What Are Your Favorite Moments in 2021?

1) Luckily bumping into an artist that is excited to illustrate my book

2)      Relaxing at a wine orchard and meeting a web designer to design my new website

3)      Deciding to start a flag business and getting set up with a computer router (Thanks to my son and   husband) so I can create many

4)      Happy to discover family members that survived Covid

5)      Having all our children visit for a long time as they transfer to other states, priceless!

2021 has been a good year and 2022 can only get better.

Listened to the audio book “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau with the study. Thoreau was a great man his wisdom is as true today as ever.

 

Eleven Lovely Things

The refreshing feeling of an ice bath

 

The first aroma of a fire in the cool air of Autumn

 

Watching Maple tree wing seeds whirl round and round to the ground

 

Walking on a nature trail enjoying colorful leaves

 

Seeing the vibrant orange, blue, and yellow sunrises and sunsets

 

Dreaming of seeing loved ones at the holidays

 

Seeing turkeys, pheasants, deer, groundhogs, eagles, and more…

 

Standing on the edge of a lake breathing deep with fresh clear air

 

The taste of home-made pumpkin soup

 

Family fun picking apples

 

Enjoying a cup of coffee and a cider doughnut

 

*Beautiful life, good times, easy living, life is good.

 

                                           Thank you, November, 2021 

Every Question You Have Has An Answer

Where you go to get the answer depends on who thinks for you.

Once you think for yourself regardless of outside influences, you will research many sources and take notes to see the bigger picture. Do you take the time to listen and read multiple sources even if you think you disagree at first glance?  Do you accept the easy answer so you can tuck that question away and get back to your regular programming?

When anyone disagrees with you, do you want to MAKE them do as you dictate, or do you embrace diversity and independent thinking? Your answer to this question reveals your hunger for power over everyone.

My life has many questions, and I do not have the time to research all my questions, so I focus on the things that concern me personally. When a question affects me deeply, I examine closer until I get to the bottom of my confusion. I find this rarely involves anyone's opinion; the research will influence my decision. To live with such continual negativity under the surface of my conscious mind of anger is emotionally exhausting.  This inability to admit "I could be wrong" creates a hostile attitude towards opposing opinions. I used to be afraid to admit I was wrong, not so much anymore. I know better. I do not want to be the fool in the room that thinks "I know it all."

"Ignorance is NOT bliss!" Ignorance is a pandora's box of weapons to be deceptively used against the unaware when specific forces of power are in play.

To make the questions dissipate, if I go to the regular programming, the familiar, I don't have to take action. Most people placate these confused feelings with any defense, such as arguing, silent obedience, exercise, food, alcohol, drugs, violence, spending money, etc.  Any of these are more accessible than seeking an answer that may require me to change.

And if I have academic or material wealth, I may tell myself "I" don't need to change. THE uneducated  do!"  My academic degrees and peers with wealth agree I'm right! I'll MAKE EVERYONE ELSE CHANGE to suit my answers. After all, it is for their own good. Now I can eliminate any debate to my authoritarian thinking by manipulating monetary influence, forcing "others" to obey me! 

Except... "the others" have questions.

Money and power to influence laws and confuse people with convoluted rhetoric will not work long term for freedom thinking people worldwide, like me. We all have intelligence, and we are free to think. It costs nothing to use the intelligence you are born with.

Individual independent ability to think can only be eroded little by little when we fear speaking up to question anyone. When we give up and give in, we allow others to control our lives. If we disagree inside but do as told outside, we go back to our regular programming.  How to respond positively takes quiet contemplation before action. 

To live free is a responsibility to have all information available to decide the decisions we make. We can take a chance and let others think and answer for us, and we might be OK for a while if we are lucky. However 'My" life is not yours to rule; it is mine.

And, if I choose to investigate any issue myself, it costs you nothing; it costs me, my time. Can I do that? Yes.   

I can honestly tell you some answers I sought took decades for me to find the truth of it, but if we are willing to question and stick to it, the puzzle pieces eventually come together. You will say, "I see the answer now. What took me so long?"  Ignorance of how the world works is a big one.

