Peace, peace, “Everything happens for you not to you.” I just finished writing a blog and I do not
know how but with a slip on the keys I deleted the entire article. So I begin again with no stress or sense of
loss as I realize to think any other way is wasted energy. It worked now
hopefully I can get there quickly another day too. Thank you Eckhart for this
teaching.
I was writing about how I do not make decisions quickly
concerning big life changes or spending big money. No matter how sure I am at the “moment” that
I need to absolutely do this, I don’t! I go home and think about
it. Many times I sleep on it. I believe if it is meant to be, it will be there
tomorrow, if not, no big deal. I’ll find something better.
I research everything.
I am not easily influenced by anyone or anything. I’m stubborn like
that, and I think stubborn is a good quality.
If I am not convinced I have all the facts to make an informed decision
I will not make it. If I let someone I
love and trust help me make a decision, there is much, much talk. I still may go with my own decision, I always
do. Probably this characteristic is why
I like Byron Katie Mitchell’s teachings of “Loving What Is.” She makes everyone wake up to the fact that
you are responsible for what you think and do at all times. To believe anything else is madness.
It is
your life and in this country, you are free to live on your terms as long as you
don’t harm anyone.
One of my core beliefs I developed as an adult is that my
life is my own.
When I was young I did not know this, too many outside sources
influenced me, wrongly. I did not know who I was yet. The Bible told me I was a sinner, turns out I am not. Society told me the rules to being a wife, mother, and woman, turns out I make my own rules about this now.
So I learned to trust myself. I read books, studied motivational seminars,
listen to the news and decided for myself what I thought. I learned to know my
mind and all of us eventually know right from wrong, we have consequences of
bad choices and a conscious. When I know
someone is harmful, unsupportive of me, uninterested in my opinions, I know they are not conducive to my well being, I steer clear of
being in their presence. There are good people out here, you will find them.
I also have a core belief that I deserve to be
loved and respected because I give that to everyone I meet. I respect myself
now. I would never abide anyone hitting
me, neither would I hit anyone else in a relationship of love. Not even one hit, I would have them arrested
no hesitation. Some women say, “If he
hits you once it’s only a matter of time before he’ll do it again.” I would not wait for the second time. One
strike, you are out, life is too short for this. I would not abide anyone beating a child or animal either.
There are many men and women in
this world that are friendly and loving. We can find them, they are not hiding.
I have been many places by myself and my mother ask, “Aren’t
you afraid?’ I say. “No because I trust
me.” I trust me, I know that in whatever
situation I am in, I will land on my feet, I can handle it. But I will be
wise. You know what feels right, do
that. And if you are not sure do this...
Ask yourself when making any decision, “Do
I feel contracted doing that, or expanded doing that?” Translation, contracted means NO, expanded
means YES. That’s your good heart talking to you, trust it. Go with it. Live by your good core beliefs, it is your life.
I knew an older woman that I helped in her final years because
she had no husband or children. I became
her power of attorney and managed her affairs from her home to the nursing home
and burial. She referred to herself as a 'Black Protestant,' and she loved life,
marriage, and men. She was a good woman who never cussed and she gave money to everyone that asked her for it.
She told me once, “The only difference between me and you,
is I am older and I don’t give a damn what people think of me, I speak my mind.”
She knew herself, she knew she was good, she knew she was kind hearted and open
to loving everyone. I loved her and she
loved me.
And, “No.” If you
are wondering, this is not the article I was writing before, when I write,
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