Ok, If you want to Spin it in your Favor...whatever...

President Trump is not doing enough, Obama left him with a mess, no one cares about who is pregnant, North Korea is planning to bomb us, Nicole Kidman's marriage is on the rocks, Chelsea Handler is adopting a North Korean baby, Channing Tatum is leaving his wife for Halle Berry, Katy Perry is really an alien, and the media has another hey day.  Spin, spin, spin it.  The media not only spins it but is telling outright lies at every angle to stir the youth of America up that depend solely on what the media feeds them.

So sad this generation has yet to learn to think for themselves and give elected officials the benefit of their doubt. This country is still the one all immigrants want to come to, it cannot be as bad as the youth of today think it is. Still I am glad the youth have a heart and care about everyone however hard decisions need to be made at a government level and none of us have access to the real facts or figures, we cannot, we are not privy to the costs of every effort.

Resorting to name calling, and violence is not solving anything. Generations before have tried it to no avail.  Even if the cause is good, or right, there is more productive solutions when everyone works together, no one has to be completely right all the time. Ego maintains this and will cause division every time.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." ~ Sir Walter Scott

It is only true if you believe it. What do I believe? That I am right about my conversation with Sweetheart. He did not call as I predicted.  Last night I asked if he had read my blog, his response was, "Too busy. Why?"

He read it and says,"Ok, if that is the way you want to spin it, whatever." 

Me: "What do you mean?"

He: "You did not tell me it would be backwards, if you had I would have listened."

Me: "I did, you were not listening..."

Now do I hold tight to my belief that will put me at odds with him or realize I may have been mistaken, and give him the benefit of the doubt?  (After all I am human, I make mistakes too.)

Me, remembering Byron Katie's teaching, "Defense is first act of war."

I do not want to war with this man who does so much for me, remember the wildflower bouquet and dishes washed?  Is this something I let go for now but bitterly file away for future arguments?  No. This is not worth fighting about, neither is the toilet paper roll not being changed, or the toilet seat left up, or the toothpaste top not being put back on...

Think about a lifetime. Think about a lifetime living in peace with someone else.  How about me giving him the positive spin?  How about me giving him the benefit of any doubt and let it go?

Pick my battles, this is NOT one worth it.  Do you want to live forever in opposition of a good thought?  Or would you like to love that one person and live happy?  I choose him and being happy. 

This morning he leaves the house saying, "That was a lucky day I married you." We spent the morning speaking of things we knew as a child, the old black typewriter we use to type out school reports on, then came dot matrix computers, the noise these made with the amber colored letters on a black background, then the green letters on a black background, and how grateful we were when we were able to see black letters on a white background...

In reality, for better or worse, I love him so.

"You Always Had the Power"

My Sweetheat is a very smart man, but...sometimes he discusses things with me that I know will not work. I am a very smart woman.  I express the question of why it will not and he tells me, "No, it will." Usually he self corrects without telling me anything. This morning was different, after almost 40 years of marriage we are finally getting somewhere, he discovered I knew!

He designed a decal to put on his car for advertising his business, a great idea.  (I actually suggested this a couple of years ago)  Now he is moving on it.  He designed a beautiful graphic with words and colors and we both agree on the design so he sent for sample colors. The samples came and we both approved.

Here's the dilemma.  He told me he was going to design the decal for the other side of the car as a mirror image. "I don't think that will work. The design and words will be backwards. What are you thinking?" I said.  He proceeded to tell me how it will work.  I being a older wife and know when this smart guy makes up his mind he knows best... let him be. He is stubborn like me. Unless he sees for himself there is no convincing him.

This morning, he tells me he worked three hours on turning that decal around and it will not work. It will read backwards. And then he asked "When we were talking about that before did you see this?"  I said, "Yes."

Now he tells me, "You could have saved me three hours of work last night by telling me this!"

"Oh no, I'm not taking the rap for your inability to see this.  I learned long ago when you decide your way is the right way, you will not listen to anyone, especially me. Some things are best left for you to discover on your own."

He says, "I'm giving you permission to help me next time."

I'm thinking I tried to help you with this already.

"Why Sweetheart I help you all the time, it is just sometimes, I let things be. It is just better this way. I've been living with you for decades. When you don't respect my opinion at times, I weigh the importance and let it go sometimes. This was one of those times."

He still angry at himself, wants to argue about his wasted three hours...I say, "No, I'm out of this one. You are smart and usually right about many things, I knew you would figure it out eventually and you did."

He surprised me by actually thinking back to my initial objection and seeing I may have known something he did not.  By George, I believe we are making progress after 40 years! This is magnificent! Most women don't have this kind of patience it takes for a marriage to evolve. 😆

You just wait, I know him well, he will call me later today and apologize for getting angry with me about his mistake. Yep, he's a keeper. I'll let you know IF he calls...

In a relationship, "Do you want to be right? or do you want to be happy?"

A Bouquet and The Dishwasher! What?

Coming home from work and finding a bouquet of three different purple wildflowers from the front field in an antique clear glass milk bottle I use for a vase and the dishwasher going with dishes?!  A love note,"For my Bride" on the counter...yep he is a keeper... I have never known a man that loves being married as much as my husband.  No, I don't talk to every husband we know but I will say, our immigrant couple that we see from Jordan are pretty darn close...such love birds those two.

Talk About One Hand Not Knowing What the Other Hand is Doing!

I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few items and I see Lays Potato chips in a plastic container like Pringles.  (I never liked Pringles) Then I remember a friend at work said these were hard to find and she loves them. So I buy two, one for her and one for us to try.  On the way home I open the canister and thought, "I'll just eat one, I'm going home for a salad lunch, yum!"

So I'm driving with my left hand and reaching into the canister of Lays with my right.  After one crunch, I say to myself. "These are good I'll just have a couple more."  Traffic is more than I expected and pop two more chips in my mouth as I move to the intersection to stop at a stop sign. Stop, wait 3 seconds, turn on signal take right.  Good.

