When Your Motivations Shift, So Do Your Behaviors

Every action we take is based on a thought of why.

If your motivations are love, your actions will be peaceful, first for you and then others.

If your motivation is resentment, or jealousy, your actions will be punitive and violent.

What is it to be a loving person without being a doormat?  It is to know your boundaries. Peaceful actions that promote inner harmony and to have personal boundaries that prevent fear from taking the path off course.

This line between order and chaos is the line we all strive to tightrope walk. It is the motivation to creating beneficial peaceful behavior.  When we find this line, we calm down, we have patience knowing life is molding into form our place in the world. We come to see we are all one, a part of the human race.  No greater or lesser than anyone on earth.  Anger has its place, and it is not anger's place to take up permanent residence in your mind, if it does, it can cause bodily harm, stress, sickness, ongoing anxiety.

Anger is a call to action.

Anger is a wake up, a call to change, what change? You decide.  This one thing for sure, the change has to be examined, is it you that needs to change or you that needs to bring the call to change to the attention of others?

Whichever you decide it is, the motivation for the change that will determine the behavior you display. Remember you can catch more flies with honey, than vinegar. Now proceed if your motivation is for positive change, proceed in peace.

Thankful to be learning to watch my words and how I say them, I may never be perfect but at least I'm becoming aware. I want peace on earth.  It begins inside my mind. It is a daily endeavor.

Sometimes I Have Nothing to Offer But One Commandment

In discussing another book with my son I told him how very much I admire this guy but that if we were to be friends, it cannot happen because I have nothing to offer the guy.

He writes well, he speaks well, and I agree with most of his viewpoints but to be in a productive and expansive conversation with him...I got nothing.

He was a university professor and journalist that traveled the world and has read so many more books than me, he was stuffing his head with books and career while I was changing diapers and running a taxi service to dance and baseball fields for 20 years.

I was thinking and I was reading too but I came to the same conclusions without all his research and travel, basic truths are like that...universally known through the ages can be revealed to all that search.

But friendship? I don't see it. Being a student of his lectures, yeah.  Thanks to technology, I can do that on You Tube now that he is deceased.

But I'm just saying, I know my limits and with this guy?  I have nothing to offer. He is not my job to convert him or make him see anything my way. He is kind and anti-atheist, his word.

I would sign his petition should he have had one to change the ten commandment to include:

1) Thou shalt not harm children.

Why is this not in there?

And here's one of mine to add:

2) Thou shalt not have any other wife before or after me, no polygamy.

Yeah let's start with those two and see the world become a better place today.

I Had To Walk Out of A Comedy Club Last Night

We love to see comedians and go to a comedy club from time to time for some chuckles. Last night we saw a new comedian advertised as a favorite on Comedy Central.

He was funny enough at first than he went on and on about how marriage starts out good then goes south, south, south, south, to the point I felt his deep pain over his divorce after 26 years but he would not let it go.  There were many new couples in the crowded room, the room was full in this huge comedy club venue.

I waited hoping he would would move on but he would not. Finally after an hour of his self destructive remarks (He looked and sounded drunk on stage) and horrible recollections of 26 years of marriage to this woman he loved, I had to walk out.

I came to laugh but not at his misery.  I understand comedians draw from their life experience but this was dismal, he was hurting like it happened to day.  Sad.

It amazes me how people that come from failed relationships now proclaim to be experts and now feel qualified to counsel the new couples in the room.  Failed marriage does not make you wise about what works, failed makes you knowledgeable about what did not work for you. As he told story after story of good times he had getting drunk with friends, being on the road with comedy tours, etc. and then when he returned home how his wife expressed life was hard raising their two children without him around and then they go out on a date, she got drunk and became sexually seductive but verbally abusive towards him... the more obvious advice might be...

Here's a big hint! Start with not using alcohol for good times and bad, rather marry a strong independent woman that understands you are gone with a career that demands it. This is basic but it might work...it's worth a try. Of course this means you have to see a real therapist to get help to work out why you both drink, but it's worth a try.

