"Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less." ~ Susan B. Anthony

Susan B. Anthony was quite a woman with a mission.  She rode a buck wagon across thousands of miles speaking in every town to promote women to join the fight "Votes For Women."  She challenged women to think outside of being a drudge (A poor man's wife which kept her apron tied to the stove and pregnant, and to be his sexual playmate) or a trophy wife, (One that was kept to be pretty on his arm and make him look good in society with her domestic entertaining skills, babies, and be his sexual playmate). 

At the time, neither of these type women had rights to her own property nor her children should she choose to leave a bad marriage for any reason.  Susan wanted women to have the same rights as men and have “her own money.”  Susan knew a starting point was to get the right to vote for women.

Susan traveled with an alligator purse under the buck board of her wagon, across the Continental Divide, thousands of miles in snow, mud, and unpaved roads to get her message out. She was committed to giving women a "Voice." 

I would like Susan B Anthony to see the young women today, I believe she would be glad to see we did get the right to vote, (She died before this became law in 1920, but she declared "Failure is Impossible!") and she would be thrilled at the education that has opened up to women, to see independent women that are earning their own money, she would have loved to see a woman running for president. 

BUT... I believe she would shake her head in disbelief at the numbers of women that waste time and money on selfies, make up, hair extensions, plastic surgeries, vanity, and shopping. When will we women wake up, grow up, and move up in vision of self? That's where real power lies, in the collective voice of educated women seeking to make positive changes for the world, not the next selfie for social media.

Turn off social media fishing for compliments, stop with the selfies, we know what you look like...  Start using your intellectual talents, these are much more valuable to the world.

And "Thank you Susan!" You did your job, we will do ours.

  

Mary Jane Candy

The story I was told by my mother, revealed I was a surprise baby. Not only was I not planned but after three boys she knew she would have another one, boy, that is.  Only having boy names ready she searched her brain for a girl name.

Mother was a Dorothy Mae, Grandma was a Lynnie Newell, so she came up with Dotty Lynn.  This would be fine if I was born with a county guitar in my hand and an ability to twain. (I have not been musically inclined at any point in my life.)

Having three older brothers, one a year older, and two more, much older 11 and 12, the 11 y. o. happen to be visiting Mom and the new baby girl in the hospital.  The subject of my name came up and when he heard Dotty Lynn, he was not totally on board with this...Thank goodness! Thank you Bob!

He happen to be eating out of a bag of "Mary Jane" candy. As he popped another one in his mouth, he said, "What about Mary Jane?"  Mom liked it and Mary Jane it was.  Mom wanted to make it a little different so she decided to spell it Merry Jayne.  The nurse came in to record my name and mother forgot to tell her the spelling she had chosen.

So Mary Jane it became until I joined a secret girls' club in 7th grade.  The president of the club decided all members had to change their name. The club members voted and said I had three choices, 1) "Red" because my hair was red,  2) "Marijuana" because that was my Spanish name and  3) "Candy" for Mary Jane candies.

I did not want Red, because I thought that was short for 'Redneck.' I did not want Marijuana because that was an illegal drug, so I picked Candy.  Years later I met my husband and he had loved the name Candace for a woman and chose to call me "Candace" and "Candy" for the past 4 decades.  Northern friends have only known me by Candy.  You know some one knows me from long ago and far away when I am called Jane or Mary Jane.

Now I know I am not my name, I am a being. (But that is another story another day.)

Your life is a gift to the world

The first time I heard of the Dalai Lama and Buddhism was in the 60's with the "Hippie" movement. These wonderful educated "Hippies" had began traveling the world, being schooled in other cultures, exposed to other religions, and dared to bring some of the practices back here to buck the heavy puritan religion of the good old USA.

Among the new discoveries that were shared with a new generation against the Vietnam War, were Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and other "isms" from the Eastern side of the planet.   The ways of non-materialism and liberation, inner peace, renunciation, and harmlessness, was just the remedy for this confusing time in America.  Meditation, finding inner peace within self, not based on having more, more, more, things!  Helped to relieve some feeling of powerlessness the youth of America were feeling as their brothers and sisters were being sacrificed in Vietnam.

