Children, when born and the first few years 6 or 7 are so innocent in understanding and give allegiance to anyone, even someone that is cruel or neglects them.
This innocence is good when you are young, it protects you when you have no choice, it is not good when you get older and know kindness from violence.
Where did we learn to love someone means you forgive them again and again and stay with them when they treat you badly again and again? Religion? Society? Culture? Tradition?
We have to unlearn this... to be loving to one's self we must see reality.
We have to learn that there are good loving people in the world like us. No one is perfect but someone will be kind and helpful to you 24/7, wait for this person.
Someone is waiting for you too. Someone is looking for you.
Love is kindness, not putting up with being treated badly was wise on my part. He not putting up with me treating him badly was wise of him. We learn to set boundaries so we both respected each other.
Face it we learn our bad behaviors in a "loving" relationship from our dysfunctional family and environments. There is much "unlearning to be done" if we are to "learn" good behaviors for the first time in our present relationship.
Do not concern yourself with leaving that angry person who is unkind to you or worry that he/she will be lonely... that person will find another abusive partner. Sleepwalkers. You can spot these people because they want to harm or control anyone that does not think like them.
I do not want to be among the sleepwalkers. So I practice presence and waking up daily. (Eckhart Tolle The Power Of NOW) This is a lifetime journey for me to become awake and stay awake.
It is not easy to unlearn harmful behaviors but you can do it. When you stop harming yourself, you stop harming others, and you do not let others harm you. Do it, choose to be kind to yourself.
Agree to disagree without name calling, shaming another, and losing faith. All will be well.
Go find your kind mate/friend and live happy. "The Universe is a friendly place." ~ Byron Katie
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