Sometimes "I" was wrong. I had to change or remain angry for no reason. I found I was programmed not to question authority figures as a child, especially male authority figures. Then, as an adult, I began to read books and experience life. I found that society has programmed me to believe things that are not true. It was not until I stepped away from traditional expectations that I trained myself to be free to think differently. 

I do this through daily personal research of every topic that interests me.

Therefore, for those who prefer knowing the truth that brings clarity of thought to have confidence and peace of mind, we must be brave enough to ask the right questions to clarify the confusion and remain stubborn enough to educate ourselves through research until we have the answers we seek.

I am grateful to now have the patience to listen calmly to others and then research to answer my questions. It will be harder for anyone to lead you down a primrose path that benefits them more than you when you learn to think for yourself. 

It is a beautiful thing to be alive, enjoy your life. Your ability to think is legal.

 

 

 

We Can't UNSEE the Light

When a light is shined in a dark corner of our mind, we can choose to correct or NOT. If we want to update the misunderstanding of a fact we thought we understood but did not, good. If we decide not to investigate further, understanding will go unanswered, and a division is created. Still, we can't "unsee" the flicker of light that made us question that thought, if only for a second. It nags.

I have revisited the questions in my mind many times until I decided to look closer and remove my confusing thoughts one thought at a time. If questions involve someone I love, we talk until we resolve our differences. What I learned; confusion in our minds causes stagnation, and we will not move, physically or mentally, until we see a clear path. We wisely decide NOT to move until we are ready to make a move in the right direction.

Exploring the corners of my mind is the most frightening voyage I ever began, for there, I found my true self, and there I found fears I did not know I had. To rid myself of these fears, I had to change. I was scared, at first, I did not want to change. The unfamiliar scared me. I was ashamed to let anyone know I was not perfect. I had to appear in control of myself even when I knew inside I was faking control of my life. I wanted to change without others knowing my struggles. I did not want to let another person see my weaknesses. My appearance of perfection was more important. I did not want to let another person help me. Anyway, another person may help me by giving advice, but only I could CHANGE myself. The first step is to shine a light to see the need to change, the second step wanting to change. Life experiences will shine a light whether we like it or not.

This voyage has been one I chose to take decades ago because I wanted to get free of automatic negative opinions about everything that led me to anxiety and depression. If I felt guilty or ashamed when I did nothing, I had to dive deep to discover why I felt this way. When bad things happened, I had to figure out what part did I play in this? Maybe I played no role in it, and perhaps I created the entire story. I wanted to become confident that I could see the truth. I tried to calm my mind and learn to enjoy my life. It was challenging to change.

I had much to be thankful for but found I  had a blockage and could not feel grateful. I used to pick things apart to find a complaint. Today I am free of automatic negative thinking, depression, and continual anxiety. It was a choice, and I will always discipline my mind to remain free of both. It is a formula I discovered that worked to free me from stress. I choose to practice this every day. It takes conscious effort, brings change, and is hard at times, but I choose to make an effort every day because it feels great to have clarity of mind with a positive attitude. I am so grateful to have come this far and look forward to the future with positive expectations. The best is yet to be, I may not know the future, but the world is full of so many good people it is sure to be brighter.

We can choose not to change. Everything is a choice, and choices have consequences. People that add to my good life are welcomed. People that use me, I don't have the time or space in my life anymore. It has taken a long time for me to learn to enforce healthy boundaries that allow positive influences in my circle of trust as friends. Now I know there is "no perfect normal life," I can thankfully get on with the one I was born to live.

Thankful for everyone that loved me enough to help me get here. Now may I be a light to love others.

How to Be Powerfully Dangerous!

 If you can learn to write your thoughts in grammatically correct sentences, then you can think. If you can think, you can control your thoughts. Turn off radio, TV, iPhones, media and see what comes to mind. Can you think outside of what you see, touch, feel, or taste?

If not, create space in your mind to think independent thoughts? How? Learn to meditate with silence. Once you make space through meditative silence, YOUR thoughts will appear.

Once you can articulate your thoughts in words on paper, you can state your case. Once you can think things through to make YOUR case, you can listen and counterpoint. Read, research, write, and speak to be powerful. You are not easily misled when you know the facts of your research.

