China does what?

Today I met a man while out walking in down state and struck up a conversation, He is married to a professional woman who stays in China most of the time. He prefers America so he stays here works and goes home stress free and at peace every day. He married when he was older almost 50 for the first time and was not interested in having kids as he was raised in an Irish Catholic family where of course birth control was forbidden. He the oldest was so tired of babysitting his younger siblings he along with 5 of his siblings decided not to have children.  They are all in careers of their choice and childless. Each very concerned with serving the welfare of others as each sibling is a state trooper, police or FBI, this man is a ranger.

He married a professional from China. She is all business, works in a bank. No plans for children in their future. They have a bi-continental marriage arrangement. Sometimes he goes to China to visit her and her family takes them all over China and Europe.

I asked him about China and his insight are the main reason I now have added China to my "No Fly Zone," He tells me the following:

1) There is  99% conviction rate, all judges, juries, police, etc. take bribes and can be bought. Everyone is deathly afraid of the police.

2) There are cameras in the big cities everywhere and if a person jay walks the picture is taken and you are convicted with a fine.  Get enough points and you no longer can get a passport to fly, for the rest of your life.

3) When college kids march or cause a disruption in objection to the government, the military are sent to round up the protesters and they disappear off the planet. No one ever sees them again. Parents do not try to locate them because of fear they too will disappear.  Yikes...

4) The garbage and filth outside of Hong Kong is astronomical.  There are entire malls and condos built with no inhabitants. Total waste of the people's money.  No thanks, I'll pass on this tour.

He also has travels Europe extensively and added that countries that opened their borders in Europe got the worst criminals from Africa flooding in to the point the police cannot maintain law and order.

I asked him with FBI agents and police in his family what is his view of the wall being built south of the border here. He said, "Yes anything will help, however the laws allowing these people to step one foot in our country and then allowed to stay while a complicated law process has to happen for them to be sent back needs to change. By the time the paperwork is complete these illegals cannot be located to be sent back." Stricter laws that prevent this and protect Americans is needed.

I asked him if he had heard of Australia and how hard it is to get into that country? He said, "No." Want to see some strict immigrant laws? Check out Australia, they are not letting anyone in until they say the country can afford it.  Don't believe me do your own research. Anyway back to minding my own business and being present. If you think about he world you'll go crazy.

Glad to be an American and the more I hear about the rest of the world the less I want to travel there. Glad I listen to others and save me the travel.  With my carefree personality I might do something unknowingly and disappear too! I think I'll stay home. I love my backyard and sipping tea.

Now to get these corrupt career politicians out of office asap! We need the younger generation with new ideas in all government positions, to save this country and the citizens. The better the country will be.

Thankful a few of us never get complacent about this country and the freedoms we have as law abiding citizens.  I think we are called average American taxpayers.

Remember there are no royals here, let's keep it that way.😉

"A mind stretched by new experiences can never go back to its original dimensions." ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Nyack Beach State Park

Another treasure that many may not know is the beautiful river side walk up the trail of this park.  The air was perfect and the people are so friendly. I stumbled upon it today while looking for a place to park, enjoy a view, and eat my salad.

The mallards, the egrets, and a baby deer crossed my path, and yes I petted the fawn. She/He was about 24 inches high with long legs, adorable. (Still a bit wobbly, obviously lost the mom temporarily.)  So many mothers with strollers were stopped and worried over the little thing, women are so sweet, anything baby we need to care for it, even in the wild.

Finally it began to climb the steep incline and I sent it a wish and walked on, after all it is built for climbing and I pray the mother is close.  That is the first time I was that close to a fawn and it had no fear, it let anyone pet it without biting or running.

Up around the corner you can drive to a plateau of gorgeous rock, with a view to the north of a spectacular rock formation and a view to the south of the Hudson River, breathtaking. In the distance you can see the new Tappen Zee Bridge. 

Yes it is a walk and bike trail that I will be visiting again with our family. What a fun day. Want to know a great advantage of paying your New York taxes?  Check out the national parks!  This is a day trip worth doing. Picnic on the plateau with wildlife nearby and a million dollar view. 

"I'll be back!"

 Thankful to have eyes to see this and meet great people again today.

If Anyone Else Listens to Eckhart...

Today the lesson might seem the same but it was not for me.  He taught that the universe is expressing itself through you, it likes to create but cannot unless you love the process.  So not to get caught up in the outcome but the process of creating is where the joy of living comes in to play.

