Daddy, Me, Aunt Bee and the Happy Dance

Daddy was out of town a lot.  We did not see him much, he was not the kind of father that sat at a ball field to support his little league ball players, or would come to a dance recital. He left this to Mother to do, they were opposite in many ways.

"Marry the right person. This one decision, who you marry, can determine 90% of your happiness or misery. ~ H. Jackson Brown Jr. ~ 

Daddy used to say, "Women are a luxury, few men can afford. If it was up to us men, we could pitch a tent down by the river and be happy. Women are the ones that want everything else."

Daddy… was a character, he laughed, told jokes and listened to me. He was an old Army Sargent who left the military against his will on medical discharge. He wanted to be a 'lifer' but that would not be after he was involved in a Jeep accident that almost took his life and ended his career.  

Now, 15 years later he still got up each morning at 6 and exercised in the living room before making breakfast for everyone.  I was excited when he was in town. He listened to me. The most important thing he ever gave me was his unconditional consideration of what I said and what I wanted.  Then without judging me, he would offer his sage advice. He was good like that. As an atheist, I noticed he was much happier in general, than my Christian mother.  

Today he wanted to take me to lunch. He had heard the Fairview Dairy Bar had good food and it was just up the street from our house and asked if I would like to try it out? I welcomed any time to talk with him. (I was 16 y o. at the time.) 

As we sat, having lunch in the dairy bar two things happened that I'll always remember:

1) A man came over to the table and winked at Daddy and asked, "Who is this pretty little mistress?"  My father looked up and harshly spoke to the man, "This is my daughter! Who do you think you are suggesting such a thing?"  The man apologized as he acknowledged me with a nod, and said, he did not know LM had any daughters, they talked briefly about something else, and the man left.  I might have been young but I knew what that man insinuated and I knew my father was offended.  As we continued eating, we did not speak of that man and what he said, we just talked about my life and what was going on with me. And later...

 2) Miss Frances Bavier came in to have lunch.  I turned to Daddy and said, "Look, there's Miss Bee from Mayberry TV!"  There she stood at the counter, white gloves, dark suit, pearl necklace, hair in a bun, no hat, pocketbook over her arm with a gentleman, asking for a table. She looked just the same as she did on that TV show. We left as she was being seated.

Daddy said, "I don't know her, I don't watch TV."  😏

The only time my Daddy took me alone, with him out to eat, was memorable. Most of all I remember my father smiling and laughing with me, and of course “Miss Bee.”

                                                            ~

This story is an example of focusing on the positive, the fact that my father spent little to no time with my brother or me, was my reality.  He was unsuccessfully trying to overcome his own depression, he felt he was a failure in life, and was self-medicating through alcohol. Later he would tell me he thought we all were better off without him around.  Sometimes when he was around he could be kind and he was wise.  He did listen to me like no one else.

                         

As an adult I take responsibility for my life, I don’t blame anyone anymore.  

The power is in the positive focus, I know the negative facts but I keep my thoughts focused on the positive. This is where I found forgiveness and acceptance of him and moved forward in my own life. I believe in forgiveness for sure but I don’t believe I need to forget anything as long as I can look back with no judgment. Judgment, that’s where the pain continues. I have no pain concerning my father any more.

♫ I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind, I think I can make it now the pain is gone...♬

Thank you Johnny Nash for a great song! I'm learning to add videos to blog, if this doesn't play here, go to you tube and dance! 

And now for the Happy Dance! Oh yes, I am shaking my bootie to Johnny's song! Come on, get up, do the happy dance with me...All is well...all will be well...