Angry People Do Not Like the Word "NO" from Others

Anger I have a Ph.d in it.  I also saw it was killing me and making me a victim to all the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" I thought others "should" live by.  I also got angry when others told me, "No, you should not do that!' or "you can't do that!"  Everywhere I turned, there I was, rightfully living among others who like me had the right to live too, but "the BIG ME" knew better...Others did  not have the right to live without my rules.

After all I am nice, polite, thoughtful, kind, patient, good, and the rules I live by are the best.  What a crock!  My "Big Ego" had to make others wrong some of the time if I was always right.  Years go by, life around me changed and I carved out a safe place to hide my negative thoughts and be comfortable but I knew I was angry inside.  I had severe debilitating migraines and although not easily provoked I had a temper just under the surface.

When I finally tire of automatic negative thinking that could make me physically sick to my stomach and scared of the outside world to the point I would not stand up for myself, I knew I had to change. I could not stand my own mind anymore.  Raised in the Christian church, I studied the Bible for years and got no relief from the scriptures.  What I did come to see through this study was that GOD does not care what anyone calls GOD, as long as something brings you inner peace and gives you motivation to live a life of peace.  In other words all roads of peaceful thinking and living lead to the same entity.  Wow! What a discovery for me there.

Here's one, have you or a family member ever been cut out of your fair share of the will?  That one will eat you up inside if you let it. Long term anger turns to bitterness that rots the inside of you. This can make you angry.

I decided to discipline myself to learn as much as I could about how to control and change my thoughts to be kind every day to everyone without being taken advantage of.  Yes I have been used knowingly and unknowingly and both of these betrayals lead to "anger."

Come to think of it, all roads lead to anger if they don't lead to inner peace.  Which brings me to the word "No" from others.  We do not live in North Korea or Nazi Germany, we live in a country where we can go to a Grateful Dead concert outdoors and drink alcohol and smoke weed without getting arrested.  We live in a country that is trying to make the punishment fit the crime.

So the word "No" that we actually obey has to come from within.  If we do not learn the word "No" from within this will lead to more anger.  Life has boundaries. Death is proof of it.  Addictions are anger pacified. All addictions, negative thinking, obesity, anorexia, working out physically, couch potato, drugs, alcohol, reading, academics, science, etc.  Anything done in excess is an addiction.

The only cure for addictions comes from saying "No" inside of each of us. No one can do this for us. In reality once we understand and take responsibility for our own actions and say "No" to benefit our life, mind, and body, I do believe we can take "No" from others. Honor their boundaries and opinions equal to our own. See when it applies to us and when it only applies  to another.  Some people feel safer with a lot of rules, others do not.

"No more" judging others, "No more" negative thinking, (this one is tricky because no one can see my thoughts) "No more" name calling when I disagree with someone, after all if you do the work with Byron Katie, you will find every name you call another is actually you.  We are one. Namaste.

Next blog, when to judge.