Most of us are so caught up in the outcome that we miss the great calm of the present moment. ET references the Bible a lot, he teaches that God, essence, universe, created the earth in 7 days and after said, "This is good." 

Therefore the creating we do is good.  When we create with all our heart and love, the thing we create will be good. 

Then he said something I really identify with, he said, once essence is through creating through you, you will want to be still, in the present moment. I love being silent, sipping tea, in my nature back yard more than anything. My challenge is to be still in "every" situation, I'm still working on this. 

Now this is something I really know about, being still.  I have a nothing box in my mind every time I sit in our backyard.  He said, once you get the essence of the Bible, you do not need to study it anymore. I have said this for years to my husband.  He said, the entire Bible is summed up in one verse, "Be still and know that I am God."

I use to tell God for years, "If I promise to be happy and thankful every minute of every day for the rest of my life, no matter what happens, will you find a way to pay me for this?"  I put a magnet on my refrigerator years ago, it says, "I want to get paid for living."  It was a joke I thought but now I'm wondering if the universe can make it so?  I would LOVE that! Hey, I heard years ago a goal is not a goal until you write it down!  So this is my goal, don't judge me...I  won't judge you. Hahahaha!

Thankful to be still, most days.  😁

Quick name 10 things You Can do here in the USA as a Woman that other Women in other countries cannot...Go

1) Go to school from Pre-K to doctorate safely

2) Choose if to marry, who to marry, when to marry and use birth control methods.

3) Choose to run a "Woman Owned" Business

4) Drive a vehicle

5) Divorce with rights

6) Wear clothing of any choice

7) Be a financially secure independent woman

9) Own property

10)  File legal charges against anyone that harms you.

Now that we have these freedoms let's enforce them, let's live them now. Let's make all accountable to live by the laws already set up. Laws that were once so beneficial to men, are our rights too.

Enough of me and my thoughts, back to minding my own business, not my job to run the world. I just like to pretend I'm in charge sometimes. You will do what you want, we both do anyway, us Americans are like that. Namaste.

Take Care of Yourself First

Whenever there is a need for ongoing money to sustain a business, there is a need for steady, recurring money coming in.  Government, hospitals, doctors, (including dentists) any successful business, must rely on recurring money coming in to keep the lights on.

We were talking about products such as "illumibowl, squatty potty" which led to a talk about business making profits.  These first two products are nice but unnecessary because people have had to eliminate without the help of these products since the beginning of time. To sell these there has to be ongoing promotion worldwide to keep customers, the distributors have to create a need in your mind. And without repeat customers, no ongoing money.

People who have businesses based on human needs, eating, health, housing, clothing, heat, emergency medicine, will have repeat business, but business based on services such as ongoing medical care, medicine, law, computers, phones, church, beauty salons, will have to create a need for anyone to go there repeatedly. If you only go once to any of these, there will not be repeat business, there will not be residual money for them.

Many people in their youth want to make a difference in the world.  Doctors, lawyers, researchers, photographers, entertainers, artists, in their youth really want to help mankind and some spend years going to school to learn their special interest. Then the reality of having money coming in to pay for food , housing, staff, office equipment, if needed, becomes reality, their rose colored glasses of youth come off quickly. Hard decisions need to be made, money does not grow on trees, unless you come from money or have access to taxpayers' money.

How much money is enough for you to feel successful? How much work will you do for it?

Case in point: I had a neurologist who was an associate to the partner who had majority interest in the practice so he wrote the rules of the office. He learned decades ago he could make more money trying new drugs on his patients than seeing patients in general. He decided no to see patients that could afford to pay out of pocket for medical services. The patients that could afford to pay full price for his services would negate his income.

My insurance lapsed for a short period of time due to me not paying it on time and I had a severe migraine. I needed more meds which I could not get without another office exam to acquire a new script. In severe pain, I went to the office in person with cash in hand and asked to see my doctor.

My doctor heard me at the desk, and waved me into her private office, shut  the door, and told me, "I can't see you, Dr.**** has this contract with the drug companies based on the knowledge that none of the patients here can pay without insurance.  He owns this office, I cannot do anything, I cannot see you, I'm sorry."  I went to the ER and got a shot of Demoral.

Do you think this doctor is concerned with helping patients now? Or are we just patients that he needs to use as guinea pigs keep his office going through payments he receives quarterly from drug companies for his research?

