A Daughter (in-law) is a Gift

What is it about a strong independent thinking woman that is so in touch with her relatives that she senses when something is amiss even if no one says anything?  I have a daughter and a girlfriend who does this for me often.  The phone call that comes at a time I am suffering silently that says, "could not get you out of my thoughts today so I had to call and see how you are..."

And then there is the part of me that wants to be strong and say, "Everything's fine" when I am not fine.  In my older years I have found it is ok to let our adult children know when we are hurt or when we are weak, or when we need help, and to let them help us.  Adult children mean they can be your confidants, they can handle more trouble than you know, they do not need our protection anymore, support, yes, confidant yes, but no need to coddle and take care of them, in fact this coddling makes them afraid to leave home without you.

Our children have been independent for years now. Strong, independent thinkers, wise beyond their years and in fact much wiser than I was at their age, wiser than my husband at their age, maybe we did something right.  Women in particular don't like lies, cover ups, and BS.  Maybe this is why God made them the mothers of the future generations...to instill a love for the truth, or maybe we all are born with this in us, maybe fear is taught.  Words teach fear or fearlessness, what are you listening to everyday and how do you feel after hearing it?  You decide and for me I turned off cable and read books, if you read enough books, you begin to get your own opinion based on facts not hear say. We trust our children for they like us read and formulate their own opinions and you can bet when they speak to us, they have the facts, a truth we trust because they are informed.  We can openly debate anything and agree to disagree on the details peacefully without separation.

So a gift in my older years is our wise daughter, she listens and takes action to show her love to us every single day.  Daughter-in-laws are like that too.  My mother loves her daughter-in-laws, and my daughter loves me.  Strong, kind, women, are a gift in each of our lives. Thankful for each of these in our family.

He Walked In and He Walked Out

A backyard cookout in the woods, a little white face appeared, a kitten, too young to be taken from his mother poked his head out, looking for food or comfort.

A night on the bathroom floor with him in a box with blanket, an alarm clock set for 45 minutes, I woke up and fed the little starving angel, every 45 minute one teaspoon of cat food at a time. With his extended stomach from starvation, a bloody split lip and two fang marks on the top of his little head, I could not take in another cat, he was too injured and I did not have the time to nurse a kitten.  Too many responsibilities, already had cats, children a busy schedule, and work, no time for a sick kitty.  By 9am the next day I started calling “no kill” shelters, no room at the inn. I called other counties, and humane societies, no room.

I was offered to drop him off and he would be euthanized.

18 years later, he was on thyroid meds twice a day, he began to become very thin. Less and less he did not want to be held or touched, or to eat.  Then without a word, he walked out of the house and never came back. He left the way he came with my heart.

Every day I thank God he came into our lives, he was the most courageous, loving cat we have ever had, who loved everyone.  I may have healed his external wounds but he healed many more of my emotional ones.  Animals are like that…

I cannot talk about this anymore now, not for a long time, my grief is too great. We loved him well.

Arrogance and Resentment the Root Of All Problems?

Clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson of Toronto University is causing quite a stir.  He has written a new book "12 Rules For Life: An Antidote for Chaos" and he is in trouble with those trying to suppress free speech on college campuses. He is vehemently against obstructing it. You can see his lectures on YouTube.

I stumbled upon him and found him giving Bible lectures that are explained by the human nature he studies. Makes the Bible fairy tales begin to make real scientific sense. He says he is an expert on "anti-social behavior" and suffers from depression.  My intrigue was he is the first doctor I have ever heard explain that depression is an autoimmune disease. Think about that. Is it true?

He says all problems boil down to "arrogance and resentment."  All problems.  We have thought about this and Peterson may be right.  You may find his lectures interesting and 85% of his audience are males although he is a psychologist.  Women typically are the majority of psych studies students.  He puts reason and logic back in play in this politically confusing atmosphere.

I bought his book and am currently reading it. Whether you agree or disagree with him, he is a breath of fresh air. A person worth looking at to decide for yourself.

Thankful to see live lectures of anything I have interest in and being independent thinking enough to make up my own mind about anyone and everything.  My fear is that many young people don't have the courage to hear another side of a debate and be able to make a valid comeback to support their position.

