Mrs. Fields Handed Out Cookies, I Give Out SMILES

"Mrs. Fields Cookies" empire was not taking off as she planned so she went to a mall location put cookies on a platter and went out into the mall and gave her cookies away, everyone ran to her shop to buy bags of the deliciousness.  I read that she carried her cookies with her everywhere and handed them out to anyone, she even took them on a plane and handed out cookies there, she is successful. Her cookie empire is worth $450 million today. (Yes she diversified, multiple sources of income)

Now if  you know me personally I have told everyone to consider limiting the intake of sugar.  I read a book titled Sugar Blues when I was a teenager. In the book it says that if sugar were created today it would need to be obtained by prescription for all the damage it does to the human body and brain in comparison to the small pick me up benefits.

Sugar is in every product on the shelf now.  I read McDonald's puts it in the french fries, no wonder they taste so good.  Pizza Hut puts sugar in the tomato sauce, keeps me coming back for more, or learning to limit myself from it.  When our children were babies I cut their juices by 50% water and I use to put them to bed with water in their bottles. (I did not want to rot the baby teeth with a sugary drink)  Our eldest would throw the bottle out of the crib to the door as I was exiting the room. Independent expressive little angel, I gave him his bottle of water each time until he finally gave in and drank it.

I gave up sugar altogether twice in my life, once for two years, another time for 3 years, what I discovered is my bones stopped aching and body did not hurt in general.  (Less headaches, more energy, better sleep,  benefits without pharmaceuticals.)

We began to give sugar desserts to the children when the kids were older, maybe 5  or 6 y o. But the first time they tasted a chocolate chip cookie they would stick their tongues out and make a scrunched up face like they tasted something bad, and they did, sugar!

But the idea that inspired me, Mrs. Fields handing out cookies and making people happy appealed to me.  What could I give? (Not sugary desserts) I thought and came up with a "SMILE."  It grew on my face, perfect!  So I have given smiles purposely for over 35+ years and I see that even if only for a millisecond, others give me one back.  Now Mrs. Fields gave to get money, and it worked. (Smart woman)  I gave smiles to spread a little joy in the world with each person I meet.  Children love smiles from an adult.

Extremely rare I get no smile at all, and when this happens I send white light to that person.  I give smiles expecting nothing in return and have gotten many a conversation started as a result.  Others think I know them, or think I want something, I say, "No just happy to see you."

Weird right?  If you want to, try it this year, just for fun and see how many new people and their stories you get to hear.  I love stories even if I don't believe any of them and you know why...

Eckhart and James Taylor Teach the Same Wisdom

"If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what's left is who you are- the "Being" behind the human, a field of pure potentiality rather than something that is already defined. Give up defining yourself- to yourself and others. You won't die. you will come to life."

"Always say yes to the present moment. Surrender to what is.  Say "Yes" to life- and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you."

"Suffering begins when you mentally label a situation as bad.  That causes an emotional contraction. When you let it be, without naming it, enormous power is available to you.  The contraction cuts you off from that power, the power of life itself." ~ Eckhart Tolle
___________________________________________________________________________

I've been there, I have met others who have been there, I'm not positive but I think when you go deeply inward searching for truth there is a point when everything you think you know becomes questionable.  If this isn't scary enough, to realize your rules, your beliefs are not absolute? Then what is left to believe?

Eckhart teaches when one gets to this point, you surrender to "What is" in so doing you find yourself. To stop defining myself, who would I be? Now that is scary.

Yet I came to this unlearning process by every mistake I made, every belief that didn't work, every time another plan fell through for both of us.  I came to total surrendering  about 4 years ago. A letting go, I had no choice.  To share my life with someone that does not have the same rules and therefore has to make his own mistakes that can involve me and affect my life, is "Marriage."

Multiple marriages, more children from another man, are too confusing for me.  To see husbands and wives break up is understandable, when one does not know self or have personal goals to achieve outside of each other, there is no inside peace, there is just a routine. And this routine can smother and choke you if you don't find yourself first. Looking inward is to discover what I don't know, it is to begin to unlearn the things that are harmful to myself and that isolate me from others.  Things I took as routine were not helping me to become the genuine me.

It took me years to unlearn what I thought I knew and to begin to know I don't know and begin to find peace in the present moment.  It is good to be at place not having to have to have all the answers all the time for everyone else outside of me.  I can only control myself and I don't have to work at that, I just do it.  I know the right thing to do I do it.

Eckhart says "Not knowing is a great starting point, to be stressed about not knowing is the only problem."  Life will unfold to you as you live it whether you like it or not, things change, people change, I change, but I choose to "Not to change my life partner in my process."  It is all okay, the universe has my back and it has yours, the world is a friendly place.

James Taylor sings a song that speaks to my heart as the writings of Eckhart do,

"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...open up your heart, welcome to the human race, It's a lovely ride...try to not try too hard."

I don't know if JT even knows who Eckhart Tolle is but as I said before, all roads lead to the universal truths of peace if you seek it.  I loved the message of this JT song before I knew of Eckhart Tolle. They both teach the same thing in different words. Thank you JT and thank you ET.

Fire and Contemplation

What is the magical allure of a fire? Almost hypnotic if you really dive into the flames with a trance.  My mind finds the yellow arrows stretch upward to take me into a moment of time where I think no thoughts.  This must be the power of now, being in the present moment.

As I get older I find I have no time for angry thoughts or angry people on an ongoing basis in my life.  In fact many days and weeks pass without any of this for us.  The Bible teaches “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath.”  This is a good amount of time to measure how long I allow myself to be angry.

We have some relatives in our life that are so angry that every time we’re in their presence they seem to be ready to explode at the slightest inconvenience of a differing opinion from anyone?  To be calm around an angry person and not be sucked into their vacuum of self-doubt is a thermometer of strength.  Family gatherings are a great test of this faith. 

Eckhart Tolle teaches 3 thought processes for every situation” 1) acceptance, 2) enjoyment, 3) enthusiasm.  If I can perform these moment by moment then I will cause less misery in the world and achieve my inner peace.

Forgiveness of these people is for me? It took me many years to figure this out. Why should I forgive them when they are the ones causing trouble?  It is because the burden of their actions is weighing on me not them.  To want another to do something I think is right is not possible when we don’t have the same values or the ability to control another.

As I get older I find have time for more laughter, discussions of books, technology, preserving the world we live in, and sharing happy occasions with friends and family who are open to it.  I have time to invite new ideas in, listen to a differing opinion without argument, welcome knowledge from others, and generally enjoy other people and their stories.  Byron Katie teaches we all have stories we believe about ourselves and none of them are true. 