This is one of my major reasons I want to depend on me to be my doctor first. You should too, take care of yourself first with a clean diet and exercise, after this the genetics and accidents are going to happen.  Dealing with your mind after such unforeseen disasters, now becomes the remedy.
Thankful for learning how to bring my thoughts into alignment every day with daily practice.

Unbruised Prosperity

Unbruised prosperity is  weak  and easy to defeat in challenges of life.

But anyone that has been in a constant feud with misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering. This person gets up one more time, keeps going and never gives up.

I'd like to take credit for the words but alas I cannot, it comes from a book of stoic philosophers and this is a translation of another one of good old "Epictetus."

I get the principle but I love the way it is written here.

Thankful for great writers.

And Now Presenting...

Your life. No time for hesitation, no time for holding on, if you are meaning to do a thing, do it now.

The thing is we think we have time, we think we can do that tomorrow. Truth is we can get so caught up in doing what we have to do that we will not, cannot slow down to really think what "we" want to do or how to do it.

Or have we slowed down on our personal dream because it is too hard? Have we lost our luster, our zeal for going after it?  Lost our patience?

Do we "think" too much? When we think too much, we don't take action.

Are we in a holding pattern for a while? Then "sit still being thankful" for all you have...

This one secret, being thankful for all you have now, is the positive energy mindset needed to show you what you are to do next. Don't believe me, try it.

Be persistent to being thankful every moment of every day and life will reveal itself to you.

You are exactly where you need to be, if you were not, you would do something different.

Be kind to yourself.

Thankful in my latter years learning to be present more and more. Life is easier now.

My Heroes Today...

When I was young I look to heroes such as Susan B Anthony and Charles Dickens, although there are many more, I never idolized entertainers, I'm too much of a realist.

Now my heroes are anyone that does anything good and kind for a child.

I read that Mister Fred Rogers said the same.

Wonder how we came to this?

Thankful to see the importance of childhood now.

 

Never Underestimate A College Educated Woman with Her Own Money

Visiting Susan B Anthony Birthplace Museum in Adams, MA reinforces what I have come to know about the great women of  change I have read about in the early nineteenth century...educated women that come from wealthy supportive families that include a father and mother in the home, started a movement that all women would join in time.

Many of the Suffragettes had a moral code they followed because of their religious beliefs, however knew when to NOT follow these religions when it impaired women's right to be vocal about equality to any man in marriage, intelligence, professional position, and decision making. SBA and Alice Paul identified as Quakers. They decided to dedicate their life to change for women. For women to have power in politics and the law, they had to be able to legally vote. For without a vote they were being governed without representation in the USA. They chose a career over a family, never married or had children. Since there was no birth control, how do you think these educated women accomplished this?

The main women, the founders, came from religious, respectful, families that supported the Abolitionist cause and saw the need for women to vote. Many of the top leaders decided not to marry or have children. Their obsession was for one thing, work to obtain the legal right to vote for women. 

The founders were in close contact with the aristocrats of society. These aristocratic women had family wealth and who had married men of wealth, these were the ones that financed the Suffragettes through donations.  Husbands supported the donations to the cause, not all men were bigoted. Once enough donations were secured, the leaders could go on the lecture circuit to spread the news to women about the need to lobby the government to give women the right to vote. They printed their own flyers, they sewed their own banners, and marched in peaceful parades.  Violence occurred when crowds that disagreed started it.

Lecturers were able to collect more money for the cause from the general public on the lecture circuits. Women who had obtained a college education through much adversity and women that did not come from wealthy families joined. Whatever was needed they volunteered to do. They would do manual labor and domestic duties, nothing was beneath these women of determination with a heart to serve others to cause positive change for all. None of these women would reduce themselves to selling their bodies for any purpose. This would not be considered.

What these women endured through imprisonment, chauvinistic men, blinded women, that hit them, threw bottles and vegetables at them simply because they wanted equality is unimaginable to the modern woman of USA...or is it?  Where did these "strong women go?"

Today we have American women more concerned about looking beautiful, being worshipped, getting rich, and being praised, than being respected independent thinkers with a heart of service to others including their own children. 

Many women and "celebrity" women today will take off their clothes to get attention, to walk the red carpet, to be in a movie, to be famous, and too many young girls and boys, lacking sound parental guidance are confused as they watch this on their Ipads...Egads!  This is not behavior to copy and it does not move women forward. We are going backwards in women's evolution with this behavior.

Here's a tip: Ladies, men like us even if we are fully clothed, there is another way to get respectable attention in this world.

We need women that are thought leaders that have a healthy self-respect to cause positive changes for all women and children in all professions with a view to "peaceful solutions." 