Now I'm driving with my left hand thinking about the things I need to do when I get home, cat is going to the vet tomorrow, I have to find rabies papers to update, fixing dinner later, what will I make?  And I notice my right hand was creeping into the Lays canister for yet two more chips, before I can stop that hand the hand quickly puts two more chips in my mouth.  I say,"Wait a minute, wait a minute, you have not had lunch you are not filling up on these chips, stop it!"  I put the lid on the canister and tuck it between the seats, a bit farther out of my reach. Enough for today, save for another day.

Now I move into a road that is about 10 minutes from my house and the phone rings. I have hands free bluetooth and I answer. It is my sweetheart and he is telling about his day and what he doing the rest of the day and what time he will be home.  I look down and that darn right hand is at it again!  While I was not looking my right hand reached that Lays canister, with the flick of a thumb silently popped that top off and was cramming more Lays chips in my mouth without me noticing. By the time I arrived home I noticed the crumbs in my lap and the canister empty!

"Look what you've done! Bad right hand, bad right hand! I can't take my eyes off you for one minute without you getting into trouble.  What am I going to do with you?"  You know I wanted to share those with Sweetheart...

Eternity is the Past...What?

A very wise older woman friend visited me yesterday.  In our conversation about life and marriage, she mentioned "All eternity is in the past."  A minister told her this and it is a curious thought.  I looked up what a preacher would say about this expression to ponder.  According to one, eternity is everything before God in Genesis "spoke into being this world."  No one knows how much time past before this world was created only God. Evidently time as we know it did not exist until the creation of the world in Genesis began.

That is far fetched thinking and maybe it is true.

I thought about it in this light...Eternity only exist in the past because we only know life as it happened to us in the past.  The future is uncertain.  We cannot know when natural disasters come and how it will affect us personally until it does.  We cannot control circumstances and other people, only the way we respond.

So in this way we may live in the past, fearing, worrying, that the future may not be better and that is a waste of the present moment.  To lift up your head and believe things will always get better is a strength of core values and character.  There can be an eternal wellspring of goodness and happy days to look forward to even though the future is unwritten if we believe it.

Control emotions, control negative opinions, control mind through meditation and good works. Still what do you think this means?  Not sure just asking...

People who have Made it, Seem to Think the Others Can't

Listening to celebrities make their speeches I'm hearing of all the things they worry about for other people who have not made the "millionaire" status or fame they achieved.  Their worry is so emotionally driven that I think they maybe feel guilty for having it all while others do not. These folks need to focus on living a life of service to others and use their money for good if they really want to help. I for one am thankful they entertain and share this gift so I can enjoy it too. I think it is wonderful they are living their dream.  That is what is great about this country, you can rise from nothing to your name on a marquee.

Maybe using their angry voice got them to where they are and that is why they believe have to speak on behalf of those they fear cannot speak?  Why do these celebrities get so angry at businesses that are profitable over and over to acquire more millions than they?  I think maybe they have big hearts and want to help but don't really know how, so they condemn the wealthy as if all of them do not care about anything but money.

Many wealthy people give so much to research, foundations, and charities they support but civilians do not know about it.  (Why? They do not need to toot their horn about their philanthropic donations) Entertainers and some politicians, think of another award show they can host to present themselves with another award, another star on the walkway of fame, another monument for proof they were here. The rest of us get a gravestone if we are not cremated.

All teachers and medical field workers, some doctors/lawyers included have to work more than investment bankers and entertainers but get paid less.  Entertainers, NFL, NBL, fighters in the ring of sports, all get paid more than doctors, but these entertainers do not get targeted by academic scholars for their earnings and lack of spreading their wealth to all the poor.  These pro athletes did not pay money to get an education to get a license to practice medicine or law. They did not spend hours upon hours learning how to study books of previous opinions (Learning things necessary to get that degree but not something they would choose to study everyday). Why? To hopefully diagnose a sickness and prescribe a cure if there is one.

Athletes and entertainers practice everyday to do something they loved.  And when these entertainers had perfected their craft, they sought opportunities to showcase their talent and get paid.
I don't hear billionaires sniping at the money or success of athletes and entertainers ever.  These billionaires may even enjoy a Broadway show, a sports event, or buy a CD once in awhile, I can't say.
My point is not everyone wants to be famous or a millionaire. (I once heard a MLM Diamond tell her husband everyone wants to be rich.) From her perspective, she knows what everyone wants. No she does not.

Many people will be happy to be able to have a home and enough income to eat, feed and clothe their family, enjoy a few vacations in their life, and live in peace.  To feel the need to protest that everyday people need to be given everything by this government is to think everyone is not living life on their terms.  To think this is to think that the hard work entertainers and billionaires put in, to learn their profession is not something others can do if they so choose.

Now I'm not talking about mentally challenged individuals or children. I'm talking about the motivation inside each of us will always be based on our level of comfort. When anyone gets uncomfortable enough, change will happen, you cannot stop a person determined to change from within.  That is where real change happens, this is where it has to happen for without an inside decision to change the motivation and the work ethic will not arise. No government can do it for any one person.

I for one, instead of worrying about the bank account of anyone else but myself, would rather focus on signing petitions into laws that protect women, men, and children from harm.  Domestic violence, and sexual offenders have a repeat rate that is too high, proving the sentence is not stiff enough to stop the cycle.  What can we do? Focus on doing what we do best, what we love to do, and know others will do the same.  Change will come for all in time.

If we are to have peace we must have order, we must have laws in a civil country to protect women, men, children, and legal citizens. Money does not fix everything long term, at best money is an extremely temporary fix.

Real change comes from a positive mindset and a good work ethic. No government or any amount of money can give that to anyone and it does not need to.  It is built into us IF we choose to access it within and change.  Reading books of interest helps shed light on the thoughts and lead you in the right direction.

I love people.  I know so many stories of everyday people and their happiness and they are not living the high life of fame, fortune, or luxury, they have found happiness. Namaste.

Good Food, Good Friends, Good Times, That is all we want...

A couple we admire so much because we know their struggles to come to America and how they waited four years to become legal citizens and are so happy to be an American has an 8 year old that is darling.  It is so hectic for them to get free with both of them working, saving for a house in the USA, and keeping up with that little guy's school schedule.  We understand. We raise three and between sports and school there is no time. It was so good t have them over today for lunch. These folks are the happiest, most thankful, folks we know. They LOVE the USA.