To be dangerous, truly dangerous, and powerful simultaneously, take the time to learn to write YOUR thoughts. Did you know most people can’t do this? Most people do not know what they think unless they are told. Be bold, be brave, be different, dare to think outside the box, and write your thoughts.

If you can read, you are ahead of the game, and if you can write your thoughts, you are the winner.

Steps

The first steps we take in life are to stand.

The next steps we take are to walk.

Then steps evolve into running.

As people that are born free, we all learn to take steps of personal responsibility to stand for our autonomous freedom in unity with kindness and compassion.

As we gratefully walk free we remember the “citizens” that debated and created the documents for us, the future citizens of this country to have a voice in our government forever.  We are a kind compassionate people who enjoy prosperity and welcome peaceful diversity.

We are a nation born of great innovative ideas to live free as individuals and to prosper.  We are U.S. Americans, the only race we run in is human.

Thankful to be alive in these exciting days of truth in the land of freedom for people worldwide.

If peace is to be, it starts with “Free Me.”

 

Every Experience in Your Life is Taking You to Your Destiny

As the years go by I am amazed at how many of my dreams as a child come true.  The gratefulness for life and my courage to move to get to the next mountain to climb to see what is over the other side has given me great joy. Some mountains took me to the next adventure and adventure after adventure lead me to find wonderful things I never knew existed. Along the way, I uncovered many latent talents within me and met wonderful people with great advice and positive attitudes.  

There are YouTube podcasters with successful podcasts I enjoy visiting to see these young people moving forward living their dream because they have a positive attitude and keep moving to the next adventure. Living life on their terms moving forward with another plan, another job, another direction, learning lessons about life every day, confident they can overcome any challenge that gets in the way.

If I could impart this one thing to anyone, I would give you the confidence to know, things will get better and you will find a way to live your dream if you keep searching, living, exploring another direction. If you have a job and you don't like it, then file that knowledge in your brain, and get another one, move on. If you are living somewhere you don't like, find another town and move. If you don't like your unimaginative friends, find new ones. Life is not about hiding from your troubles, it is about running to your dream. Your destiny is your decision. It is not about where you started, it's about where you end.

It really is that easy but you just have to find the confidence to change everything if you need to. For me, letting go of family drama on both sides of the family and setting personal boundaries were the first two steps. When a family supports your adventurous spirit it makes life easier to explore, if they don't you will need the courage to go on where they would not. In the end, as you get older, you can learn, things will work out if you don't get scared and give up. This generation is amazing to me, they are courageous and kind.

Families may even come together after all those years if you remain true to your course and let them go. Families are wonderful. After all the core goodness of who you are, came from those good folks. You found you needed to find your life separate from theirs but you always forgive and love them.  When families unite it is meant to be, if not accept and move on.  Life is wonderful if you have the courage to live it on your terms without malice.

Thankful for my life and the people in it every day.

Who Do You Trust?

Who do you trust?

The study of thought or feeling is like the question, ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Now we know there is an egg, and unless fertilized, there will be no chicken. 

Depending on the scientist or guru you select as your authority figure, these will influence your opinion and action. If you read and listen to as many as I have, you can find contradictions between all of them on the same idea.  Fortunately, I trust my opinion most of all. In truth, I have had to change my mind on what I believe is the truth throughout my life.  Science has made this change a few times. Other times, I go with “my body, my choice, and freedom to choose what is right for me.”   Scientists and spiritual leaders outside of me DO NOT guide me. Freedom to live as I see fit without harming another is fundamental to me. Ultimately I decide what I believe, and I choose how I act. I love to serve others.

From making a diet change to herbal medicines, natural remedies for my health are always my go-to. I avoid artificial pharmaceuticals at all costs.  If the prolonged sickness is making a life or death threat to me, then and only then do I seek the medical doctor. Our natural immune system is the most potent medicine in any human being. Artificial pharmaceuticals are last on the list of things to do. Our children have been raised the same, address diet, no fast food on regular routine, low sugar treats, and exercise. As a mother, water was given every night in their bottle for bedtime. I have had many a baby bottle flung at me once the baby tasted the water.  I retrieved the bottle, and although I knew the baby did not understand me, I kindly returned the bottle to the baby again and again. Sometimes the baby dropped it on the floor, and the baby went to sleep. Later, the baby would take the water bottle. Good!

