We Live in the Land of Opportunity

"America is the land of opportunity, as a place where anyone can rise to wealth and prominence through hard work rather than birth."  ~Autobiography of BF

BF was born into poverty but his family were business owners.  When a business was not bringing in the money to support BK's 16 siblings, his father would start another business more suitable for the needs of the town. Bottom line he was flexible and willing to learn another craft to feed his wife and kids. Because of the number of kids in the family, BF's father could not afford a college education for him.

BF knew this first hand and set out to find ways of making money, he was not an heir of wealth or status. Most of us are not in this America. What made him different from many was his ability to look for inventions or improvements that were needed and set about to make these happen. He made a lightening rod and sold many to businesses and homes to prevent fires.  He discovered early on he loved to read and his friends from a ll socioeconomic levels were readers too. He discussed new ideas.

He became so good at (after many mistakes)  making money and diversifying his income that his Puritan community and some of his family members began to fault him for being materialistic.  This could not have been further from his character.  He knew to elevate his lifestyle he had to work for it and he did quite successfully.  Every wrong turn, every loss of hard earned money, every time he trusted the wrong person to help, he got up and tried again with a positive attitude. Every bad report given of him, he ignored and moved on.  He learned from his mistakes so as not to repeat them.

In time his own brother who tried to help him get started as a teen, (who beat him when he was his apprentice) and was the catalyst for BF to leave Boston would later part ways with BF. BF returned later richer and in fine clothes than this brother and he became jealous. His brother now shunned him.  BF wished him well and moved on.

BF saw the opportunities given to the wealthy and their offspring.  He did not get jealous of their property and want them to give it to him or other poor people, he realized we all had an opportunity here to become the champion of our own prosperity, this is what makes America great, OPPORTUNITY.

His father never saw the wealth or the position BF grew into in his life.  He had 17 children to care for and a wife and a business yet he did not give up and beg.  He kept working.

This is the key to freedom, dependence on one self.  The minority of dependence on the government should be very low in this country, we seem to have crossed the line or it at least is blurry. Maybe as seen by BF's father, there should be birth control offered and taught by all religions.  BF's father and family would have benefited from birth control measures. Too many kids can definitely make you unable to provide for them. And there are those who argue if there was birth control then we would not have known BF, but it would not have mattered. Life will go on no matter...

Thankful for America and its citizens always.

Waif Definitions and Other Definitions

Words are fun.  The way people use words can be puzzling. Definitions of words have been put in a universal book called a dictionary so there can be some congruity to the use of each.  Yet, we all use words that are familiar to us.

Yesterday I watched an interview between two well known people.  Maya Angelou is of the mind that the "N" word should not be used by anyone anymore.  The man that was in the interview with her makes a living while using the word, "Nigga" constantly in his routine as do rappers.  He is a comedian. I have often wondered why he and others use this word when we as a nation are trying to move pass this prejudice.

He explained that when the word was created it was a way to dehumanize the man.  Now he and his buddies that use it constantly are reclaiming its meaning to mean be a brotherhood of those that have risen up from the degradation of old.  This is why only a person of this race can use it without racial slur.  This is good to know, this makes sense.

In the "Friends" TV show there was a negative connotation given to Monica's name by her critical mother. Whenever Monica did something wrong her mother would say, "She pulled another Monica." Phoebe, Monica's friend, told Monica instead of attaching the negative definition that caused Monica to feel bad when she heard this expression, that Monica should change the meaning, "Pulling a Monica to something Monica did great." In this way Monica could become proud of herself when she heard it. Once again showing you can't change others but you can change your thinking about a situation.

We have a friend that came here from Iraq.  She loves to cook and I learned her people only ate animals killed halal.  She would bring chicken dishes with many vegetarian dishes here when she visited. Excellent cook her food is a favorite here. After trying to respectfully listen and understand her words as she learned English, I did not correct her as she spoke, I would listen and try to figure out what she meant.  One day after months of trying to hear her explain some dishes she cooked, I figured out she was saying. "Chicken" when she meant "kitchen."  We both laughed and she has such a good self image it did not bother her.  She is a kind lady.

I have a post in The Quail Writer.  It's title is "Menthol and Coconut Waif Across the Air as Melissa Etheridge sings Gay love Songs." According to the blog census, more people have read this post than any other.  So I wondered why? Is it the title? Is it Melissa E? Is it Gay Love Songs? Or is it the word, Waif?  Waif has many definitions and one of these further down the page is "wandering."  Now I am wondering if people read it because of the above reasons or if it is because the word, "waif" is a misuse of the word to their thinking?  What? Me not perfect? You folks see through me! And I see you.

Are there more gay people reading my blogs or people looking to correct me?  Anyway I am being read by more than I knew... This is making me laugh, the blog is free and I like to stir up people.

Greatness In Every Single One Of Us

We had a wonderful visit with a friend this week.  We talked of many things and something we both have come to know is that titles, diplomas, certifications, medals, awards, do not define you.  In many ways these can restrain you from looking deeper within to see who you really are without all the pomp and circumstance.  She felt so strongly about this that she shredded all of hers.

When anyone is young and comes up seeing people that become mentors for their young lives this tends to make the youngster think, "Oh. I could never do that!" But the reality is you can.  Each of us has a road we travel that causes us to pursue a cause or think a certain way.  In the process of this we become a champion of our own thoughts.

When we see education as a means to an end not the end all of meaning, the true self discovery begins.  If we don't idolize these accomplishments, we don't develop a big ego that separates us from others. No one is above or below another, we are one.

When we do not idolize another for who they are, then our self image is where it needs to be to discover the greatness that resides equally in us. (Even the least accomplished among us, children, have greatness to give to the world.)

When we accept this is a part of our journey that puts us on the same path as everyone else, a path to inner peace and unity, then we see ourself clearly for who we are.  One peaceful human race.