I asked them what did they think about President Trump?  They said, "It does not matter to them who is president, they are free here."  They also said, "We obey the laws and we are legal citizens but if Trump ask us to leave we pack up and go, no problem."  I told them, "You pack up and come over here. We know our right and yours. You are not leaving America unless you want to." They said, "Thank you so very much."

They are finally working better jobs and they cannot believe all the money that the government takes for taxes.  I said, "Welcome to America! You are officially an American, you are complaining about the taxes and the illegal immigrants."

We will help them find their first house, and when they are settled in, we will smile knowing how good it is to have a home and a back yard for your son to grow up in. A home in America, that is all they want now, they love this country and they love their American friends and we love them.

Another Day in Paradise

Benefits of war according to Edward VIII the king that abdicated his throne for an American divorcee Wallis Simpson states, 1. Medical sciences 2. Aviation. Interesting view from a former monarch. I guess there are benefits of war but I never really thought about it until I heard him say this in a n interview today. (Posthumously of course) He also stated his father told him, "Royalty never speak of politics."  Since childhood I have heard in school that parliament really runs England that the "Royal Family" is only a figurehead for the people. Why do British need a figurehead? Another brainwashing of their people since birth like all unnecessary traditions.

Why do these people persist to exist?  Isn't the world evolving enough to see there is no such thing as royal blood?  We are all of the same blood. There is no need for these figureheads yet I hear of a few USA citizens who get caught up in an admiration of them. The traditions of their parades and self promotion are fun to watch like a parade at Disney but other than this, of no interest to most Americans.

So thankful that ship did not make it to England in time to stop the British American war. Otherwise we would not be free of that ridiculous division between government and its subjects.  There are no commoners here for sure, we citizens of the world are all as royal as they come. Immigrants and people all over the world are royal.  Even in England there are no commoners unless they believe it about themselves. What a thought! You are royal. Now how will you live life tomorrow knowing we are all royal?

No one above you, no one below you, just us. So you will live no different tomorrow?  Me neither, just another day in paradise. Royal life rocks here in the USA.

Date Night at Harbor Freight

What do old couples do after age 60?  Enjoy a leisurely ride over to Harbor Freight in Pittsfield, Mass. to pick up a tool needed for his work for a client this weekend. Meandered through the town came upon Portsmith Restaurant & Pub with a huge crowd celebrating someone's 50th birthday with loud music and drinking.

We stopped in and asked to be seated outside for privacy and quiet. Had good food, good conversation, found a new friend in passing, Paula with a semicolon on her arm. And we know what that means right? If not GTS, she is a kindred spirit.  Thank you Paula for a wonderful evening out meeting you and hope you enjoy my blog. I look forward to your input and comments. Namaste Paula.

Basically older couples know how to live.

Artists that Get Creative on Drugs

Recently I watched the Netflix documentary on The rock group "The Eagles."  The group came out with hit after hit, year after year, definitely not a one hit wonder.  Amazing as this group is, I never imagined how many #1 hits were discovered in a drugged state of mind.  Also being a southern small town lady of little worldly experience, I am so astounded at how these artists can perform entire concerts night after night stoned out of their minds? Do they need drugs to get in the creative space?

This work ethic has to be of another world.  Most of us can't make it to work if we stayed out late the night before, I can't imagine doing drugs, booze, and partying all night and being able to perform on stage before a live audience.  This kind of natural musical gift is beyond average human ability to my way of thinking.

I am an artist.  I create best when completely sober, in a peaceful state of mind with music and organization in my work space.  If I drink a cup of wine I have to sit down and laugh, maybe sleep for a while then I can get moving again...but no guarantee any art will be produced this night.

Artists like these live fast and live somewhat stressful lives. Drugs to get up, drugs to sleep, drugs to create, a life of pharmaceuticals never is for me.  No surprise they overdose accidentally at times, and sometimes die as a result.

So to know this is how some artists stay on schedule in itself is mind blowing to me.  I for one am too attached to being in control of my own mind to ever succumb to drugs.  But my God I love artists and their finest works. Eagles band members even admitted they did their best work on drugs. That is NOT a poster for quitting drugs or becoming sober. To each his own.

Results Without Believing

Believe and you will have, believe and you draw everything to you the good and the bad, believe and it will move mountains, do not believe and suffer the consequences.

I have had enough of this hocus pocus pressure to live life and be prosperous or miss out. I have lived it, I have blamed myself when I was believing for something good and the bad happened anyway.  No more!  I cannot/will not believe life is this hard to live in peace with myself and every other human on the planet.

Experience has taught me whether I liked it or not: "Sh*t happens." Sh*t I had NOTHING TO DO WITH!  Governmental decisions I had no input in, job crisis, company closed, bankruptcy, genetic diseases, war declared on another country, friends (I thought were friends) believing untrue gossip about me, drunk driver hits and kills a friend (Or their son or daughter) reckless driving kills a biker, a bully snipes in passing with hurtful words, an unknown shooter kills innocent bystanders, assassinations of persons who think and live different, someone steals from you, someone physically/sexually harms you, the list is endless and you and I did not make this happen by our belief or unbelief. This is out of our control.

And this is very paramount, if someone has done something physically/sexually harmful to you, it is not your believing that caused it, most times it is your innocence to the fact that it could happen to you by a very mentally unstable person.  Once the incident is over, do not look back, do not relive it, it will only prevent you from moving on…Get away from the situation and person asap. The past does not define your future.

Where did most of us learn we are responsible for things OUT OF OUR CONTROL? Where did you learn it? I learn to fear this life from religious teachings learned in church and actions of my family/relatives, society, our puritan culture, male dominated and female submissiveness teachings…I learned this at home. 

Negative words and beliefs create more fear in a child's mind than adults know. I had to get away from such negative expressions and negative opinions expressed daily to find peace in my mind and my life. I had to reprogram my thoughts for thankfulness and positive actions. It took years to overcome and learn to control the only thing I have control of, my thoughts and actions. It took only a moment to forgive others and look to myself for guidance to move on.

