An Iron Will Saved Me

When I was in college in my 40's I was struggling with test taking and went to doctors to find out why. I was diagnosed with ADHD. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)  My mother used to say, "You were born with running shoes on and I could not keep up with you, you wore me out!"  Now I know why.  

I read Dr. Daniel Amen's book on ADHD and went to his clinic in Reston,VA for a brain scan and evaluation by his team of specialized psychiatrists. After three days it was determined from my brain scans and a 300 question survey that I have mild to moderate ADHD and my brain is wired for ANTS. I have clinical depression and there is nothing I can do about the ANTS, (Automatic Negative Thinking)  I was told.   These ANTS will cause me to go to the negative viewpoint every time I think a thought because my brain is wired by DNA to do this. The ADHD is a chemical imbalance in my brain, that through natural supplements may be controlled and if not, prescription drugs could help me manage it.

The biggest surprise to the psychiatrist was that I was not an alcoholic or drug abuser.  I was asked about my personal life from birth to now in the 300 question survey and I answered honestly. As a matter of fact, they could not believe that anyone with my past could make it to my age without becoming an addict. So they asked my husband to come in separately from me in another office and they privately asked him if I was a "closet" alcoholic or drug addict. He told them, "Not her, no way!"

The doctors had me join them again with my husband and he told us both, "You," looking at me, "Have an iron will. Not something we see often given your history and diagnosis, very unusual."

I must say this, my stubbornness to be honest and upright, not engage in illegal activities, DO the morally right thing every time, even if I stand alone, comes from my dear Father, but the ability to KNOW what the right, loving thing is, and never exclude another person because of race, religion, politics, etc. came from my dear Mother.

My own search for answers to my confusion about life, my purpose, my way to survive on my own, led me to explore the world of thought, including other religions, other cultures, etc. (To do this I continue to read many books, and listen to lectures online.) This I know for sure, peace comes from within no outside circumstance can make it so.

Tomorrow more about ANTS in the world...