We Just Disagree, One more day...

Sweetheart wants to let our cat die naturally no matter how painful it is for me to watch, he believes animals want to live until they cannot anymore and animals suffer pain come what may. Animals are not human.  Cats live in each moment, happy to be here until not.  His beliefs are valid.

I believe once a disease is terminal and there is no turning back, to let anything I love die a painful death is unconscionable when we have the power to euthanize the pet to go out pain free.  Our son visited and patiently wiped the bloody mouth of this cat with mouth cancer.  Patiently mixed every type of baby food and cat food to help the cat eat to no avail.  Sat with, slept with, petted, and walked with this cat he loved as a child. He stayed the week ad had to get back to his life knowing he would never see his cat alive again.  Now our daughter wants to come see the cat and say good bye. A beloved niece came to say goodbye to the cat and we see an animal is really a family member not just a pet.

The eldest son came last weekend thinking like me, we were putting him down and burying him, until Sweetheart objected.  This impending death of this cat has brought many unsaid emotions to the surface of our relationships.  So I step back as I always do when disagreements get heated.  I let things settle, I do not make any moves.  I do not want the cat upset either.

I have studied Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle for a while and I go to the process that is taught to get centered again.  There is no peace outside, only inner peace.  What is the most loving thing to do for all concerned?  So today my peace inside is knowing what my wise daughter told me a week ago, "This is a process and must be allowed to be played out for Dad (Sweetheart) and Baby."  

So I rest, saying "Let not mine, but thy will be done."  These people I love so much are dealing with this death in their way and I am not the big "I" that knows best.  The cat is on meds for pain and comfort antibiotics.  As my youngest said before he left, "See, Baby enjoyed another evening on the deck, looking out one more day that he would not have had if we had put him down last week."

True, every moment Baby lives another moment is precious to the humans but is just life as it comes to this Zen creature. One more day...Peace to this house.

How a Movie Script Made People Believe a Line that was not True

In the movie Pollyanna, David Swift wrote the screenplay.  In it he has a locket with an inscription on it that Pollyanna wears around her neck as a constant reminder of words her father told.  The inscription reads "If you look for the bad in people, expecting to find it, you surely will." Reverend Ford then says, "Abraham Lincoln." Pollyanna did not confirm his answer, she just told the Reverend her father gave her this locket and let him read it. (And why she plays the "Glad Game.")

Now David Swift made that line up for the movie but many people believe Abe Lincoln said it. If you google Lincoln's quotes, there it is.  David Swift admits he made it up but a movie seems to have made it true when it is not.  All these years later no one questions it.  Now it may be a detail that really is not important in the movie because the meaning is a positive one but the point is "if you tell an untruth enough, people will start to believe anything."

Makes thinking for yourself more important.

 

Let me hear your unusual cat stories...

The farm had a cat that was deaf and his neck was crooked to the left because of a sickness he had as a kitten.  The sickness seems to have made his neck muscles paralyzed on that side.  He walked in circles always going to the left.  You always knew eventually he would come back to the same spot if you waited long enough.  His name was "Lefty."

500 years ago heirs could not choose, today we can and do...

Times are changing.  500 years ago when one person started a farm, a business, and it was successful the next generation was expected to follow in father’s footsteps.  Starting anything in this country was hard.  There were no transportation, no cars, no railways, no bridges, roads, airplanes were an unfathomable phenomenon.  No banks or investors stateside... Success took pure ingenuity, education, slave labor or political connections. Inventions here all new.

So the generation that made it through prohibition, entertainment, gambling, saloons, brothels, lying , cheating, robbery, acted out of desperation to be millionaires and live an opulent life only heard of in other continents.  Desire, want, need.  Some figured it out, others did not.  So we are the descendants of a collage of reverends and horse thieves.  Some relatives were both. 

Today, the goal to be millionaire is no more.  Billionaire is the new millionaire.  Why? Because many have figured out how to make a million and the opulent life is now the one of trillionaires.  The reality is that this generation has available to them choices like never before in history.  Opportunities for all to go to school regardless of a wealthy family.  Anyone can put a business together and try to turn a profit regardless of race or religion.  Anyone can run for public office.  This country has great opportunity for men and women.

So out with the old, in with the new ideas of this generation. This generation is not desperate to be millionaires.  This generation wants to make money to give to start foundations that help mankind.  This generation wants to extend a helping hand to all and not focus on materialism.  And because the world is changing for the better, heirs can leave the farm, leave family businesses, go out into the world to pursue individual goals and be successful at it.  They can choose their life based on their desires not the last generation’s business, possessions, expectations.  Freedom is choice and choice is here, now. What a wonderful world…

Samuel F Morse an American Leonardo?

There is a house in Poughkeepsie I ride by often.  At first I noticed it was "Locust Grove."  The traffic races by the estate so swiftly it was a while before I noticed the name "Samuel F Morse" on an adjacent plaque, of course I knew he was the inventor of the telegraph and Morse code.  I decided to stop in and discovered his first ambition was to be a world famous artist with all the fame and fortune that would come with that.

His father like most successful artists, scientists and inventors' fathers (of history went to college) received a divinity degree from Yale.  His parents sacrificed and supported Samuel to help him achieve his dream of being this artist.  Samuel also went to Yale and used his contacts there to introduce himself to wealthy families to obtain a commission to paint their portraits in oil.  Not getting the work he thought he would, he decided to go to London to the Royal Academy, maybe he would find his fortune there.

To raise money for the voyage, he decided to do oil reproductions of the famous painters of the day and he sold these for $300 each.  ($6000 in today's currency) When in Europe he made friends with many new age thinkers.  In a conversation on a voyage back to America he first had the idea to make conversations transmittable across distances.  Together with friends the telegraph was invented and Samuel finally received the fame and fortune that he so desired.

With the royalties he built the Tuscany Villa estate at Locust Grove and bought a penthouse in NYC.  His family preferred the city, Samuel preferred Locust Grove. Summers were spent in Poughkeepsie with the family but upon his death the family rented the property.  In 1902 the renters(Young family) purchased the property and displayed their own artwork and collections from their world travels.  The Young family had two children who worked to preserve the site for public enjoyment and used their inheritance to form a foundation to fund the restoration and upkeep of Locust Grove.

Today the house has hiking trails to the Hudson River which I did hike and listened to see trains going back and forth to the city and Rensselaer station on tracks in front of the river.

My many tours and books read by me, on the lives of people who made a significant difference in the world has lead me to see that starting out in life with kind and supportive parents that give their time and money for each child to realize their dream, alongside as much formal education as possible is key to a successful outcome. It is rare, really rare for a person to rise to their fullest potential without the love and support of a relative and an education to point out the possibilities as well as introduce one to the many other people in the world.

