"Now take turns, slow down," she admonished the next child as he pushed his toy through the scanner without waiting on Mother to give permission for his turn, "Back up" she said, "Now look at the price, how much is four times this price?"
As each child answered correctly she said, "Good, good. You are correct." Immediately I remembered doing this with our three children. Teaching them to read labels, teaching them about how much things costs and how much money will we have left after buying these items, teaches children how to think and figure things out for themselves. I love mothers who take the time to teach not just rush to the next thing to do.
Then I went to the dollar store to find they did not have what I was looking for and saw a mother exiting with her two young children. They each had a little toy in their hands and I smiled. I remembered the chore list I made our children and when each had finished the chores I gave then a star on the poster board and trip to the dollar store at the end of the week for each to pick out one toy as a reward for a job well done. This young mother told her kids to wait and hold the door for this lady, (me the older lady) and I told her, "Go ahead of me dear, my children are grown and out of college, if I have anything now it is patience, and you have your arms full with two kids in tow, let me get the door for you all." I held the door for them as she said, "Thank you, thank you."
Young mothers know this, we vet Mothers have been there, we know the work involved every minute of every day, and we have your back. Believe me I have no problem speaking up to anyone that criticizes a young mother in public, for...anything including the time she takes to get through a line with kids constantly chattering, or the time she takes with a car door open trying to get each child buckled in, or dealing with a screaming child that will not obey a simple request to move along, by the mother. I had a voice when I was young and I have a voice for other mothers now.
If you have never raised a child with 'hands on" daily teaching, you do not know what it involves but I will say if you do it right, it takes work. I am not talking about handing the work off to a daycare worker, babysitter, or au par nanny, or boarding school, to be a stay-at -home Mother, takes more love than you think you can give, more patience than you knew you could have, and more confidence to settle arguments with children and knowing when to teach them it is time to "agree to disagree," and compromise, constantly giving up your strict rules to make peace among the kids.
And on those rare occasion when the disagreements will not be appeased, you put your foot down with your decision, to move on, past disagreements, to a better day. You let children know you are in charge and it makes them feel safe and happy. In time the children thank you for all of this, even if they did not get their way every time. You, the parent has to be in charge of a peaceful home, if you can't decide what needs to be done, then ask your husband, he has great ideas to end the disagreements. If he is a good father he has logical and reasonable solutions. I saw our boys really understood him. Women do not have all the answers for raising children and diffusing disagreements but you have to ask the men for them to help.
But it takes work, for the Mother and the Dad. This veteran Mother advises young ones, "Take advice from their father, ask him for advice, men know more than women give them credit for.
Thankful for good mothers who see the value in good fathers, this tends to make good adult children.
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