How to Begin to Forgive Someone You Despise

Just saying, forgive and forget does not work. Praying it away, no good. Thinking about it makes me angrier and angrier. So we get it you can't do it, you are human, good to know. 

First think of someone you can easily forgive for doing something you don't like, an animal jumped excited to see you and broke a favorite vase, or your child while toddling fail and bumped head into your glass of water and spilled it everywhere.  We don't like it but after all, it was an accident. So we feel the compassion for these, feel it. Sit with it and feel the compassion.

When you are really at ease, step it up to a neutral person, someone you like so much you can forgive them anything, a best friend, a clerk at a store, you think of a neutral person.  Sit with it feel it.

Now the person you despise, you may not feel compassion now but in this calmer state, say, "I wish myself to be free of judgment and find inner peace. I wish (You fill in the blank with despise name)
to be free of judgment and find inner peace." 

Feel nothing? Right! Now the hard part, do this every day, three times a day for ONE ENTIRE YEAR. It should take about 5 minutes. You can do this anytime anywhere, sitting in traffic, waiting in line at the store, walking in the woods, riding your bike. Time that might have been spent complaining or being inpatient, use it to find the compassion. The light that will enter your mind in time will expand and as the year goes by you begin to have compassion for the person that wronged you.  Don't believe me, try it.

This is a practice I learned in studying.  It worked for me, it might work for you, you decide. Heck, it is worth a try, you gotta do something to rid your mind of anger, this helps. Life is too precious to remain angry too long.😌