If He or She has A New Girl/Boyfriend 2 months later, it was not Love

Just in general, anyone wondering about that true love you thought was true love for years that has a new girl/boyfriend within 2 months after you two break up...

It was NOT true love.

Now you can question this and say it was...waste more time on this mismatch if you want or learn quickly and move on.  There is a true love with respect and admiration for you somewhere out there but until you let go of this one, you will never find it.

Inner peace, inner confidence, inner knowledge that the universe has your back and supplies your needs every minute you need it is comforting to absolutely believe.  Everything else is just details...

Comparing Men to Women Will Never Work

Physical strength rarely if ever can be compared between the sexes.  Although it is true women have a physical pain threshold that is capable of handling internal pain 9 times higher than men,(Science attributes this to nature helping the female give birth,) when it comes to the physically lifting of great weight men will surpass women.  To think there is a war between men and women in the comparison of anything is not productive at all. Male and female were physically created to fit together to reproduce a certain way, why would the universe put us at opposites in every other way? It is reasonable to believe we are opposite in every way to create a balance for a productive union and outcome. (Positive for the world)

Sometimes I think 'warrior' mentalities see us as an ant farm down here put in space by a cosmic warlord to watch us mix it up and see what we will do. There are owners of real ant farms that shake the glass container to cause turmoil for these captive insects.  This is very unkind behavior that any reasonable person would not do. Likewise whatever put earth in a spinning orbit, with us on it would not want us fighting, killing one another, and destroying our home. There is a way to live peacefully but we must believe in inner peace, we must find it, nurture it and then live it. Only then will we find unity with anyone including the opposite sex. Women giving themselves permission to live the immorality of male thinking is not liberation, it is not equality, it is lowering ourself to a level we need no more.

My mother once told me, "If this world is ever to be morally upright it will be up to the women to make it happen."  My husband says,"Unfortunately I agree."

This unity, this morality will not happen if we remain warriors with one another.  Men have proven they will fight, it is what they do best.  Women need to stop using sex as their weapon.  There is much more to life than sex and vanity.  Women, put down the mirror, stop with the selfies, the entire world agrees women are the most beautiful humans on the planet, great... accept, now can we get on with more important  issues like protecting the children and our planet earth?  Stop with the injections and boob jobs...find another way to get the attention that is helpful to the world.

If women are to bring the world back into balance women will not do it through conquering and dividing, we will do it with nurturing and unifying with a peaceful persistent voice.

We try to Float Magnolias in the Toilet but Seem to Fall Short

A friend called to see if we were home so she could stop in and chat on her way up north. Of course we said "yes!"  Then we turn to the house.  Since the kids moved out there is no deadlines to do anything around here and we both, wanting to be minimalist in our lifestyle we have taken to dejunking our living space.  We have gone through cabinets, consolidated dishes, computer parts, recycled and stored or given away so much and now with kids out of the house, deciding what to keep and what to move out...It is a lot!

So I tackle a room by putting everything out of the room in a hallway.  When someone comes my Sweetheart says, "Ok where do I move these boxes now?"  So if I'm not done sorting and recycling
I put them in another room.  Yesterday my Darling said "Well I see you are making progress, there are not as many boxes as before. I will be thankful when I do not have to touch boxes anymore." Me too. Thanks for noticing dear.  I am trying...

Then after working and being tired, I came home and just did not have the drive to "Float Magnolias In The Toilet." Make my house look like House Beautiful before our guest arrived. Heck it was all I could do to muster up the energy cleaning the three bathrooms.  So I took a nap.  Our guest came later which was convenient, napped, got up, cleaned, cooked, and was seated drinking water waiting. I know my house is not where it will be as I methodically get through 30 years of memories and let go of unnecessary items but it is coming into focus.

This is why I posted Erma Bombeck's list of "things she would do if she had her life to live over."
One of these was "I would have invited friends over even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded." Getting older and dropping the illusion of anything about me being perfect is so liberating. I understand the mind and the environment are closely related in how it is arranged. I agree...

To let go of so many things in this house is truly to let go of the need to keep stuff just in case I need it one day... this comes from what I call "Depression Era Mentality."  you know the mindset of the parents that lived through the depression and almost starved or watched others starve?  Waste not, want not. Time to move on...breathe in, breathe out, Move on... I want my house to be an oasis of beauty to share with anyone we call "friend," to visit anytime and relax.

 

Menthol and Coconut Waft Across the Air as Melissa Etheridge Sings Gay Love Songs

We went to another great performance at Troy Music Hall last night, Melissa Etheridge.  Listening to Melissa Etheridge sing love songs and heartbreak over women was new for me.  The lyrics she sang reminded me of things men do, what do I know?  (i.e. driving over to her house to see if she's home or if she's alone, she wants to come over or going to a window etc.) I surely don't know everything about all women gay or straight but I know men do this as I have been told by them of these moves. (Kind of a stalker move, hahahaha, Melissa said this onstage, hahahaha)

Yes, I support gay rights. We do not have an occasion to socialize with many people generally speaking but the few business acquaintances we have include gay women/men and they are as average as any good person you meet.

Gay, straight, all the same to me. I have been hit on by gay women since I started clubbing back in my teens and I have been hit on as recently as in my fifties by a gay woman.   I guess I still got it. Whatever "it" is...

Oh yeah the menthol was the Isagenix cream I put on my neck, I have a mysterious rash, and the coconut is my shampoo. No need to put on parfum, you cannot smell it over this odd combo. Once in a while I would get a whiff and say,"That's a strange smell!"... then I would remember it was me! I can be such a dork sometimes.

Who knew Melissa played the guitar so well? Yes we would go see her again. She says she loves "wine and women" ok...whatever...rock on ME...rock on.

Love Labels and Political Incorrectness

Why? Because when I hear this I got your number. Does not mean your number is bad or good to me, it just means you are comfortable enough to be your real self and I can either decide to be in conversation with you or steer clear. We do not have to agree on anything except to live in peace.