Which brings me to this wonderful realization that works for all, it is so comforting to stop worrying about things out of my control. How? By controlling my thoughts.  Live every day with gratefulness for what I have and plans to have more as opportunities arise and the opportunities will arrive if I am patient and look for these that keep moving me in the direction of my dreams. Once opportunity comes, I walked through that door, I did not hesitate, and I wanted a different life.  The old adage "Opportunity only knocks once is hogwash!"  Many opportunities will come to you at different times in your life, just because this one did not work out or interest you at the time, another will come.  

Keep moving and if I walk through the wrong door, I patiently walk back out and learn lessons about the wrong door.  We all learn from our mistakes it is one of our best teachers. 

How do I know? Because I have seen, in this big world there are more good people than bad and in this big world there are more creative ideas in each of us than we know if we just dare to ask our self to think! 

No believing is required, just a thankful attitude, positive actions.  Open yourself to get yourself in a position to be better and do better, and keep moving. It will absolutely happen, no believing required.

If You're Going to Be a Writer...

You have to be able to speak from the heart.  In truth I never wanted to write publicly about anything but I have known since I was a teenager I would someday write a book.  Over the years I have told myself, "You? Write a book?  Why?"  But I always was encouraged to write by family and friends because of the unusual journey I have had to get to the sunny side of life.

Traditional religions that excuse bad behavior of others, prohibit equal authority of one's own life, and the fear of speaking plainly about real issues that are destroying people's lives was never for me. I had to let go of so much wrong thinking caused by closed minds and religion, then rebuild my life, rebuild my mind. When I forgive, it is true and sure.

Forty years with my Sweetheart and he also overcoming so much internal mental damage from his childhood even today we talk.  Most people don't share their victories over dark times in their lives, and that is too bad because so many could learn from the experiences and the remedies we found. None work for everyone this is not a one size fits all life so I write.

I actually went to a prayer meeting a couple of years ago with a friend and a minister had a message for me from God he said,"Keep on the path you are going for by your hands many will be healed."

My hands are writing...my healing may be from my story. One thing for absolutely sure, I am a victor of my life, I am not in mental confusion or frustration anymore. Those days are gone. Maybe my writing will help to heal someone, give them a lantern in the darkest hours of their mind...and so I write.

So Nice to Have A Supportive Family

Once again reading about an actress who experienced postpartum depression and had the help of a doctor with meds and a therapist to get through it, she had a very positive outcome after 2 years of therapy. I see a supportive spouse and family was present. Thankful for her family and her asking for help and actually getting help from everyone around her.

A supportive family, a positive parent, a good doctor/therapist gives any mental illness in a person a chance to calm down.  A chance for a life to be normal somewhat.  Sounds silly but simple: Kindness and nurturing support from family helps everything and everyone in every situation.

Authoritarian households do not teach children kindness and love. If parents and families do not give emotional support it is because they do not know how. It was not given to them earlier in life either.

When you come from mentally ill people, nurturing is not their forte.  You have to nurture yourself and hopefully ask for help you need so you will not hurt others too. If you do not get help you will have toxic relationships either by your own causing or deciding to be someone that is abusive to you.

It took me years to understand why some people do not believe a person is actually kind and wants the best for another. I have been accused of being a fraud in this area by family members as well.

I tell you a truth I now know for sure... it is because the person has NEVER known a person, a family member, to be positive and supportive of him/her.  This is very sad.  You believe your experiences more than you believe your eyes and ears.

I went for therapy in my twenties to help myself get over childhood damage and I have been the better for it.  When I told my family I went for therapy and I was better and I wanted to talk over some matters with my parents, only my father listened privately to me and wanted to help.  My mother told me, "Crazy does not run on my side of the family, you got that from your father. Do not tell anyone you are seeing a psychiatrist and embarrass me."

So I worked out some things with my Dad and to honor my mother's wishes I never told anyone else about my therapy.

Wonder who is crazy?

Something Every "Kind and Caring" Person Needs to Know...

A friend was sharing her struggles with the court system to get her addict son the help he needs instead of another stay in jail.  He was getting in trouble with drunk driving and having weed on him. In truth he is a heroin addict.  She is a professional and keeps this secret from everyone she works with, but she confides in me and her family.

She recently found another drug rehab program but her son cannot enter into it unless he has a job. Her brother-in-law owns three businesses in the area of the rehab center and she approached him to give her son a job.  He said simply, "No."  My friend who is older than me asked me, "How can he NOT do this one thing for my son? He owns three very successful businesses and he has so many employees he cannot possibly know them all or what their personal lives may be. For all he knows there may be addicts employed by him! This is his nephew, you'd think he want to help. I never asked him for anything before."

I told her, "I learned long ago that there are people in this world that have absolutely no feelings, no empathy, for another human being.  Especially when it comes to money and their OWN survival. No amount of praying, begging, or describing the seriousness of a situation will this other person care or do anything about it for another person. (Not their child, not their sister, not their mother, not their brother, etc.) I have seen it in the eyes of my own relatives and it is frustrating as a child seeing this growing up until you realize these persons do exist and live among us daily, even in our families.

When you realize these people are here, you find another way.  What seems like the easiest path because of what this person can do to help, is not going to happen, you move on, you have to. Fortunately the world does not revolve around this narcissistic personality."

Life is not fair when you are dealing with people who are concerned with their own wants and needs. However, that is most people you meet everyday, even ourselves. But life can be fair when you leave these people behind and move forward to find people who do care and will help your son. If you look to that one person or persons only, you make yourself their victim, you can become bitter.  This kind of anger hurts only you.

The self-centered people that do this to anyone also sleep well every night. These people (Including God-fearing ones) do not lose one wink of sleep over not helping you or doing the right thing to help a family member.  My experience taught me, do not lose sleep over them either, think for yourself and move on. Find another way. You will find another way if you do not give up. Family members that think like this will, if they decide to give minimal help...will give it reluctantly and put strings on helping you and expect you to owe them in the future. Unconditional love is not in their minds or hearts. Going to church is outwardly pious but you always see what is in a person's heart when asked to go outside themselves to help another.

There are good people out here but like I told my children, "Strangers have been kinder to me than my own family many times in my hour of need, and I thank goodness for these wonderful people and am glad, I found them. There are many good, good, people in the world, you will find them."

