Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Let Our Existence Be a Rebellion

Stories of family dynamics fascinate me.  As revealed in my earlier posts I came from a family that had low expectations and little self-esteem.  The result was kids that could not wait to leave home. We kids ran amuck blindly in the world trying to find a way to fit in this chaotic world.  None of us knew anything but Bible verses that did not give clarity to our young minds.  So we sinned, damnation and hell fire were not enough to stop us.  And we paid the price of those decisions.

Now another family dynamic I know of, did not let up on the children until the children did what Mom and Dad accomplished or asked.  Go to the same college, go into the military, practice that violin 4-6 hours a day, become a dentist, a doctor, a lawyer, something with prestige and status that all the world and the family will be proud of, climb a mountain, do something "ordinary people don't do," climb Mt. Everest, (That is a mountain to be proud of) and if you don't...you are not worthy of your culture, heritage, religion, family, expectations.  You are not worth celebrating. 

Wow which would I choose of the two extremes?  Some of us don't get to choose, most don't.  We are brainwashed in every environment we are raised in and we learn self-image early, good or bad, pressured or unsupervised, we learn. We can't choose, it is what it is to a child.

What this thinking does not teach you is that when you value only the degrees and accomplishments of yourself and others, you judge others as well.  The people I admire are people who have accomplished many things stage, any degree, certification, homemaker, policeman, gas station attendant, cashiers, retail, artist, nurses, receptionist, hostess, maintenance engineer, teacher, business owners, etc. and found their niche/happiness and in the process... 

That all persons as equally important in their duties, we are one.

People, all people, I have loved them since I was born. I truly see everyone as a good acquaintance and welcome their influence on me until their actions prove otherwise.  Then I set boundaries.  I don't judge them as unnecessary, I judge that we have nothing to offer one another, if common ground of respect of differences and an eagerness to learn from one another is not there, I am wasting my time and theirs. Angry, yelling, threatening people seeing no good in others whatsoever are not productive and interest me the least. I'm so tired of being angry, I want peace. It starts with me.

Time cannot be replaced, who I spend my time with can.  It takes a long internal examination of both of us for me to become friends with someone.  Friends are sacred to me.

I love and respect children. They have no preconceived ideas of anger or bitterness, no baggage yet, so eager to learn science and how things work, so easily entertained with play dough and paints. Kids get so amazed at a high light marker, (Me too).  Their simplicity of wonder needs to be preserved for their lifetime, to unplug and play as an adult is such a wonderful thing.  It can make you happy, it can give you a mini-vacation in your hectic day.  I still spin around in an office chair when no one is looking.  😁  

Pressure to perform, pressure from family to perform, pressure to carry on traditions/rituals you don't agree with or enjoy, pressure to be responsible is "no freedom" or "fun." 

To perform because you choose to perform, to be responsible because you love others and you choose to take care because you enjoy having a significant other and friends that support your endeavors and fun activities together...Priceless!  You choose, pressure gone, this is nice!

If your goal is to be happy and in a healthy relationship it is available to us all. You don't need to analyze everything to death to prove you are wrong or right, you need to relax.  When you truly love someone, see things from their point of view.  Sleep on it.  Take up the discussion with renewed thinking after a meal, a good night's rest, smoke a peace pipe, go for a walk, unplug, see your life in the bigger picture, see the other person's life in a bigger picture, choose to agree to disagree. You don't need lofty accomplishments or another seminar, (Maybe YOU do), you need a heart and confidence that to be you is enough and to be the other person is enough for him/her too.  YouTube seminars and videos are free, books are free, and we can take advantage of these for free. You don’t need money to become educated, peace loving or free in your mind, you need only a desire to achieve the peace you seek.

An angry relative called me, "A simpleton" once because I did not feed into his rage.  What he was not aware of is this; I see his rage, and raise him two kindnesses, to unplug from angry situations the world of war and constant argument is my way.  “Defense is the first act of war” ~ Byron Katie.  I want peace. To have peace does not mean you let someone walk all over you. But that is another blog another day...




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