Labels such as bipolar or ADD, alcoholic, environmental wacho, Peta freak, etc. are just words that mean nothing to you unless you attach good/hurtful meanings to each and then internalize it.  You can control what you believe...so don't attach and internalize. So don't attach unless it is good to you.

Now you can't do this if you are unconfident of who you are or what you believe as your truth.  Here's a clue, anything that is good, kind, healing, productive in a positive unharming way is worth steeling in your confidence bank.  When this bank is so full of itself it begins to make your cause a war against others who don't believe like you...now you are off track and in for a fight.

Fighting is not the natural state of being here in the Garden Of Eden, Earth.  We are here to live and survive the elements of nature as we are kind to one another.  No wars, no fights.  Disagreements yes! Difference of opinions always! Solution oriented absolutely!  No physical killing or harming another, much talk in time will bring compromise and peace.

So let us label, let us be politically incorrect, it will not harm us unless we choose to let it harm us. Inner confidence, inner peace is where unity begins. Everyone that loves peace loves Gandhi.  I disagree with many things he did to accomplish his solo leadership but overall he helped his people. Many roads to the top of the mountain.

Mae West invented the Original Platform Shoe In This Century

The years go up the heels come down. Platforms in the 70s perfect I had many.  Spike heeled ostrich leather ankle boots with side zipper, my favorites!  Wedge heel shoes, how many did I own? Low heel mules I had every glitter pair I could get my hands on, slip on orange with brown embroidered mules, every color of the rainbow, my new necessity as I got older I got hotter, body temperature went up as I got older.  After kids flats were just easier to carry a child on a hip, silver and gold shoes with heels were there for a few occasions, another wedding the occasional office party.

Looking into the closet I held onto my absolute favorite sandals and shoes.  Then I hurt my knee, then my foot, and needed crutches and physical therapy. This went on for a few years and now all well...   well...I don't want to balance to walk anymore.  So these great shoes that were worth saving after finding just the right shoe are now being sent to a consignment shop. I'm wearing flats from now on.

Mae West did not like being short so to improve her height she had special platform shoes made and this is why she shuffled across the stage when fully dressed. Now celebrities are buying these platforms for $250,000 a pair as if the new designer just thought of these...Mae West designed these a half century ago. Watch Mae West in a movie sometime and think of these shoes...

Wild thing, I think I Love You

There is a tiger cat that like others was dropped off at our farm three years ago.  Exhausted from changing litter boxes and caring for three cats I could not let him in the house.  Not another cat.  After all the kids are gone and we are settling down into a much simpler life.

The first winter he sat at the front window with the snow coming down so hard, with begging eyes, I knew he was domesticated.  I have watched this cat try to come onto our deck with our three cats that live here, going bizerk at the sight of the stranger.  After all he was on their territory!

I have shooed the cat away and watched him from afar eating chipmunks, rabbits and mice.  He is a survivor.  There is something about being able to survive on your own that appeals to my husband in particular.  Maybe this is why outspoken, independent women appeal to him as well.  It is so unusual to see a woman out on her own taking on the world today.

Yesterday our three cats were out on the deck with the wild tiger nearby.  They had eyes fixed on it but they did not growl anymore.  One of my hesitations to take the cat in, besides more cat hair to vacuum, ticks to remove, combing the shedding fur, litter boxes, constantly washing furniture blankets used to keep fur off couches...is the training of the cat to introduce him onto the house without upsetting the three older cats we already have.

I love animals but my life is not one of being a wildlife conservationist.  I have nursed many a small animal back to health to set it free again because I too love wild things. Sweetheart is so stubborn, rebellious, and somewhat dangerous at times in how he lives life, but he is soft hearted inside, even he said, "Can he come in? I don't believe you leave that cat outside for three years now."

If the three cats accept this "earth brother" first, I may consider taking him in.  I do not like the way he came to be here having to live out in the woods but he is surviving outdoors in spite of the foxes, the bears, the coyotes, or wolf.  And the cat has my husband's finest admiration, he likes that cat living free and wild, the way he likes me...

Wild thing, I think I love you.

If I Had My Life to Live Over, Thanks Erma Bombeck

If I Had My Life To Live Over

by Erma Bombeck

The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Amazing What Humans Can Survive, the Judds are Simply Amazing

Women are really unique in their perspective and understanding of this world.  Most women, like me are unaware of how the male species operate and it takes being around men and studying them as a whole for a long time to appreciate them and see how to live in peace with these fellows. Most mothers do not teach this to their daughters because women stay out of the way and silent to live in peace.

The first time I heard The Judds sing I loved the harmony and the melodies of their music.  The heart of who they are is expressed in lyrics as well as great sound.  Wynonna.  That voice, what a natural gift that she developed into a million dollar business. All those ladies certainly deserve all the monetary success they have, they surely paid a personal price for it.

When I read Naomi's book 1993 Love Can Build A Bridge, I knew Michael Cimenelli was not Wynonna's father, you could read between the lines.  What surprised me is that Wynonna would not know this until she was 30 y. o, I thought Naomi was open about everything?  These three ladies have really been through the mill.  The most amazing thing to me is how all of them can keep performing, (Expertly I might add,) through every heartache or life trouble they experience.

As all fans I can only wish them well. No judgments here. The family skeletons are out of their closet and I do hope these ladies can move on and just love each other peacefully for the remainder of their lives.  I think life is way too short to be an open wound for decades, it is hard on the body and mind. With their books, the interviews, the movie, the docuseries by Oprah Winfrey, (you can see this on YouTube) they have given all to help others and with all the drama, Naomi is a corker.  

Naomi really got all my admiration when she accepted Ashley to speak her truth in her autobiography.  Naomi read that book and owned her mistakes...now time to let go of shame and guilt over past, Naomi.  As a mother I know, we did better mothering than we were given, and that is all we can do. And as a mother, kid’s perspective is just that, their perspective, none the less true for them than our own. I have apologized to all our children and I’ve moved on.

