You Know I Can Learn Something from Everyone I Meet

When I was younger and heard this I would say, "No I can't, I don't even approve of everyone, much less like them!  They have nothing to teach me!"

Then I became older and I said, "Yes, I can learn something from everyone..I can learn what NOT to be like!"

Then I had children and life knocked me down a few times and I had to pull myself up again and go on, and I said,"Yes, if I look closely I can learn there is good in every person and everyone knows at least one good thing to teach me if we talk long enough. I cannot possibly know it all or be the only good person in the world with the right answers!"

Now children grown, and moved away, some dreams came true, some did not yet, the main dream, to truly love one man, him to truly love and respect me, and have a fun, loving family, came true.

Now I mind my own business and let others be free to be who they are without my two cents.

I know now, that all people really are good.  Differing opinions does not change that. Thankful to know this now, I just need to remind myself this when I come upon those that don't, yet.

New Mothers Know This...Us Veteran Mothers Have Your Back

When veteran Mothers see new mothers doing their job it makes us smile.  Standing in line to get groceries at a self check out yesterday, a young mother was behind me with three kids, ages I guess, 10, 6, and 4.  As she had each child put their plastic ball or toy on the scanner she asked questions such as, "If your ball is $3 and you have three balls, how much will it costs for all three?"

"Now take turns, slow down," she admonished the next child as he pushed his toy through the scanner without waiting on Mother to give permission for his turn, "Back up" she said, "Now look at the price, how much is four times this price?"

As each child answered correctly she said, "Good, good. You are correct." Immediately I remembered doing this with our three children. Teaching them to read labels, teaching them about how much things costs and how much money will we have left after buying these items, teaches children how to think and figure things out for themselves. I love mothers who take the time to teach not just rush to the next thing to do.

Then I went to the dollar store to find they did not have what I was looking for and saw a mother exiting with her two young children.  They each had a little toy in their hands and I smiled. I remembered the chore list I made our children and when each had finished the chores I gave then a star on the poster board and trip to the dollar store at the end of the week for each to pick out one toy as a reward for a job well done.  This young mother told her kids to wait and hold the door for this lady, (me the older lady) and I told her, "Go ahead of me dear, my children are grown and out of college, if I have anything now it is patience, and you have your arms full with two kids in tow, let me get the door for you all."  I held the door for them as she said, "Thank you, thank you."

Young mothers know this, we vet Mothers have been there, we know the work involved every minute of every day, and we have your back.  Believe me I have no problem speaking up to anyone that criticizes a young mother in public, for...anything including the time she takes to get through a line with kids constantly chattering, or the time she takes with a car door open trying to get each child buckled in, or dealing with a screaming child that will not obey a simple request to move along, by the mother.  I had a voice when I was young and I have a voice for other mothers now.

If you have never raised a child with 'hands on" daily teaching, you do not know what it involves but I will say if you do it right, it takes work.  I am not talking about handing the work off to a daycare worker, babysitter, or au par nanny, or boarding school, to be a stay-at -home Mother, takes more love than you think you can give, more patience than you knew you could have, and more confidence to settle arguments with children and knowing when to teach them it is time to "agree to disagree," and compromise, constantly giving up your strict rules to make peace among the kids.

And on those rare occasion when the disagreements will not be appeased, you put your foot down with your decision, to move on, past disagreements, to a better day. You let children know you are in charge and it makes them feel safe and happy. In time the children thank you for all of this, even if they did not get their way every time. You, the parent has to be in charge of a peaceful home, if you can't decide what needs to be done, then ask your husband, he has great ideas to end the disagreements.  If he is a good father he has logical and reasonable solutions. I saw our boys really understood him. Women do not have all the answers for raising children and diffusing disagreements but you have to ask the men for them to help.

But it takes work, for the Mother and the Dad.  This veteran Mother advises young ones, "Take advice from their father, ask him for advice, men know more than women give them credit for.

Thankful for good mothers who see the value in good fathers, this tends to make good adult children.

A Can-Am Spyder and A BMW Bike

What is it about a ride in the mountains and countryside that makes me get so excited when I see a couple on a motorcycle and trike?  These motorized rides make me think of absolute freedom.  Maybe it is because I'm old enough to remember Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider." The latter part of the sixties and early 70s where my three brothers and boyfriend had motorcycles. My boyfriend and I rode hundreds of miles through the country in NC on our dates.  What freedom and joy to be riding with the sun on your back and the wind in your face going nowhere in particular just having fun being young and free. 

Yesterday was such a beautiful day that I drove up into the mountains around Shawangunk Ridgeway and stopped at a lookout to enjoy the farms, houses, ponds, plowed fields, faraway roads with tiny cars, and most of all the mountain ridge.  I sat there gazing, happy, breathing in the silence and crisp air with such thankfulness to be alive and just be present. The world is so beautiful and the stillness of it's beauty amazes me always.

At a nearby coffee shop I stopped in ot get a latte and there parked were two motorcycles, BMW cycle and a Can-AM trike with a couple strapping on their helmets to ride, I had to see the bikes up closer and meet the couple.  It was Joe and Lynn, married 33 years with two grown kids that were traveling down to Florida on their two week vacation.  They rode up to Nova Scotia together last vacation and this year heading to Florida.  Joe actually waited until the kids were grown to get his motorcycle, a request made by many wives I have known over the years, however Lynn was on a "mercedes benz" of a trike! Now that is not something I see wives get and actually ride alongside her husband in travel.