It is a lot easier to find your interest and explore what can be when you start out with structure, a moral code of ethics, supportive and positive parents with opportunities to an education.  And if you did not have this, you first begin with learning you are enough.  You begin with being "thankful for what you have so you can have more" in the future.  Anger, bitterness, victimhood, martyrhood, will sap the energy of your creativity until you make peace within yourself and move on.

Foundational needs such as food and housing must be established by individuals to move forward in education and interest.  It seems if emotional needs are not peaceful, all else may bring physical satisfaction but life will be fraught with sadness and loneliness.

The only peace on earth we'll ever have is within ourself.  I have been on this road my entire life. Because I have found much peace, I write to possibly help others find theirs.

Believing your thoughts can make you crazy, even make you think you are better off dead...

Sweetheart says he has never thought of ending his life no matter what happened.  There are those who say,"Everyone thinks of checking out at some time or another, simply is NOT true.  Some people like the slow death caused by their addiction, food, alcohol, drug, sex, water, exercise, anorexia, negative thinking, rage, anger, whatever is done in excess will eventually kill you. The human body heals with right thinking, right foods, right exercise, enough sleep, the body will live. The problem is we think our thoughts are our body but in reality the two are connected only if you believe it.

The minute you come out of your desperate thoughts, peace.  The minute the mania passes, peace. The fantasy that you are your thoughts once realized as not true, the beginning of the healing process. Many great teachers of the mind and how it works teach this but few of us accept this and try to live it.  This attachment to our ego's thoughts causes depression, anxiety, and every dysfunctional behavior we display.  Genetics throw us a curve ball at times, and maybe we cannot overcome an inherited disease easily...maybe we can learn to manage it, but so much of what we endure is caused by stressful thinking. Byron Katie helps relieve this stress through her teachings. (YouTube)

Can managing our thought heal mental illness? Some say "Yes" some say, "No."  I think it is up to the individual.  Want to live a life on pharmaceuticals? Or find a way to manage your life by not succumbing to them?  The choice is yours.  Not easy, takes discipline and focus.

I study everyday to manage my thoughts.  I'll let you know what develops for me, so far, much better.
Food for thought.

20 things to save time and make your life easier...

I made these up as I go and after 60 years find this just makes MY life easier.

1)  Put one sock on followed by the shoe every time you put on socks and shoes.

2)  Put toilet paper on so that the fold comes over the top.

3)  Close toilet lid after each use before flushing to prevent spreading germs, especially in public.

4)  Always end teeth brushing by brushing the tongue for fresher breath.

5)  Never leave food in cans, transfer to plastic blickkies with cover, store in frig. (Glass w/ tops ok.)

6)  Always clean out lint trap BEFORE starting the dryer.

7)  Use cat litter bags with litter, throw the whole thing out each time rather than scoop.

8)  A potato peeler is much easier than a knife.

9)  A tomato knife with serrated edge is much easier when peeling a tomato.

10)  A serrated scoop works fast on onions to get the core out.

11)  A Williams Sonoma vegetable chopper is a must for chopping onions with speed and no tears.

12)  Buy a tall plastic water bottle on the road?  Keep it, refill it at home, use it again and again.

13)  Keep a protein bar and a pack of cheese crackers w/ p-nut butter in your car for emergencies.

14)  Put Rainex protectant on your car windshield on dry days, enjoy the benefits on rainy ones.

15) Keep a roll paper towels in your car, handy when you really need it.

16)  Keep Rainex 2in1 window washer fluid in car winter time, keeps windshield clear in snow.

17)   If out of beef or chicken stock to make soups, use bouillon cubes. Melt one per cup hot water.

18)   When low on money, always buy food for your domestic animals first, they depend on you.

19)  Spend every available minute one on one time with your animals and children. They will be gone         soon enough.
20) When buying any outdoor wear for any activity, ask for assistance from a veteran outdoorsman, otherwise you will get hiking boots too small as in the opening scene of "Wild" the movie.  Soon as she pulled her toenail off, I said, "Her boots are too small, who fitted her for this hike? The girl has enough trouble without ill-fitting boots!"

The Kangaroo Bride

She was looking for an egg poacher. I told her I believed it was in the cooking section of the store.  The conversation began...excited her fiance was coming in from army active duty tomorrow, she was meeting him in person for the first time and getting married next week. They had been talking on Facebook for about 8 months.  Both of them divorced for years, her children were older and he had a 5 year old. After much email talking he invited her up here to NY to stay at his place until he returned from active duty.  That was tomorrow.

I asked her where she was from and she told me Florida where she owned a farm and raised hedgehogs, wallabies, and kangaroos for big profit back in the nineties.  Male wallabies sold for $3000 and female for $5000, or was that kangaroos?  I don't recall, anyway she made a good living at it.  Once she had 60 kangaroos, wild dogs got in the fence and ran 40 of them to death.  "They didn't kill 'em, mind you, they ran 'em to death."

"After that I went into the fenced area and cut out about 20 babies out of the mother's pouch, had o raise them by hand. I kept 12 of 'em in my house.  I put diapers on 'em, cut a tail hole in the but, and changed them all day. Yep, they growed up and were fine.  Did you know a female kangaroo nurse three babies all the time?  Yep, on on the teat, a bobbie in the pouch and an embryo inside.  As each grows they change places and the cycle starts over again."

"My son don't want me up here to marry my fiance. He wants my money and my land. He said he was going to get me declared crazy and he and his wife were going to take it all.  I told him, you are no good.  Calling me a bad mother, I'll show him.  I'll marry my fiance and leave it all to him."

I asked, "How do you know this man doesn't just want your money and land?"

She,"No we talked, he's got money. He has full custody of his 5 year old son, his mother is a drug addict and in jail, She don't want him. I love kids, so we are going to get him out of the home where his father had to leave him while he went with the army."

Me,"Well it's nice to see you embracing the next stage of life so positively. I wish you the best."

She said, "Yes I don't know why he wants old me, I sent him a picture of me, he says I'm beautiful.I'm 73 years old, he's 41. He says he is tired of cheating women and I ain't never cheat on my husbands, I told him I won't cheat on him."

"Best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom."
I do love hearing stories, I learn something every day.
This is a wallaby, yes it is different from a kangaroo.

Euthanization, Is it right?

Euthanization, is it kind or convenient?  Is it for us or the animal?
What is the point of no return in suffering for an animal or us?
When you love an animal or person, how can we decide what is enough?
We can ask a human and if he/she can voice an opinion you have direction, if not what to do?