And a fireplace with a wood burning fire contemplating...  Life doesn’t get better than this.  

We Can Be Enlightened Much Faster than Buddha

Lost in translation is the reason for much confusion. However if not for these translations we could not read the original texts. What we see as we live is that all roads lead to the truth.  The truth is universal.

Does it matter if every verse and word is absolutely correct?  Entire groups of people have fought wars over a comma in a translated text, even broke into other branches of the same religion, and this begs us to consider, is it truth we seek or elevating our ego to be right?

I was reading where another scholar pointed out that Buddha would never say "Don't believe what I say unless it resonates with you, doubt everything."  There was a long explanation why Buddha would not say this.  The suggestion was that Buddha would say, "Believe what I say after your own careful consideration."  Really this scholar wants to focus on the words instead of the message?

Either way it is the same message.  Basically today we have many living breathing wise persons to listen to and consider without focusing on unnecessary details.  Thousands of teachers alive today can help lead us to truths of peace and unity.  Buddha spent his entire life to learn the lessons and apply them, write down his discoveries for us to read, we don't have to spend our life doing the same.

We can study and follow peaceful words of truth that resonate within each of us. And we can become enlightened much faster than Buddha.  "An open mind is an open heart."  What path will lead me to peace?  As long as I get there it really doesn't matter.

Lake Placid and Wilderness II with Prince Eric

Today we ventured out to the Adirondack Park Highway, so beautiful to see the mountains and rivers that run along Rte 9N.  The ride was one of enjoyment and light laughter with our son-in-law.  A real southern gentleman we appreciate him so much, he is a good patient man.  He was looking for it to snow in the mountains today.

White Mountain had clouds preventing us from seeing the top, but it was majestic just the same. The ski area looked as if it had lots of packed snow and ready to ski.  Then we turned the bend into Lake Placid.

The Olympic Skating (Rink) Oval had tall vertical outdoor fire lights around a glass like ice oval where the skaters were gliding along. (Not crowded) Up around another bend was an outdoor fire in a black grill on the sidewalk with tourists drinking hot cocoa.  The Mirror Lake Inn was sprinkled with white lights that made it look like a winter wonderland.

We took some panoramic pictures to send to the folks back in Virginia and Selkirk.  Then headed back south to have dinner in the Wilderness II Restaurant. A log fire place gave a woodsy smell to the restaurant and a cozy feel with snowshoes on the wall and brown vines from the woods twisted with red glitter feathers for holiday decor.  We had homemade mushroom soup, mozzarella sticks, clams casino, salad, stuffed sole and stuffed pork delish, so full we had to take out rest for tomorrow's lunch treat.

Coffee and a few flurries we hoped for a snowstorm but got home safely 3 hours later, no snow. Hopefully we will have snow before the week is up for Prince Eric.  He has come a long way for a short while, he would like snow for his birthday tomorrow please. 💨

Christmas at the Kennel

We have a wonderful grand cat and grand dog who came to visit with our daughter and her husband. Our house can accommodate cats (we have four) but not dogs.  The dog is a nice dog and very docile. We have her in a local kennel that has Pet Cams, we can watch her 24/7 on our phone or computer.  (The grand dog is used to living in the woods at her home and runs free with no dogs to socialize with.)  In this luxurious pet spa she has a huge area to herself but she can hear the other dogs nearby. We can see the other dogs in other areas and they were walking in circles and looked to be barking.

We have visual but no audio and our little angel is very quiet. She looks calm and stays on her bed, sometimes she walks around but she looks lonely.  I thought about how safe and great her environment is but also thought she may feel better if she saw her mother, this may comfort her knowing she was not just left.  I don't know, but I wanted our daughter to be with her dog.

So we rode up to the kennel 30 minutes away and got our grand dog and brought her home for 3 hours before Christmas dinner. She ran in the woods, ate her supper and played with her father, mother and uncle. She was very happy.  There was a curfew at the kennels so our angel dog had to be back for bed by 8pm.

When we took her back she was happier than we picked her up. The caretakers were so nurturing and pleased to see her and mother and father felt much better about leaving her now.

Ok , Ok, Ok, and Grandmama felt better too.😀

A Flotilla and a Fruitcake from the Ozarks

 Our first visit to the Ozarks was shortly after we were married, a girlfriend 26 y o., was marrying a 45 y o man.  On the day she married she became a wife, a mother, and a grandmother.  Even her husband’s first wife was present, the mother of his first four adult children.  The groom owned a business out of Chicago that built speed boats and my girlfriend worked as his executive secretary.  She was a wonderful sweet strong Christian woman from the South.  I asked her at the wedding reception. “Why him?”  She said, “Well, lots of guys like me but he was the only one that asked me out.” 

My sweetheart and I were the only couple there of the same age. Many couples were older men with young wives. Most of the men were airline pilots.  Now the unusual reception was held on a flotilla. Five house boats were tied together side by side and anchored in a waterway in the Ozarks, Missouri.  Charles and I stayed close throughout the reception but ventured out for a while to mingle, this reception went on for hours. 

One houseboat had a huge shrimp cocktail table with a tall tower in the middle of more shrimp going up, up, up, in layers. Very prestigious looking with cocktail sauce in silver bowls.  The next houseboat was a lounge area that had a huge bar with bartender, anything you wanted they made it.  The next houseboat was open with dance floor and comfortable couches and an appetizer table in the back.  Then there was houseboat with the gigantic wedding cake with plates and forks you could eat anytime you like. The last houseboat was an area that had a changing room, you could put on your swimsuit and dive in, go waterskiing, and sit on floats with a cocktail in your hand.

As we began to talk with the other guests, it became clear that us two kids had not been quite as accomplished as the older men here and they began to brag of all they owned and where they traveled, etc.  Not to be out done, I thought. “I will never see these people again in my life so I will tell a tall tale about me and they will never know the difference.”

I told them I owned a train car and travelled around the continental United States when I was not working at my dental office, I was an oral surgeon.  (I actually had worked for an oral surgeon and knew the business well)  So as these drunk pompous pilots said they had to go to work and fly, I asked, “You are going to fly a plane drunk?”  They said, “Yes, have you not heard of auto-pilot? I fly drunk all the time.”

Southern belle with no life experience I was appalled to hear this.  So as I made my way to find my Sweetheart and tell him of this news…He approaches me and without discussing a thing whispers, “Quick, over here, if anyone ask, I own a Cessna 208 Caravan plane that seats 12 passengers!”  I started laughing out loud, “If anyone ask you, I own a train car and I’m an oral surgeon.”