At the time I was living in what some would call, a commune.  It was a farm connected with a new ministry that my family thought was a "cult."  Although I was studying the KJV Bible, I heard of "Buddhism" and the leader of it, the 14th Dalai Lama.  I read some of the Buddhist beliefs and found them to be very much like the teachings of Jesus.

I thought back then in 1975, 'I'd like to see the Dalai Lama in person and hear him speak to see if he is the real deal,' but I never really thought I'd see him in person, after all I was in the South of USA and he was living in India.

Years later in 2009 I was among the people who bought a ticket to see the Dalai Lama in person at the Palace Theater, Albany, NY. I had now been studying Buddhism for 6 years, and I can say, he is the real deal.  The daily meditation I learned through my studies of Buddhism has helped me with my clinical depression more than any drug.  Three things he said that resonated with me that day. 1) I am human, if I were not I would not have had a bladder operation last year to remove it! (he chuckles, he has a great sense of humor)  2) news reporters need to find another honorable profession because the lies told in the media is hurting people (he pointed to news reporters standing around the perimeter of the theater) and the most meaningful to me he said, 3) My life is a gift to the world.  

You know we are all one, we are connected by the same blood and air.  I thought he really knows his life is a gift to the world, he teaches his truth, he lives his truth, he knows his purpose.  He is no different in value on this earth than any of us.  If this is true, then "My life is a gift to the world," just like Jesus knew his life was a gift to the world.  "Your Life Is A Gift To The World."

A realization to meditate on daily.  

 

"Yesterday I was clever, I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself." ~ Rumi

As a teenager I must admit I did NOT feel different from every one, I did NOT feel alone.  I did feel for a long time as if I was a character in my life's play watching my life happen without direction or any control on my part. No one taught me I could be in control of my life because they did not know it either.  You cannot teach what you do not know. 

I have lived through the darkness of suicidal tendencies since teenage years without alcohol or drugs. These thoughts are real at the time you think them, but if you know these thoughts are not reality but rather a genetic chemical imbalance in your DNA and that these dark thoughts will pass in time, if YOU CHOOSE to be patient, you will live through it and can begin to look for the good in your life and the world around you rather than see only the bad.  (Actually these thoughts are a wake up call for you to change.)

But YOU have to CHOOSE to control your thoughts, CHOOSE to be patient, CHOOSE to look for the good in life and the world. A great practice to learn how to do this is found in "www.thework.com" with Byron Katie. If you need help doing the work you can find many videos of her doing the work with people on YouTube.  Byron Katie's work has helped me and it can help you IF YOU DO the work.  I studied her work for 14 months daily before I understood how to do the work. It will take the rest of my life to continue to choose the truth of it.

The truth I know for sure, is all of us choose the thoughts we think every moment and if we think positive thoughts it will lead to more positive thoughts as negative ones lead to more negative thoughts. Through reading books on self-help I read from the local library,(as a teenager) I began to change my thoughts and my life, but I could not change the people around me.  I have since learned it is not my job to change anyone but me.  It is my job to remove negative influences from my life and if that means moving far away from a group of people who judge you, or do not support your desires and dreams, then do it. I did.  Take as long as YOU need to become strong in confidence of self. Then...

You can come back one day of YOUR CHOOSING when you can withstand the negative judgments without a flutter of an eyelash, because you are standing on solid ground of who you are and what you believe.  It is strange the way this works, once you know who you are and where your boundaries are, you lose the need to defend yourself in word or action. You can just be present in peace.

Byron Katie teaches, "Defense is the first sign of war."  And God knows we don't need any more war in our world especially in our families especially at holidays.

"If thank you is the only prayer you say, it will be enough." Meister Eckhart

Living in a small southern town, growing up in a place that had no fast food or pizza restaurants, there was not much to do. We had a piano teacher, (I was not musically inclined), we had a dance teacher, (I took dance for a while) and a roller rink, (this was fun) but the lessons I liked best were baton twirling from Ann Pardue, a North Carolina state baton twirling champion. She was amazing and a very good teacher. Thank you Ann!

