The first clue I see in anything I read or hear as being dangerous to completely believe is this
phrase, "This is the only way” or "This is the best..." I
have come to see that for anyone to claim this is to judge that any other way
is not viable or good. This cannot be true. I'll tell you why.
The KJV of the
Bible teaches homosexuality is wrong. Many Christians believe that this Bible
is "the only truth." Christians have brainwashed themselves to
believe "the only way to God is through confessing JC as your lord and
savior."
But... I had a
baby. I was so in love with this little fellow that I knew nothing in
heaven or earth would ever separate me from the love I have for him. As I
held this precious little human in my arms, I began to create scenarios of life
to see if I could see any scenario that I would not love him, disown him, or
not try to help him, I could not find one. If I could love my son if he
told me he was gay, how could God not love him too? I am not greater than
God. The KJV is not "the only truth." (Has to be faulty because it
was written by humans)
In books that
Harvard Grads, scientists like Einstein, doctors like Dr. Dyer write, or Gandhi,
Sister Teresa, the Pope, everyone gets caught up in the degrees, the
universities, the position of power, worldly accomplishments, we tend to
believe everything they write or say, but this is not necessary to find your
own path of peace. They do not have "the only way." We are as
great as each of these people with or without the titles and accomplishments or
books they write.
Sometimes when I
hear another story of all the great sacrifice and travel to another spiritual
teacher to find their peace, it exhausts me. Some of these intellectuals travel
for years, spend lots of money, work hard to get another degree, spend hours in
silence, go without food, to find their peace when it is as close as a thought.
Intellectuals are wonderful to have conversations with, I learn so much from
them, however, except for memorizing history from other books they study, they
regurgitate their version of what has already been written or found as truth.
"Nothing new under the sun."
Some have such a
complicated road back from addictions and violence that we all "need
not" follow their path. Their path is not "the only way."
Some of their path is so complicated and unnatural, that they lose sight
of just being present in the moment in a feeling of acceptance. Truth is
simple. To seek the truth is simple when you have patience to seek it,
and decide not to be self-destructive with addictions in the pursuit of it.
Separation of our
self, believing we are a separate being such as "Body and Soul" is
another way of dividing us one from another. To see yourself as a whole,
not separate, but to realize we do things that are harmful to our self and
others would naturally lead us to examining our thoughts. Thoughts lead
to actions, actions lead to outcomes. The outcomes tell us if we are on
the right road or need to get new information to travel another road. If we
keep trying until we achieve the success we seek, we will learn how to get
there. Many roads to the
top of the mountain, at the top is the same truth.
The book I just
finished The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, has its own
definition of friendship and teaches marriage is not a friendship. It should be
a commitment to a "spiritual partnership" or it will not last. A
friendship says he, "Is to make you feel good, not honest feedback."
That is why he believes most marriages fail.
Ok I hear you
Gary, but I have often said, "I do not have a lot of friends because friends are sacred to me. A friend is someone who
will be with you through good times and bad. A friend is someone who will
always be there no matter what, help you get on the right track when you are
off it, never give up on you. A friend celebrates your successes and
holds your hand when you fail, a friend loves to spend time with you every
chance they get. A friend to me is a rare thing. If you have one in this life
you are lucky, to find two is a miracle” ~LMS
Acquaintances are
people you hang out with at a party, dance with for fun at a lounge/bar, go out
to eat with you for jokes and meaningless conversations that entertain but go nowhere.
Acquaintances travel on tour boats together, go to concerts with you,
play golf with you, go to sporting events, drink beer with you on Superbowl
Sunday, acquaintances can be fun short term but a FRIEND is something special
to me. I do not have many friends but I have many acquaintances. Good
folks these acquaintances, needed for good times but unreliable in bad times.
Acquaintances can suck the life out of you if you do not set boundaries.
These people are affectionately known as "Psychic Vampires."
Beware their bite! You may be unhappy if you marry one.
I have learned
that I have been a "friend" to acquaintances and those people did not
last long in my life. I thought we have been through good times and bad
times, I helped every way I can only to find when they no longer needed my
help, and they never contacted me again. This made me sad. After years of
experiencing helping others, I see I need to set boundaries with acquaintances.
But to do this I have to define what an acquaintance looks like.
There are people unlike me who will use anyone to get what they want.
These are so afraid they cannot help themselves that they leaned on me
and I gave too much at times.
I am not saying I
would not help an acquaintance I am saying I would not put my emotional
expectations on such a person for that person cannot or will not reciprocate
the same to me.
Back to this book...To
disagree with this Harvard grad, oh my! I married my best friend. I did
not marry him to complete me, I knew no one can do that long before that Jerry
McGuire movie was made. That line in the movie made me and others gag
when we heard it. Hollywood movies do not define the public's morals even
though Hollywood may think so.
Yes there are many
of us that think for ourselves, do not need to go to another spiritual retreat
to hear the truth. We do not need to discuss in great detail how to
communicate to the one we love and define our relationship with a therapist.
Thank God, if life were that complicated to all of us we all could not
find the truth.
So to books
written by these complicated intellectuals I say, thank goodness you found your
release from your destructive behaviors, and may your book help others such
as you, but for me, I do not need explanations of reincarnation or karma to
live a good life. I do not need to see animals going extinct as a way of
telling humans to care for the environment. I see I want to take care of the
planet and be a peaceful person that cares and helps when I can because I have
a good conscious and want to. So do many of us.
Some people cannot
find their way without a therapist on speed dial, a
specific road map, another seminar, another religious guru, another spiritual
experience, another therapist session, another book to define every detail of
their relationship and what a good one looks like and a bad one looks like. So
afraid of just living taking the good, the bad, the ugly, and finding the
silver lining of learning in every situation, being patient.
My way is not
"the only way," my way is to believe you will find your way to peace
in your time in your way. I found mine through reading many books and deciding
for myself what truth leads me to my inner peace. One theme throughout the
discovery of truth for everyone seems to be a situation that we discover is
bad, and we are completely out of control of it. It's called "surrender."
I surrendered without outward addictions, my addiction was automatic negative
thinking. I'm still working on it... Namaste.
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