"I Refuse To Join Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member!'

The generation before ours, I think they're called grandparents, would be familiar with Groucho Marx and his shenanigans and funny one liners, this is one of them. I long ago gave up on joining groups of any kind because I was sure to disappoint someone in the group, not me, but someone who would through conversations let me know I was not living up to the expectations of the group.

First time I really noticed it was in church as a child.  I did not believe in things through blind faith and when questioned by the minister, "Why? You must! First yo believe and then you see." I answered, "I've believed a long time, ever since I was born and I'm not seeing results, so I quit this church, unless you can provide proof."  He admitted he could not, so I quit that church. I disappointed my mother.

Then I joined a Biblical Research Ministry for 14 years and although I went against the tide often and was reprimanded often, I hung in there all the way to the top.  When my husband was commanded to get me under control, he exclaimed, "Why? I married her because she was out of control! I like it."  The top proved to be dishonest and deceitful.  Leaders knowingly were lying to the people, I was unfortunate enough to speak of the lies to leaders, thinking naively that they wanted to change if they knew, and they wanted me to hush up. I did not, we left that ministry.

I tried to join a coffee meet and greet when I moved here and the women complained and spoke of the trouble with men.  I tire of this frivolous convo and left this Delmar group. I actually like men a lot.

I joined an art group that had art teachers to teach technique from time to time at the meetings. Although I enjoyed learning new techniques I always went to my natural instincts as an artist and finished the piece that looked nothing like the intended project.  When my teacher asked me to sand the entire piece down and begin again, I refused.  Other students wanted the teacher to teach them how to do the piece like mine, the teacher responded,"That is natural talent, I can't teach that."  I left that group.

Children came and I tried to socialize with mothers of children the same age as my youngest, now that the older two were in kindergarten and first grade. I had a few hours and thought a gym with toddlers would be fun for our littlest guy.  He had lots of energy. I though a gym would be a good place for him to run it out while we played together. The exercise play class was "Mommy & Me."  After three classes the teacher pulled me aside and said she was elected the spokesperson of the Delmar group and told me, "The other mothers do not like that you let your son run around the track without holding your hand like we do, and he is distracting to the other mothers and their children, so we want to ask you to leave the class. I will refund the money."  I told her,"This is a gym, my son is not touching anyone or in anyway stopping the other mothers and their children from running around the track, this is ridiculous. You can keep your money, I'll leave."

I began to realize I could have more fun with our children doing things with them myself and so we did. We kayaked, we cooked, we camped out, we rode bikes, we sailed, we canoed, we hiked, we ran in the woods and up mountain trails, we skied, we waded in creeks and caught insects and tadpoles to study and release, we fished, we body surfed, we sat around a campfire, swam in our own pool, jumped on a trampoline, played sports, visited playgrounds with monkey bars, climbed trees, picked apples, picked strawberries, played at the beach, tapped maple trees and made maple syrup, built dioramas, became scout leaders, just lived life, we had fun.

The latest group I decided to join last year, was a meditation group in Delmar. I contacted the group leader for directions and times.  I picked a time and just as quick the leader said,"Don't be late! We will start without you, we close the doors, you will not come in, and if you are late more than once, you will no longer be able to come to our group!"  I said, "Nevermind, I can see from your temperament in this one conversation, the group has a lot more meditation to practice to catch up with me.  I'm more peaceful now than you.  I withdraw my application, I'm out. Thank you for your time, good-bye."

My mother-in-law use to call the Delmar women, "The Delmar Matrons. They have enough money to be better off than the average Joe but not enough to be really wealthy.  So they live with the division of others as "the haves and the have nots."  My mother-in-law was a hoot!

Never did I intend to upset or disrupt anyone or anything. So now with a laugh in the wind and the fun I have every day being happy, just being me, I read this quote by Groucho Marx. It resonated with me and I begin to think, "You know he's right! If a group wants me to join, I best not. That can be my first clue it will not work out! I can save wasted time by not joining anything anymore. Being in the human race is enough."

Thankful and happy to be here. The universe must have a plan for me, I have discovered it is not to join any groups. I'm Ok with that, actually I prefer it.  🙏