Speaking To Family Members About A Sensitive Issue Is Necessary If You Care

Have you ever thought that someone you love may be heading for trouble but you hesitated to say anything because you think, "It's none of my business?"

Family. When you have a genuine concern coming from your good heart and caring for another, do you say anything?   At the most you risk the other will be offended and cut you off, at the best he/she will appreciate your concern and look into it, understanding your heart of concern and say thank you for noticing and caring.

Respecting elders is not remaining silent when you have a differing opinion but rather responding in positive conversation when someone expresses concern. A conversation talking openly about any concerns, no matter the outcome keeps communication flowing both ways.

Native Americans teach their young to listen to and learn from those that have lived before, lived longer, and to heed advice.  This modern generation seems to be afraid that an elder does not have their best interest at heart. Maybe this comes from earlier conditioning of distrust of elders?  Maybe it comes from too much pride, youth has loads of this. I did.

To walk in fear of saying something to help another in our family, is not my way.  Speaking to warn anyone in the younger generation in my family of danger, I will speak, and so I do. Checking with my heart, if it is coming from a loving place, I speak. The decision to do anything about the situation is up to the individual, but as an elder I believe if you really care, you must speak before anything bad possibly develops.  If nothing bad develops, good, but at least you showed you care. If you set in motion an alarm that curtails harm, that is good too.

There are alcoholics in our family on both sides. I have told our children to be careful about consuming alcohol, it is dangerously deceptive.  The best way not to become hooked on alcohol is not to drink it at all.  But if you must try it be careful, no one plans to become hooked on it, but many do.  The children of alcoholic parents suffer the most, both my husband and I have had to deal with the damage of alcoholic parents. What starts as a harmless drink to take the edge off can become a bad habit without noticing how it developed. When a  parent reaches for the bottle when anxious, children see this. If children see this, they do the same because they witness Mom and/or Dad doing it.

Better to teach meditation. "Pure Meditation" a book by Pema Chodron has been the easiest to understand and apply the methods that I have found.  You can find your own teacher, whatever works for you is best.

Meditation instead of medication or alcohol will give greater results for relief of anxiety but you have to learn how to do it.  Alcohol is dangerously deceptive. It takes effort and daily discipline to learn to meditate instead, but it is much healthier for mental health of everyone in the family.

Thankful to have dodged that bullet in my life.