An domestic animal is subjective to the will of the humans around it, be kind or cruel, functional or necessary.

On a farm life is harsh and different. Much of the day to day reality are based on the function and need.  My husband worked alongside a foreman on his family's farm.  The man would take a baseball bat and club groundhogs to death with a blow to the head.  Mice were swung by the tail against a tractor tire to be killed instantly.  My husband learn to do this aggressive behavior as a part of farming, there was one difference, after killing a couple of animals, he lie awake in bed at night thinking this is a horrible things to do. He stopped himself from doing it.

His father use to shoot groundhogs to keep them from making holes in the ground that could either get a tractor tire stuck when plowing or get your leg caught while seeding and make you fall or worse, break a leg. (Groundhogs ate crops too) Deformed or diseased kittens that were born were chloroformed, put in a bag and thrown in the river.  Chickens were beheaded, plucked, and cooked. Watching this as a boy was forming behaviors and thoughts that would affect his life.

Years later Sweetheart learned the bow and arrow to hunt.  He prepared, was out to kill a deer.  When face to face with another innocent animal, he looked at it and would not kill it.  He thought, "Why?"

As a moral dilemma developed from past abuse, my husband decided killing an animal for any reason, even to comfort, was wrong.  He decided all life is sacred and be allowed to take a natural course to live as long as possible.  I asked if this morality extended to humans? Murderers?  He said, "In my mind it applies to all innocents.  Animals are innocent. None of them kill for hate, they kill to protect themselves or eat.  Humans that kill, torture, animals or other humans, are not to be tolerated, and if killing is the only way to stop that human from hurting innocents, so be it."

And so we have come to a compromise, our cat will be put on pain meds and our son will watch over him, feed, him, medicate him, pet him and keep him in Hospice care until we know it can be done no more without noticeable pain. We will weigh in on this day by day.  Picking a date to euthanize him may rob the cat and us of hours of loving one another that might otherwise be enjoyed.  (After all it's not like picking a date to have a C-section.)

Euthanization.  What is your perspective?

Perspective, Everyone has one...

Opinions, perspectives, are like noses, everyone has one.

Decisions, what to do is known, but when?

The Vet has decided the fair thing to do is put the cat down soon.  The family does not want to as long as there is movement and purrs.  Me?  I want to do what is best for the cat.  Family wants to see less life before putting cat down.  Me? I understand that meds given daily are what is giving the cat the palliative care before the end.  This false sense of normality provided is the culprit of a better quality of life than the cat actually has.

Tomorrow a second opinion and a doc answers further questions. No one wants to end the life of a loved one sooner than needed.  I for one do not want the cat to live on drugs until it collapses. Drugs are no fun anytime except to keep pain away temporarily while you heal.  This cat will not heal, this is a terminal diagnosis.  The humans have to make peace with this, the cat is at peace and comfortable now.  Me? I have to live with the humans conflicted. In the end, if they are not at peace about this, I would be the bad guy to go ahead with doc's recommendation.  So I wait.

A Peace Came Over Me, taught to me by this cat...

Have you ever sat with a person as they were dying?  The last days of their life?  In Hospice as a volunteer I did. To sit with a dying person, one must be very still, very present.  Sometimes a stranger is better suited to sitting with the dying person because there is much emotional baggage between a family member or members if the person dying has lead an unconscious, chaotic, life.  In death there is a general consensus that the dying be left to die in peace regardless of the good bye unsaid or the damage done to living members that the dying may never apologize for even on a death bed.  Victims come to the bedside hoping to get a confession or an apology that may or may not be said.  In Hospice those in attendance are there to be kind and present, to listen, not talk, until the last breath.

Conversations if possible are to be light hearted, in my case, funny.  I think when anyone has less of a history or emotional attachment it is easier to be light hearted and funny.  And so that leads me to tonight.  I have put much thought into how I helped the dying patient to be happy the last day or week of their life.  And I realized I must do the same for a very loving cat.

This pet, this cat, has never hurt anyone. Its soul purpose has been to comfort and share its love energy with everyone that came into his presence. Feeling anxious? Baby sat silently, calmly, purring n your lap.  Feeling lonely? Baby slept next to you as you slept at night, he put his head close to yours on your pillow.  Feeling sick? He sat nearby, waiting, purring for you to be well again. Ask for very little, and when he did ask, was gentle, never demanding as some cats.  

When he began suffering he never made a sound. As he became sicker, I knew he was not himself, he stopped purring.  He was still friendly and followed me but he wasn't purring.  After the vet did exploratory surgery and found he had mouth cancer, she put him on pain meds.  Baby's tail went up in the air and he purred again.  He looked better after he had been on antibiotics and IV for fluid intake, but his fate was the same.  He would need to be put down to stop further suffering.

I cried.  It took me about 5 days of feeling sorry for myself to not have him but then I got a new perspective about my role in his life.  He had always been present and loving for all of us in every sad situation of our 15 years with this wonderful, beautiful, life in our family.  It was my turn to be present for him now.  He needed me to love him, let him be with me as much as possible, sleep in my bed next to me, sit in my lap as much as he wanted, he did not have much time left, not even a week.

So a peace came over me. How could I do less for this cat than I did for strangers in Hospice?  How could I help him?  So I lie down with him next to me, petting his matted fur as if it were not, wiping his mouth as needed when it drooled, and not shying away from the odious breath, he does not know he has…he is just the cat he always has been, loving, kind, lap cat, purring now because he is on pain meds.  It is the least I can do for this little life that gave so much. I am present for him as he is for me.  Thankful to have had this precious life then and now.

The Lovebug Cat

That's what we called him.  Patient, silent, loving, lap cat. Never caused any trouble, like to hunt and eat his kill, chipmunk, mouse, mostly.  Always waited his turn, never a fighter but could hold his own if needed.

He gave us love and we gave him love.  He made our life happier by being here. He healed many a hurt and soothed many a tear. Little people in fur coats my dearly departed mother-in-law called these wonderful Zen-like creatures.

I will take awhile to get use to this but his presence like Willma will always be with me. So today I will sleep with him, hold him, and love him before he is gone. Thank you for always being here for all of us.

I love you Baby.

Shopping for a Box, Thinking about Death

Boxes.  When you need 'em, it's nice to have one.  So many boxes come to our house from our computer business and our Isagenix products that rarely are we at a loss for them.  With family out of state I am constantly sending goodies to others, it is something I love to do really.  

Never having family nearby, I mail a lot of things.  "Brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things." (Sound of Music)  Now the post office does not like string, only tape.  

