Hollywood Produces Another Hit Show, Single Mother Praised, Children...Details

Money, money, money, successful TV show, accolades, honors awarded, big success as single mother tells the journey, quite impressive, but her children?  Well you decide...

The road to Hollywood success will costs you, but with perseverance and plenty of money to hire nannies, house keepers, etc. you can do it!

Divorced, three daughters, an invalid mother, and a full time TV producer and star of her own show now, you can have it all. She does and she proudly tells us how.

This woman has made amazing strides in her own Hollywood success story and I applaud her for her perseverance on this road, it is not easy but when she spoke of taking care of her daughters...I felt for those girls... she said,

"Yes as a single mother, a full-time producer, I raised three daughters and took care of an invalid mother that lived next door...when the girls were going through hard times and puberty...

I thought of ways to stay away from them...

Now they are grown we have a better relationship than ever.

The only rule is if you are acting bitchy, Get out of the house!"

This home does not sound kind or comforting ...nothing matters because she is a successful TV writer and producer now.  Another feminist wins.

Oh the children?  They have access to Ivy League colleges and the best clothes, hotels, tickets in town or out of town, they are lucky.  Their mother is a mentor for them to follow, go to work full-time, leave children in anyone's care but their own mother and father.

Make sure to the best of your ability you have the best daycare money can buy, this makes your absence permissible, justifiable.  Better yet, let's put them in a boarding school year round, a prestigious expensive one, that's surely ok. Right?  The children want you.

A father? A home with both parents available to the children? This is no guarantee of a good outcome for the children. If you ask the kids, they want a home with both parents present, but what do they know? Children...details!

And she claims she is a "homebody" and when she is at home she cooks home made meals.

Webster's dictionary:
Homebody: A person who likes to stay at home, especially someone who is perceived as someone unadventurous.

She jokes about needing Xanax and Ambien to deal with life. (Alcohol is usually the drug of choice for such problems when prescriptions can't be obtained, at least it is for the rest of us Americans)

Details, actually being with children? Teaching healthy ways to deal with negative emotions? One that does not require drugs and alcohol. Now that's a worthy endeavor.

This does not matter, her way of dealing with emotional girls' problems? ..."Get Out!"

She is a winner any way you spin that story.  She never mentioned a father that helped with his children once. Was he a good role model for those girls? Did he help take care of them?

Maybe her daughters will follow in her foot steps, be writers like their mother and write their own story of growing up with their parents one day.  Their "tell all" book will not get much notice, does not matter, only the Hollywood success show of their mother, matters.  Tell all books usually get written when the money runs out for the children. It is the last ditch effort to cash in on mother's name.  Or maybe they will write a hit show!

What are you willing to sacrifice to get your dreams?

One thing I have learned, money can hide a multitude of dysfunctional behaviors. Who cares?  As long as you look good to the world the rest is just details.

Children..details.

What Do You Think In Any Given Situation Reveals Who You Think You Are

To start let's just take an example:  You are invited to a staff meeting at work that does not usually include you.  What does your mind say? 1) Oh finally, I'm getting that promotion I deserve. 2) Oh cripes! I hope they are not firing me.  3)  Wow, maybe we are getting some new directives that will help us all work more efficiently.

Or you are invited to a friend's birthday party you get there and your friend sees you but does not look at you. What does your mind say? 1) Who do they think they are, they invited me not the other way around? 2) What did I do to deserve the cold shoulder? 3) Oh, maybe my friend just received some bad news, or is distracted for a reason I don't know.

We get so much information from our OWN thoughts when we don't have all the details from the situation that send us in directions of own self evaluations.

The three answers of thought given here are self explanatory.  What if we chose to always think the best of benign situations when actions of malevolence are not detected yet?

Webster Dictionary:
Malevolent: act of showing evil intent.

If you choose number 1) as your answer, you are full of yourself, better bring it down a notch.
If you choose 2) as your answer, you think too little of yourself, better bring it up a notch.
If you choose 3) as your answer, you have a healthy, normal, self image. One that not only is patient and understanding but wants to help others.

If life has given you the abundance of it, you may want to share this with others.  If you have experienced patient understanding from loved ones in your life, especially in childhood, you will share this with others in your adult life.

Remember the blueprint of your life started in the first seven years of it.  After that it was re-enforced until you became an adult or were old enough to leave that environment. Now, if you like yourself, stay that way.