We both had a good laugh, he tired of the BS and I tired of the BS had both lied without consulting the other, I knew I had married the right man for me.  Little did I know, I was feeling a bit nauseated while on this flotilla, when I returned home to NY I found I was 4 months pregnant with our first son.

I thought pf the Ozarks today because my sweetheart wanted a fruitcake for Christmas.  I ordered one through Williams Sonoma called The Assumption Abbey Fruitcake, a monastery in the Ozarks.  The recipe is an old one passed on to them from a chef that served this fruitcake to the Duke and Duchess of Windsor.  

Merry Christmas Sweetheart, I love you forever.

A Father and His Son

I visited a dear friend who just lost her mother-in-law to whom she was really close. This woman taught my friend (a teenager) how to cook, prepare a feast for a family, hostess an elegant house for family gatherings, basically how to be a good wife. They really loved one another.  Now, my friend loves to cook, loves her husband, and loves their 7 y o son.  This son was truly a gift from God as my friend was told she could not have children.  After 16 years of marriage this sweet boy arrived much to their happiness.

They chose to come to America when he was 4 months old to give him a better life and a childhood surrounded by a much more peaceful society than the one they left behind. They were accepted into Canada first which was the first choice but were told they had to wait two years to enter there however if they would go to USA they could go now.  Anxious to live free and in peace for their son's sake, they came here quickly. In the country they left behind the couple had a big house, both were college educated and established in successful careers. 

In America their diplomas and experience were not honored and they were told if they would start over with American education they could again apply on an entry level to get back into a career they worked for 15 years.  They needed to learn more English, and they did, they needed to find work, and they did in positions of minimum wage. 

I met her 3 years ago. She is a very optimistic and fun person, that Thanksgiving and Christmas I invited her family over and the friendship was born.  The food she brought was delicious.  Her husband is so kind, loving, peaceful, and supportive of his wife to work and live free in America it was surprising to my family. Her son an angel with good manners.

Good people with pride they paid their way and wanted no monetary handouts from our government.

As they both worked they made sure they were with their son always.  They were not interested in day care for him, they wanted to be his confidant, his parent, his trust.  

His father made sure wherever he worked, he was able to be home to put his son to bed every night. He would go up to bed with him and spend another 30 minutes talking with his son about his son's day. They talked of good things, and bad things, and peaceful ways to handle every situation the child encountered throughout his day. His father has done this every day since he was a baby. As a result this father and son are very close.

When his father left for his country to attend the death of his mother, he left his wife and son behind because they had to keep working and it costs so much to fly there.  At the airport, as they kissed good bye, his son was crying.  His father said, "What are these tears? For your grandmother?"  

His son said, "No, I cry for you, because I will miss you so much!" 

We Americans need immigrants to come here and remind us what we use to be, before we took our lives for granted and became consumed with making money to support a lifestyle more than we value time every day with our children.  Children are small for a short time and will be gone before we know it forever.  We teach by example.

"When you don't have much, you cling to each other." ~LMS

We Live like Kings and Queens Here but We Don't Know It

The ability to read and the availability of books is a treasure of a King.  The first printing press was invented in 1436 but the first recorded record of its existence came in written form as a result of a lawsuit in 1440. (It figures...)  The books available to the public were religious.  Books by scientists and authors were printed without the source cited and early books did not credit the writers of them.

Mexico City had the first printing press again printing Catholic Church rules for the people in 1660. The first printing press in the USA was brought over by a minister and his wife to Massachusetts to print Bibles for the colonies.    The minister died on the ship over here and his wife quickly set up business with an assistant to run this business.  She eventually married the president of Harvard College.

Why do I bring this up?  It has to do with discipline, self motivation, and learning.  The world is getting better every day and in every way because of the information we all have via technology. There was a time when only Royal (Rich) people had the money to buy books and great works of art. The public was kept in the dark intellectually, never to explore other thoughts than what the rulers of the country wanted the people to know.  Limited access to entertainment, books, cities, other cultures and people kept everyone in the dark.

Information is power.  Today we have public libraries, public playhouses, public art museums, public state museums, and if you care to visit and linger and read, you can learn many things.  You can find out how good we have it today and become extremely grateful.  Knowledge is life changing.  An idea to pursue or write or create comes when the brain is free to think new ideas.

If the mind is so lock closed because of a fear of thinking and exploring other cultures, beliefs, (A commandment of many religious texts) we become short sighted, closed hearts, closed minds, , and judgmental of anyone that does not believe like me.  If I'm right, someone has to be wrong, and that would be you.  Division and darkness of intelligence is causing us to judge, hate, and fight one another.

To read every book in a public library is to have your eyes open and your heart open to other ways of thinking. No one is making anyone give up personal conviction, we are just opening our eyes of compassion and respect for all others.

Thank goodness for freedom to read and live and learn in the world. In time we will live in peace. We are one, we all want peace.

Who Am I Without My story of who I think I am?

If you read, sages teach it, we hear Buddhists teach it, but how to do it can be confusing, if I do it life is much easier.  To stretch my mind to believe what Byron Katie teaches about it seems impossible at first.  Each teach,

“To look back is to be depressed, to look forward is to be anxious, but to live in the now is to be present.”  .

Now Byron Katie who travels the world and teaches www.thework.com teaches we have no past and we have no future so to dream about either is to be caught up in our stories, (fantasy) which are gone. Each moment is new and yet it is gone as soon as the realization of it is here. If I don’t believe a thing a person is teaching, I dig deeper, I will at least consider it.  At Byron Katie’s website I printed out her “work sheet,” Four questions and a Turn Around.  The first time I worked on her worksheet I could not do it. So I set out to understand her way and do the work. (Just to boggle your mind, print out ONE work sheet and try to fill it in, the first time I could not fill it in, so I begin to study her work and teachings)

To live in the present means to be fulfilling my purpose, as matter of fact there are hundreds of books that try to teach me how to find the color of my parachute, I have read many.  The philosophy BK subscribes to you is that when you live in the present moment, your purpose will find you, so I can stop looking.  Her purpose found her and she is living it, she travels and teaches, four questions and a turn around.  She loves it.

Now people go to college, church or work, get married, have children, to find their purpose, or so they think.   These things give a sense of security but when negative life situations happen none of the successes you receive in any of these can’t prevent a downfall. The kind of strength that sees you through the hard time without divorce, alcohol, drug or food addictions comes from within. 

