We married on a farm in New Knoxville, Ohio during a "Rock Of Ages" religious celebration. We scheduled our wedding on a morning that we had off from work, with an evening having a fondue dinner with other married couples in a tent. The next day we were back at work with the regular ministry duties.
We camped all week. My wedding dress was borrowed, courtesy of my mother-in-law. She had this custom made, old fashion, heavy satin gown for her wedding. (1949) She had no daughter so she wanted me to wear it. She paid for the alterations, she wore a size 12, I was a size 4. It was beautiful.
My minister was an acquaintance, girlfriend. My photographer did our pictures for free as his gift. He and his wife wore moo moos to the occasion and I had no wedding reception because I had no place to have it and I had no money, alongside the refusal of my mother (A wedding Coordinator at the time of her friend's' daughter's wedding back in NC) to pay for a wedding that was not held in my hometown church. She had it all planned without any input from me. When I refused to be married there, she refused to help me. It was a great day having a wedding my way. I had friends from my life there, not hers.
My husband wanted to pay for more but I insisted he not. My parents' responsibility was to help me financially with this wedding and since mother refused, I did the best I could relying on friends that came through for us. This wedding was not his financial responsibility. If I had to go without, I would, saying, "No" to things was familiar to me coming from my family. The kneeling bench was borrowed from the lecture hall of the ministry for $40. My soloist, Debbie was friends with a guitarist that played backup with the rock band "Tower of Power" from the 70s, (Dan Moran,) Dan played guitar as she sang.
Sweetheart went out the day before our wedding and bought flowers with borrowed pedestals from the florist to sit the arm spread length arrangements vases on either side of the kneeling bench. He is an angel. The flowers made the green backdrop of field and forest colorful. He also gave those involved in the ceremony monetary tips. The whole wedding including flowers cost under $500.
My mother (I presume,) feeling guilty for not helping me, now in the reception line as she stood next to me pulls out her checkbook and says, "Let me pay for his ring, how much was it?" I said, "Not now mother, we are in a reception line. Maybe later."
My wedding is an indication of who I am. I am not one to put on airs, carry grudges or feel cheated in life because I have less than another, I accept and move on. I can make the most of a situation and I do.
Appearances of more than I am, are not my way. After all I've come to see no man really likes going to weddings except his own and maybe his daughter's. Most parents do a big celebration to show how much they love their daughter.
Based on the high percentages of divorce, the entire party seems to be more of an ostentatious display to impress others. My Dad always said, "Getting married is the easy part. Staying married is the hard part." When the lights go out, the cake and champagne are gone, people leave. Now it is just two.
Sweetheart offered to do more as he always has for me and our children. He is a gentleman and my heart friend. He is kind, generous, responsible, supportive of me, funny, and good natured, he is my better half. 😇 So thankful for him every day.
Why did my wedding happen that way? Because it did and that was reality. To want it any other way is to go against God = reality. It was, one perfect day. Accept, move on. Namaste.
What kind of wedding would you prefer and why?
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