If our children learn from our mistakes and do better, then we did our job.  We loved.  

The Skateboard Husband and Pogo Wife

Yeah those were the days when this 11 year old girl hopped and skated the board for hours up and down Gulf Street. 3000 hops and 20 miles later finally I take a break and go in for a Kool-Aid.

So our son got a skateboard from his brother for Christmas and away he went at 27 y o. No sweat.

The husband helped the son move and he sent his skateboard back via Mom and Dad so Dad is out with ski poles balancing and trying to skateboard...It AIN"T easy anymore.  Now this man can ice skate, ski, and roller skate like a pro but skateboard?  Another story...still he tries. We will see how far he can ride that darn thing by the end of the summer.

So I buy a pogo stick. I like to jump and bounce.  I read online where some Dad had tried this stick and could not get going at 20 years my junior so I wondered about me...could I do it? Would I ever be able to get to 3000 again?  Well you don't know till you try.

I hop on and go two. I hop on and go 3, I hop on and go 10...then again another 10...I keep going till I hit 18 and I am pooped! Out of breath much more than that 14 mile bike ride...

If I keep this up I may get back in shape sooner than later and it is fun.  Sweetheart tried my pogo and can hardly jump one and is so amazed I can do so many first time out...but he does remind me I was a dancer one time and have good balance.  I said "Yes, I use to ride that skateboard but I would not try that now!' Off he goes in the driveway with ski poles on the skateboard.

Hang on till summer's end and we will see how far we have come then...Keep trying, keep trying...Never give up!  Childhood revisited.

That's me in the middle...

If We Couldn't Laugh, We Would All Go Insane!

My husband and I were riding our bikes down a back country road that we have walked, ridden, and I have run many, many, times for many decades since moving to Selkirk.  I have known families on this back road that have moved away for whatever reason and I see a new house built maybe 10+ years ago that a lady I used to know told me about years before it was built.  I knew her from our children's elementary school, she was the friendly secretary there.  She told me this house was their dream house.

She said she and her husband had some land on this back road and when she retired from the public school system they wanted to build this house.  She was such a wonderful person.  She and I would joke and talk friendly conversation.  She used to tell me I was invited to her house for a visit but with life and my own work I never made the time.  I have seen her house from afar and see it is a beautiful country home set back in the woods.

As we were riding by on bikes, I thought if she and her husband were home I'd stop in and say hello. Seeing it was Easter I knew they probably were away at a family dinner since there were no cars at the house.  I had a impromptu thought I'd like to see the building out back and it would be harmless to just ride into the driveway, see the property and ride out.  I thought now that I have more time I think I will call her and come over for a visit soon.

Then the watchdog neighbor came across his yard with his dog very aggressively towards me as I was riding out of the driveway. His wife standing on point behind him.  Seeing the man striding ardently towards me, I said, "Hello." No answer. We had ridden by these folks before this house and they did not raise a hand of friendliness even though we were the only four people on this road.  I smiled and rode on.  I thought about this aggressive behavior born out of their genuine concern, was overkill on his part seeing no one stopped or got off a bike to go near a building. People.

Now on to the neighborhood we first settled in 38 years ago.  Most of the neighbors had died, this small community of houses, we all knew each other so well back then. Decades ago we had fun chatting in the back yard. Shared cookies and dishes in the summer, the neighbors loved me because I had the only babies in the neighborhood. Our family was invited anytime to visit and swim in their pools. Nice neighborhood. Such a sweet memory, such good people.

We rode passed these houses now occupied by new residents and they waved at me and smiled.  I stopped to meet someone new and he was so friendly and open in conversation and smiles. None of these folks were afraid I was up to no good even though they had never seen me before and I thought what a difference in people in our old neighborhood and those back at Pictuay Road.

Our house is back from the road. The driveway is 1/4 mile away from the main road.  Occasionally a car or truck drives all the way to our house to take a look and I actually think, maybe a new friend. Many times curiosity is cured with a look, I don't mind, I drive down private roads to look too. No harm, just looking.

How different all our lives would be if we thought good of everyone we met until they give us reason not to.  If we couldn't laugh at such people as the watchdog couple we would all go insane.

Inner peace causes outward actions of peace for benign situations.

 

A Holiday Bike Ride with my Sweetheart

There was a university study I read about years ago testing who has a better sense of direction men or women.  The experiment put a woman in a room with a blindfold and turned her around a few times and then asked her to point North.  Then a man was put in the room blindfold told the same thing. This was done with several different men and women.  The conclusion was men have a natural compass that guides them to pick the correct direction 9 times out of ten.  Women could not pick the correct direction, one time out of ten, a few women, proving the man has a natural instinct for directions and thus must be the reason men do not like to stop and ask for directions when out driving. Idk I read everything...

What I do know is women remember landmarks for directions, men remember route numbers and road names better.  This also was a proven fact of study. Now I know am pretty good at directions both route names and landmarks but I remember my husband is a man when trying to talk to him about any directions and today I am reminded I am still a woman. Brings me to today...

We decided to ride our bikes around the countryside of our town.  It is sunny 80 degrees and it is my first ride outside this season so I don't want to go too far, maybe ten miles if it is flat roads mostly. Now my sweetheart rides 20 - 40 miles a day and I knew he would have to slow down for me so I told him to go ahead and leave me, so he can get his workout and not worry about me, I am a tourist rider for sure. I stop at creeks, look at trees, watch critters, and enjoy the old neighborhood we lived in when we first married and had wee ones. He insists he wants to be with me today for fun.