My entire life has been studying to get in control of my mind, thoughts, and actions. It is not easy but can be done.  I do feel sad for this guy but I had to walk out. I empathize with his pain. But his life is none of my business, he has to do this own work to change his life. It is not my business to do his work for him.  Someone this famous knows about therapy and when his pain is great enough, he will go for help. I just hope he gets it before he enters into another dysfunctional relationship.  He is so young, 56, to be so bitter.  Otherwise seems like a nice man.

Talk about taking your personal life to work, I guess comedians have to but not on my time this night.

May I suggest Eckhart Tolle and www.thework.com by Byron Katie Mitchell for a beginning and maybe throw in some Pema Chodron and Dalai Lama lectures as it is clear his Catholicism is not helping at all.

The good news, there was a local woman from Delmar that opened for him and she was hilarious, A lawyer by trade, she certainly had the timing, the delivery, and the creativity to really make us laugh. If she was headlining, I would pay to see her.  Her name was "Dray."  Yes, more of this clean laughter.  It was good to get out with my Sweetheart and I will pray for the other guy and for Dray's success!

Back to writing my book. Namaste.

You Can Subdue An Education to A Youngster's Mind, But You Can't Stop Technology

In reading that Google and other techie companies are being "bought" by foreign sovereignty to stop free information from coming into their countries. The only way to keep any mind in a prison is to brainwash a child, withhold information and truth. A child has no outside point of reference except the one the family, the culture, the religion, and the government gives them.  Yikes! This includes religions, all of them.

When you read books in print that have not been revised by an enemy of the book you get a closer look at the truth of any religion, culture, or government.  When you read many books on the same subject you get a clearer view of the inner thinking of the people involved.

And so I read. When I read I see my own bias, (That was ingrained in me when very young, birth to seven years old in particular) for this was the age all of us were brainwashed most.  The ages 0-7 years old, we were taking in more information than a computer.  It is not until we developed cognitive thinking, (Which science is finding is developed up through 25-30 years old) that we begin to depart from thoughts we were taught that do not make reasonable sense.

This questioning AND experience brings us closer to all truth. The bottom line is the most important activity any of us were ever taught was HOW TO READ.  Public school taught me this best.  The love of truth came from my father, the will to continue to fight my own mind to find it came from myself.  The care for all people regardless of color came from my mother.

In the end we all have to make peace with self, society, family, or we will not choose to make peace with these.  We will decide at some point how to handle this for our survival. 

When the pain inside is great enough, we have a "Why."  Then and only then will we find a way to change.  The "How" will come to mind. My pain was great, I had migraines, insane thoughts, resentment and arrogance, but it took me a deeper look inside to discover my remedy.  The journey within came from getting outside information, new information, and unlearning most of what I was taught as a child.  My core values were good, that came from my parents, but the lack of "How to live life with love for myself and all others" was very confusing causing me to self-destruct until I stopped.

So I am thankful for technology that will bring outside information to countries, to governments, to the subjects of royalty that is causing the people to live in poverty and fear.  In time the people will know what they don't know and find the "How" to inner peace that will spread outward to the world.   

No more brainwashing children and people of the world by preventing information to be available to them. Those that are motivated first, by self interest, greed, power, titles, and position will always cause harm to others. The Bible calls these individuals, “Drunk with power.” Although I am not religious I like the expressions in the Bible to describe some human characteristics.  Peace has boundaries to prevent a violent society, a government, a family, individual or religion that does not promote safety and freedom for individuals.  But the only peace that truly lasts is inside of you. This peace can never be taken away. If peace is to be, it begins with me.

Try This Next Gift Giving Occasion, It Benefits All

This last year has been a year of decluttering my life of things and people that serve no positive purpose in my life.  You know the ones you feel obligated to but don't give back to you?  Not just speaking of material gifts, these are good, but reciprocate in thought and conversation both ways, not just a conversation about them.  In the process of realizing I can surround my life with positive, uplifting, centered people, moving forward in thought and action, I released a pressure in my mind.

As I released this pressure I found letting go of many, many, objects in the house, including excess glasses, pot, pans, dolls, art supplies, crafts, furniture, etc. freed me of the heaviness of a cluttered environment. 