So today shopping for a box for a very specific occasion should have been fun but it was more of a necessity.  An ordinary box would not do...

There is death coming to our house next week and it brings to mind deaths I have experienced before. One of the first is the death of my grandmother. I remember my own mother, watching her deal with her emotions about it.  

My mother had never really known her bio mother long.  Her mother died when my mother was 10 y o. She had been nursing mother who was quarantined with scarlet fever for a few months. Her mother and the doctor were the only ones allowed to see her.  On the day the doctor told Maude, (my mother’s mother) that my mother would survive, she collapsed on the floor was taken to a hospital and died of pneumonia. No one talked to my mother about the death. I can only imagine the confusion that was left in a child’s mind with no one to talk to. A 10 y o has no questions or answers about such a traumatic event.   

No antibiotics back then to heal the pneumonia.  So mother grew through the formative teenage years without a mother. Maybe this is why she got married so young, to have a home and children of her own?  Idk.  When asked, my Mother doesn't seem to have a clue why she married so young.

...back to my Grandmother dying, Dad's mom.  This woman was the only mother my own mother might have had if they were close at all. Mother never speaks of Grandmother except to say she was nice. My grandmother sat in silence when she was not in the kitchen cooking for anyone that came in the door.  When she died and Dad was making preparations to bury her, I saw my mother standing in the kitchen of our house as she always did, making Cole slaw and potato salad. I never saw her shed a tear.  She just stood there and peeled the boiled eggs and chopped them in the salad. The thing about my mother is she never cries.  Where she learned this can’t say but seeing her family dynamics across the years, her family was not warm to her or her children.  Outsiders all of us.  I think Mother wanted a different life than the one she grew with but did not know where to find it or how to create it.

Death of anyone or anything is not something we here in USA experience daily.  If I distance myself from the thought, I can make myself believe it hardly happens at all, until it is in my house. 

I fear, I suffer, but only in my mind.  Thank you BK for the reminder.

We Breeze in and We Breeze out

Life is short. I spent last week in Boston, Harvard Hospital and Yale, New Haven, CT delivering drugs.  There were so many people milling about each of these two structures that go on and on with floor after floor, wing after wing. People everywhere.  Just to be in theses building you can see how each of us takes up a minute space in time.

Each of us are  no more important than the next but our minds can really make us special.  The time we are here is fleeting, we have no time to carry around burdens of low self image and egotistical highs thinking any of us are more important than the other. To get inside our head these thoughts is to miss the beauty of everyday life.

To get our minds to really have inner peace is to drop the ego and just be.  How to do this is the key but I think it has to do with slowing down and being thankful.  Yep I'm sure that is the first key.

Guilt, A Mother's Control Button

Today I was listening to Eckhart Tolle teach about the ego and the desperate need for the ego to hold on to itself.  An example among many he taught about women who use guilt to get the children to do things for her, around her, to visit her, etc.  He explains that this is not rooted in love although the woman may think it is, it is born out of an identity crisis the woman has once she is not needed a much, the children grow up and move away.

The woman so identifies with being a caretaker of children that she will continue to tell 40 year children, "She knows best."  This is the ego refusing to die.  If this role dies then the woman will need to move on to the next phase of her life.  Ego.

I decided when I was in my twenties that there were two emotions I would not do, "guilt and shame." So far so good.  Much easier to ask forgiveness and move on.  I hope i do this with our children if not, I guess their blog will be forthcoming one day.  I will read it and accept. Namaste.

What is the Gift of Grace?

Your mind opening to awareness of your stressful thoughts and letting go of them because the thoughts let go of you.  Once we understand this, our stress is relieved and easier to become thankful. Byron Katie teaches the four questions and turnaround that will change your life if you are open to it.
Ego fades away, inner peace remains. It feels wonderful.

It changed mine and I am a hard sell.  Thank you BK and the universe.

Thankful for those who did NOT help me, it made me learn to rely on me!

I don't know about building character this way but I do know I learned to depend on me.  Growing up we had little in the line of luxuries.  A luxury to my Dad was central heat or air conditioning even though we lived in North Carolina, a state that had you freezing in the morning to the point you had to put on gloves and a winter coat, and by noon you peeled off your clothes to a tank top and shorts.

Summertime was no better at night you sweated to death, if I complained, Dad would tell me "He did not want to hear it, I had an open window, he and mother had only a (rickety old) fan." In our small house Mom and Dad had a middle bedroom, no window. I would put my pillow in the window to absorb the night air as stifling as it was, and bring it in to lie upon for a brief moment of coolness. Turn it over before putting it back in the window.  Good times, not.  

In the winter if I complained, I was freezing, Dad would say, "Throw another quilt on your bed, you'll survive."  There was an electric heater in the bathroom that had a cord so frayed it was wrapped with black electrical tape from socket to the element.  The first time my husband visited and saw this, he went out and bought a new heater.  Sweetheart said, "That's a fire hazard, unsafe."  I threw the old one completely out of the house because I knew if Dad found it he would use it somewhere else in the house.

I survived.

When I left home no one supported the move so far away but I had to go. Mother wrote me a check for $100 when she saw I was leaving with or without their permission. I think she and Dad thought I would come back one day but I never did. There was nowhere to go in that small town for me. Nothing to pursue, nothing to become, nothing to discover, and I wanted more out of life than what Mom and Dad had settled for.  

Yes they settled for so little and yet they both were brilliant people with kind hearts.  I have often thought about them and why they gave up on each other and life at such a young age.  Maybe if Mom, 17, had not had so many children she could have lived a better life outside of this marriage.  Maybe if Dad, 21, had not married so young he could have accomplished more before the responsibility of wife and kids. 

Out in the world I began to plan what I would do and how to live on my own.  I joined a ministry. Influenced by my church attendance growing up, I did not like conventional Bible teachings with blind faith and unquestioned obedience, especially imposed upon the women in the church. This Biblical Research Ministry taught how to research the Bible for yourself.  In this research I discovered this ministry like all of them are prejudice against others. For this ministry to be right, others had to be wrong, and this caused division.  I knew there was more to life than this war. The same keys that I was taught in this ministry to discover and know truth, led me through in-depth study to see that even this ministry was on the wrong path to freedom.  The truth did set me free and I know now, the only true freedom is in my thoughts and perceptions about everything in life. Unity is the goal for us all.  (www.thework.com the simplest teaching on this)

Years pass and I read everything I could about the mind and what science is discovering, self-help books became my favorite reads.  Dale Carnegie's book, How to win friends and Influence People became my Bible.  I had to reinvent myself from the ground up. It took daily practice, it has taken decades to continue to change myself to be fearless and kind in every situation. 