He is constantly asking me where I was going and I said "Idk, I'm riding till I don’t want to anymore."  After a ride to the old neighborhood and a stop at a creek with a sip of water I realized I had gone far enough my first day and wanted the flattest route home. He gave me several options that got so detailed, (he knows each curve and hill so well)…that I got testy…

And say "Forget it, I'm hot, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I did not know it would take me this long to get here, I need more water, how long would it take you to ride back home the way we just came, get the car, and come pick me up?'  He says, "If I go back it will about 25 minutes, then ten to get back here with the car total... 35 minutes."  

I say, “If I keep going the longer way how long will it take me to get home?"  He says, "About an hour, or a little more."  

Ok I want to get home quicker so I say, "If you go back the shorter way, (Hills to climb, no thanks) and I continue on the far way to Feura Bush (flatter roads yes please) can you drive back by the nursery on that road by the railroad to pick me up?"

"What road?"  "The one by the nursery."  "You mean Creble Road?" "I don't know the road name, the nursery road, you know!" "No I don't know."  "OMG, you take a right on 9W, past the post office, past the school, a flashing light, take a left there, go by the nurseries, I'll meet you on that road somewhere."

He turns his bike and rides off.  "Jesus I think how long have we lived here?"  So I continue to Feura Bush, I walk my bike, I ride my bike, I turn past Stewart's go down to the road with the nursery at the other end...Yes, it was named Creble Rd. Dammit. He's right again!

I ride to the other end of Creble, passed the nurseries, take a right by the flashing light, go up past the school, the post office, take a left on 396, thinking good grief if I knew he was taking this long I would have just told him to go home and I’ll be there later. Oh I wish I had an ice cold chocolate protein shake, yeah, that would be nice...  Now I begin to think..."I hope he is OK, I hope his bike did not break down, or anything bad happened to him... why is he so late it's been more than 35 minutes, where is he? I’m tired!"

As I'm riding down snakey, windey, 396, I know I can make it home now, from here it is flat road all the way... I'm thankful but concerned about him...

He shows up.  "Why did you take so long?" I ask. So he tells his story, he took longer to get home than thought, he had to find his bike rack for the Cherokee, then he had to find a crossbar for my bike to mount it and well...the list goes on... He says “You want to ride on home now you are so close?"  I said, "No. I'm not in competition with myself, I'll take a ride thank you."

He put the bike on the rack and says, "I can't believe you made it this far, I thought you were going to stop?"  "I was, but it was so hot and I dislike stopping when I'm trying to get home. You know I have ADHD, I prefer to keep moving."  He said, "I totally get it, I hate to sit and wait too."

I jumped in the seat beside him, a little miffed but he did the best he could so I really could not be mad at him. It is not his fault I had to turn back.  He said," I brought you a chocolate protein shake if you want it?"  Me, "Is it cold?" "Yes, icey just the way you like it."  😉  (Too bad, nobody loves me, too bad…)

Hollywood is Not a Think Tank

Movies are NOT the place to learn HOW to THINK FOR yourself or to rational decisions.  Constantly bombarded with information in movies that are created and produced to spin the makers slant on any subject is another way to seduce the mind of every audience.  Young impressionable minds can get the wrong idea easily and actually believe it. 

I was working with a Jewish college girl that came from Israel to go to school here.  She had seen the film "American Beauty" and thought ALL men here were lechers, like the father in that movie. When I saw the movie I thought it was disgusting and was really disappointed that this naïve youngster actually believed what she saw in a movie. Young people learn from the environment they are raised in and this kind of movie does not teach any useful tools to "Fix" the problem or unite all people here in America.

Hollywood can be very misleading to the audience in that these actors spend their entire profession in fantasy. The characters they play are highly emotional and NOT driven by logic.  The parts they play must evoke emotional chaos of every situation, to make a movie. (Without a problem to solve there is no reason to watch the movie.)

As a result, problems in movies are magnified.  Many times the problem is solved illegally.  As you get wiser, you see this. Hopefully...

Many "justified" good endings in a movie make unsuspecting audience members happy with an ending that solves the problems with the same chaotic reasoning that started the problem. Violence, lies, and vigilantes, an ending that will land a real US citizen in jail for life or dead. 

I think I’d rather go for a walk, bike ride, or kayak and read a book later. Think my own thoughts of viable, legal, reasonable, solution and plans for my own life. Staying thankful for what I have and who I am another day in the USA.

Going to The Movies Will Divide Us More

A Facebook post from a friend I follow about a new movie coming out showing the prejudice between a rich man and an immigrant is once again too simplistic to really approach the problem.  

The latest brainwashing tactics from Hollywood will be actors getting together with writers to make movies that reveal that the problem, (according to them) is rich people like Donald Trump. OK...

The very people that Hollywood actors portray and the very people that write these scripts are rich people too. They all live in gated communities and get their money from people like you and me. They live the lifestyle of the rich with no apologies for their misgivings and mistakes. 

I can never forget years ago when Barbara Streisand spoke out about how she had to do "her part" to help prevent global warming.  She could not sit by in silence any longer,  she did a concert, donated the money to the cause and because she felt it was 'her duty, her responsibility' as a famous face, to TELL us, average Americans we need ..."To cut off our air conditioners for so many hours each day to do our part...in reducing global warming" 

Meanwhile ... she had 5 houses at the time, with servants that lived there 24/7 year round to maintain the properties.  How many A/C units were on her palatial five properties to maintain comfort for her household servants, plants, and pets, while she told us to turn ours off? 

If you want to truly help entertainment industry, give your money and spare time to charities you support to educate others with facts instead of announcing what we average Americans must do to be an informed activist like you.  

Many of us are informed, we just think different in how to accomplish the same goals.

The world has enough anger, let's find another way to disagree kindly as we work on a solution together.  

Going to the movies is not going to help I see...

Part Two Tomorrow, something people don't suspect when watching a movie...

Education and Opportunity, Grab it, Run with It, Do Not, Do Not, Look back

A friend has a niece that is so talented and smart at 15 y o that she has colleges clamoring to get her at their college for soccer or track.  Imagine being so sought after at such a young age?