The Insanity Of Intellectuals Can Cause Harm

Harvard is known for being one of the Ivy League of colleges for its "ground breaking" research and intellectuals it produces from the wealthiest of families among us.  Yet if you look closer, at some of its products you can see good and bad.  Many doctors/lawyers of any subject make discoveries and write books, go on to make millions of dollars in their profession and politics.  Average income people say, "She/He must be right look how rich they are, and they went to Harvard!"

And like many people with money, many Harvard grads (intellectuals) can lose touch with reality and live a seemingly successful life because of the foundations they found, the lifestyle they live. The rest of us, average people have no clue to the insanity and complex situations these so called "intellectuals" have to navigate because of bad choices.

Read, read, read books of people of note and you get an inside look.  I would not want to live the life of Timothy Leary or Richard Alpert to get the notoriety of either.  These two guys walked through hell by the choices they made and their lifestyles did much damage to themselves, their careers, their families' embarrassment of them, the children, the wives, and other people that loved them. At one point in their lives they were handing out drugs to the public for everyone to have the psychedelic experience to spiritual enlightenment. Harvard funded the drugs for Leary's tests on graduate students before LSD was illegal. (Leary was a hetersexual Irish Catholic, Alpert a homosexual Jew) Both looking for more understanding of life.  Aren't we all?

Eventually out of control Leary ended up getting fired, his friend Alpert left because of his friend's dismissal, and Leary ended up in jail as well as in front of congress. How many average people do jail time and can say they spoke in front of congress?  Bold personality Leary has.  As most bold victims, his extremist ideas led him to believing violence is the answer.

In Timothy Leary's case, women are left behind with raising children and living a life of everyday activities to maintain a home for the children.  Of course the men go hopping off to another adventure, another country, another woman gets dazzled by their rebellious personalities and radical ideas only to find after they hook up with these men driven by narcissistic endeavors, are eventually left behind too.

Two complicated, convoluted lives that average people would never choose to live.  Mental illness set in and people were the groupies of this insane leader. (So important to learn to think for yourself) Jail time, escaping to other countries, getting into jails in other countries, choosing to leave everyone in search of enlightenment.

Confusion seemed to dissipate after Leary's stint in solitary confinement for 2 1/2 years and Alpert's confusion ended after he moved to India, found a guru and changed his name to Ram Dass.  Leary is dead now.  Ram Dass is asking for donations to live out his life in Maui. (Where is the rich family he was born into when he needs them?) Ram Dass wrote books on spiritual enlightenment and taught for years, I have met people who  love him and his teachings. I have read some of his work and do not find him enlightening for me, I prefer more positive, peaceful speakers who lived lives of so much less confusion and violence.

I spoke with Sweetheart of his thoughts about this and he pointed out, many times egotistic individuals can lose touch with reality and go insane, however it is just this cutting edge narcissistic arrogance that can make giant breakthroughs in science and inventions, but in the progress can be very damaging to self and others.

Sometimes I'm glad I have a stubborn streak and core values that love unity, peace, children, and people. Me take drugs?  I would not drink Kool-Aid at Waco, and I was raised on that refreshing drink.

A Little on Edge Are You?

What a great day.  I had a dental appointment and the office staff is so pleasant, good check up.  Then off to get a few thank you gifts for some good people and a baby gift for a friend.  The day went as expected and then I needed to go to the post office to buy stamps...

I headed in at around three fifteen there is NO ONE IN SIGHT AT THIS POST OFFICE.  Then I met the "Grinch."  I decided to trade in my loose change for the stamps as all I can really use is quarters. My local post office knows me and welcomes my change as they are always in need of it, but this is another post office in the next town over. (I get my car serviced there.) So I go in with dimes, nickels, and 14 pennies.

The usual guy I see there is always smiling him. I know his story, I've seen him for many years. Divorced, hard times, he keeps his chin up, "What else can you do?" he says. Agree. Today he looks tired but even though there is a new guy there he steps up to the counter to help me until this other guy, the "Grinch" slowly moseys up to the counter.

He (the new guy) was previously standing in the back doing...nothing.  Leaning, staring out blankly while my friend worked. This man says, "I'll get this." And my friend acts surprised but says, "Thanks" and picks his paperwork back up to continue his work.

I told this guy, "You're in luck I have coins for you today to pay for my three stamps."  He gets the stamps and says, "That'll be $1.47."  I began to count out my dimes slowly to one dollar, put those to the side so he will not need to count those again I thought, then proceeded to count out nickels to 35 cents and the rest in pennies.

Now I hear this guy start to sigh loudly.  I say out loud to him, "This is a great time to count change there is no one in line. "  He shifts his feet and sighs loudly again.  As I count out the last 47 cents, he begins counting the dollar of dimes... "One, two, three...etc."

I'm thinking, "You gotta be kidding me...he has to count these again?"  Ok, whatever...
He gets to the 47 cents and obviously has confusion counting by fives... he counts and recounts 47 cents...I had 52 cents.

He pushes all the pennies back to me, (except two) takes a dime from the change on my side of the counter and makes a grunting sound."  I say, "Wow, he does not like having to count change, no he does not, and he is sighing to let me know it."  I could have pushed the pennies back and taken my dime, that is like me when dealing with an adult with a bad attitude, but I decided to let it go...

This is America, we are free, he has a job, he gets paid for doing the job. Customer service is all he has to do all day with a smile.  Once again, I need only walk out my front door and go through a day to see how thankful I am to be me.  And I'm thankful to know people like the staff at our dental office and the staff at our vet's office...

So I will send white light for a man that was grumpy this afternoon, who sees it a chore to count by fives and help a customer with accepting ten pennies.  And be thankful my guys who work on my car that know me well, appreciate the pizza I bought them for dinner tonight as they rotated my tires with smiles for me. No I did not mention the "Grinch" to anyone else today. (I save that for writing my blog)

So glad the world is full of many more pleasant people than grinches.  Maybe we pleasant ones will eventually rub off on the people who see life as a chore, if they have eyes to see and we have the patience to deal with them. Maybe I should buy that guy a calculator, no? Too much?  Ok.