"If change is to be, it starts with me."

Susan B Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Catherine Catt, Alice Paul did their job in their time and now it is our time to carry the torch for men and women to unite for freedom, respect, independence and peace in our own country and our turn is now.  

Thankful for the right to vote, it was a beginning, now it is my turn to make a difference, so I write. I endeavor to be the change I want to see in the world knowing it is not my job to change anyone.

I found anger moves in me when I believe it is my job to change others and they do not.  We need change not angry hate towards one another.  We need laws that protect us from violence. We need to question our own thoughts.

What are you doing to cause positive social change? Do you think you need to do anything?

Thanks Susan, Catherine, Alice, Cady, etc.!

   

Confidence is Appealing To Everyone

Why do we love dare-devils?  Why are we attracted to the "Badass" woman or man?

Confident rebels that buck the system and get away with it can make us stand in awe.

We admire in others what we seek for ourselves. If we can't have it maybe we can near it, maybe we can say we know them personally, maybe in that way we can be also be admired or feel special?

How about you be confident in just being you?

Confident that "YOU ARE ENOUGH" is the most attractive quality any of us can have.

Thankful that in time with age, clarity of thought, and experience we gain confidence, and don't need to stand near or in the shadow of any "Badass"...anymore, this is called self- confidence. To be yourself, now that is appealing to everyone.

There Are Lots Of Good Men Out Here, I Found One...

Sometimes I get so incredibly happy about the life I have and the man I married that I have to say it again.  I married the right man. When I was young and so full of myself and he, full of himself,  we thought we knew everything better than the other, there was much turmoil.  But in time as we both learned to talk it out and respect each other's differences and the marriage came into focus.

If I had to say what attracted us to one another, first, looks, ok, but to the altar? No way.  My heart goes much, much, deeper than lust, looks, or money, as a matter of fact I would say it has to go deeper than that for any marriage/relationship, to last a lifetime and "be happy."

We both wanted a different life than our parents had shown us. We both wanted to be truly loved and in love with the other for our entire life.  We both had a tenacity to hold on and make it work because of this commitment to love the other a lifetime.

We both had the same level of courage, determination, motivation, and lack of direction.  We both were wild and free spirited yet basically good, kind people.  We both came from depression survivor grandparents that passed own the same poverty fears and frugality to each of us through our parents.

We both have some blatantly broken spirited relatives in our families and we did not want to fall into their addictions, we saw enough.  We both wanted to raise children to "THINK for themselves" and have confidence knowing they are ENOUGH.  We wanted children that loved one another and accepted others' differences. We wanted siblings that would be there for each other their entire life and be close, after we are gone. 

We 'wanted' to be together, NOT 'needed' to be together because we were desperate, lonely, or had no other choices. We both broke traditional expectations of what a husband and wife "should be and do." We changed the marriage vows, took out the word,"obey." We both believed in the other even when we fail down, we helped the other get up again. We tied a knot and held on through the storms. There have been many. We are both stubborn. (My father had a big influence to help me stay married early on, thank you Dad.)

We stayed together, not because of a piece of paper called, "a marriage license." I stayed because of our three children, I wanted them to have their bio mother and father living together happily with them. I wanted them to see their parents work through problems and compromise to be a peaceful and happy family.

I stayed because even though I never wanted to be married or have children in the first place, I changed my mind and now made a decision that included other lives. I needed to consider them now not just me. My husband stayed because he was enamored with me. (His words) He never met another woman he wanted to be with forever. "My God it has been a "Toad's Wild Ride" for both of us.

We got married because we saw greatness in the other and wanted to go through life free to be us, having fun with the other.  It has been fun and will continue to be.

We wanted a house in the country. We have one. We wanted three children, we have three. We wanted one person, to be our best friend for life, we have each other. Now we enjoy being present. Me, working, writing, sipping Kombucha, in the backyard, sitting by a campfire out back, enjoying deer, fox, groundhogs, turkeys, bear, cats, and peace. He working his own business, happy, sitting with me sometimes in the backyard or by a campfire, laughing and remembering the life behind, making plans for the life ahead and peace.

Whatever you don't get from your bio family, you seek in the world if you are not too afraid to go out into the world and find it. Break tradition, go your own way and don't settle. We both got what we wanted, now for the next adventure.

Thankful again today because I know my life has been much, much, easier because I  married this man. He has made a positive impact on me that I will forever be grateful for.  I love you Senior and the wonderful children we made. We have a good life, we made it so.