If you don't, change yourself.  It will not be easy but it can be done.

I neither came from abundance or patient kindness. As an adult I internalized this and hated myself, and considered suicide many times but I came to know this was wrong. How? I became friends with some really outstanding, kind, men and women like none I had ever met in my relatives or childhood.

Because I knew these wonderful people well, I knew they were human and made mistakes just like me, just like my relatives, yet they found a way to rise above the misfortunes and their mistakes to become kind, healthy, wealthy, and wise.  I wanted to learn what my relatives and church could not teach, how to rise above the misfortunes of my life.  Jesus cannot do this. 

It takes more than a belief in any higher power to get you on the road to long lasting inner peace, it takes more than fame, more than fortune, it takes more than comfort, it takes the hardest work you have ever done to get there and stay there.  But if you choose this mission, to not continue living in a world of materialistic desires and wants that include, hates and prejudices, you must go deep.

Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie have made the journey and the peace and sound mind they speak of is available to us all but we must want it.  There are many roads to get here, but these are the simplest and easiest for me and I always want to leave a road map where I've been so others can follow if you choose.  It is your life, you choose, I will work to be patient and kind with myself so I can do the same for you. You choose how you get what you want out of this life and I will choose mine.

This I know for sure: There are many ways to the top of any mountain. The mountain I'm climbing is called, "Self Awareness." There I find kindness for others and inner peace. Namaste.

Sisters Having a Sister Code Like Men Have Bro Code... Can This Ever Be?

If women are the moral backbone of society, (As I was told by my American mother) and so much is expected of women...why do some women when discussing a solution to a problem shun another woman when she has a different opinion of how to handle a situation?

We see the downfall of male egos that oppose one another to the point of wars that have ensued throughout history.  You'd think women would lead by example of communication and understanding, but women do not. Sometimes I think women are fighting a war here in America that does not exist legally for women anymore, at least not here with our US Constitution and amendments. The battleground is in the mind, where did I first read this? I wonder...

Why are some women pretending they are better than every other women because they are more educated, prettier,  have more money, or come from a "Blue" bloodline?  FYI: There is no such thing as "Blue" blood or "chosen people" that are more important than any other people. These are human made divisions and prejudices to elevate an ego.

We need no elevation when we finally know, we are one.

How about we women, don't just cut one another off on social media or conversation because of a different viewpoint?  I'm speaking in particular about social media personalities that pose questions and answers to their audience.

When someone gives a presentation and then asks you: to share a similar incident you had an "aha" moment, this person is directing you to say what they want to hear from you that validates what they just revealed to you in their spill...

...but sometimes I disagree with the spill and I say so. 

This has got me kicked off more female Facebook group pages than I can say, and it makes me see their true motives.  They are right and I am wrong.

Clicks, tribes ... a high school way to exist, evidently is alive in the adult world of women empowerment online programs and books.  I recently disagreed with another woman author's presentation of her answer to why she wrote her new book. She was giving a 4 part series presentation to sell her book to her audience. She asked for comments after each presentation...

I disagreed with "her" on some of her rationales and thought I don't need to voice my opinion but she she wants feedback, I want to support her wishes, so I wrote my dissent. My dissent was that she insists the "only" way to deal with this problem was "one way, her way" and that everyone will see this when they read her book. Her "way" came with references to a renowned female doctor or "expert" that has studied this problem personality for years... so it must be the answer for all of us too.

I knew the problem and knew another way to handle it, I have lived through it too. Mine was achieved through my own critical thinking skills and taking a different tack that worked for me.

I am not so "egotistically, lovingly" motivated to think I have the answer for everyone. 

Women do not need another woman, another man, another politician, another religion, another government dictating what she needs to do, including what she needs to wear, or how she needs to act.  The woman has a brain and can make these decisions herself.  Supporting her decision with calm objection, is the best way to help her believe in herself. Let her have the last word.

"Differing opinions need to be discussed calmly to find common ground and mutual respect for one another if we are to unite and live together in peace." ~  You can tweet this~ 

Back to my disagreeing comment and punishment, the next day I was blocked from 4 other of this author's female friends' Facebook pages.  I knew they were connected that's how I found each of them in the beginning. I knew I was blocked because I no longer got any of their Facebook feeds the very next day.

If I was hitting home runs at a ballpark I would be given the "Most Valuable Player of the Year Award" 4 birds disconnected with one comment.