A purpose is not like any other, and it can only be known to the person seeking it.  College may be necessary to be a researcher in some fields, a doctor in the USA, lawyer in the USA, a licensed individual in the USA, but that degree is not who we are and it does not mean we know more or are more because of it.  The fact that there are countries, states, tribes, here in the USA that don’t have access to formal education or medical doctors and actually live according to the teachings of the last generation that taught them, and attain wellness and life is proof of this.

Most people are satisfied with a title, a position, even praise themselves for going to an Ivy League college, being a member of the largest congregational church, a member of a prestigious family, a gang member, own the best real estate, the best, the best, the best, the biggest, no end to the list of our accomplishments that make us more than who or what?  But this is not who we are or state our purpose. I have come to see when I am living a certain level of comfort, I can slip away, disappear in to the background and not do more if I don’t want to. 

It is the struggle that makes me move, makes me creative, helps me find and live life with my purpose.   Opportunities are shut doors to me if I stop going through them.  To go the next door of opportunity I have to look for it.

So I’ll leave, thinking about “Who would I be without my story?”

Frightening to think about losing my story, how could I possibly identify me?    

This is the Life After Children, No Worries

Funny how life slips on by and you hardly notice until a son that doesn’t live with you stops in for a holiday.  Our sons are bachelors, one is enjoying life traveling the world, staying in Air BNB meeting new people and the other lives and works in NYC, travels to California or Europe to a  “Rock” concert with friends when he wants and they both have a life that doesn’t include us anymore.  Not that I’m complaining, I remember the freedom we felt traveling without children or hard obligations to hold us down when we were young too. It was the best times of our young lives.

Decorating use to be such an event, shopping, designing, get beautiful things on sale after Christmas until the house is just as you want it.  Simple elegance.  Now a veteran decorator, I know exactly where everything goes and which motif I want this year. I am the kind of woman who does not need new stuff every year, I like my French country taste.

As we get older we want less and less and actually prefer not to get any more things, we don’t have room for the stuff we have now.  As I was pulling down decorations I found a box of beautiful accent pieces that I bought but never used and was thinking who I could give these to next year.

You know someone asked me recently what was on my bucket list. To be honest I made that bucket list before I was 30 and have completed that bucket list for the most part by 50, there are two things left, one riding an iron bull in a Texas bar and going up in a balloon.  I decided I will forgo the iron bull with this older body but I know I will go up in a balloon.

Sitting by the fire, writing this blog... long ago I use to freak out if I did not have a full homemade dinner waiting as the younger son comes in tonight but I am much more serene now. I made an orange cranberry loaf, I lit candles, put up the carolers over the windows, hung real wreaths, lit the Yankee candles, tea candles around, and as my husband took out of here to pick up number 2 son at the train, I said please go to Big Mikes and get something for you both, he will be famished after a long train ride and I didn’t make anything for our dinner.

Yes,

this is the life after children.

"Don't Go Near Her! She Slaps Everyone!"

Years ago I was in a nursing school clinical rotation at a nursing home. I was assigned to a quadriplegic woman who shared her room with a paraplegic woman.  My patient was so easy to care for, bathe, feed, give meds, and she slept most of the day. I pretty much just moved her ever so often and watched her sleep until next meds or feeding time. She did not talk much.

Across the room I saw a woman who was sitting up in her bed, applying makeup. Her hair was dyed black and she had so much makeup on she looked like a has been movie star that couldn't give up the limelight.  You know that "Baby Jane" look.  She did not talk either but she had an angry face always.

I sat on the chair next to my patient while I watched her RN and CNA come in to do her daily care. Sure enough the RN asked, “Mrs. Lewis, are you in a good mood today?"  "Why should I be I lie here all day no one comes to see me!"  

CNA, "I come to see you Mrs. Lewis." 

She, "You have to."  CNA "Now I have to turn you please don't hit me today."  

She, "Then don't hurt me!'

He finished her bathing with the RN helping.  She grumbled how bad the service was around here, "I hate it here."  They left, and I saw why she was not given to a nursing student.  

After they left, my patient was getting drowsy and I was talking to her roommate when my patient whispered to me, "Stay here, don't go near her, she slaps everyone!" I said, "Ok, thanks for the warning." 

My patient went to sleep and her roommate was still putting on makeup and brushing her hair. I remembered Dale Carnegie and began to ask her about her life.  She came from NYC.  She had been part of Vaudeville when she was young and later married 4 times, 2 divorces and 2 died and left her with money, and two ungrateful sons, her words.  She had travelled the world and had great stories.  

I told her I was tired, I had been up all night studying and had to get up at the crack of dawn.  I asked her if she would move over so I could lie down next to her and rest.  She said, "Sure thing honey, come over here, I'll take care of you."

I crawled into bed and told her, “Look out for my nursing instructor, if she finds me lying down on the job, I'll be in trouble!"  She said, "Alright."

She was under the sheets I was on top next to her.  She decided she wanted to share some cookies with me that she had hidden in her nightstand.  She put a napkin on my stomach and put two shortbread cookies on the napkin, asked me if I would like some water? I said, "Sure, thank you."

She moved her hospital table and got her pitcher of water, poured me a glass.  I lie next to her for an hour or two.  (Yes I got up and rotated my patient when needed)  She combed my hair, fixed my napkin, poured more water, gave me more cookies and I became her patient.  She was a sweetheart.

Later, my nursing instructor came breezing in, took a look around the room, did not see me in the bed with the patient across the room and left.  Quickly I got up and said, "Mrs. Lewis don't tell on me please."

Mrs. Lewis said, "I would not!"  My patient, woke up and saw me getting out of her neighbor's bed and said to me, "What were you doing in her bed?  She didn't slap you?"  I said, "No, she is really a nice person once you get to know her. I was having a rest and some cookies with her."

A few minutes later my clinical instructor came back in the room and sees me standing by the bed of my patient and says, "I was just in here where were you?"

"Around, I was here."  My instructor says, "Did I see you in bed with that patient over there or was I seeing things?"

"Ah, yes you did."

Mrs. Lewis pipes up and says to my teacher, "You do not get mad at her, she was helping me do something."

The teacher checked my charting and patient and all was good.  Upon leaving the room she said, "Come out in the hall Candy." 

 "You cannot get in bed with a patient, it does not bother me personally but there are state laws about this."

"Ok."

Well you don't need to be Einstein to see the moral of this tale, Mrs. Lewis was alive and dancing in her mind and now she could not move anymore.  She used to take care of others and she hated being dependent on them now to take care of her.

By me letting her take care of me, she felt needed again.  We all want to feel needed don't we?