What would this 60 y o woman say to this kind of God given talent?  Grab the opportunity, keep your head in the books and stay the hell away from men for now...

Develop your self, keep yourself safe, study, exercise your sport, and head for the gold.  I love men, I do but when it comes to a woman having an opportunity like this, travel light, travel fast, years will melt away before you know it and what an opportunity!  Plenty of time for men later, like after 30 years old.  Sounds like a long way away but it is not really, at 15 you are halfway there now.

All women, "Let being a mother and marriage wait!"  Once you cross that threshold there is no turning back, and no time for you only.  Go as far as you can, and keep going until you are truly happy.  Then look around for an accomplished man to compliment your life.  Make sure he is good natured and happy too!

Children can be wonderful when you have time to focus on them first and that cannot be when you are going fast and far in education and sports.  I know I may be dreaming but looking back, I say, sex is not worth the chance of getting pregnant before you are settled down.  Sex highly overrated, but men don't agree, but who needs to ask them about anything really?  You have a brain.

Getting input from a significant other is necessary when you are in a relationship and have babies but not now.  Young and free, more to life than being a wife or mother for sure.

On your mark, get set, go......Do Not, Do Not Look Back till after your race of life is won...

Nothing but Gratefulness for this Peaceful Country

Sometimes I learn of happenings in other countries and what the people are having to endure and I get so thankful for this one.  Whatever comes, here is where I was born and here is where I will live.  I love this country. I love the people that come to this country. I love what this country stands for.

Democracy and individual freedom with a heart is this country's foundation, everything else is just details. I believe in this country, this government, and I believe our leaders want democracy and individual freedom too.  It is not perfect but we are working on it.  This country's government has not been established 300 years yet, give it time...

Last night I lie safe in my bed in my room in the Hudson Valley country with the window open smelling the fresh spring air, earlier I saw the goldfinch turn bright yellow another spring, and I breathed in, "I am so thankful for all I have," and I breathed out, "I wish all people on earth can know this peace too."  No matter what happens today, I will be kind, have fun, and "Move on."  USA is great.  Thanks Jimmy Buffet for the reminder.

In time, all will be well.  So thankful my vets came home safe.

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

Now.  Jimmy Buffet  performs a song that he reveals he has a watch that reads NOW.
He also said years ago he decided religion was not for him that he'd rather live fun and let fun kicks death ass.

We can search for answers, look for healing, meditate, do positive confirmations and a gratitude list daily or we can "Have fun living, even when crap happens, breathe in, breathe out, MOVE ON.

Now I think I'll study Eckhart Tolle and Jimmy Buffet... 😉

"Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On"

I bought a cheap watch from a crazy man
Floating down canal
It doesn't use numbers or moving hands
It always just says now
Now you may be thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And If I have trouble the warranty said
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

And it rained, It was nothing really new
And it blew, we've seen all that before
And it poured, the Earth began to strain
Pontchartrain leaking through the door, tides at war

If a hurricane doesn't leave you dead
It will make you strong
Don't try to explain it just nod your head
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

[Guitar Solo]

And it rained, It was nothing really new
And it blew, seen all that before
And it poured, the Earth began to strain
Pontchartrain buried the 9th Ward to the 2nd floor

According to my watch the time is now
Past is dead and gone
Don't try to shake it just nod your head
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

Don't try to shake it just bow your head
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

Parents Stop Stealing Children's Childhoods

Today I read about another fallen soldier to be buried and the local church going to protest the funeral saying because he was an American soldier he should have been left to die in that foreign country on the ground. The article read that this is this church way of saying God is punishing America for accepting homosexuality. Take me back to the stoneage...good grief!

Now this soldier's family would have been exposed to these angry people except for the "Patriots Guard" that is  a group of retired soldiers that carry flags and surround the funeral area as guests to prevent the family from seeing or hearing the angry protests of the church. You can contact them online if you are in need of a motorcycle escort with American flags.  So thankful for these men and women.  As a granddaughter of a veteran, daughter of a veteran, sister to a veteran and a mother of three veterans, I say let the families grieve in peace. As a supporter of gay rights, let it be.

What bothered me the most was the pictures of little children carrying these hateful signs. So young to be taught hate and so young to be taught worry over something (a society prejudice) that will not be solved quickly yet can rob children of the joy of being young and having fun. What if one of these Christian children is gay?  Will this protest lead to their suicide?  So sad.

Imagine you, a child 8 years old have a weekend off from school and your parents spend time making signs with you one night or day to take to a funeral to protest the next?  That is no fun for the child.

How about minding your own household business and spend the day or night building a kite one day to go fly a kite the next day with a picnic lunch with parents?

My major rant to anyone that has a child, 0-15, carrying any adult worry from global warming, to homosexuality, you are stealing that child's childhood!  Let them be little for a while, they will be adults with adult worries for the remainder of life. For now go fly a kite, don't know how? GTS or youtube...no excuses parents.

Peace Does Not Mean Life is without Troubles

The Dalai Lama teaches we all just want be happy. The problem he teaches, is, we have become confused. "People are to be loved and things are to be used, now too many people love things and use people." People look to things to make them happy instead of looking within to find calm waters.

The irony of this is that most of the world is sitting on the throne of enlightenment and consciousness but we don't know it.  When you don't have much it is much easier to look within. Confidence, respect, happiness, patience, and joy, that are found within are the true freedom everyone is seeking.

I listened to the Dalai Lama and his struggles to restore Tibet to his people for 50 years, and meanwhile he travels the world with his teachings of how to achieve inner peace.  He is very clear to impart the wisdom that peace does not mean there will not be trouble.  Life has troubles, that is life. He knows to teach inner peace/compassion is his purpose. He is thankful to be here even though he is sad he is homeless. (Without Tibet)

Today I listened to Maya Angelou share a speech "A Rainbow In The Clouds."  She spoke of life as being a struggle and how she loved  every bit of her life. "Life is a struggle and that is life."  She said if we look we can see the rainbows in our life, people that paid a price for us to be here, and we should thank them for this. She is thankful to help others find their peace with her voice of experience.