A great life begins with me. Finding inner peace gives clarity of action in outer conflicts.  If peace is to be, it must begin with me. I know this now. Thankful to have a good, kind, man by my side and inner peace most of the time.  😌

Unapologetically You

Who are you?  What do you believe?  Do you stand for something or do you follow the crowd?  Do you have an opinion that differs from others?  Do you voice it? Do you know when to be silent? Are you wise yet?  Do you know who to trust your innermost thoughts to and who NOT to?

When you know yourself, really know what you believe and what your core values are, you have confidence inside.  Fear dissipates as you stand in your shoes because you know who you are.  Embrace imperfection in life, perfection is not sustainable neither should it be, that is way too stressful.

Inner peace makes you shine. Makes you listen to others. Makes you bend to the need to be right all the time.  Makes you let others be first, be heard, be forgiven, be in charge. Gives yourself permission to be flawed, knowing no one has all the answers, no one can. Moving forward with a cause and a peaceful constitution will have greater chance of resolution.

Whatever your personality, if your heart is kind and good, you can always be "Unapologetically You."  The world loves genuine people.

Thankful to know you. Namaste.

Women Rights Museum in Seneca Falls, NY

The Women's Rights Museum is open and and Elizabeth Cady Stanton's house renovations are complete, and both are beautiful to see.  Definitely worth a trip to visit and remember the original 5 brave women who stirred the women's minds for reform to gain not only the right to vote for all but give women rights over property, their own children in a divorce and voice to work and be educated outside of the home.

We have these rights in place today in America.  The entire world will be better  when every religion and government of the world treat women with such respect lawfully.  I cannot know the world and the women everywhere because I have not studied world governments and the laws but when I see how women immigrants are dressed that come here and watch men disrespect the women at times, it makes me wonder what America will do for these men and women to make their lives equal and free. 

One major disrespect I see world wide is men allowing themselves to have many wives or mistresses as if this is the way of men when in fact this is not.  Women for generations in many cultures, even here in America, allow their husbands to be unfaithful and have many wives.  Men have to stop being animals in this way. 

When men and women respect commitments to significant others to stay sexually faithful to one woman, one man, their significant other, men and women will see what real power looks like and the family life will begin to heal for every family in the world.  Women and men that focus on their intellectual acuities and not female, male form, are the real thinkers and movers for positive and lasting change to benefit all.

When the women marched for the right to vote and religious freedom for all, these women were not aware that there would be religions and men that would come here with religious laws that put women in such subjective roles. If these women saw this coming they would want reform for immigrants coming here NOT to have child brides, multiple wives, and women expected to remain second in command to their husbands.  The Native American Indians of past generations watched and could not believe the disrespect white males had for their women. 

Reform is coming, the women are speaking out in America now and it is an exciting time to be alive.

What 10 Smells Remind You of Your Grandmother?

1)  Roses, she loved roses, rose water for parfume and had a rose garden outside her kitchen window

2)  Vegetable's green odor, popped those pods open and out fell the peas, snapped green beans

3)  Dove soap always in the bathroom dish

4)  Pound cake

5)  Chocolate simmering on the stove, she made real chocolate frosting for her cake

6)  Pecan pie cooling on the windowsill

7)  Pot of corn simmering on the stove, she always cut the kernels off the cob

8)  Sweet potatoes baking in the oven on a brown paper bag

9)  Fresh peaches being peeled, just picked from her trees

10)  Delicious buttermilk biscuits baking

Yes, she was a fabulous country chef. Everything she made was mouth watering good. Her kind smile and gentle nature made every visit there comforting and calm.  She once told me the way to get children to eat their vegetables is to add a little sugar to each dish. Grandma let me have as many dishes of chocolate ice milk as I could eat!  (I prefer ice milk to ice cream till this day.)

We have time now to perfect our homemade foods, now I know how Grandmothers' become such great cooks.  Lots more time after birds fly the nest.

Thankful to have had a Grandmother who came from a farm and knew how to cook great dishes from the garden.  Love you still Lynnie Newell Kelly! Yes, I am a great southern cook too, Sweetheart and I both like to cook, the tradition lives on. She made sweet tea and lots of it, I serve water.  😉


   

Scarlet Tanager

When you wish upon a star...

Sweetheart has wanted to see a "Scarlet Tanager" since he was 8 years old. He saw one while looking through his mother's bird watcher's book.

His mother would sit by the window for hours doing crossword puzzles and bird watching.