Water is excellent for the human body.  Juice bottles can rot the teeth and should not be given anytime.  *TIP: If the juice is given, it needs to be cut in half with water.

So our family is very health conscious and aware that the human body can heal itself. Smoking and alcohol were eliminated from our diets. When the children were born, these toxic substances were not being consumed by their parents in front of the children to influence the children to adopt these poisonous substances as acceptable adult behavior. If you have had an alcoholic parent or addict as a relative, you learn the harms these cause to the family structures first hand. We experienced this.

Pharmaceuticals are poison introduced in small doses and can help at times. Thankful for prescriptions when we know their place,  at the end of the physical defense line, END of the line, not a first go-to.  Wise, wise men and women of our past have known this for centuries.

If you are interested in returning to your ROOTS, seek, and you will find books on herbal medicines our ancestors worldwide used in place of modern pharmaceuticals.  A few suggestions are vegetable juicing, acupuncture, essential oils, meditations, aromatherapy, active release therapy for pinched nerves, etc.

The beautiful thing is you choose the things that work for you and you believe. In this natural nurturing of your own body,  peace will be found in balance with nature in your mind and body. Be kind to yourself. If peace is to be, it begins with me. Thankful to know of the natural healing of the human mind and body.

The Best of Life is Mine

You and you alone can give yourself the best in your present moment. 

Years ago I decided to save $300 every year to spend on my birthday with one caveat, it had to be spent on anything I loved but thought was a foolish waste of money. For example, I bought an expensive leather purse, lessons to do anything new I wanted to try from parachuting to embroidery classes, a designer pair of shoes, one outfit, (shoes not included), an expensive dinner for one, me, a piece of jewelry, one bottle of perfume, travel out of town to a live play, or one night in a five-star hotel. I got excited every time. At last, I could luxuriate in a whirlpool bath with the Epson salts I bought for $5 from a local department store. (BTW these Epson salt baths can cost $100 in a spa)  Sometimes I would stay in a $200 a night hotel and save $100 to order room service and enjoy that meal in a beautiful room while reading a book. My world was my oyster.

When I left home as a single woman working to support myself I had less money but I saved $60 for the gas to go to the beach every month for a weekend getaway from work. Sleeping in my car, and enjoying the walks on the beach was worth the trip. I always saved just enough money to treat myself to a $5 brunch on the boardwalk before heading home Sunday. My life was wonderful! It helps that I prefer being alone with my thoughts and a good book. 

If you plan throughout the year and save $5 there and $20 there you can save. Ways to save a little each day? One can make your coffee and lunch at home before you go to work.  Decide to limit your dinners out, limit how many times you go to the movies, etc, $300 can be easily saved when you plan.  $300 may not be much to you but to me it was extravagant! 

When you are brought up by depression-era parents/grandparents, they think spending money on anything 'not on sale' is wasteful. Some of these depression-era people worked hard and found a way to overcome the poverty mentality, others did not. But I decided as an adult to provide a few of these luxuries to myself no matter what my finances. In the process, I learned that taking care of yourself in every way builds confidence in you and your ability to survive in this world.

Now I am older and raised a family using my frugal mindset to give our family the best. My husband has done the same, we always gave our children more than we were given. It has been a joy. The best of life was given to them when we gave them two parents that truly loved them and stayed together through good times and bad with comfortable (sometimes uncomfortable) compromises to live as a family.

All these years later with many adventures and luxuries enjoyed with my Sweetheart, we slow down because we want to. So I thought I would share some ideas of simple luxuries that don't cost much that anyone can give to yourself if you are on a budget. First, make a plan to save.

1) If you like anything from a baseball glove to a silver cup, search for these at flea markets or antique stores and buy a cheap one. Restore it if need be but use it every day. This can bring a smile to your face every time you see it or use it. 

