What If This IS It? Put your Pencils down

I was driving home after a long day in the evening.  As I looked at the road I caught a glimpse of my right eye in the rear view mirror.

I thought,"What if this is it?

My eye reminded me in the brief moment I saw it of me when I was 20 years old.  Yes I have the same eyes.  In the dark as my mind drifted to thoughts of the warm home waiting for me with a dear husband there to welcome me and ask about my day, I thought...

What if there is no afterlife?  What if there absolutely is not another life to try again?  No reincarnation, no return of any savior, just lights out.

I really got into this thought, I really felt what it is to be completely present not knowing anything else.  Years have rolled by into decades so quickly.  What would I do different tonight and every moment from here on if I knew there was no other chance of doing anything else but what I have done or will do.  Will I do more?  For sure put anger down, cannot carry this, too heavy.

What is there to be angry about? What more can I offer to heal any situation out of my control other than be peaceful, knowing time will pass, events will change with or without me.