A good son, my Sweetheart would help his mother fill up the bird feeders year round, even in the dead of a cold winter.

Today while walking laps with me in our driveway, he stopped suddenly and was smiling from ear to ear, "There, look, a Scarlet Tanager! I have wanted to see one of those my entire life, there it is!
The "Scarlet Tanager" is much brighter and redder than a cardinal."

He took a picture with his phone and we stood for a few minutes watching.

The universe answers another simple wish.

Thankful to be with my Sweetheart to share this much awaited, unexpected, and happy moment. Life is good on the Hudson River.

You Know I Can Learn Something from Everyone I Meet

When I was younger and heard this I would say, "No I can't, I don't even approve of everyone, much less like them!  They have nothing to teach me!"

Then I became older and I said, "Yes, I can learn something from everyone..I can learn what NOT to be like!"

Then I had children and life knocked me down a few times and I had to pull myself up again and go on, and I said,"Yes, if I look closely I can learn there is good in every person and everyone knows at least one good thing to teach me if we talk long enough. I cannot possibly know it all or be the only good person in the world with the right answers!"

Now children grown, and moved away, some dreams came true, some did not yet, the main dream, to truly love one man, him to truly love and respect me, and have a fun, loving family, came true.

Now I mind my own business and let others be free to be who they are without my two cents.

I know now, that all people really are good.  Differing opinions does not change that. Thankful to know this now, I just need to remind myself this when I come upon those that don't, yet.

New Mothers Know This...Us Veteran Mothers Have Your Back

When veteran Mothers see new mothers doing their job it makes us smile.  Standing in line to get groceries at a self check out yesterday, a young mother was behind me with three kids, ages I guess, 10, 6, and 4.  As she had each child put their plastic ball or toy on the scanner she asked questions such as, "If your ball is $3 and you have three balls, how much will it costs for all three?"

"Now take turns, slow down," she admonished the next child as he pushed his toy through the scanner without waiting on Mother to give permission for his turn, "Back up" she said, "Now look at the price, how much is four times this price?"

As each child answered correctly she said, "Good, good. You are correct." Immediately I remembered doing this with our three children. Teaching them to read labels, teaching them about how much things costs and how much money will we have left after buying these items, teaches children how to think and figure things out for themselves. I love mothers who take the time to teach not just rush to the next thing to do.

Then I went to the dollar store to find they did not have what I was looking for and saw a mother exiting with her two young children.  They each had a little toy in their hands and I smiled. I remembered the chore list I made our children and when each had finished the chores I gave then a star on the poster board and trip to the dollar store at the end of the week for each to pick out one toy as a reward for a job well done.  This young mother told her kids to wait and hold the door for this lady, (me the older lady) and I told her, "Go ahead of me dear, my children are grown and out of college, if I have anything now it is patience, and you have your arms full with two kids in tow, let me get the door for you all."  I held the door for them as she said, "Thank you, thank you."

Young mothers know this, we vet Mothers have been there, we know the work involved every minute of every day, and we have your back.  Believe me I have no problem speaking up to anyone that criticizes a young mother in public, for...anything including the time she takes to get through a line with kids constantly chattering, or the time she takes with a car door open trying to get each child buckled in, or dealing with a screaming child that will not obey a simple request to move along, by the mother.  I had a voice when I was young and I have a voice for other mothers now.

If you have never raised a child with 'hands on" daily teaching, you do not know what it involves but I will say if you do it right, it takes work.  I am not talking about handing the work off to a daycare worker, babysitter, or au par nanny, or boarding school, to be a stay-at -home Mother, takes more love than you think you can give, more patience than you knew you could have, and more confidence to settle arguments with children and knowing when to teach them it is time to "agree to disagree," and compromise, constantly giving up your strict rules to make peace among the kids.

And on those rare occasion when the disagreements will not be appeased, you put your foot down with your decision, to move on, past disagreements, to a better day. You let children know you are in charge and it makes them feel safe and happy. In time the children thank you for all of this, even if they did not get their way every time. You, the parent has to be in charge of a peaceful home, if you can't decide what needs to be done, then ask your husband, he has great ideas to end the disagreements.  If he is a good father he has logical and reasonable solutions. I saw our boys really understood him. Women do not have all the answers for raising children and diffusing disagreements but you have to ask the men for them to help.

But it takes work, for the Mother and the Dad.  This veteran Mother advises young ones, "Take advice from their father, ask him for advice, men know more than women give them credit for.