She was good and I practiced every day. When I tried out for majorette it was clear I had the style and ability, it was also clear to the band leader that although I could be a feature twirler at home coming football games, I did not have the right attitude to be the chief majorette and lead others.  His words.

Being a leader I thought was having technical ability but I have since learned it is more, much more.

Twirling was fun.  Being a feature twirler was fun and I did it because it was offered, it did not feed an existing ego because I had none. If anything I had a low self-esteem that in truth wanted to make me fade away, go unnoticed to somewhere away from that town.

In time I moved away from that small town.  There was nothing there for me to become or grow into. I moved away to find me, and become the best me I could be, even though I did not know who that person was at 17 y. o. yet.

I have learned that a key to living life with enthusiasm is to live each day thankful. I use to say, "I'm thankful!" But I was not truly thankful.  Words said often can become meaningless but when the road of life becomes hard, really hard, and it has for me at times, there is a thankfulness that comes with surrendering to life, knowing there is nothing else that I can say or do, that brings a thankful thought to mind.

Thankful for my pillow, thankful for the floor, thankful for a toothbrush, thankful for shelter, heat, food, etc. the simple everyday things many take for granted without thanks.  The thankfulness attitude that begins when your eyes awake, continued throughout the morning routines, become a habit throughout the day that makes your day happier no matter what comes.

I have learned that if I am alive there is hope for me. That I can find peace, a peace that only I can bring to myself, (Emerson said this) a thankful mind opens to new ideas and roads undiscovered.

Today I am thankful for so many things that were given along the way to the life I have today. Of the things I am most thankful for are my children and a wonderfully supportive husband of 38 years now. I do not wonder who I am, I do not wonder what my purpose is, and I have found that I detest the word "leader." (another blog, another time 😉)

So I am truly thankful for my life and if my life ended today, it was enough. I have been loved and I have loved, without strings attached I have given to many people in need, and many people have given to me, the universe has taken care of me, and I have taken care of the universe. All is well...

Today I know that being thankful, truly thankful, thoughtfully thankful is enough for a beautiful life.

Thanksgiving Dinner is not celebrated by all Americans

I read, to the Indians located here in US America, this is a day to mourn because Indians gave the new settlers food and taught them skills to survive in this land and the white men in return, brought disease and stole their land.

As a modern day American, I can read history although I did not create it yet. As a child from the South I learned this was a day to celebrate for the founding of America, my home, and a salute to Indians that helped us settle.  I have an antique bust of Hiawatha that my Mom bought at an auction when I was around 4 y o, and my Dad and I loved this bust and what it represented to us. I have it today in my house.

As an interest in the American Indians came from my childhood love of them, their lifestyle, their ability to live off the land, free to travel and set up Indian longhouses, etc.  I learned there are many more tribes, nations, throughout the USA than most Americans know of today. And like any group where humans gathered anywhere, there were peaceful tribes and there were violent tribes that fought, killed, burned villages, stole women, horses, livestock, from other tribes. This is not exclusive to "white men." It seems whenever there are humans on any continent these characteristics will prevail among us.

I do not know positively of any of my own family that came from slave owners, robbers, anti-christ, anarchists, rapists, intentional carriers of disease used to kill others, pirates, (I once was told that Sir Frances Drake was in my genealogy, Yikes!)  government officials, presidents, but that does not mean they do not exist in my ancestors. There may be Indian, African American, Jewish blood in my lineage, who can say? Just because it is not documented does not mean it is not there.

I do know this, whatever happened back then, I cannot make amends enough for those that suffered because of it, but I can in this life, make my life one of kindness to all people of all races, religions, or politics because I know this life is all I have now, all I know for sure. I can teach through example to my children and the small world I interact and live in to be kind.

So I choose to not live in the past and not mourn things that take away the present moment of joy, here, now.  I know that joining in this sorrow will not take it away from anyone.

I will celebrate Thanksgiving Day every year for all the good things I have been given in this life. This I know for sure, "To be grateful, to be thankful on any day of the year is good for the planet."