Low Maintenance Friendships

Today is the birthday of a dear friend. We have known each other for over twenty years.  We became friends because I pursued the friendship after meeting her the first time.  I felt a kindred spirit in her. One of my first attraction to any friend, male or female, is the desire to take care of our children's needs first, before personal ambition or the obtaining of more things that require more time away from the kids.  Kids need time with you, not more things, not new cars or a bigger house, or even a vacation, they need and want you, their mom and dad with them as much as possible.

I believe once the children are here, the focus should be on them.  Not to spoil them and hand them everything they want but to teach them how to be kind and work for things they want.  Teach them they are not entitled to anything because they are so special. This stunts creativity, growth, and makes them selfish, always wanting more stuff.  Why pursue anything if everything is handed to you?

Now we have lead very different lives, her, a single Mom raising a son on her own and me a married lady of many years.  She and I like solitude, silence, reading, writing, canoeing, hiking, being independent as well as thrifty.  We love each other because we connect on many levels. I have such respect for her and how she has lead her life and raised her son.  She has overcome so much with a positive attitude.   What I may like best about our friendship is we are both "low maintenance."

We are so busy living life and taking care of our family that we have little time to meet for coffee or go to lunch every month.  We don't hang out on weekends, we see each other once or twice a year that begins with dinner and ends with us sitting in one or the other's car all night talking till the sun comes up, catching up on our lives.  We meet and it is as if we never were apart and we leave hugging, somewhat tearful because we love each other so much, we treasure each time together. The longest we went without seeing one another I believe was 2 years one time but we talked on the phone twice.  Whenever I think of her, I always hold her in high regard. Good lady.

This is about as friendly as I get. I love being alone, doing my thing and so does she.

There is another woman I met about 2 years ago through my work.  She, a single lady with a career that loves helping her family.  She has never been married or had children but she is devoted to her sister and her kids.  We were attracted to one another because of our similar work ethics.  We strive for personal excellence and  believe honest, open, communication is always best in any situation.  Over time I have found she also has overcome many obstacles in her life with a positive attitude and a focus on her family and how she can best serve them. When don't see each other at work because of different schedules, it does not matter, we pick up where we left off, again low maintenance friend. Good lady.

What I have found in these friends and me, is we love simple things. We enjoy simple comforts.  I love kayaking on a river on a hot summer day and wedging my kayak in two roots in the water and taking a nap in my kayak, without a clock to wake me.  My close friend likes to snowshoe miles into the mountains and stay all weekend in a shack by herself while she edits and reads.  My friend at work visits a family camp every summer to relax in nature and can think of nothing more comfortable than being wrapped in a cuddly blanket (With her favorite animal print a "bear" on it) and rock in her glider rocker. We all love spending time in nature, sitting in front of a fire, being present.

No matter what greater things life may have in store for all of us, for now we appreciate the little things, the simple life we have now, and "low maintenance" friendships.