The laugh was on me when I also found Christmas gifts I bought for others but never sent to my family, so I wrapped these and sent them off this year.  When I shared this action with my friends, on New Year's Eve some of my guests showed up with their own recycled gifts for me!  It was hilarious. The guest openly told me this was theirs and they never use it and thought I would like it!  And I did! We laughed and laughed as each recycled item was presented.

Our own son made me laugh out loud when he wrapped my lost Nook tablet and gave it to me.  His gift? He found it! 

Gotta love this family, heart and laughter was our gift to each other with friends and good food this holiday season. Thankful for a great family and friends to share holidays with, always thankful to continue to grow and change for the better. Life is good and getting better every day.

Things That Make you Nervous and Anxious are Things You Have not Mastered...Yet

Life throws situations at us all we are not prepared for. Your parents simply cannot, no matter how good they are, prepare you for everything in life that could happen to you.  Parents can't make your friends, or your decisions of how to handle every problem that arises in your life, nor should they.  You have a brain and a heart you can figure it out without others telling you what to do.

You will make bad decisions, we all do, it is part of the human experience. You will make good decisions, this is part of the human experience. Fortunately the good ones should make an impression on each of us that will reinforce the good with a repeat of those actions. If the results of your choices both good and bad do not teach you the lesson you need to learn, these lessons will be repeated until learned.  Choose to learn from the good and bad as soon as possible.

When you are anxious and afraid to think for yourself, you will look to others to copy how they deal with your problems because you were not taught to think for yourself or that you can think and make the right choice to deal with your problem.  Who will you copy?  Will you choose to escape feeling anxious by using alcohol, food, spending money, taking drugs and other addictions of choice?  Will you look to exchange your lack of self introspect which leads to a more permanent solution, for  the feel good momentarily fix of selfish pleasures/a mental sedation to put the anxiety on the shelf to deal with another day?

And you will deal with it another day until you "Master" your perspective and actions. The question is how much damage will you do to yourself and others while you continue to be nervous and anxious again and gain without finding your inner peace? 

The treasure hunt for correct answers can always be measured by your outcome.  If outcome is peace of mind and unity, you have chosen wisely grasshopper.  I may have been a bee, a butterfly, a grasshopper, but this I know for sure I am forever transforming into a kinder person.  This, brings me peace of mind.  It helps if you started out with basic kind rules, hopefully taught to you through your family and church... but if your family and religion is angry and warlike, you will need to find it on your own.  You can do this no matter where you live in the world, it is as close as your silent thoughts.

Thankful to know I can do this, many are finding this peaceful mind and actions. The world is becoming a more unified place. I meet these good people every day.  People who know how to think for themselves, look within and willing to change without blaming others anymore.  It is easier than I knew to find answers, the hard part is changing my stubborn defensive self.  I knew I was as stubborn and defensive as anyone, but I'm getting closer to inner peace everyday. It is a life long pursuit I invite and enjoy.  What will you choose?  Your choices will be known by the outcomes you see in your life.  When you master each problem as it arises, you will find more peace each and every day.

Life is fun, enjoyable, and beautiful but only if you truly make it so without denial of what is.

If you Talk A Lot About A Subject That Educates YOU, You May Be A ...

Teacher of that subject.

If you talk a lot about yourself without curiosity, or others with contempt, you may be a braggart or a gossip, both a bore in conversation. Choose what you speak about with open heart and open mind then listen. Assume everyone knows more than you, because... they do if you listen long enough.

If someone does not find 'your interesting subject' interesting, find your group, there are people who get you, love you, and want to talk with you about subjects you are interested in, find them, these are your true friends. Don't try to force a friendship with any person(s) that does not want your knowledge or interests.

Everyone fits in somewhere, find your friends."Speak your loving truth, enjoy your life"

Allow that others are free to live their life too, even if you don't agree to be part of it. Always choose peace, you will know it by the outcome of actions, both yours and other people. Choose peace every moment until it becomes a habit. Life gets easier every decade as we choose to agree to disagree with peace. You are not alone, find your group, they are closer than you think.

Thankful to find peace with imperfection, me. The beginning of knowledge was to discover, no matter how much I know, I can never know it all, no one can, it is not possible. Wow, I discovered this on my own and Socrates discovered this too, many years ago!