It seems the wise ones all come to this realization.

Life is a university of adventure, a challenge to direct our paths to the purpose of our joy, with ups and downs that build our strong character, life can be fun, to see this is to become happy.

Kissing Another Author Good-bye

I try to not turn on the TV anymore and I do not read emails unless related to a product I order or work. I have unfollowed almost everyone on Facebook because I am tired of the one sided political rants that show no consideration of a different non-violent view.

I get it if you are in another country with a physical war zone with no shelter and the town you live in is completely blown to smithereens and you say, "There has to be another way, I got to get out of here to stay alive."  This makes sense.

But here in the USA, when do you get tired of fighting/arguing in this country with one another? When do you learn to discuss solutions without the anger and division? Is this possible?  I think so, in this country, maybe I'm naive?

Today an author who I have enjoyed for a while and even bought one of her books, has written another book which I will not be buying because she is so dang angry about life. I saw a FB posting and realized, "She is so missing the point."  I listened to one of her chapters online for free and see her judgment is lacking. She is good at expressing herself in words.

She reposted an analogy on FB that made no sense. She was addressing one subject in comparison to another and it simply was not a comparable analogy at all.  (Stay on the same page if you have a valid point, this was not it for sure.)

Her adult idealism of peace through cumbaya is good, I have this too, but the childlike naivete that all wrongdoing can be dealt with peacefully is lacking in wisdom.  Even Buddha knew this was not possible.

There is a teaching in The Noble Heart by Pema Chodron.  Buddha knew this warrior, this killer, intended to kill innocent people and Buddha tried to talk peace and stop him.  When the warrior would not turn from his intent to destroy innocents...(You'll have to read the book to see the answer.)

Yes "Peace" is the answer, at what costs to innocents?

Why Get Educated? The 14th Dalai Lama spoke to this best...

At another speech The Dalai Lama gave at the university he once again teaches the ways of peace. (See  You Tube - HH Dalai Lama: The Nature of Happiness, Fulfillment and Embodiment ~ ((Macalester College March 2, 2014))

The Dalai Lama said though education makes you smarter it does not make you compassionate.  The facilitator then asks "So what lessons would you have for us as educators, teachers, students, that will create a form of education that will make us more compassionate?'  He answers...

"Education matters to develop intellect. Purpose of education is to reduce gap between appearances and reality. Modern education insists teaching on material value not sufficient attention paid to the inner value."

He goes on to explain thousands years ago churches founded educational institutions and the church took care of inner person. Now with progress technology growing so fast educators focus on science of this more than spiritual care of persons.  Science deals with matter, religion deals with inner values, two very different fields but faith, deals with compassion.

He teaches, "Science cannot prove the existence of God or disprove existence of God and therefore it is separate things. These should not be seen as a conflict.  Science in the future will delve deeper and see connection between it and compassion but that will take a few more decades."

What science does know now through tests is that bad, negative, violent, thoughts cause pain and suffering even sickness in the human body.  We must choose to control our own thoughts to peace.

For now we must discipline our thoughts through meditation and kindness.  

Plagiarism is Everywhere...Kind of

There really is no new philosophies to teach now but there are many new ways to implement them. All explanations are an expansion of old ideas already written. The old school way of "Just Do It" does not work anymore.  People have questions and recognize the hurt that needs to heal before moving on.  

Good to take the time to heal, take as much as we need and in the end it is a matter of "Just do it." The right thing to do is only a thought away once you decide what it is.

Eckhart Tolle refers to philosophers and Jesus constantly. He put his spin on the old ideas and somehow he makes it live more than the KJV does.  Good.  We need good solid principles with understanding to apply it in our lives, for without understanding, we will not move to a positive change.

Thankful for all the writers of books and the ability to read.  

You Alone Have The Key To Changing Your Life's Course

I was in biblical research ministry for 14 years, I thought this was my life purpose.  I was going to be ordained and do missionary work in Scotland and the rest of the world for the rest of my life with this ministry, I loved the teachings. I really thought this ministry has the truth that will set everyone free from stagnated religions like most Christian denominations, Judaism and Catholicism, if only they knew, I thought... I was going to be a reverend with my husband and travel the world spreading the message. Children and a home were not on the agenda for me, ever.

In my 13th year of ministry training just before graduating, my husband and I were on a mission in Nevada.  The leaders were abruptly dismissed for the husband’s sexual misconduct with church members. We took over.  The people were hurting for a leader and we were next in line. 

What I saw there made me realized for the first time this ministry work was NOT for me.  People came back for counseling time and time again for the same problem and I asked them, "What changed? You or the scripture verse?" 

They always said, "Me, I stopped doing the work."   

And I said, "I can't help you change, you have to do that inner work. We all have to do our own work."

Other people can set an example, wave their arms and tell you. "Hey Over here! This is the way to go..." and if you like it you may choose to copy or follow for a while till you find your own way but no one really changes you.  

You change when you want to and not until then will you really change.

This I thought was my life's purpose, to travel and teach, but as I changed in understanding me, so my role had to change.  In time more conflicting things at this ministry made it clear we had to leave this ministry to follow our core beliefs.  Our core was much purer than those leading that ministry. For sure!  

We left, no regrets, no bitterness, moving on was good. So many life lessons learned there, it was a nice experience. Who knew my next role would be mother?

Being a Warrior for Any Cause is an Exhausting and Unfilling Life

Recently a life coach, author, leader of women's sexual revolution, helped hundreds overcome sexual abuse, maybe thousands, I did not know her... committed suicide.  In my quest to find answers to why people do this I offer this suggestion.

My husband said, "Well she does not have to authenticate her motives anymore."

And I said,"Why? If she was set free through her own liberation from it, why did she take her life?"