Through all my life I have had to depend on the kindness of strangers to see through hard times and found there are many kind strangers that became my friends. I have cried a lake of tears, I have been scared out of my mind facing unforeseen dangers, I have had no money for food at times, I have survived.  What I learned? That things are not as bad as my mind scared me into thinking it was, true patience made times become better, that wisdom of bad situations can help you avoid dangers, that working is rewarding and gives you some control over what you have in life, that tears are not as necessary as I once thought, that men and women can live happily without a spouse and children. 

That all will be well if you believe in yourself (or even if you don’t, stay alive, things will absolutely get better) keep moving, get a job if you have no trust fund or parents that buy you everything, work two jobs if you need them, ask for help, know that people care but can't help if you don't ask. Don't settle for a life of poverty or people that treat you badly, don't look for people to supply your financial or emotional needs by being married to them or being used by them.  Stand up and begin by being thankful for your health, thankful you can work, thankful you live in the USA, thankful you can work three jobs if needed, you decide.

And you may find without looking... a Sweetheart like I did. So thankful for those that did not help me, makes me extremely thankful for people that do now.  

I like truth... When it comes to inventions, try one more time...

I like truth...the following is the story Thomas Edison revealed in an interview 11/29/1902.

The veracity of this version of events, however, is belied by the actual account given by Thomas Edison himself in a rare interview to a long-extinct newspaper and literary journal called T.P’s Weekly that was published on 29 November 1907. This interview is the earliest documented account of the story of his leaving school, and is therefore likely to be the source of the historical fiction regarding his early education:

One day I overheard the teacher tell the inspector that I was “addled” and it would not be worthwhile keeping me in school any longer. I was so hurt by this last straw that I burst out crying and went home and told my mother about it. Then I found out what a good thing a good mother is. She came out as my strong defender. Mother love was aroused, mother pride wounded to the quick. She brought me back to the school and angrily told the teacher that he didn’t know what he was talking about, that I had more brains than he himself, and a lot more talk like that. In fact, she was the most enthusiastic champion a boy ever had, and I determined right then that I would be worthy of her and show her that her confidence was not misplaced.

As his first-person account clearly states, no letter was involved, and Edison was never kept out of the loop of the story for the sake of his already hurt feelings. Edison, one of the most prolific and ingenious inventors of all time, would be homeschooled until he set out on his own at the age of sixteen, openly grateful for his mother’s support and education throughout his life.

There never was a letter that his mother lied about as is posted on facebook from time to time. What is true is that he loved his mother and she loved him very much.

If You have Child with the Condition of either Bipolar or Asperger's, you have given birth to a True Genius!

Society today is afraid of the unusual.  To mention "Genius" you think that is something to be proud of yet people today have attached stigma to such labels as Asperger's or Bipolar.  Looking back on geniuses that have produced phenomenal work of note whether financial, written, medical, musical, governmental, inventions, etc. we applaud these, yet when given the face of such  person today we shy away from them. Uneducated nurses and doctors are even sometimes cruel to the patient that presents with Asperger's or Bipolar.

In reality these two labels are discriminate against as much as any prejudice against gay or race. And as foolish as the discrimination against LGTB or race, it can isolate or cause much undue harm to them as well in this society.

If these geniuses are born here now, there is a reason. The world needs their intellect to create, solve an issue, or expand the intellect present now. Everyone is born for a purpose, in the body, they have, the color they are, the condition they have, to teach the world more.  More of what?  That is to be seen by those humble enough to value every human life as much as our own.

You can Google famous Asperger's and Bipolar persons of note yourself.  Many are alive today. Think of this the next time you meet someone with Asperger's or Bipolar, thank your lucky stars to have met a real live "Genius!"  In time their intellect will reveal why they are here, that is if they are strong enough to survive the running of the gauntlet dealt out so harshly by society.

The few geniuses I have known are very sensitive, and at times shy, but when I am on a subject they care about, they can really expound great knowledge.  Socially awkward... can be, but hey aren't we all at times?

Feeling Sorry For Yourself? There's only one thing to do...

Recently we have a very sick kitty.  He never complains as he gets sicker.  We took him to the vet and the vet is taking him in for surgery soon as possible.  Speaking with my son we discussed how animals never feel sorry for themselves.  They are our best example of accepting what is and not complaining.  (So Byron Katie, so Eckhart Tolle, so stoic)

I told him one of my favorite quotes was from D. H . Lawrence, "I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

Humans are complicated in thought.  We may intervene with a sick kitty to prolong its life,  and we may prevent death for a while.  We do the same for humans we love but what is it we fear?  Death is as natural as birth and both happen every minute. Are we so attached to life that to leave it scares us? Or is it we live in a society where everything has to be perfect, a society that does not teach death is expected and natural?  We have to win, win, win, never give up when at times we should.

Buddha "All attachment is suffering."  No truer words were spoken.

Why me? ... is feeling sorry for yourself.  Why not you? Everyone has troubles, it is your turn.  The only thing left to do is get grateful for everything good in your life, accept what you cannot change and take action to change the things you can. Learn from your mistakes if applicable and move on.

The serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr was published in 1951. (Three parts, accept things, change things and the third may be most important: the wisdom to know the difference.)

A habit you do not want to develop, is self-pity.  A waste of time and your time here is so limited. Take action instead.  All will be well.

Ask not, "What do I want From Life?' Rather ask, "What does Life Want From Me?

If we lived our life as if we have a reason to be here beyond what we think we want and need, how much more fulfilling would each life be to discover our personal gifts and how to share them with the world?  This really would mean we would find what we love to do and see how the world provides us with a way to live doing it.  We would believe doors would be open to us, we would see doors open to us and we would walk through them because we would know it is the right path for us.

To live in this joy is to be confident of who we are and where we are going.  What if we started today, asking the universe, "What does Life want from me?" and listen and watch as life reveals this to us.

Eckhart Tolle teaches we are the dance, that life is the dancer.  Byron Katie teaches we might as well accept life as is, because lives us every day anyway.  Go with the flow, take action when you feel inspired to do so, make plans but be ready to change directions as life arises with challenges.  This is too easy...

The one thing that is amiss about acceptance of everyone and everything...

There are a certain number of people that believe we should be accepting and loving to everyone and everything in the world.  Here's the major problem with this, everyone is not comfortable with everything everyone else does.