And if you know me at all, YES I crawled into bed every day that week with Mrs. Lewis and made her smile, and me happy to have more of her tasty shortbread cookies and my favorite, her stories!  😘😉

Don't Get your Knickers In a Twist, it is just a BLOG

Donald Trump was interviewed by David Letterman a few years ago.  David asked him, “If you lost it all tonight, where would you begin tomorrow?"  Donald Trump answered, "Network Marketing."  

One thing you hear in the network marketing presentation is that at a job you trade hours for dollars and this is true.  There is no such thing as job security.  Wealthy people have more than one source of income but who tells the average American this? No one, but a study of the more financially secure individuals reveal that they have more than one way to make money.  The more the better.

Have you heard of the potato farmer that drives a school bus every morning along with selling eggs? Or the beef farmer that works early morning and late evenings on the farm after working full-time as a teacher? Or a nurse who owns apartments? If you have more than one income you always have something to fall back on.  With the internet, we have access like never before to connect and sell 24/7.  It is even better if you can have a business that makes money while you sleep.  Network marketing makes this available. (Easier than manual labor.)

I happen to believe any downline I have will do as I do, research the products, see if I need or want them, sign up and buy from the privacy of my home, and call and ask for help if needed. 

The products will sell themselves. Proof in how great I feel keeps me coming back month after month. No pressure, no weekly meetings, no worries.  I love Isagenix.  The sponsors are wonderful people and although I don't "hang" with them at annual celebrations or talk to them every week, I know they are there if I need them.  All of them deserve all the success they receive. Great folks.

As for a pyramid scheme I look at every retail business I have worked in and they are all pyramid schemes. The people at the top are making the most money or they would not be in the business. 

If you like Essential Oils, there is a MLM for that, join it.  If you like Tupperware, there is a MLM for that, join it. If you like organic makeup there is Arbonne, join it, like Mary Kay, join it, Herbalife, USANA, Pampered Chef, Candles, etc. join it.  Choose one if you have any idea you might like the products and tell people about it.  If enough people try it and like it you may make some money. If you are like me, I will always buy Isagenix because I love the benefits I receive from the products and I enjoy the wholesale discount.

Bottom line is to have another source of income coming into your home.  That is all.  I wish I had known about multiple sources of income earlier in my life, I could have focused on having more incomes 30 years ago and be in even better financial shape today.

Now you know about this, you decide what to do.

What I would advise anyone new to network marketing, DO NOT go into debt buying products. If you have to choose between paying rent or a car payment, do not spend that money on network marketing stuff.  When I hear people filing for bankruptcy because of too many Amway tapes, products, or going to a weekend celebration you can't afford, I have to go back to what I always say, "Think for yourself, say no."  I did, so can you.  

I once saved for two years to comfortably afford a seminar I wanted to take. If you wait and save you will be buying without anxiety. That is the best way to buy.

I think it is long past time to stop the gibberish of claiming "network marketing" is a pyramid scheme.  That is an antiquated view of a very viable way to make honest money from your home.  Dog walking, raking leaves, house cleaning, Etsy, selling products on EBay, etc. anything to make extra money for a vacation or rainy day savings is good.  I know Ben Franklin would have tried them all, and he would make it work or move on to the next idea quickly.  He was successful because he was not afraid of trying something new.  BF was a corker!

  

  

Newborns in Daycare? You are Kidding Me right?

T. Barry Brazelton author of 25 books and pediatrician, did a show, “What Every Baby Knows” I watched every single day at noon while breastfeeding and rocking my babies in front of the TV.  Loved the man and his insight into a baby.  He seemed to have a sixth sense into the psyche of a child.

This man has so much impressive formal education (Wiki him) and experience with a happy smile on his face continually, I loved him. Sometimes he was the only adult I saw all day for weeks, outside of my husband. Loved his smile and such a happy demeanor!

He really promoted the importance for a parent to spend the first year with the baby at home and if you could spend the first 6 years at home with your child, even better.  Dr. Brazelton supported laws to be passed to give a parent 1 year with pay for maternity leave, but saw in single parent households this was not possible. 

I studied the mind and the effects of the first 6 years in particular and learned the foundation of that child’s life is formed in these early days.  Because of this and the fact I loved caring for our children I elected to stay with my children through the formative years. It is so amazing seeing the world for the first time through a child’s eyes. It renews the joy of living here in the Garden of Eden.

Researchers of the development of the human mind like Dr. Brazelton and Dr. Lipton know the importance of developing self-image, thinking positives, and teaching kindness in the formative years. If nothing else, I hoped to teach our children to be patient and kind by example.

Now I am surprised to know four new mothers that have a house of their own, a loving partner in their marriage, great college education with a skill to work outside the home when the children get older, who have elected to put their newborn in a daycare.  Now my 90+ y o mother said, “I did not know it was an option to leave a baby?”  I said, “Why would they? These couples have everything and more, but the desire to be a parent.” Parenting is a life altering responsibility, once started there is no “bail out.”

Then there is the extreme where we went hiking on a very steep, rocky mountain, and saw a couple with a 2 y o in a backpack, the baby was crying, black flies were biting her, she was hot, sweaty, and the hike took 2 hours up, and 2 hours down, she did not liking being strapped in while Mom and Dad hiked a dangerous rocky trail. I talked with them and they said, “We hike every weekend, we have since college and now the baby is here she is going with us, like it or not. She’ll learn to like hiking in time.”

No one with common sense would take a toddler there. My husband commented, “Those two are not ready to be parents.”

This generation of parents will be an interesting study.  These young parents have everything and more but they do not have the affection to put the child’s welfare above selfish wants.

If they did they would take the child home for at least the first year before dropping them off in daycare any day of the week or dragging the little thing up a mountain for hours. 

Children teach us more than we teach them but only if you keep them with you safe. No one loves you like your child.

I guess they are following their parents, if they were professionals they dropped their kids off so both parents could go to work, if they were a single parent they had to. Either way it will be interesting to see how the kids turn out. Oh yes, they will grow up and be alive, kids grow up without parental input everywhere, every day. 

Paradigm Put Me in a Pickle or is it the Other Way Round?

Paradigms at first are hard to understand. The idea that your subconscious is controlling your life's daily habits seems absurd to consider.  I have discovered so many unusual habits wasting my time and holding me back that keep creeping up on me when I least expect it.

For example the pickle jar. I was visiting my wonderful sister-in-law this summer and she introduced me to homemade Kombucha.  I loved it!  There is a scoby, a jellyfish like opaque orangish white 1/2 inch layer on top that makes the delicious Kombucha.