2) If you visit a museum and see an item you like but cannot afford to buy now or see anyone doing something you'd like to try, (skydiving) make a plan. Get creative and improvise a way to do it too?  For example, I rode by a castle, I saw the gardens and a table with chairs out on the lawn. I thought, "Would it not be wonderful to have a picnic out there?"  So I found a park, packed a picnic, and set out a card table and chair with a beautiful tablecloth (The tablecloth I had purchased at a consignment shop.) I added the silver-plated teacup, $3, and embroidered cloth napkin for $2, which I purchased at an antique store. I dined outdoors using these antique, but quality items as I ate a peanut butter sandwich on a beautiful lawn. If you close your eyes, you are at the castle.

3) Years later I visited inside that castle and truth be known it was not what was on the inside that was most beautiful to me but the land and views out the windows. We all can look out the window (That's free) if only we open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us now.  It is a lovely planet we live upon.

You get the idea, now what can you give yourself right now that is the best of life? What smaller thing have you always wanted?  Hunt for it and be excited to find it. Buy an imitation of that item until you can buy the real item. Start out little and watch the bigger things come into your life because you make a plan and take action.  Life will change, it will get better. It always does if you keep going. Be patient, content, and grateful.

Today to make my life easier, I inserted three gold hooks on my chairside table to hold my glasses, my earphones, and my back scratcher. (This is where I sit daily to write.) These little changes will make my life easier. Ok, Ok, Ok, you caught me...the back scratcher was bought from the Thomas Jefferson museum gift shop and it definitely cost too much for a back scratcher but it makes me happy!  But hey, I deserve the best and so do you! Don't sweat the small stuff but enjoy these when you can!

Thankful to know we all deserve the best of life and can give it to ourselves if we only open our eyes, make an effort and get creative. We are grateful every day for everyone, however, we prefer positive attitudes with creative ideas that innovate and serve a purpose outside of ourselves to improve the world. Grateful, positive mindsets make all the difference in every life. To surround ourselves with people that maintain positive attitudes and grateful hearts in our inner circle of trust is our preference now. Life is short, we intend to enjoy the rest of it.

Kind, compassionate, grateful people replace the "things" we value most of all. It seems one has to be older and wiser to slow down and be thankful today. Everything is better than it was a hundred years ago. Slow down and think, you'll get excited and thankful too.

 

Love Apparent

It took me decades to uncover self-love and self-respect. The powerful attitudes of winning in life were buried deep inside me beneath hurt and betrayal. We are born winners with innate selfless, kind abilities that can be nurtured or destroyed by the adults and attitudes surrounding us in our childhood. Many of us know this by experience, yet we choose to forgive and love others anyway. People are resilient like that, and it is a wonderful phenomenon that saves the world.

The foundational years (birth to ten years old) lay a blueprint for our lives and are best taught by the two biological parents that "chose" to have you. Children love their natural parents, be they good or bad examples. This deep-rooted genuine love from a child to a parent is a gift to the parents whether the parent earns it or not.

The definition of "Love" was taught there in childhood to each of us. In dysfunctional families, we learned faulty definitions of love. 

As children, we must now learn healthy definitions of love in adulthood through trial and error to correct our faulty assumptions. The world does not protect us from suffering. We have to do that for ourselves. To trust anyone when you are naive is dangerous. To trust others once you are wise is to be ready to take on the adult world because you know no matter what comes, you will land on your feet. 

One has to live about three decades (Thirtyish) to develop your independence emotionally and financially to become "wise enough" to navigate the dating world.

Many older women and men have learned the hard way and now advise: DO NOT get intimate, have a child, or get married when you are in your teens or early twenties. These years are transitional years to find yourself. Most divorces and regrets can be avoided if you first grow up emotionally, finish school, find your career, save money, and travel before settling down with one person, including a child. Get good at being content "alone" and providing for yourself. (I could have used these guidelines before dating, now I give these to you to protect your heart. You can't hurry true love.)

In my travels, I have learned a thing or two that will help you NOT get caught in traps with people that will make false promises and toss you to the side. Here are some actions you can observe BEFORE you get involved with anyone to set personal boundaries to protect your mind, body, and heart. There is more to this wonderful life than getting married or becoming a parent. Both marriage and parenthood need to be entered into after much responsible contemplation, not a result of an unplanned pregnancy or the "expected" thing to do.

