Raccoons and Thacher State Park

My husband decided to take me to the upper level where the telescopes are located and the view is magnificent.  He had taken me there on our first date, TSP was open at night then, and we went there to see the lights of cities and the stars after dinner at The Lark Tavern with live music.

When we arrived there on August 16, 1988, it was a perfect warm night with a cool summer breeze. The annual Altamont Fair down below and the sparkling lights of the fair made the view below

even more beautiful.  My Sweetheart set up a card table, spread a table cloth, put up a candle, wine glasses for a toast, brought out the Chinese food and had just set the mood for a romantic dinner.  The effort and thought he put into this was heart warming.

So as we toasted and his conversation went to our ten years and how happy my husband was, I had to be honest with him and tell him how unhappy I was.  This is what I learned...

He like most men, do not know you are unhappy unless you tell them directly AND men do not know how to fix this.  However if you give them specific ways they can help you, and IF a man truly loves you, (this is a really important detail) he will endeavor to do the things you ask of him.

We went over many things that night and it ended with the understanding that we would compromise most of the time and other times not compromise, do our own thing, (Not anything that would disgrace or harm the other) and agree to disagree.  I felt a load was lifted off my shoulders and in time I would come to know, I PUT THAT BURDEN ON MYSELF by believing traditional marriage expectations of the duties of a husband and wife, I knew I was doing my part but he was not doing his.  Truth is, he did not know or care what the traditional duties were, he lived life on his terms.

The rest of the meal we laughed and joked as the old friends we started out to be when first we were attracted to one another 12 years ago.  A raccoon mother and her 5 babies joined us for dinner.  They climbed up on the wall and traveled up to the table for our food.  I cut our egg rolls into several slices and gave a slice to each raccoon as it came up to the table.  The raccoons were so dear, the night was so clear you could see the fair, and the man I had begun to detest became my best friend I use to know so well.

And just when I thought life could not get any better, a car dove up, out jumped a photographer who asked why we were there.  When he heard we were celebrating our 10th Anniversary he took our picture and said he would send it to us as a gift. I thought my Sweetheart had arranged this photographer as a surprise, but no, it was another gift from the universe certifying to me, I married the right man.  (The photographer worked for the TU paper and was up here to get a photo of the fair for the paper.)

I have this photo somewhere and I will find it and post here for you to see one day...

My Dad use to say, "Getting married is easy, staying married is the hard part."