do, I wanted to protect my little one. A thought to call my husband… I knew my husband was raised on this farm and would know better how to approach this situation. My husband advised me to wait and not go out there or yell, but sit still. He said that turkey will not hurt Steven, and you don’t want to scare Steven or teach him to be afraid by my reaction. So I waited nervously.

The screened window allowed me to listen and wait. I was so far away had the turkey tried to go after him I could not have gotten out there fast enough to stop him. I dare not go around the house or downstairs and take my eyes off then both. His father was right once again as many times before when I turned to him for advice about the kids in areas I had not a "calm" idea.

The turkey was spreading his tail feathers and flapping his wings, I thought for sure if Steven got scared when he heard this he would cry out and I could call to him out the window that “Mommy was coming!” and that would help calm him until I could run out o him.

The turkey bathed in the dust for about 20 minutes, dust was everywhere. Steven did not turn around at all, he never saw the turkey. The turkey completed his dirt bath and walked a few steps towards the baby, watched him a minute or so and calmly walked into the woods. No harm intended or done.

Now three decades later there is a campfire where the turkey bathed that day long ago and that little guy is all grown up. He has gone to school, in the military and traveled the world and some nights when he is home with us he chops wood and sleeps out by the fire all night. Now when I see turkeys meander near him while he sleeps I don’t panic anymore. I know the turkey is curious and our son is a man as comfortable in the woods in nature as I was as a teenager.

When things were unhappy at home for me I use to take blankets, a pillow and a Bible and drive out of town as far as I could, many times crying, and then I would pick a place to stop. Go into a cow pasture or a wooded field, build a fire, read a Bible and sleep there all night. I would stare into the fire and think about my life, where I was going, where I had been, and what to do next, But for that night, I was just being happy to be alive, safe alone in the woods, and at peace for a while. I would ask God to help me find my life, he did not answer but I waited, I had no choice.

In time I did see the next move and then I moved to the next chapter of my existence. Maybe this is why I love real fires whether in a fireplace on a snowy winter day, or outside in the woods, I get lost watching the flames. Thankful for my life now and this wonderful son, Steven. He was an answer to one of my prayers and I did not know it then as a teen but I do now.

Happy Birthday Steven, so glad you are ours.

Love always, Mom & Dad