My sister-in-law had two containers she had on her counter to keep rotating the scoby and keep a steady supply ready every day.  So I returned home and shopped amazon to find new glass jars, the price was $38 each.  I said. "I'll check other places and I accidentally stumbled over large pickle jars in Walmart.  I bought 2 for $5 each.

When I returned home I realized I could not throw out perfectly good pickles.  So I put them in every large plastic container I had, thinking we'll eat these over time.  But we could not eat this many pickles and it took up too much room in our refrigerator.  So I thought, who could I donate the pickles to?  I called around and no one not even the homeless shelters.  Something about they cannot receive anything from a civilian, state laws.

So it was then, after about 2 weeks, that I discovered I had this paradigm fear, "Waste not, want not" is so ingrained in me coming from depression era parents that I started to  stress over putting the pickles down the garbage disposal.  I found I could put them down easier if I did not look, so I closed my eyes and shook the jar but the pickles got stuck.

Now I had to open my eyes and put my hand into the jar to pull each pickle out.  What trauma! "Wasting perfectly good food when there are starving people in the world," ran through my mind.

Finally I emptied the jar and had to put all the pickles stored in plastic containers in the refrigerator down the drain.  There was no room in the frig to put other items, I had to, I had to,  (Who the heck was I talking to?)  I felt like I was before a jury explaining my crime.

So that over, about a month later I realized I needed a jar to store scoby in and another one to rotate the liquids. When you start from scratch it takes a period of trial and error to get the right taste not too tart.  Once you get it going, the rotation is much easier.

I purchased two more pickle jars, after the holiday I had to go to 3 Walmarts to find them, sold out everywhere.  I purchased, came home, and hesitated a moment to put the pickles down the drain but was able to do it with much less thought and stress.  Good grief!  If I did not know I had a "pickle paradigm fear" holding me back until I made Kombucha, what else is lurking in my mind that may pop up at any time?   My mind can be a scary place without me knowing it.  🙈🙉🙊

Ben Franklin Wanted Us All to be in Charge of Our Own Lives, What Happened?

Books became a constant point of interest and information for me over the decades of my life to seek out answers to not only how to think and be positive but to see how other people of history lived. I was reading to see what obstacles they had to overcome if any and how they overcame them. What I discovered is that many of the "leaders" we Americans admire are not squeaky clean themselves.  Many came from harsh childhoods with dire financial situations. This kind of history makes for good business heads and ultimate success it seems, if you don't give up.

Men like Benjamin Franklin fascinate me. He was born the son of a soap maker in Boston, MA.  As was customary for a male, he was sent to his brother as an apprentice to learn a trade. His brother had a newspaper and Benjamin was not the most attentive student. When he worked for his brother, (At one point his brother was jailed for daring to write a piece against the governor at that time. BF was greatly influenced by this event.)Not only did this article sell many newspapers, he noticed the general public enjoyed articles that challenged the establishment.

BF’s brother would not allow him to write for the paper, so at 15 y o, he decided to write in to the publisher as a widow, pen name “Silence Dogood.”  He decided he would write things that were morally upright to influence the readers to be morally good people. But BF would not stay here long, BF was not as attentive as his brother thought he should be and because of this, his brother beat him constantly. (Beating your apprentice was allowed) Tired of being beaten and not one to conform, Benjamin ran away.

He ran to Philadelphia, PA and became a fugitive working in print shops setting type until at 17 he went to England on the quest of Governor Keith to buy equipment to start another paper.  

But when he sailed across the ocean to London, England and needed money promised by Keith to buy the equipment, Keith did not send it. Alone, he continued to work in printing shops and returned to America. Can you imagine being alone in a foreign country with no money at such a young age? He worked and earned passage home. Great example of fearlessness to imitate.

Upon his return he was living in a boarding house owned and run by a widow and her daughter, after some time he proposed to the daughter but the daughter could not marry him because she had been married previously and the man ran off with her dowry, and never returned. This left the woman unable to remarry because of bigamy laws. She was not able to divorce the husband without his presence to sign.  This did not stop BF, he established a common law marriage with Deborah Read.  Deborah was a business woman like her mother who ran the boarding house.  

BF liked an independent woman. 

Independent she was, later when he announced he was going to France as the Minister to France, he had not built her the house he promised her for years.  Deborah knowing what a wandering soul he was, knew that even though he promised to return in 2-3 years, to begin the house upon his return that he may not come back for 10.  So as soon as BF was on the ship, she made the plans and built the house by herself.  (She was the shopkeeper of another business she and BF had begun.) She managed the store, she arranged the architect to draw up blueprints, hired the workmen, and managed the finances of all successfully. It was good that she did because years later, (He was gone 15 years,) she would become sick and die before he could make it back. I’m thankful she was able to support herself and build the house of her dreams. My God what a woman!

While in Europe BF was intrigued by the lifestyle of the Aristocratic society and they were curious about this wild frontiersman from America.  When the elites saw his raccoon hat, everyone wanted to buy it.  Always looking for ways to make money, BF jumped on this idea and sent word back to the colonies to have these hats made by the dozens.  Every box sent to him, he sold out. He sold to the elite for $25 apiece. Wherever he was, he found ways to make money.  BF was a free spirit and he wanted us all to be free spirits too living in this new land.

BF was a creative mind,because of the talker he was and the salesman he was, France embraced him and he stayed in the finest castles and homes while there. He even was seen by another American diplomat that would report back home, that BF was sitting in a bath tub with an older woman, feet to feet with a board between them, across the tub playing chess.  This bath was full of ice water, replenished periodically by servants to keep the occupants cool in the hot weather.  He was not concerned about being judged by anyone, that he was married, neither was she.  Ooh la la…   He just lived. 

Now I don’t know what BF said to himself in times like these considering he started writing at such a young age 12, writing his “Mrs. Dogood” column to influence the higher morality of the American people but my God, I love his free spirit and his powerful position in congress that put in place many mechanisms to keep the citizens of our land, free from tyranny, free from royal rule, free to make our own commerce. 

He started out his life as common as you and me. He made his way by working from the ground up, and he was not afraid to make money and he knew to do that you had to have a business of your own that operated when you were not there. His wife ran his shop and their farm back in the states while he was absent. I’m sure multi-level marketing would have been one of his businesses. The idea of a customer logging in and shopping online while he slept would have thrilled him!  I know it does me! 