For instance, I was in nursing school and a friend of mine was approached by two nursing students both older women around 40 who wanted my friend to join in their "wife swapping group." Evidently these two women were in a "wife swapping" group that include 5 couples. One of the women explained that she and her husband had done this for years and were currently purchasing a new home with five bedrooms where they all could meet once or twice a month to swap and would my friend be interested in joining with her husband? (Interesting sidebar, she never thought to have my friend discuss with her husband whether he would like this or not, I guess she assumed all men would be ok with this?)

My friend had 3 children and told them "No."  I'm raising children and I want to be an example to them.  Cheating on my spouse is not for me.  She was then told, "It's not cheating if you both agree."

Sexual addictions are out of control today.  Sex was never meant to be used as a tool solely for personal gratification as so many use it today.  

If the world decides to make up the rules as they go with no concern of the effect for the future generations of children we will end in chaos.  Every adult is an example to the children. Every child wants their Mother and Dad to be together forever. No one taught them this, they think it.  It is the major reason adoptive children don't get along with step parents.

So acceptance of everyone and everything has to have boundaries in consideration for future generations. This is not to say that alternative lifestyles such as gay or transgender is wrong, it is to say this is a two person world, I do know a "couple" truly committed to each other is less chaos to any mind than multiple wives and multiple husbands.

Addictions of any kind harm and destroy every person that is caught up in it.  To become aware of the true nature of you is to rid ourselves of harmful behaviors.  Currently I am ridding myself of the thought I do not need to exercise or watch what I eat because truth is we all do.  It is not about looking thin it is about being healthy.  Coincidentally we will get thin as we exercise and eat healthy. Acceptance of everyone ad everything is NOT conducive to a healthy world.

Acceptance of what is to endeavor to do better is good, acceptance of what is and becoming complacent is not finding healthy pathways to improvement.

Who you are today started in your childhood. Try this simple comparison...

When you were growing up there were people you liked, kind, generous, laughing, fun people... children are drawn to naturally.  There were scary people you shied away from, angry, loud, punishing, guilting, bullying people, and as adults we look and see who got things done according to their wants and desires.

Think deeply a few minutes about this.  When something had to be done who got it done and how did they do it?  The one positive personality may have been nice but the child saw this person as someone who got run over and never achieved anything.  The other more powerful personality, although negative in presentation, got results, got answers, got what was set out to achieve.

Children.  Watch and think as they get older.  The same goals and achievements may be obtained by two very different means.  One achieves through caring about others outside of self, and the other achieves by stepping on everyone that got in their way, thinking of the self only.  How each accomplishes the goals is subjective to outside perspective of each of us.

We grow into adults.  We decide what we want out of life.  We decide what road to travel to get it. We begin to incorporate the personality traits of the people we saw growing up.

In the same vein of thought. Children meet people they like, really like.  Children who have no preset thermometer of good and bad people are easily fooled by a kind adult with bad intentions.  Children have no baggage, no  bitterness, much like animals when it comes to the present moment, a child will accept unknowingly the bad consequences a bad person presents because of the child's innocence.

Then there are people who are successful and positive and upbeat and kind and trustworthy.  Children want to be around them and as time passes and they grow up, they want to be like them.

Who we are today is a compilation of who we liked and disliked as a child.  So do this simple chart to see where your loyalties, gifts, and talents are.  On one side put the names of people you liked growing up and the things they accomplished that made you like them.  On the other side put the names of people you disliked and the things they did to make you dislike them.  In this exercise you will discover your core values.

When you discover these, you can live life according to your values not someone else's.  You can include anyone that truly changed your life in a positive way, living or dead.  (History figures count) Then to further see these favored people and the life they overcame, endured, survived, study them in depth. In time you will see these people made themselves.  These people achieved their goals because they had a cause bigger than themselves, they helped the world become a better place simply because they followed their  own path.

Some of us will find we need to wipe the slate clean and totally start over because the environment we were raised in is so negative, there has to be a new beginning to accomplish anything and establish inner peace.  Easy to spot these, these families usually toss you out into the world with no prior wisdom or support, you kind of have to sink or swim on your own. It is trial by fire.  Those of us who experience this are the lucky ones.  Without this rug being ripped out from under you, you never learn to find happiness on your own. You never appreciate accomplishing anything on your own.  Some might say to be given everything is to clip your wings.  You believe you cannot fly without help.  Truth is we all have enough to follow our own path and by being true essence, you will make the world a better place by being here. Namaste.

Your Wedding Is Indicative of Who You Are

Rebecca Mead wrote a book about this, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding.  She researched this $160 billion industry that is full of "fantasy" wedding dreams come true.   She concludes that your wedding is indicative of who you are if this is true I am nothing traditional.

We married on a farm in New Knoxville, Ohio during a "Rock Of Ages" religious celebration.  We scheduled our wedding on a morning that we had off from work, with an evening having a fondue dinner with other married couples in a tent.  The next day we were back at work with the regular ministry duties.

We camped all week.  My wedding dress was borrowed, courtesy of my mother-in-law.  She had this custom made, old fashion, heavy satin gown for her wedding. (1949)  She had no daughter so she wanted me to wear it. She paid for the alterations, she wore a size 12, I was a size 4.  It was beautiful.

My minister was an acquaintance, girlfriend.  My photographer did our pictures for free as his gift. He and his wife wore moo moos to the occasion and I had no wedding reception because I had no place to have it and I had no money, alongside the refusal of my mother (A wedding Coordinator at the time of her friend's' daughter's wedding back in NC) to pay for a wedding that was not held in my hometown church. She had it all planned without any input from me.  When I refused to be married there, she refused to help me. It was a great day having a wedding my way.  I had friends from my life there, not hers.

My husband wanted to pay for more but  I insisted he not.  My parents' responsibility was to help me financially with this wedding and since mother refused, I did the best I could relying on friends that came through for us. This wedding was not his financial responsibility. If I had to go without, I would, saying, "No" to things was familiar to me coming from my family. The kneeling bench was borrowed from the lecture hall of the ministry for $40. My soloist, Debbie was friends with a guitarist that played backup with the rock band "Tower of Power" from the 70s, (Dan Moran,) Dan played guitar as she sang.

Sweetheart went out the day before our wedding and bought flowers with borrowed pedestals from the florist to sit the arm spread length arrangements vases on either side of the kneeling bench.  He is an angel.  The flowers made the green backdrop of field and forest colorful. He also gave those involved in the ceremony monetary tips.  The whole wedding including flowers cost under $500.

My mother (I presume,) feeling guilty for not helping me, now in the reception line as she stood next to me pulls out her checkbook and says, "Let me pay for his ring, how much was it?"  I said, "Not now mother, we are in a reception line.  Maybe later."

