Paradigm Put Me in a Pickle or is it the Other Way Round?

Paradigms at first are hard to understand. The idea that your subconscious is controlling your life's daily habits seems absurd to consider.  I have discovered so many unusual habits wasting my time and holding me back that keep creeping up on me when I least expect it.

For example the pickle jar. I was visiting my wonderful sister-in-law this summer and she introduced me to homemade Kombucha.  I loved it!  There is a scoby, a jellyfish like opaque orangish white 1/2 inch layer on top that makes the delicious Kombucha.

My sister-in-law had two containers she had on her counter to keep rotating the scoby and keep a steady supply ready every day.  So I returned home and shopped amazon to find new glass jars, the price was $38 each.  I said. "I'll check other places and I accidentally stumbled over large pickle jars in Walmart.  I bought 2 for $5 each.

When I returned home I realized I could not throw out perfectly good pickles.  So I put them in every large plastic container I had, thinking we'll eat these over time.  But we could not eat this many pickles and it took up too much room in our refrigerator.  So I thought, who could I donate the pickles to?  I called around and no one not even the homeless shelters.  Something about they cannot receive anything from a civilian, state laws.

So it was then, after about 2 weeks, that I discovered I had this paradigm fear, "Waste not, want not" is so ingrained in me coming from depression era parents that I started to  stress over putting the pickles down the garbage disposal.  I found I could put them down easier if I did not look, so I closed my eyes and shook the jar but the pickles got stuck.

Now I had to open my eyes and put my hand into the jar to pull each pickle out.  What trauma! "Wasting perfectly good food when there are starving people in the world," ran through my mind.

Finally I emptied the jar and had to put all the pickles stored in plastic containers in the refrigerator down the drain.  There was no room in the frig to put other items, I had to, I had to,  (Who the heck was I talking to?)  I felt like I was before a jury explaining my crime.

So that over, about a month later I realized I needed a jar to store scoby in and another one to rotate the liquids. When you start from scratch it takes a period of trial and error to get the right taste not too tart.  Once you get it going, the rotation is much easier.

I purchased two more pickle jars, after the holiday I had to go to 3 Walmarts to find them, sold out everywhere.  I purchased, came home, and hesitated a moment to put the pickles down the drain but was able to do it with much less thought and stress.  Good grief!  If I did not know I had a "pickle paradigm fear" holding me back until I made Kombucha, what else is lurking in my mind that may pop up at any time?   My mind can be a scary place without me knowing it.  🙈🙉🙊