This mentality that we need a boss, or government to take care of us our entire life is to be weakened of our potential.  We each have something of value to give to the world, but we have to change our paradigm.  We have to get out of this brainwashing that we are not able, especially women, like me, we have to get out of the house and out from behind the pants leg of our men.  I know these fears well, I have lived them. I’m changing my paradigm. (My sub-conscious beliefs)

Here’s a tip: My experience has proven that men in general in this USA do not mind women being a “leader” of their own business and life.  They just don’t want to be left behind, forgotten, seen as weak, it is their nature to protect and provide. A woman with knowledge and kindness in her speech that never wavers excites strong men and inspires them.

Ben Franklin did have something not everyone has…emigrant parents/grand parents that came here with a will to be free.  How lucky you are to have emigrant parents, if you do, with that fire in their belly to be free, honest, citizens’ to give you a better life.  

This is something I have forgotten at times, how wonderful is to be born here. At times I have taken my American life for granted, when we have it all here we need only to reach out and legally go after it with a strong backbone and kind voice.

Ben Franklin was a huge proponent of free speech and helped put it into law. By the time of his death he had his eyes open that all government in time can turn into a despotic one, it seems the nature of man.  That the “leader” can give him/her self-exemption from all laws.  This kind of division can make the states separate and find ruin from within.  A governing body is needed whenever people gather but with limited powers lest the people who agreed to the formation of it for "individual freedom" be forgot.

If you want to have an online business here's a suggestion of the one I chose, "Isagenix" but you can choose one of your own.  If you want the finest vitamins and supplements, (not full of fillers) protein shakes, these are a good choice.  You can go to: www.candynewton.isagenix.com  sign yourself up to buy your own vitamins, sent to your door no less, no pressure. All the information is online to answer your questions.  If you can’t find an answer email me, I can direct you to a source that can.  

Join another MLM of your choice, the lesson here is get started now, there are many out there, many of them are good. Do your research, choose wisely. Tomorrow I will write about things to consider before joining one, things we learned the hard way so you don't have to. I know Ben would have joined one for sure. He had his hands in everything to make money. BF would have done his research.

We are one.

I Love all Religions but I like My Crown in Heaven the Best

As a self-proclaimed Christian predominantly for many years, I loved designing the jewels in my crown by my random acts of kindness.  I pretended that whenever I did a good deed it would decide the size of the jewels in my crown.

And here's the breakdown:

A 60 carat diamond would be set in the crown for a major act of selflessness, example donate a kidney to someone or dive into alligator infested waters to save a child.

Now a 30 carat diamond would be worth: bring a person into your home to let them live with you until they got back on their feet, 6 months or less, providing food, shelter, bed, etc.

A 20 carat would be give someone $2000 or less as a loan never expecting to have it repaid even if the person promised she/he would.

A 10 carat would be buying someone a set of tires or paying for their train ticket to their home, or giving someone a free ride to move them across country to their new residence.

A 5 carat diamond would be helping someone find a house, car, or job when they had no clue where to look.

A 3 carat diamond is worth a hug to a complete stranger after listening to their tale of woe with tears in their eyes.

A 1 carat diamond is worth words of encouragement to anyone you encounter that tells you of their troubles, a simple, All will be well... All is well... and a thumbs up as you depart and wink.

Now anything less than a carat is really not of interest to me but a few 1 or 1/2 carat rubies, to represent a virtuous woman is welcomed. 

So for a 1 or 1/2 ruby, here's the breakdown:

This is for every time I give a peace sign to someone shooting me the bird for God knows what...I drive but don't always know what I do that makes others mad...I just see the bird. 😁

Or for giving an old woman $5 to buy that rat trap she wanted but could not afford in the grocery store.

Or donating an artificial fireplace to a veteran’s hospital for the rec room.

Or volunteer work anywhere.

Or for letting that wreckless driver in ahead of me so she/he will not kill them-self, or being kind when someone cuts me off in traffic, or takes my parking spot.

Or waiting line patiently without saying, "Why aren't there more cashiers open? This is ridiculous!"   Or being kind when I'm told they sold the last one just before I got to the front of a line I had waited in for two hours.  Or keeping my tongue silent when I am being preached to that I'm going to hell because of my beliefs.

Or not getting mad if my credit card is declined when I know I have money in the bank.

I've been working on these jewels for 45 years.  No one told me to design the crown I just did and every time I did something for anyone that did not thank me, I would say, "It's Ok, I'm encrusting jewels in a crown that I will wear in heaven for eternity, and this made me smile and give more another day without expecting anything in return.

The crown I was working on for heaven does not exist but the happiness I have developed in the acts of selflessness has brought me such joy and peace that the crown does not matter. Giving to people even if they don't contact me again, even if they don't thank me, even if they don't know it was me, I know now by helping each of them, I was helping me.

Just for the record I don't know if I'll ever have that 60 carat diamond but I have read of people that do.  We are all one. We all want peace.

Excuse Us All for Getting it Right the First Time

The spiritual world and the five senses world are constantly written about, spoken about, taught to people that the two are separate. Some divide it further and add the mind.  My research has proven to me that the three are one in the same.  The need to bring the three together is unnecessary because the three are one in the same.  The only separation is in our minds. And this separation makes for mass confusion.

This is one reason I had to resign from religious teachings.  I always knew this was not true. I joined a Biblical Research Ministry to study deeper the scriptures and I found my theory was correct.

As a matter of fact it was my deep researching skills that lead me to the fact that God is not in one religion, person, name, and when I realized this I wanted to write a paper on my findings and the ministry told me I could not.  I had to submit an outline discussing the thesis I was proposing to write before I graduated and it was given back to me, telling me to pick another topic.  When I questioned further why, I was told the topic is too broad and really could not be defined. I disagreed then and definitely disagree now I found truth.

The 5 months I had before the paper was due would decide something much bigger for us, to withdraw from this ministry.  Joining this ministry, the best thing that ever happened to me, leaving this ministry was now the best thing that happened to me.  Maybe one day I will write about why but for today I make the point that this research also lead me to study the mind, thoughts, and energy.  There is no separation between mind, body and spirit. Our thoughts are so fast and full of noise, we can't hear our body tell us our truth.

Each of believes what makes us comfortable to believe.  Most of us believe what we were taught to believe, if like me, that does not feel comfortable, we search further. 

Dr. Bruce Lipton teaches how body and spirit are one. His book, The Biology of Belief goes in depth how our beliefs (our thoughts) hard wire us and how we can change them if we choose.  It takes conscious awareness.  He studied and worked with another doctor involved early on with stem cell research and we know that was controversial.  But just because he is a doctor and wrote a book doesn't mean I have to believe him or that he has the truth.  