My wedding is an indication of who I am.  I am not one to put on airs, carry grudges or feel cheated in life because I have less than another, I accept and move on.  I can make the most of a situation and I do.

Appearances of more than I am, are not my way.  After all I've come to see no man really likes going to weddings except his own and maybe his daughter's. Most parents do a big celebration to show how much they love their daughter.

Based on the high percentages of divorce, the entire party seems to be more of an ostentatious display to impress others.  My Dad always said, "Getting married is the easy part. Staying married is the hard part."  When the lights go out, the cake and champagne are gone, people leave. Now it is just two.

Sweetheart offered to do more as he always has for me and our children.  He is a gentleman and my heart friend.  He is kind, generous, responsible, supportive of me, funny, and good natured, he is my better half. 😇 So thankful for him every day.

Why did my wedding happen that way? Because it did and that was reality. To want it any other way is to go against God = reality. It was, one perfect day.  Accept, move on. Namaste.

What kind of wedding would you prefer and why?

Black Cloud Following You Around? Patience with NOT Knowing Can Save you Stress...

We all have known someone we have said, "That guy has a black cloud following him around." Meaning he gets out of one bad situation and another happens. Or is it?

Eckhart Tolle recently taught this nugget of truth (again) to chew on, "I heard it" this time,  that even if bad things are happening to you constantly, "Welcome these situations as if you had chosen them. In this way life can teach you lessons from each experience"

Every experience is necessary for growth to happen within me and the world around me.  Patience and being ok with not knowing answers now or why will in time reveal answers to me. Living this long has revealed many things I did not know when I was younger.

I climbed Cascade Mountain last year.  It was a rocky, steep, climb.  All reports said it was an easy to intermediate level of hiking. If I was 30 again I would agree but I am not. Every 30+ feet there was a curve I could not see around and my Sweetheart said, "It will straighten out and be flatter soon." I begin to not like Cascade hiking.  So I kept climbing.  Always believing the next curve would begin the level part, I kept hiking up, up, up. I climbed 4 1/2 hours to the top. If I had known it was never going to be flatter all the way to the top, I would have turned back. My Sweetheart believes he read the wrong review for this mountain. 😂 I did have fun with him that day.

The view was beautiful from the top of Cascade Mountain, but I have seen views like that before and if I had known there were no flatter trails, I would have turned back.  (Black fly bites the worst)

I scratched for weeks.

Patience with not knowing kept me sane and moving up to the top. At least I climbed that mountain once on my sixtieth year.

I once heard Sharon D. say years ago, "Life's lessons will be repeated until learned" I always remembered that, it is a good one liner. I will not be climbing Cascade Mountain again anytime soon.

Do you have an example of accepting the fact of "not knowing" that helped you move on?

Women Free from Dependence on Getting Married to Have Money and an Identity

Things have got to change in the individual before the change can affect the world.  Maybe thousands of years of women being so undervalued that some men, even today, have a harem of them, or in political or royal families, women treated like sex objects for momentary male pleasure, or a breeder for heirs.  Women who think so little of themselves or believe they have no choice, allow men to use them this way.

There are cultures in other countries and religions that train women from birth that their sole purpose is to have sex to satisfy a man's needs, have babies, serve a man, and care for the family to the point that women are looking to a man to supply everything including money to live on earth. Some men are trained from birth, they rule the world and can do whatever they want to do regardless of women's opinions. Middle Eastern countries seem to have the most demonstration of this daily but the world is becoming open to educating women more than ever in the past, even in America this kind of thinking is shrinking.

I've heard this in African cultures. African men have multiple wives and multiple children by them. One man from Ghana told me, multiple children for poor African families 'is the retirement plan.' He told me he was working on his 5th child and had to have at least 6 more. More children more money to care for geriatric parents.  I asked him, "What about the children's education? What about them having their own life and aspirations?" He answered, "Why?  I supported my parents with my 9 siblings, what else is there for them to do?"  He then told me why he was having 11 children, "I'm having 11, because 9 was not enough money for my parents to live on." (At no time did he say he was concerned with what his wife wanted to do.) 

Coming to America, in time may show his children there is another reason for having children.  Freedom for them to live on their terms if they choose without stagnated, archaic, tradition or cultures.  

I knew a young girl of 14 from Niger with a beautiful french accent. In conversation with this young lady it was clear she was educated beyond her age and school, and knew of finer things in life.  She told me she had a wonderful college educated father who brought his family to America 2 years ago to live free and have a better life.  She was always well dressed and lovely to speak with every day.  She loved to play the french horn and played it beautifully.  When I asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up with this talent and love of it, she replied,"Me?  I will become a wife like my mother at 19 to a fine man and have a family."  I asked her, "If someone told you, you have a choice, you do not have to become a wife at 19, you could go on to college and study music and maybe one day, if you choose. play in an orchestra and travel the world, would you like that?  She got excited and jumped up and said,"Yes, yes, I would like this! But how can I do this?"  I told her in the USA women can choose to go to college and have their own life separate from being a man's wife.  She said, "My mother will not allow this."  "I told her in America, you do not need her permission."

I know, you think...but how can a girl change her life and live the dream if she does not know she has the ability and now a country to do it in?

Women will not arrive to gain the needed respect and impact they can have as a woman unless women see themselves as more than a sex object to attract attention to themselves, or be a housewife. 

Women can use their voice in kind constructive conversation to make compromises to move forward.  It will take persistence and time but we will not get there in anger and rioting, that is a man's way and we see that has never done anything but cause more war. Enough of this. Ladies using the gentle special forces of women, persistent in peaceful negotiations will have more effect. Complete silence does not cause positive peaceful change but persistence will.  

Peace begins with me.  www.thework.com by Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle helps me. What are you interested in changing here or globally?

"Women are A Luxury Few Men Can Afford" ~ LMS

Recently visiting a man in the country selling sailboat hulls, (we were thinking of buying) long story, not the point, he told of his troubles in his life.  Needless to say, currently without a woman in in his life he has taken to the internet to have "girlfriends" in Spain, Beijing, etc.  He is sending money for one to go to school, he is sending money for another one to help her out financially because in that culture she is older and has no opportunities... OK.  His American wives did not work out...one divorce, a Russian girl embezzled a truckload of money out of his company, another divorced, he married too young, he has reasons for every wife and girlfriend not working out and now he admits, "He is lonely."  He says, he does not have much money at this stage in his life  (He is 60 something) and "You know women have to have money or they don't want you."