Thankful for good mothers who see the value in good fathers, this tends to make good adult children.

A Can-Am Spyder and A BMW Bike

What is it about a ride in the mountains and countryside that makes me get so excited when I see a couple on a motorcycle and trike?  These motorized rides make me think of absolute freedom.  Maybe it is because I'm old enough to remember Peter Fonda in "Easy Rider." The latter part of the sixties and early 70s where my three brothers and boyfriend had motorcycles. My boyfriend and I rode hundreds of miles through the country in NC on our dates.  What freedom and joy to be riding with the sun on your back and the wind in your face going nowhere in particular just having fun being young and free. 

Yesterday was such a beautiful day that I drove up into the mountains around Shawangunk Ridgeway and stopped at a lookout to enjoy the farms, houses, ponds, plowed fields, faraway roads with tiny cars, and most of all the mountain ridge.  I sat there gazing, happy, breathing in the silence and crisp air with such thankfulness to be alive and just be present. The world is so beautiful and the stillness of it's beauty amazes me always.

At a nearby coffee shop I stopped in ot get a latte and there parked were two motorcycles, BMW cycle and a Can-AM trike with a couple strapping on their helmets to ride, I had to see the bikes up closer and meet the couple.  It was Joe and Lynn, married 33 years with two grown kids that were traveling down to Florida on their two week vacation.  They rode up to Nova Scotia together last vacation and this year heading to Florida.  Joe actually waited until the kids were grown to get his motorcycle, a request made by many wives I have known over the years, however Lynn was on a "mercedes benz" of a trike! Now that is not something I see wives get and actually ride alongside her husband in travel.

Joe was a handsome man with A Connecticut accent and was so charismatic and Lynn was a beautiful woman with streaks of purple in her white hair, what fun they two of them must be as parents.  I asked if they planned to retire and bike a round for the rest of their lives and Joe said, "That's my plan, I don't know what she is going to do."

Another couple that understands they have two separate minds and can choose.  I have a notion they will be happily married a long time and I can't know for sure, but if I look into my crystal ball I think Lynn will be riding with Joe into the sunset of their lives. Really great people, I meet great people everyday in my travels.

Thank you Joe and Lynn for letting me see your motorcycles up close and sharing a little time and conversation with me.  You two are wonderful people. Love that Can-Am Spyder, Lynn, I want one.

Empowering All Women

In this age of empowering all women as many successful women claim, there is a very evident division.  If a woman does not fully agree with the belief system of another woman, that woman is deemed to be OUT.

I have recently decided if I am following anyone on any media and they ask me to comment, to give feedback, I will not bother.  I see that if you applaud and agree, you get a minimal thumbs up. No actual words to engage in a mutual conversation.

But..

If  you offer an alternative thought for discussion from the narrative that was promoted you get blocked, dropped, no engagement, no thumbs up, no discussion.  Three different women now. I have followed for years and never gave any real feedback, just a thank you, thumbs up.  They ask again and again for comments so recently I gave my feedback. This feedback was a thoughtful response, not just an applause, or another comment of "I needed that today, thank you..." I was not given a thumbs up or any feedback from these "leaders." Now I have three women that I no longer see their posts on my timeline.  This is embracing all women in sisterhood?

Now when it comes to empowering all women as they claim to want to do, I see it is only possible if you agree with their stance.  All other perspectives are not tolerated!

The song that a famous artist sings has  a line in it, "Who runs the world? Girls!"

With these "adult girl" attitudes that will not likely happen anytime soon.  This kind of monarchy of thought does not make the world peaceful or promote unity.  Agree to disagree is a fundamental need to include others in any narrative and achieve peaceful existence with others.  We are not disagreeing over violence, just a different perspective on dealing with life situations.

Thankful to have a backyard in the woods, tea to sip, turkeys, deer, birds, fox, and bears to enjoy. Sometimes you gotta step away and just be present.  Nothing to defend, I can be quiet, too, so I write.

The Black Sheep of The Family

Every family has one. You know the one that follows a different path of thinking and living.  The one that no one can relate to, the one that follows the distant beat of a faraway drum.  That person is not angry, mean, or criminal, just different.  Angry, confused, people do harm to themselves or others, this is NOT the black sheep. The black sheep is different in a good way.

The black sheep does not want to do things the way it has always been done, does not want tradition, does not behave the way expected, has plenty of new ideas and wants to implement these ideas. The black sheep does not need to be understood, the black sheep just needs to be accepted, supported, and loved. All will turn out alright in time.