Every woman has a mind and can make her own decision and I prefer an author that encourages others to think and decide for self. (Instead of listening to a so called "expert" because she has a PhD and has done multiple studies that prove her point.)  Listen to your heart, what do you believe is the best avenue for you to take for your own safety and the safety of your children's future?  Choose that.

And of these "professional successful" women there are painful divorces and the frustration now to find the "perfect man."  The couples I see in this group of females that are married, (I watch their videos,) the female definitely has the upper hand, and the men are happily following along.

"The perfect man does not exist neither does the perfect woman."~ There's another tweet for you.

Hey, it works for those people, so who am to judge "them"?  My judgement is their upper hand control as seen on video and in writing would not work in all male/female relationships, it would not work in mine.

I also notice these successful businesswomen that blocked me from their private Facebook groups don't mind sending me advertisement after advertisement to my email to buy their next product or book. They want money and will take it from me with no hesitation.

Oh no, I'm the black sheep again, darn it...😜

Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie is a relief to me from such confusion.  To learn to agree to disagree with kindness, to put down all thoughts of greatness because of degrees, fame, and fortune, as my self worth and dive deeper into my psyche to find "I am enough" is worth everything to me now.

That's my Sister Code, dig deep, live free, as I respect myself I respect others.

So writing my own book, maybe, just maybe, I'll meet these American women authors one day, maybe not.  One thing I know, I bought a book or online program from all of them and saw some good information in each of them.  Thanks ladies!

I would have liked to follow them on their Facebook adventures but that is not to be.

These women are wonderful people with good hearts and I'm sure they help many people like them. I believe my book will help many women like me that are tired of being told what to do, and are quite independent and disagreeable. 😀

The world needs a "Sister" code, this includes listening to other opinions, and try to understand another viewpoint, it would help to unite all men and women in the world.

Calling all women in America!  We can still agree to disagree without cutting others off because of an differing opinion. There is more than one way to the top of every mountain. Sister code!

You Don't Know The Dangers of Alcohol and Smoke Until...

As a kid you think it's cool to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, and may be even do drugs, after all everyone else is trying it, why not me too?

You see adults smoking, drinking alcohol and it seems the natural thing to do when you grow up, right? It may even be the way to be part of the "cool crowd" the rebels, and who doesn't want to rebel?  That is part of growing up.

The trouble is none of us are taught how dangerous smoking anything, drinking any toxins, alcohol and sugar drinks included damage our developing brains and bodies.

Today scientist and psychologists are speaking out, especially since weed is being considered for legalization everywhere in the USA. Doctors are trying to let us know... legal marijuana in the hands of developing brains (young people) can cause more damage than we knew.  We know now that the human brain is developing into the mid twenties and in this delicate time, the body needs to be kept off all toxins. Why?  Because these toxins can set you up for depression, anxiety, and even mental illness later in life.

No one knows the sensitivity of each person and the bad effects of this, it is so individual.

What? 

So all these years when I thought from observation it was not a good idea to drink socially when young, smoke cigarettes when young, do dope, or marijuana, (by the way I'm no saint,) because of the temporary high you get, I was not aware how much damage this does to our brain long term.

So many of us start this behavior as teens, because we want to be accepted, or we are angry or hurt from our home life and want an escape, even if it is only mentally for a while, we introduce deadly toxins into our body.

The good news is now we know!  We can stop as adults drinking alcohol in our homes while raising children so they will not reach for the bottle or that weed when they are stressed after a day's work. We can be the example.

We can teach exercise, clean eating, healthy family activities together, and meditation that helps everyone improve with age.

You can't teach what you do not know and if your parents drank alcohol and smoked, you suffered  damage from second hand smoke, that does not need to be perpetrated on your children.  If a parent was an alcoholic you suffered emotional damage for sure. When children of alcoholics, that don't drink alcohol, don't get therapy to overcome this damage, they become the same emotionally damaging parents, called, "dry drunks."

It's no longer a matter or good or bad, right or wrong, it's a matter of life long mental health and wellness for you and your children.

Kind of like when I found out you can't give "honey" to a toddler. Scary what we don't know that can kill us or a loved one. Now we know... so we do better. Don't know about the dangers of honey given to an infant? Goggle it!

Thankful to finally know there are scientific reasons not to smoke anything or drink alcohol, introduce NO TOXINS in to the body, especially in the beginning of life through the twenties. As parents we need to set the example and not do either.