Joe was a handsome man with A Connecticut accent and was so charismatic and Lynn was a beautiful woman with streaks of purple in her white hair, what fun they two of them must be as parents.  I asked if they planned to retire and bike a round for the rest of their lives and Joe said, "That's my plan, I don't know what she is going to do."

Another couple that understands they have two separate minds and can choose.  I have a notion they will be happily married a long time and I can't know for sure, but if I look into my crystal ball I think Lynn will be riding with Joe into the sunset of their lives. Really great people, I meet great people everyday in my travels.

Thank you Joe and Lynn for letting me see your motorcycles up close and sharing a little time and conversation with me.  You two are wonderful people. Love that Can-Am Spyder, Lynn, I want one.

Empowering All Women

In this age of empowering all women as many successful women claim, there is a very evident division.  If a woman does not fully agree with the belief system of another woman, that woman is deemed to be OUT.

I have recently decided if I am following anyone on any media and they ask me to comment, to give feedback, I will not bother.  I see that if you applaud and agree, you get a minimal thumbs up. No actual words to engage in a mutual conversation.

But..

If  you offer an alternative thought for discussion from the narrative that was promoted you get blocked, dropped, no engagement, no thumbs up, no discussion.  Three different women now. I have followed for years and never gave any real feedback, just a thank you, thumbs up.  They ask again and again for comments so recently I gave my feedback. This feedback was a thoughtful response, not just an applause, or another comment of "I needed that today, thank you..." I was not given a thumbs up or any feedback from these "leaders." Now I have three women that I no longer see their posts on my timeline.  This is embracing all women in sisterhood?

Now when it comes to empowering all women as they claim to want to do, I see it is only possible if you agree with their stance.  All other perspectives are not tolerated!

The song that a famous artist sings has  a line in it, "Who runs the world? Girls!"

With these "adult girl" attitudes that will not likely happen anytime soon.  This kind of monarchy of thought does not make the world peaceful or promote unity.  Agree to disagree is a fundamental need to include others in any narrative and achieve peaceful existence with others.  We are not disagreeing over violence, just a different perspective on dealing with life situations.

Thankful to have a backyard in the woods, tea to sip, turkeys, deer, birds, fox, and bears to enjoy. Sometimes you gotta step away and just be present.  Nothing to defend, I can be quiet, too, so I write.

The Black Sheep of The Family

Every family has one. You know the one that follows a different path of thinking and living.  The one that no one can relate to, the one that follows the distant beat of a faraway drum.  That person is not angry, mean, or criminal, just different.  Angry, confused, people do harm to themselves or others, this is NOT the black sheep. The black sheep is different in a good way.

The black sheep does not want to do things the way it has always been done, does not want tradition, does not behave the way expected, has plenty of new ideas and wants to implement these ideas. The black sheep does not need to be understood, the black sheep just needs to be accepted, supported, and loved. All will turn out alright in time.

Frightening when you give birth to one of these. I was called the black sheep in my family. My husband was the black sheep in his family. We gave birth to three black sheep children as different as any siblings could be, so we support, accept, and love each knowing in time all will be well.

Thankful to know how to treat black sheep from our own experience. I love black sheep.

My Dangerous Enlightened Ego

This has occurred to me as I began studying ego and the dissolution of my own.  There is much freedom in knowing the power of just being present without identity.  I can become so peaceful and joyful in everyday life that when I am faced with another who is angry, complaining, controlling, trying to exert their control anywhere near me, I tend to say,"Wow, they have a long way to go to find the peace available to them."  I get so thankful I am not that blinded anymore. I was "totally" blind before, don't get me wrong. But my own severe mental pain made me find a light out of my bottomless pit of dark tunnel vision and despair. I don't want to complain and be a victim anymore.

Thankful to see this but I am careful to keep my ego, out of it.  To see myself as enlightened is to be superior to others and this is something I do not like, anyone thinking they are above or below another.  A constant practice this "awareness," keeps my life beautiful everywhere I look.

 

Don't Set up the Target and You Won't Get Hit

To stay out of an argument with an enraged person is best.  A debate, not heated, is valuable to learn from one another and can be very enlightened for each if we listen.  You can see an example of these  by listening to congressional hearings.  The congressperson who listens with an ear to understand will not attack the other with a lists of why they are right and the other is wrong.  When you hear a congress person ask questions to see more clearly what the other is seeking and what remedy is sought, you begin to see the grounds for unity.

There is a difference between hearing and listening. Everyone has the right to be heard, and in congress they evidently have made it okay to disrespect one another when they disagree.  This is another reason we need new elected officials.  We need people who respect differing opinions and talk without pointing fingers.  As soon as you throw back fighting words, you are a target for more arrows. Angry people don't resolve conflicts, they start wars.

In everyday life we meet difficult people who have to control everything, it has to be their way. Their way is self serving and benefits one, the difficult one.  The only way around this difficult, self centered one, is to NOT engage in the fight. You cannot be a target if you are not involved physically, verbally, or emotionally. The arrows of anger may fly but these will not hit you.

Thankful to learn to keep my safe space by not interacting with people who live in hurt and anger the majority of their life. There are actually people who move past this and live very successful peaceful lives.  I want to know more of these and less of the others.  Life is too short to not be surrounded by peace most of your life.  This is probably why I prefer animals and nature to people. In nature "Loving what is" because there is no other choice but to accept.