February is the month of LOVE, so I decided to share a more precise definition of what I have come to believe is genuine love in action. Someone that will hurt or betray you does NOT love you. Learn to recognize these obvious traits of deception BEFORE you become involved with anyone and save yourself a lifetime of heartache. "Genuine Love" has apparent characteristics that can be observed too. 

Please slow down, look closely at her/his actions, listen to the words to determine the motives of the person you are dating. If you are not ready to settle down with your ONE and ONLY, you will not recognize true love when it arrives. True love is not found in the fast lane while growing up.

When you know you are valuable, you will set boundaries of self-respect that will guide you through many dud dates to find one true love that will last your lifetime.

Hint: Marrying your "platonic" best friend can be the best decision you'll ever make. If you are best friends BEFORE you move in together, this friendship will be more sustainable while you both pursue your dreams. TOGETHER it is easier to survive the storms of life that will undoubtedly come with a best friend by your side. Let love come to you; no need to chase it.

Here are a few characteristics to look for in a best friend/mate. We do not claim to know everything but this list will help some of you, I'm sure.

Love is NOT…

Love is NOT manipulative,

Love is NOT controlling,

Love is NOT gaslighting (Presenting a false narrative to confuse and control you)

Love is NOT cheating,

Love is NOT lying,

Love is NOT stealing,

Love is NOT competitive,

Love is NOT verbal degradation,

Love is NOT threatening abuse,

Love is NOT physical abuse,

Love is NOT neglectful,

Love is NOT co-dependent on another,

Love is NOT USING anyone for selfish purposes,

Love IS…

Love IS LISTENING to understand and give validation to the other person's opinion,

Love IS SUPPORTING a different opinion you did not originate,

Love IS OPENLY discussing disagreements if need be; agreeing to disagree,

Love IS AN OPEN HEART to accept differences,

Love IS GIVING ATTENTION to the one loved,

Love IS BEING PRESENT physically and emotionally when needed,

Love IS ACCEPTING our differences,

Love IS CELEBRATING your love's success,

Love IS BEING SILENT at times,

Love IS SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR MATE'S DREAMS,

Love IS GIVING ADVICE IF ASKED,

Love IS INDEPENDENT,

Love IS TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN FIRST,

Love IS SETTING "PERSONAL" BOUNDARIES to give respect and receive respect.

It starts with two people ready to be devoted to ONE another to experience unity, preferring to be faithful in every way. Equals, each has self-love and self-respect BEFORE becoming engaged. In our relationship (44 years and counting) we embrace diversity. We respect differences. We welcome calm, factual debates of exploring our thoughts together. Often we agree to disagree but never on the basics of being kind and compassionate morally. To learn to trust life without constant suffering is to discover the joy of being an adult and thinking for yourself and then living without being a victim.

If the world is a friendly place, it must start inside me. Thinking for myself and setting boundaries to choose wisely is mandatory. Thankful to have made it this far and share some wisdom with you freely. 

When "LOVE is APPARENT," a lifetime is a joy to share with your true love.

"Your life is a gift to the world." ~MJN

BTW: My husband helped me make this list for you. 

Happy New Year 2021, Living the Dream

This year instead of external goals such as money, weight, and finding love how about we dare to LIVE THE DREAM we often allude to but rarely chase? Let's make a promise to navigate whatever comes with an internal view to find positive actions within ourselves to create a path to live our dream. When we believe in ourselves we can find a way. When we are confident and at peace with ourselves we find common ground with others. We find a way when it seems there is no way. All life is resilient.

Thankful to know the world of humans can be a peaceful collection of diversity when we look deeper than the external appearances of opposition. Every day people want the same things, self-sovereignty, peace, and freedom, a simple formula to live our dream. Years of self -dissection and discovery I have come to know, external peace is rarely attained collectively but internally we can choose peace thought by thought, moment by moment.  

How to live free? The secret is to exercise self-sovereignty by controlling our thoughts. Peace is achieved by daring to independently think positively against all odds. Freedom is accomplished by making plans mentally to put into action now, if only on paper. Internal peace, no one can take away.  

"Grateful attitudes and positive outlooks always win the moment, the day, the year, and life. We, the people will rise."

"Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny." -- Chinese proverb, author unknown