Will legalizing marijuana hurt our families, our nation more? Time will tell. At least now we know better.

Fell Into A Tub of Butter of Fire, Again

The art studio is coming into fruition in between working and every day life activities.  Sheetrock up now the taping and compound must be dried and sanded.  A supplemental heat source must be used as the attic studio space is cooler, especially in a February New York winter.

Sweetheart was looking at ugly but functional metal heaters and saying once I buy these you can use these later to keep your studio warm.  What? Me use an ugly functional metal heater in my sacred art space? I think not!  Beauty is my motto in my environment.

I would love to have a real fireplace there as we love our fireplace in the living room and the campfire out back but that was not feasible building a chimney at the other end of the house, not in the budget at this time...so I decided to find an electric fireplace.

The search began on Craigslist as I do not like to buy new unless absolutely necessary.  I am a big believer in reuse, repurpose, and renovate to not buy more and more new things when used things may end up in a landfill, not my way.

Still I looked on Craigslist and did not see one that I really liked, I wanted a real fire look as well as a heater.  I browsed the internet and found one I really, really liked, it was in a antique cherry wood stain cabinet with a realistic fire but alas, it was way out of my budget for the studio just now, but it was the one I preferred for a supplemental heat source.  No bother, I will look on Craigslist and see if I can make a deal on a used one, all is well.

So I begin wheeling and dealing with other electric fireplaces sellers when, on day four of browsing Craigslist, the very, the exact same, electric fireplace I wanted in the antique cherry color cabinet came up for sale at a third of the price, $400.  Quickly I looked on the map and found it was travel time about two hours away south NY.  I would need to rent a truck and would need to get muscle help to lift it. The cabinet and fire unit weighed 200 lbs.

After checking the many rental trucks I see it would cost about $150 to rent truck with mileage. That was well enough but I could not justify the entire price, I know I'm cheap. I like to refer to myself as frugal. So with the truck and the original price of the fireplace on Craigslist it would costs $550, I did not want to spend that now. It never hurts to ask what the seller would take so I text "What is the bottom line price he would sell it for."

My hopes were high but then...no answer.

Did I insult him by asking this? It was a great deal at one third the price, but it was used, and I like to dicker price. Asking for a lower price is always worth a question.

One, two, three, days go by, no answer, so I relax knowing, all is well. After three days I look on Craigslist and it is gone! No longer listed I said, "All is well, it was not meant to be mine. After all it was a good price. I do hope whoever bought it enjoys it."

Then a couple of days later, I'm out in Springfield, MA on business, having lunch at an India Restaurant while watching Korean cake decorating videos on my phone, and I get one text. All it read was [$250.00]

Quickly I look at number and it was the original number of the antique cherry cabinet electric fireplace I wanted!  What! I gave up on that! I text him 5 days ago with no response and here it was...

I replied, "Sold! Thank you when can I pick it up?" "This weekend will do fine after 4 pm."

A new acquaintance, a woman I know that has her own transport and delivery business came to mind, I called her and she offered to do the transport for less than the rental truck and I hired her immediately. We went down that Saturday and I asked Dan, the seller, it was in Craigslist for $400 and then it disappeared, I thought you sold it already. Dan said, "I told my guy to put it in at $250. I wanted to move it out of here. Its been on Craigslist many times over the last two years for $400. I have a guy who lists things in Craigslist for me from my antique and flea market shop, he made a mistake, I did not want it in there for $400."

My luck! I fell into a tub of butter and got my realistic electric fire for the price I wanted, and a little less with the friend's transport!  After many decades of living this life, I have learned when it comes to material things, these simply are not worth stressing over, either you get them or something just as functional and in time, life falls into place. Just roll with it, be very patient, be well, all will work itself out in time or not. Either way, I will be fine and life will be good because I choose it to be so.

Thankful to chillax and know the universe has always had my back and always will, I just need to roll with it.  No need to stress and worry anymore. PS Now Sweetheart will NOT use this in the studio room he is taping and sanding. He does not want to get dust in the beautiful electric heater.  He is using an ugly metal heater for this. 😁 Oh well...

Its taking Me A Lifetime to Understand This, You Don't Have to Wait That long...

Some things you don't need to understand but if you truly try and I mean militantly try to examine everything you "Say about yourself out loud and say to yourself in your head" you may find that 95% of it is not good.

