When I think back on my early life I know I use to forget semi-important things such as a homework assignment or a class project where my part was due and I simply had no memory of it. I cured this by two disciplines, I began to write down everything, to make lists, and to do immediately anything I could do immediately. Studying the night before a test was completely useless to my grade, I would make a bad one. I discovered I need a methodical approach to any task and time to do it.
It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD and studied behavioral management of it that I was proud of myself for implementing positive ways to manage it without outside help. This is good since no outside help was ever offered me. I was very familiar with destructive procrastination.
Now I like that Mel has brought to light with scientific facts that productive procrastination is even a thing. As hard headed and stubborn as I can be, my husband and I noted that we both, when dealing with marital disagreements have at times chosen "Productive Procrastination."
No man or woman wants to be WRONG. It seems the louder or angrier spouse can be right because the other one doesn't want to hear it anymore and remains silent. This does not solve anything and may lead to life with "the old ball and chain" reference.
But this choice to let a topic rest a while, come back to it another day when emotions are not so hostile is majorly productive...I never knew this had a name. I do think if more unions, marriage or not, adopted this approach, there would be more meeting of the minds and compromises that would move situations forward in peace.
Shallow conversations are not our style, this productive procrastination with much discussion has made us closer over the years. After all no two people think exactly alike but I believe all of us as a whole want to live in peace and to be kind to each other.
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