 American men and women, good to be living in the USA, hope we can be leaders of free thought and free discussion and welcome free thinking ideas forever.

A Moose In The Wild Highway

My prayer for many decades has been to see a moose in the wild and tonight at 4 AM on the Mass Pike my dream came true.  I have driven in the mountains of Vermont and New Hampshire for years looking for moose, I have kayaked the Moose River for years looking for moose, and when I wasn't looking...I meet one on the Mass Pike at 4 AM!

The magnificent creature stood about 8 feet tall and the antlers were higher, I was so excited.  He stood there handsome as any thoroughbred race horse I had seen at  Saratoga Racetrack, beautiful. We were talking about our eldest and how we love him so and the moose appeared.  We went to Providence, Rhode Island tonight to see his band Tanith play, and the band was fantastic.

Our eldest loves moose too. I took it as a sign from heaven that everything is going to be alright. Life is good and getting better every day for each of us.

 

My Prayer to God as Each Child was Born

At some point your children fly.  With or without you they fly.  You are no longer needed and they let go of you. And I think, this is the way it should be no matter what the why is.  As a parent we both encouraged our children to go their own way. And if that way does not include us, it is well.

Seems like relationships are no more than what they actually are, short term, long term, temporary, but permanent seems to come only through a partner relationship in life if you choose to have one., and if you choose to be there a lifetime with that partner, come what may. And here is the basics of men and women, both like each other if both fulfil a fantasy role of what the other should play, but when the role of the other is not played to the fantasy you envision it is easy to hold the other in contempt. If this contemptible view is focused upon more than the good in the other, the relationship may end.

Men cannot be all things to any woman and neither can any woman be all things to any man.  My thought is if both of you are complete in yourself, the other will not let you down.

So if parents are complete with knowing the children are free to go, that life goes on even without children around, it is easier to let them go.  You think about them no doubt, but you surrender to their freedom, you have to, you have no choice.

My prayer to God was two things as each was born, 1) Let me be a kind memory to each of them in their old age and 2) help me to let go of them so they can fly.  Number one can only be known to them after my death, and the latter is one I deal with daily.  Surrender to what is and be thankful they are living life on their terms with or without us.

Thankful to have free spirited children, they, like us, went their own way.

Lake George Jazz Festival, Yankee Stadium, Life is Good

Once again as I go with the flow I get unexpected surprises and gifts.  I am not a fan of Jazz Music but my Sweetheart loves it and so most times when he wants to go to a jazz club or concert I will go. The Jazz Festival in Lake George was his interest and we went with two of our kids.  He enjoyed this so much, I spent the time talking with my daughter and getting take out dinner for us all from the Lake George Beach Club restaurant, so we could picnic on the lawn while we listened.

Then one band, Weather Report caught my ear, I actually liked this jazz music.  My Sweetheart told me the violinist traveled with "Yanni" for 12 years. What?  He is one of my absolute favorites and the first time I heard that violin solo it made me so happy to hear such talent plating such beautiful sound, I teared up. That was her, on stage at a free concert in Shepard's Park!  I ran down to the stage and danced on the side of the stage while applauding her loudly! At the end of the song she politely turned towards me and bowed her head with a smile to me. That talented and humble too?  It was a moment to remember for me forever.  I went back stage and got their picture and an autograph of the lead male singer. Actually I did not ask for it but he wanted to sign a CD for me, so I bought the CD and let him. Performers...

The I reluctantly went to the new Yankee Stadium to see a game with the family and surprisingly liked it! Why? No one spit beer on me, the crowd was much, much, calmer and many were a very nice crowd.  I stopped going to Yankee Stadium about 18 years ago. My last game was on September 10, 2001. I vowed never to go again to be in such unruly company, I detest having spit and cursing around me.

Thankfully NY won over Boston Red Sox 3 to 2. The last double out was worth seeing, and the crowd did yell, "Boston Su*ks! And of course as a die hard Yankee fan, I can forgive that. 😉

Writing A Book Is Taking More Time So...

Because of work and time restraint, I will be writing my blog every few days.  The book is not going to write itself, and I need to focus on that to finish it this year.

Good things happening in the world every day. 

Life is good and getting better every day.

Thankful for this.