What is unbelievable to me is that we were convinced that we could ever be separate from God (reality) in the first place.  Who taught me this?  Who can possibly be born again?  Must be the same guy that invented the “Trinity.” God in three persons, blessed trinity…I sang it and every time I did,

“I said this is not possible, why God (the Creator of a perfectly ordered universe) would say such a non-sensible thing? This is like reading a Dr. Seuss book. Bring some reality into this teaching, please."

I’m going to have to go with Dennis Miller when he heard of the "Born Again Christians"

He responded, "Excuse me for getting it right the first time!"  

We all did.

He Always Comes Up Smelling Like a Rose

There is a Peace Village located up the road from me at Hunter Mountain. The Brahma Kumaris is run by yogis that volunteer there. It is funded through donations from the public and The United Nations.  You can check out their website and go to a retreat there to learn different things.  I went there for a workshop called "The Artist Within." Occasionally I go to their annual festival, so many interesting and beautiful displays from all over the world.  Food, dance, art, music, it is a fun day.

This festival had a display of the work of Dr. Masuru Emoto.  His experiment fascinated me because I study the mind, thoughts, and energy, and his experiment involved all three. His theory was to prove the energy of words, ultimately what it does to anything including water.  

Dr. Emoto put water from the same source into two containers, one labelled "hate" the other labelled "love."  Then the test is to say hateful things to the one labelled "hate," and then say loving things to the other one.  After two weeks he froze the two waters, put shavings under a microscope.  The positive water produced symmetrical crystals, while the negative water produced malformed crystals.

I guess he needed to freeze the water to melt it on the slide?

Anyway a self-help teacher wrote about the experiment in her book and asked her readers to do the same experiment with an apple. Cut it in two, put one half in a clear cup or set it on a plate, say negative things to it, and in another part of the house put the other half,when you walk by say positive things to it for two weeks.  I have never done this experiment but you can read about it, it's called The Big Apple Experiment.  The results were said to be the same, one half negative rotted faster than the other one. See picture online, you GTS.  (Google That Sh*t)

This experiment intrigues me because although I have never done either of these, I do know what it feels like to be criticized and cut down often.  It made me sad and rotten inside until one day I began to think for myself and became much, much, happier.  I surrounded myself with more positive thoughts and people and I became balanced, happy, and excited about life.  So I believe this experiment has merit.

Last week my daughter and son-in-law sent me a huge bouquet of roses.  Because I go out to work most of the day, I made a vase and put a few roses in it to carry in the cup holder of my car.  My Sweetheart was going out of town and we were on such different schedules that we would not see each other for a few days.  I decided I wanted him to be reminded of me so I put a rose in an empty Kombucha bottle to put in the carry cup of his car.  

He said every time he looked at that rose it made him smile.  When he would hear a song on the radio that reminded him of us, he would smile at the rose.  When he would ride by a restaurant or place we had visited together, he would smile at the rose.

He got home put the rose on the counter where he could see it every day. When he went by he thought of me and smiled.

Now my big bouquet has lasted longer than expected but the bouquet is dying naturally. His single rose is looking so much better than the rest that I thought of this experiment when he showed it to me. Now you may say that this rose experiment is malarkey, but my husband wonders why his "rose" is so alive.  I don't know but if it has anything to do with the love he and I have for one another...

I say Dr. Emoto has got it right!  Here's Charlie's rose and my bouquet on the table, you decide.

So I asked my Sweetheart if he would like to try The Big Apple Experiment, his first response was "Why do we have to say negative things to one half of the apple?  That half didn't do anything to deserve to be negative!'  

I'm not sure about reincarnation, but I think I may be married to Buddha.

Compassion Is Not Learned, It is in Our Blood by Birth

The first compassion each of us experiences is from our mother, The Dalai Lama explains, "When we are born the first act of compassion comes from her to give us milk."  She continues along with her mother and other women to nurture and care for each of us, no religion teaches our mother to so this, she does this by nature, therefore it is in all our blood to be compassionate, we are one.

There is compassion in men. How many times do men come to the rescue of animal, child, and others in the most desperate situations?  Men dive into rushing waters to save a dog, men hang from helicopter ropes to rescue a person from a burning building, men go to the door to defend anyone in a domestic violence call, they defend and protect by nature.  They can be so wonderful when they are not angry and confused.  But then, we are all nicer when we are not angry or confused.

My study of my own angry and how to get rid of it has been a life time journey of discovery for me. To know how to get rid of anger I had to dissect why I became angry in the first place.  I also found that anger unresolved lead me to bitterness.

What I discovered is I became angry over feelings of helplessness when I was taken advantage of or lied to, betrayed over something I valued greatly, to be falsely accused of  a wrongdoing or just not being listened to, being made to sit down and be quiet when I had done nothing wrong. (This was done by family) I'm sure our children could share stories where I am guilty of doing the same.

In adulthood my anger came when I was made to do things for a paycheck I did not want to do. (Mind you I have never gone against my morals) It might have offended me, my sense of morality, my principles, my high standards not shared by another person, someone in charge I have to get along with to complete my job.  (Nothing worst than working for a person that gives no praise even though you do excellent work but is quick to criticize without all the facts)  Still we sometimes have to work for these neophytes till we don't.  These people do not bother me anymore, way past this now.

When I was young I did not understand myself or anyone else. There were no teachings at our house except "pray, turn the other cheek, go ask for forgiveness" from someone when it was not your fault, and "I don't know the answer, but I know HIM that does, let's pray."  This never solved anything for me.  In life you need to know when to stand up, how to speak up, and who to speak up to and when to speak for yourself and when to stay silent to benefit yourself and others. To stay silent constantly is to have no confidence in your ability to affect a positive outcome.

Years later I began to wonder, what happened to both of my parents as they were growing up to make them so naive and ignorant of the world and how to live in it?  They did not receive the loving support or sage wisdom needed to be strong and confident about themselves and they cannot teach what they do not know.  (I did find my father knew more than he let on)

I was determined to find these answers to teach myself, heal myself, to move on and be in control of my life. I wanted a happy life and I have achieved it.  Starts with repetition of a good thought, if you can think one good thought you can think two good thoughts, if you can think two good thoughts, you can think three good thoughts, more good thoughts follow when that dopamine is flowing. 😉

So many teachers here in the Garden of Eden now.  I use to rely solely on public library books but now we have the internet, bookstores and seminars online! What a most wonderfully evolved time to be alive! We can learn how to heal the world through compassionate teachings on You Tube!  Thank you Eckhart, Byron Katie, Dalai Lama, and anyone else that makes you happy that you follow, it's all good, it's all the same end result. We are one, compassion is in our blood.