I Am Not a Groupie

Many will tell you of the male teachers they love and follow such as Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra, listen to their stories, each have valuable lessons to share.  And then listen to teachers such as Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle and my favorite Byron Katie, notice the differences? (Latter have no need for ego identification.)

I do not measure the person's message as it relates to me based on their financial success.  Anyone can sell you a book or system if he/she is an enthusiastic salesman.  I am a hard sell, I am a doubting Thomas, I need to believe with the mind I was born with, and I will never follow anyone or any religion blindly. I need to connect with you.

I like people who relate to everyone... People who do not need to bring up their academic titles, their sundry accomplishments, the people they admire for this achievement and that achievement, people who show you pictures of where they have traveled or the big house they live in, the big boat they own, (MLM conventions are full of these) people who mention the names of other big names they have had the great privilege of spending time with on that island or that yacht, this immediately feeds the ego of the speaker and places them in a position we all cannot/do not/may not relate to. (And quite frankly who among the rest of us cares?  Nada.)

If you have a message for us all, deliver it, help us in that, leave the name dropping, personal ego boosting to your cocktail parties of friends that are impressed by you and your acquaintances. 

Some people in the public eye besides the above mentioned I like for their down to earth connection... Ellen Degeneres, Oprah Winfrey, Michele Obama, Melania Trump...I don't have to agree with their political or even general points of view about everything but their unpretentious manner of presenting themselves to the world, no arrogance in presentation, no ego, is engaging to listen to.

And I'm not talking about being a genuine person, because you may genuinely be pretentious...most people are drawn to salt of the earth people who do not need to be addressed by a title, or have their accomplishments listed to feel respected or accepted. The Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie do this masterfully.

Males in particular need to really work at keeping their braggadocio, sensational antics, flamboyance, to a minimum. (Pride and arrogance is not unique to men, women do it too.) If it is not needed to deliver your story, please spare us.  And those who say "It's not bragging if it's true." Phooey it is bragging no matter how you try to excuse it.

If you are a teacher, teach. I may be wrong but I think most people are NOT groupies? I believe most people like down to earth speakers?  What do you think?

Generational Damage Has been done to Many

If you look back at generations of men and women all over the world there are definitely societies that are more evolved in the equality of the men and women.  The western society has evolved more on the average for "average citizens" than the eastern world.  When you have religions that will not allow women to be the head of it, or cultures who see women as weak and unable to make reasonable and good decisions there is as unequal respect for the female. It happens everyday, even in America.

Our Western society may have a long way to go to feminine idealists here in North America but we are a lot farther along than European countries, the Middle East and India. When cultures and religions dictate what women must wear and what they are allowed to do, the women are not free.

This old generational thinking has trickled down to modern women today.  I believe it is why women do not use their voice, they think they have no power, no one will listen, least of all the men.  Males have huge egos and many times wield their education, money, sex, and position over women to silence them.

Women who feel resentment, bitterness, anger, use angry voices and ultimatums to men, this is not equality for the sexes either. The thing that bothers me the most is women who act like men and do the same to threaten other women and men.  Happiness, unity, peaceful relationships, happen when both are respected equally. How do we get there?

A woman can have a greater effect in a firm but kind stand on any subject with the ability to listen to reason and compromise when necessary to unify. The balance will be restored in time, it is coming.  I do not think it will happen in one or two lifetimes but it is coming... beginning in the land of the free, Canada and the good old USA have a really good start.

Governments have to be stopped from so many laws that prevent individual choices but allow women and children to go unprotected from predators.

The Art of Life

Artist can feel their expression coming through into manifestation when it is right, they know it. When the piece needs more work, they feel it and get to work until they know it is the best it can be. When it is finished they know it.

As a painter and sculptor of mixed media I feel where each stroke of the brush, each piece should be and I know when it is finished. It is a knowing all creators feel.

When you are unhappy you feel it and when you are doing what inspires you, you become happy.
Our lives are works of art.  What do we need to do to feel happy?

What if you Really Believed You Were Needed Here?

What if, just stay with me here, you were created not to follow everyone else in opinion and views but to add something brand new, a new viewpoint, a new expression of things already said?

If we believe we have a drop of universal knowledge (or the divine, if you are religious) just by our very presence in this body, then if we access it, we must, we can, create a brand new thought, a brand new expression of the universal knowledge. The ability is here, now, in each of us, but how do we access it?

If we knew for sure we were here and our expression would make the world a better place, would we focus on doing this instead of destroying the earth or trying to destroy others?

It seems we would expand the universe with new knowledge that could only be communicated through each of us as we know the world.  If and only if we begin with the basic belief of "do no harm to self or others" could we expand the intelligence of the world by looking within. A peaceful mind, a peaceful world begins with me.

Since the beginning of time, whether you believe in the Garden of Eden or evolution, it seems we have been experts at becoming afraid of life's challenges, afraid of other people's opinions of us, afraid if things are not always the same, that life will fall apart... afraid we are not enough to overcome obstacles in our way.

It is easy to look at a person who has nothing and think, "Yeah, they are really nothing, look at them, look where they come from," but the flipside of this is the person who looks like they have everything  but they hide themselves behind titles, diplomas, position in life, materialism, and money, whether earned or inherited.  Inside they know they are afraid but outside no one sees it because they look secure, successful.

So it makes sense to me that the only way to overcome thousands of years of fear inbred into humankind, generation to generation, is to become free of preexisting thoughts, cruel judgements of others, traditions, etc. to see beyond our own fear and give ourself permission to think a new thought. Try it on and see how free we can be, how happy we can be, how we can set others free by thinking a new thought that expresses itself in our own creative expresion and sharing it with the world.

Being grateful everyday and learning to spend a few moments in silence while awake each morning, brings a renewed mind of ideas to express.  Wow, what if we really believed we were needed here?

Is Prayer Dangerous?

When I was growing up I was always taught in church that if you have a problem, "Pray about it." When I would pray and things did not get better I was told, "God works in mysterious ways."  And when this did not suffice for me, "Maybe the answer from God is NO."