Another man I know in Poughkeepsie, a pharmacy tech told me in another more uplifting conversation, that women like men with money. No money, no woman.  A friend's son is going through a divorce and the wife is getting everything.  His lawyer told him, "Why you are nothing but a wallet and sperm bank to her."

My father told me when I was a teenager, "Men don't need houses, that is a woman's idea.  A man can pitch a tent down by the river and provide all he needs... it is a woman who wants everything else. Only rich men can really make a woman happy.  Women are a luxury few men can afford."

Yes, I have heard and seen story after story of women wanting money, money to spend, money to get nose jobs, breast implants, buy houses, buy furniture, buy timeshares, buy, buy, buy, and the man is supposed to provide the money.  Where did women get this idea?

Maybe it came from generations of women not being able to vote, or have a personal credit card till 1970s in the USA, or own property or even have a right to her children in the case of divorce.  Maybe it comes from the fact women still on the average get paid less than men although they do the same job.  Maybe it comes from the vulnerability a woman has to bear when she gives birth and takes care of a newborn for the first year at least, if she has a husband that can shoulder the financial obligations by himself, it makes this easier.

Why do you think men think all women want is money?

Tim Ferriss, Finds Comfort in Stoicism for Bipolar

Stoicism was practiced by George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams according to Tim Ferris in a Ted Talk on " Why you should define your fears instead of your goals."  He found stoicism as a refuge and guidepost for staying focused.  My husband is as five senses oriented as any person alive.  Spiritual things are not his forte. Science he gets. My Sweetheart likes stoicism.

I say science and spiritual are not separate.  Stoicism brings the two together.  Probably the greatest lesson to learn from stoicism is:

"Things I can control and things I cannot control." ~Epictetus

Three kinds of business according to Byron Katie, the work.com

1) God's business

2) Other people's business

3) Your business

Makes sense, 'You/I can control our business only, so stay focused there.  More precisely, we can only control our perspective, our thoughts.  And from this we move into action.

This Country Has a Long Way To Go But We Will Get there

Author Gordon-Reed of The Hemingses of Monticello gives insight into a founding father thoughts about establishing a country like no other before with individual rights and freedom.

The phrases that follow — odd punctuation and all — ring with passion as Jefferson defined the impact of that long-ago choice.

“may it be to the world what I believe it will be, (to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all) the Signal of arousing men to burst the chains, under which Monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings & security of self-government. The form which we have substituted restores the free right to the unbounded exercise of reason and freedom of opinion.

“All eyes are opened, or opening to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth that the mass of mankind has not been born, with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately by the grace of god. These are grounds of hope for others, for ourselves let the annual return of this day, forever refresh our recollections of these rights and an undiminished devotion to them.”

It may seem naive today, Gordon-Reed said, but Jefferson had faith that every generation would be a little better than the one before. He and his peers had put their lives on the line to make the big break with the past, and what they started would not be stopped.

“He was born into a world that accepted monarchy and all that went along with it — social hierarchy, wars brought on by disputes between royals, established churches that ran everyday people’s lives. He thought he and the American Revolutionaries had created something ‘new under the sun’,” she said.

While the more famous letter speaks to Jefferson’s faith in “the enduring value of the American experiment with democracy,” J. J. Looney (another author The Papers Of TJ) wrote in announcing the discovery, the later note speaks to something else: “the private Jefferson who to the last could not deny himself imported luxury goods for which he could not pay.”

The very last — of which only a copy in someone else’s hand survives — was coordinating delivery of a shipment of wine from France.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Seems like Thomas had a spending habit like so many Americans today…he too could not curb. If only he could have lived to know Gary Vaynerchuk, he could have had the best wine in the world for a price his pocketbook could afford!

USA is the Land of OPPORTUNITY for EVERYONE Proclaims an Immigrant

Gary Vaynerchuk. This guy is becoming one of my favorite speakers. He not only speaks well with information good to hear no matter what you are doing in life, he has learned many life lessons in his life since coming to America. When I hear immigrants that come here thinking we have roads paved with gold and life is easy here, I wonder where they got their information.

Gary's folks came here for the OPPORTUNITY to live life free and prosper. His Dad saw to make it anywhere one has to work, work, work, save, save, save, and invest in ownership of his own business. For some reason Americans born and raised here seem to think everything should be given to us...for what being born? We act like spoiled rich kids and miss the opportunity given us right here in the USA.

Kids born into financially wealthy families are given every opportunity without working to get it and in time find things are so easily achieved for them, (i.e. Parents can buy them diplomas if need be and can hook them up with the right people to do or sell whatever the kid invents or makes, in other words these rich kids do not have to sweat, save, and use critical thinking skills to break into a market,) Dad or Mom have all the connections. Rich kids say, "Easy come, easy go." (Abusing people is easy, people like things are disposable.) "If something or someone does not serve my purpose, I can get rid of them."

There are morally corrupt rich people that file lawsuit after lawsuit to put the competition out of business because the competition does not have enough money to run their business and pay lawyers to keep doing the legal work to fight. There is such a thing happening right here in Albany, NY and your town. It happens everyday.

The bottom line is when you come from nothing, you have nowhere to go but up but you will not get there unless you work, work, work, save, save, save, save, and invest in ownership of your own business. Ownership of your own business is not a guarantee unless you stay out of debt and find ways to turn a profit bigger every year. Working a job to make money to save, save, save, is good, work three if need be but to be financially free we need to own our business. Business founded from the sweat and savings of a morally upright person has a much better chance of prospering. These people are not chasing the dollar, they actually care about others.

Gary Vaynerchuk may be the modern man's mentor in business the world has waited for... a mentor who knows to put love for his family first, to be sexually faithful to his wife always, to spend any off time from work with his children, he knows to have love and give love takes time with these relationships. He does not have time to go drinking with the boys, or gaming, hanging out doing drugs, using women for selfish momentary pleasures, Gary does not believe in using anyone to get to the top of his business. (And he knows to be happy and rich takes time with your loved ones.)

But he does believe in giving back to people his knowledge and wisdom of life. He is a good man. He loves the USA. He loves capitalism that gives the individual the OPPORTUNITY to rise above any station in life. A Russian Jew Immigrant that is glad his father brought them here in 1978. He has a thick skin and knows who he is so other's opinion of him does not matter. He sounds a lot like Byron Katie.

He believes immigrants have the greatest push to make something of themselves because they know the alternative. They know what they escaped from recently. Future generations who have the basic luxuries supplied to them have less push. Gary says jokingly, "My kids are going to be total losers."

Thank you Gary for your public speaking and great insight that will help this next generation live well in the USA. Thank you.

The universe is a friendly place and life is getting better and better everyday.