In further investigation of her you tube speeches and her life story I see she is passionate about the subject. Sensitive and wonderful in her release from it and she seemed to think her purpose was to set others free in this one area as well.  In time she claimed to become a "warrior" of the cause but I do not think becoming a fighter or warrior is all she was meant to be.

At one point she became frustrated even angry at others that did not get the immediate relief as she did when she discovered this method that worked for her.  She wanted it worse for others than they did and maybe, just maybe, her sense of self boundaries and what she could do got fuzzy in her mind and she lost site of the bigger picture.  I can't say.  What I can say is her life was more than a coach, author, or warrior. In death I do hope she found the peace she did not find here on earth.  

Becoming a warrior at times in life is necessary but all your life every minute? No, this is stressful and I believe our minds were meant to be peaceful, enjoying our stay here for a few decades.  That's just me... A warrior, a fighter all your life?  No...that will wear your poor body and mind out to an early grave.  We are not and cannot be a savior to this world. If we save our self, we have done our job.

Realizing we can offer people solutions is enough.  To want their deliverance more than they do is self-destructive.  To know your limits and when to mind your own business after the message was delivered is self-preservation and  necessary.

The Lesson From a Black headed Seagull

Today we saw many black headed seagulls at Rehoboth Beach, DE.  These birds we did not notice when we were visiting Orchard Beach, Maine last year and yet seeing as they migrate south from Eastern Canada one would think there would have been many there.  As we sat and watched them fly, we noticed the group were not as noisy as the white headed gulls we see at most beaches.

I said to my Sweetheart, "Although it would be wonderful to fly like that over the water, it must be a surprise if it should be flying out to sea and eating, and then have an unexpected storm take you further out, so far out you have no strength to get back to shore and maybe into the water to die."

My Honey said, "They probably cannot know surprise because they live in the moment, truly in the moment.  If they  get carried out to sea, they don't get anxious, they just fly with it, if they go down and can't get back up in the air they don't know it until it happens.  They either get up and live or stay down and drown, but they have no anxiety about the life they live, they just go with it."

By George I think he's right.  Eckhart Tolle teaches to be present every moment is to be free. We see it in nature everyday. We humans love to attach human emotions to every living thing, (I know I tend to do this) yet the animal kingdom operates out of a need to know basis, instinct.  The rebound time is shorter for them it seems, survival is all that matters.

Nature does teach us many things but the maybe the best lesson is to be present and just go with it.  If we humans could live in this consciousness of no anxiety about what will happen and no regrets over what happened yesterday life would be simpler.  We could just get on with living life doing what we love to do.

Ferris Wheel Top Stop

What is it about Ferris wheels that make us want to stop on the top?

Last night we were walking by one and decided to jump on.  I said to my Sweetheart, "Let's kiss like in the movies at the top of the wheel.   As was wanted, the Ferris wheel stopped at the top to let more people get on at the bottom.  We enjoyed the view, the lights of the beach, the ocean waves in the moonlight.

My Sweetheart said, "We have never ridden a Ferris wheel together."

Hard to believe, I have taken the kids to Great Escape so many summers I cannot recall and I have ridden all sorts of thrilling rides with the little dears.

So I say, "This is romantic just like in the Notebook movie!"

He leans over  while finishing up a yawn and gives me the kiss I wanted...

Not exactly romantic, but dutifully as he has loved me all these 40 years, he tries to accommodate me once more.

Is it me or does this couple look like they are a laundry mat?

There Are Many Way To The Top Of A Mountain, No Fooling!

Men and women that have a good sense of right and wrong and confidence to go with it see their way as the best way, some falsely believe their way is the only way.  This may be true in a dark cave with no light, but when it comes to climbing a mountain in sunlight we see there are many paths to the top. The same is true when it comes to getting things accomplished in creative thought and actions in policy and government, much light is needed to make a way, and there is more than one way to the top of that mountain.

The inside of any person, the heart of any person, can only be known through the person herself/himself.  Everyone else is just guessing what you mean, no one knows your motives but you.

Having said this, "I will make a huge statement here. I do not believe any person rises to the position of POTUS without a good intention of helping the American people and the world at large.  Three branches of government are a checkmate for any POTUS and then there is us, the American citizens.
We vote.  I have voted for presidents that did not get elected. I have voted for presidents that did not do what they promised to do, still, I believe in the person in this country to be a good person not a dictator.

I have met people who came here from Nazi Germany, I have met people who came here from Russia, China, Iraq, and these legal immigrants are thankful to be here and love the freedom we enjoy by birth.

This new generation that does not see how wonderful this country is under any president we have had so far are young and naive.  The government is made up of fallible humans, and cannot ever be perfect but the heart of this country is good no matter how misguided anyone thinks it may be.

Sure change is needed, people who love money and power are sitting in Congress and every other political seat in America down to the mayor of our towns.  Change will come whether we like it or not and things will happen for the good and the bad of us all.  But I think we must remember...

In the founding of this country most Colonials did not want the Constitution of America to be written and held forth precisely for the reason of putting too much money and power in the hands of the educated and elite, the few.  But thanks to Alexander Hamilton and the Federalist Papers a spear head of these and the fact he had no allegiance to this country, The Constitution was established.

George Washington was not a big fan but in light of the future of this country and the men running the newly formed government he thought it would be the best they could do, but he was very aware of the corruption that could follow.

So we are here only  a few decades. I for one want to be part of the solution not the problem so I do what I can.  My time here is not going to be one of constant fighting, not in this country.  My immigrant friends love this country because they have something to compare it to, the violence and prisons they came from.  "Trump is nothing like the dictators or Nazis," our legal immigrant friends words, not mine.

I have sat patiently and peacefully  while waiting for POTUS I did not like to get voted out.

There are many ways to the top of a mountain, yours and mine are not the only way when it comes to the POTUS.  No fooling...