This problem with this kind of thinking is no one in the five senses, including me has any power to change anything.  It took becoming an adult and marrying into a Godless family that was educated, wealthy, and thought so highly of themselves and the hurtful things they did to others as being alright, for me to see how powerless I can be, and how abused I would be unless I took my own power back and spoke up for myself. I did. His family did not like it.

I also learned that prayer can be dangerous if I wanted for others to change for me to be accepted and loved by them.  To think anyone needed to change BUT me was insane. So a sidebar to all praying...make sure if you pray, also completely, and this is very important, completely give up any hope of others changing to be a God -fearing individual like you and me, and for them to do the right thing by you.

You could end up like many men and women I've seen, on your knees in prayer, your entire life goes by without ever really living the life you dream about.

Everyone has the right to live a life of peace, pursuing their dreams, men and women. Make the life you want, stand up for yourself.

One Heart, One Energy

What is it about the sound of a crackling fire, a creek flowing over rocks, the wind blowing in the trees, a bird's song, a light snow on a dark night, seeing a brook by a road, being moved by the sight of mountains in the distance, listening to insects' cheeping, chirping at night fall, seeing a snake, animal, living wild and free, the smell after a rain, enjoying the calm after a storm, yet standing in amazement at the sound of thunder and the beautiful flashing of lightening, that makes me want to get closer, closer, and sometimes disappear in it?

I have shed many a tear of joy at the silent snowfall at night, noticing the blue shadows on snow covered grounds under a full moon while walking in nature.

Then I go out to work and see the people that want more, more, more, fame, more money, more prestige, more titles, more attention from people, we focus less on what each of us has right now living this life on this planet. Unhappiness is their demeanor, angry competition, and cynicism is their words written on their face until I smile at them... they smile back and I know all is well, all will be well, and we are one in blood.

Thank Goodness! Technology Will Save Historical Statues

A dear Muslim friend, a woman, traveled back to Iraq last year for a visit.  She brought me a bronze plate of a temple that is no longer in her country because it was destroyed by radicals.  She told me I was a special friend to her and this temple was a special building to her peaceful people, so she bought it for me as a souvenir of her trip.  Her heart is so sweet, I do appreciate the bronze plate and her thoughtfulness to connect me to it.  I must admit I have not looked up the building to see its history but nonetheless...

The American history is not one of all roses and rainbows but it is history.  Civilians may take umbrage with the history and decide to take statues down from the south, of which I was born and raised and would object to if it would stop this, but it is our story of how we came  to be, the good and the bad. If the stoics have taught anything it is "things in our control and things out of our control."

This removal of southern flags and statues is out of my control, so I will not bother objecting in a petition and march, after all it is just a flag or statue. All of us that were raised in the south are not racists. We did not come from plantation owner slave mentalities, most of us were servants and farmers ourselves making ends meet like everyone else.  Civil war ended that and those hard core racists have died long ago. There are a few leftover loud, crazy, racists left but they are not the majority. They soon will be silenced through education and time.

Taking statues down does not change the attitudes of the people.  Archaeologists may have the least amount of concern over the attitudes of any art or piece of a wall etc.  Archeologists want to preserve history and stories of the humans that formed the country, the culture, the religion, not just in the USA but the world over.

History also reveals many European religious movements destroyed precious artifacts of the people to take control of the people.  More evidence we need to think for ourselves and not let the media or anyone control our minds.

I grew up seeing the pyramids and the missing noses and as a child thought weather wore these features down. I was much older when I discovered the Nazis tried to blow these works of history and art up. To intentionally destroy artifacts was unconscionable to my Western mind.  Pyramids were built by Egyptian slaves but the story was there in a sphinx.

Archeologist Chance Coughenour asks, "Why would people destroy cultural heritage?" (Check out his TedTalk "How your pictures can help reclaim lost history" So thankful to see this talk, it relieved my mind so much.

Recently archeologists have designed a way to preserve these cherished relics.  Through pictures we all take of places and things of interest.  Because archeologists know they cannot take every angle of every art or statue from every angle to reconstruct through 3D images a smaller version of the original, they have designed two websites to date that we can download our own pictures to help them recreate and preserve history.  This is encouraging to me with all the destruction of history happening all over the world.  (And this is not to say these structures are being lost due to natural disasters, purposed destruction, war, and human stupidity, there are records of tourists climbing up on a statue to get a selfie only to topple it and break it.) Since humans are just that, human, technology will help us retrieve what is destroyed.

Two websites you can help if you have pictures are:

rekrei.org

reclaimhistory.org

Wow, maybe in light of... this museums will begin to allow visitors to take as many pictures as they want inside from now on? Robert E Lee, part of our cultural heritage history. After all General Lee surrendered to the North to unite this country and not lose more lives to a war.  He is very different from Hitler or Suddein Hussein, he is a peace loving American!

Human or Sinner?

A Catholic friend once told me, "Jews invented guilt but the Catholics perfected it." Yes it is funny, I personally am not Jewish or Catholic but the rituals I have learned about these since becoming an adult has made me wonder, "Why would anyone want so many rules about everything you say, do, or think?" Not me. Another thing I have heard is the only way to get anyone into these religions is to to be born and raised in it, no free thinker would choose these religions.

As an adult I believe if any of us were brought up to believe in the goodness of who we are in connection to the universe which operates in order, we all would not choose any group or religion. I once asked my brother, "Why do people cling to Christian beliefs so tightly when they could forgive themselves, learn from their mistakes and move on?"  To date he gave the most logical answer, "Most people are so hard on themselves in their own judgment of mistakes they have made, that they need an outside savior to pay a price for them in order for them to move on." (Wow that is tough) I like myself too much to go there.

Being human is not easy.  We cannot even in the best of loving homes grow up knowing how to handle every situation we find ourselves in when we leave home and venture out into the world. It is this fear of the outside world that makes some parents want to protect their children and keep them close to home, I get it.  But to be human and make mistakes is human, that's all, not a sin, just a learning curve till we get it right.

How do we know we finally got it right? By the results we see in our lives. Are we feeling more confidence doing the right thing or do we feel more afraid every day because we are afraid someone will find out our dark secret? So is self judgment good? Yes!  Inside everyone of us we do know when we are doing something that would hurt someone else if they knew. What is the answer? Stop doing it, ask the person for forgiveness if needed, and move on doing better because you now know better.

