I was in biblical research ministry for 14 years, I thought this
was my life purpose. I was going to be ordained and do missionary work in
Scotland and the rest of the world for the rest of my life with this ministry,
I loved the teachings. I really thought this ministry has the truth that will
set everyone free from stagnated religions like most Christian denominations,
Judaism and Catholicism, if only they knew, I thought... I was going to be a
reverend with my husband and travel the world spreading the message. Children
and a home were not on the agenda for me, ever.
In my 13th year of ministry training just before graduating, my
husband and I were on a mission in Nevada. The leaders were abruptly
dismissed for the husband’s sexual misconduct with church members. We took
over. The people were hurting for a leader and we were next in line.
What I saw there made me realized for the first time this ministry
work was NOT for me. People came back for counseling time and time again
for the same problem and I asked them, "What changed? You or the scripture
verse?"
They always said, "Me, I stopped doing the work."
And I said, "I can't help you change, you have to do that inner work. We all have to do our own work."
Other people can set an example, wave their arms and tell you. "Hey
Over here! This is the way to go..." and if you like it you may choose to
copy or follow for a while till you find your own way but no one really changes you.
You change when you want to and not until then will you really change.
This I thought was my life's purpose, to travel and teach, but as I changed in understanding me, so my role had to change. In time
more conflicting things at this ministry made it clear we had to leave this ministry to follow
our core beliefs. Our core was much purer
than those leading that ministry. For sure!
We left, no regrets, no bitterness, moving on was good. So many life lessons learned there, it was a nice experience. Who knew my next role would be mother?
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