So for the next month, do not say anything out loud that in any way makes you seem weak or out of control of your life. Instead magnify the positives and I'm not talking about narcissistic bragging.


Thankful to know the difference between genuine self love and egotistical narcissistic braggart words that is really self hatred. One is good and the other is not good. Namaste.

Some amazing things will change in your life and relationships.   Try it, wait 30 days and report back.

One Thing Leads To Another, Charles Steinmetz, Charles Gates, & Charles Newton

Years ago I was friend with an eccentric woman, Beatrice Gates, who had no children. I met her through the acquaintance of my parents-in-law. She and her husband had owned a local butcher shop on Rte 144. My mother-in-law went there weekly to get fresh meat for the family. The two ladies got along famously and when the butcher shop closed they remained close friends for years.

Every year on their anniversaries, (the two anniversary dates were close,) each couple took turns every other year, taking the other couple out to dinner. They usually went to Saratoga Springs, NY to the Wishing Well Restaurant.  When Bea's husband, Charles Gates died, I became a close confidant and power of Attorney to Miss Bea and managed her estate until she died.

When she died her wishes were to be cremated, and put into the same grave in the ground of her dear beloved husband, Charles Gates.  The couple were best friends and he died unexpectedly in surgery years before. Bea always regretted having agreed to the surgery and wished he had been left to die on his own time. She thought she would have had him a few years longer.

So unbeknownst to me the grave was in the Vale Cemetery in Schenectady. No one came to her funeral although I called all 75 of her relatives in her personal phone book. No one came. I thought how sad, and I never knew why.  She was a giving, kind, woman who, according to her, gave thousands of dollars to help her relatives in her lifetime, including putting a grand niece through her final medical school year.  The niece faced not being able to finish due to  lack of funds.  Surely this niece would come now that she was a successful doctor but, no, when I contacted her family, she did not come.

My mother-in-law died years earlier than Miss Bea, or she would have attended Bea's funeral. My father-in-law asked if he could go with us since I was taking our own little family to the graveside for the interment. Miss Bea was like a Great-Grandmama to them since they had no grandmother here.  My father-in-law was a graduate engineer from RPI in Troy and he knew of Charles Steinmetz who was buried nearby. After Miss Bea's funeral we looked and found Charles Steinmetz' grave. 

Of course Grandpa John begin to tell the story of the great Charles Steinmetz and his genius with General Electric in Schenectady with Edison.  Wow! Right here with our two friends buried in Vale Cemetery.

Yes, we looked Steinmetz up and found much about this life.  He had suffered from the kyphosis, an abnormal curvature of the upper spine making him a dwarf like creature since birth. It was a congenital deformity both his parents had. Although he loved children and wanted a family he decided not to marry or have children to prevent possibly passing the deformity to his own children. 

He did however build a grand house in Schenectady, N.Y. and in time would have the family he always wanted. He worked long hours with his lab assistant Joseph LeRoy Hayden and in time offered to invite Joseph and his wife, Corrine, to live with him. His wife agreed on two conditions, (1) she could run the household and (2) they would drop whatever they were doing and come to eat when she set the table. Steinmetz agreed. 

In time Steinmetz adopted Joseph, and Joseph's children became his legal grand-children. The children loved their Grandfather and the house was always full of engineering experiments that delighted the children year round. Yes there were gasses and explosives created! 

Steinmetz, became known as the "Wizard of Schenectady," and attracted some of the greatest inventors of the time among these were Nicholas Tesla, Albert Einstein,Thomas Edison and Henry Ford. His home welcomed new ideas involving electricity. It must have been wonderful to be in that house and just listen. 

Steinmetz in his leisure, could be seen floating down the Mohawk River in a canoe scribbling notes as he drifted or riding a bike around town in a suit and top hat. He was among the greatest scientific minds of his century. Yet he was happy with the simple things in life.

So you see, one thing leads to another, a selfless act to carry out the wishes of a lovely older woman introduced us to one o f the great scientists of electricity right here in out back yard, thanks to my dear father-in-law and his great knowledge.  Sure do miss him, he was an interesting man, he was a good man and a fun grandfather with all his intellect and his own experiments he shared with our children. It is always good to have an engineer in the family and yes, when there is an engineer, there will be explosives from time to time. Kids love this! 

Thankful to have had this good woman Bea in my life, thankful to have this good man John as my father-in-law and thankful to have his good son, Charles Newton as my husband. Life is good.