So to me, to be human is to make mistakes, stop, think about how to do things better and move on with wisdom.  If not "Life lessons will be repeated until learned."  The Bible and other spiritual books have great wisdom if you study however, just being human is a lesson in life as well.

If we can get sin consciousness out of our psyche and keep in mind two things, "Do no harm to self or others," this is a simple place to begin again as needed.

Am I atheist? No, but I do believe there is a powerful force that is positive and helps us do good every day, if I want to call it reality or God, it makes no difference to me. I believe this powerful goodness lives inside of us all.  Some know it and can access its goodness easily, others do not believe it exists in the world or themselves so they pray endlessly, daily.  I do not believe life on this planet is that much work. Life is wonderful.

There are Two kinds of Awakening

One is the awakening that most of us think means to see there are others suffering in the world besides you... but the awakening that truly benefits us all is the awakening to the reality that our thoughts are illusions.  Two very different perspectives.

Stating Facts is Not the Same as Being Unthankful...

Growing up in a religious household often a valid concern or complaint was stopped because Mom thought I was unthankful or judging.  Realities of life troubles were swept under the invisible carpet and I was expected to act as if everything was perfect when it was not.

This kind of thinking makes a child doubt reality.  When actions of others hurt feelings of a child, or in reality are bad, it has to be openly discussed and remedied if possible. Communication and teaching a child how to understand there are hard, bad, times in life, as opposed to acting as if nothing happened or changing the subject mid conversation will make anyone crazy.

"Prince of Tides" movie expresses this in clear terms with an extreme situation but the lesser acts are as harmful if not discussed openly.  In our house, nothing was discussed, nothing was ever wrong, no one was allowed to complain out loud or have a hurt feeling. "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing" is poisonous to a young mind that is learning and downloading information at lightning speed every minute of the day.  

Telling facts as they are, good and bad help to discover the world around us and how to respond positively instead of react.

Makes me wonder how our parents were raised?

I love sharing in the happiness of others!

Today I get the news that a friend's mother finally got her childhood dream of a home by the water. Later I saw pictures of her and her mother out on the ocean in Miami, FL driving a boat together.  I cannot tell you how happy I felt knowing another person saw their dream come true.

Days of things like this make me happy.  The smiles on their faces reflected the smile on mine. Simple things make me happy.

So thankful they made the right life decisions to make the dream come true.  I'm very sure because I celebrate with them, I will celebrate again with another as well. I love being happy. Congratulations!

Great Thought Why to Forgive and Quickly

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it"  ~ Mark Twain

Words when used correctly express thoughts easily understood by all.  This is why I love using the exact words to articulate my thoughts.

Forgiveness releases creativity.

Forgiveness expresses the kind essence of who we are.

Forgiveness is powerful to find our highest purpose.

Forgiveness rids us of anger.

Forgiveness rids us of victim mentality.

When you are not a victim, you are free to discover your strengths and soar.

More things I have learned the hard way but know for sure now. Forgiveness is for me to move on.

Many sages know this but how many of us study them?

Another Person Condemns Wealth without Knowing...

As I rode on the shuttle bus to Kykuit I sat beside a retired Art gallery manager that lives in NYC. He was friendly and we struck up a mutual conversation.  In our talks he brought up Jeff Bezos becoming the richest man in the world.  I, who no longer has cablevision and chooses not to listen to the news was not aware.  He does not know the man personally but is already worried and judging the guy as not doing enough for mankind by spreading his wealth.

I cannot believe how as soon as someone acquires the title of "richest," average income persons go into judging wealth as bad if he does not give it away now.  This one topic is a live wire in this world. So I commented, "We have to wait and see how he decides to diversify his wealth.  Bill Gates and Warren Buffett decided in later life after making the money to give it away.  Maybe Jeff needs to keep multiplying his money to make a lot more while he young and when he decides, he will become philanthropic."

The retiree said. "Let's hope."

Me: Really? We need to concern our thoughts with what somebody else is doing with money we have not found a way to make?  Good grief... I got a life to live machacha. Moving on.

Sweetheart found this article...how did I know this without reading this article?  Because I believe in the goodness of wealthy people.

http://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-bezos-richest-person-philanthropy-2017-7

Why we have employee mentality instead of living a visionary life...

Discussing the Kykuit and the family with my Sweetheart, I said these people, these visionaries, worked from the moment they awakened to the moment they "had" to sleep. Their basic needs were supplied every day of their life, no question, their safety was assured, belonging, love and fun activities came from parents and home, esteem (I can do attitude) was surely there if you count their foundations, and political seats accomplished, and when these basics are lived and taught daily by your parents you have a much better chance of self-fulfillment and living your creative ideas, because you have watched your own parents do it.  You expect you will do well too.

Most parents today are spending the majority of the time trying to learn how to pay the bills, maintain employment, status, feel good about themselves after a divorce or business failure, etc., keep the lights on, food on the table, (two parents work for these comforts more than spending time with their children) and rarely do we get to put into action our creative activities to serve the world.  I get it, we are not the Rockefellers, but I observe...

It does take money to have basic needs met and the knowledge how to make more money, multiply it, and one observation I see in all of these visionaries is they own their own business, maybe more than one to diversify the monies at some point. It may be we need to open our creative minds and create our own business to begin to learn what it is to be free here in USA.

Employee mentality does not make a person free from servitude tasks.  To be a visionary one must be free to think and create and that is much easier when you have basic needs met, a good income, and networking contacts in every field. Working as an employee for others does not obtain this individual monetary success we all claim to want but are too stagnant, comfortable, or maybe scared to give up, to create.

Today with the internet connecting us with the entire world there has to be a way for us all to supplement our income or make our entire income from an online business. It has to be, when we get our creative juices flowing there has to be a way.

It seems to me that good intimate relationships, and true friendship throughout your life enables everyone to focus on inner peace, fidelity, and happiness once you get to the top of Maslow's triangle.

I'm just rambling and thinking out loud... what do you observe in the lives of people you admire the most?