Frightening when you give birth to one of these. I was called the black sheep in my family. My husband was the black sheep in his family. We gave birth to three black sheep children as different as any siblings could be, so we support, accept, and love each knowing in time all will be well.

Thankful to know how to treat black sheep from our own experience. I love black sheep.

My Dangerous Enlightened Ego

This has occurred to me as I began studying ego and the dissolution of my own.  There is much freedom in knowing the power of just being present without identity.  I can become so peaceful and joyful in everyday life that when I am faced with another who is angry, complaining, controlling, trying to exert their control anywhere near me, I tend to say,"Wow, they have a long way to go to find the peace available to them."  I get so thankful I am not that blinded anymore. I was "totally" blind before, don't get me wrong. But my own severe mental pain made me find a light out of my bottomless pit of dark tunnel vision and despair. I don't want to complain and be a victim anymore.

Thankful to see this but I am careful to keep my ego, out of it.  To see myself as enlightened is to be superior to others and this is something I do not like, anyone thinking they are above or below another.  A constant practice this "awareness," keeps my life beautiful everywhere I look.

 

Don't Set up the Target and You Won't Get Hit

To stay out of an argument with an enraged person is best.  A debate, not heated, is valuable to learn from one another and can be very enlightened for each if we listen.  You can see an example of these  by listening to congressional hearings.  The congressperson who listens with an ear to understand will not attack the other with a lists of why they are right and the other is wrong.  When you hear a congress person ask questions to see more clearly what the other is seeking and what remedy is sought, you begin to see the grounds for unity.

There is a difference between hearing and listening. Everyone has the right to be heard, and in congress they evidently have made it okay to disrespect one another when they disagree.  This is another reason we need new elected officials.  We need people who respect differing opinions and talk without pointing fingers.  As soon as you throw back fighting words, you are a target for more arrows. Angry people don't resolve conflicts, they start wars.

In everyday life we meet difficult people who have to control everything, it has to be their way. Their way is self serving and benefits one, the difficult one.  The only way around this difficult, self centered one, is to NOT engage in the fight. You cannot be a target if you are not involved physically, verbally, or emotionally. The arrows of anger may fly but these will not hit you.

Thankful to learn to keep my safe space by not interacting with people who live in hurt and anger the majority of their life. There are actually people who move past this and live very successful peaceful lives.  I want to know more of these and less of the others.  Life is too short to not be surrounded by peace most of your life.  This is probably why I prefer animals and nature to people. In nature "Loving what is" because there is no other choice but to accept.

Why Conflict Starts and How to End It

"Conflict always comes down to defending a shaky sense of self" according to ZEN teacher Norman Fischer. Norman did not write the book, he is just reiterating what was discovered centuries ago.  That's all any of us who claim to have wisdom have discovered.  We are NOT the originators of these "NEW FOUND" truths.  The understanding of life has been the goal of humans since the beginning of human life. At some point we ask, "What is life?" and "Why am I here?"

Some of us choose to find the answers and try to practice these because so far our way is not bringing the peace and prosperity we desire.  Once we figure this out we don't have these answers because we are not living the peace and prosperity we desire we need new information.  We study to bring our peace into focus.  Once inner peace is approaching, the conflict with others not on the same inner path, begins.

Back to conflict. As long as there is an "I" and you are an "I" there is a division. Difficult people are hurt all the time.  If you accommodate, they take advantage of you, if you resist it fuels their attack, the biggest trap is to think you can do something, say the right thing, to change them.  You cannot.

Hurt of anyone has to be dealt with inside that person alone.  So the only option we have is to understand their confusion and love them anyway.  This does not mean you have to have them in your life, nor does it mean you have to remove them from your life, it means one of you has to stop fighting, stop resisting. You do not have to grin and bear it, you really are free of it. This takes practice. This is a practice I study daily to keep my chaotic mind in check. It is not always easy, but it is getting easier. I do not always win my peace of mind but I am aware and getting closer every day. The danger of my confused thoughts is the only cause of my fear and pain.

"It takes two to fight, one to stop and walk away. Always walk away from words, only fight to protect the innocent." ~ LMS

The challenge became mine, when I decided to find inner peace. It is easy to be silent in times of conflict because you fear the difficult one. It is easy to get angry and loud. But to be silent and walk away because you love them and know they alone will need to find their own peace.  In your mind peace, the only battlefield you can control in life. This is the life I want. To do this I have to drop the illusion of "I."

Thankful to know this and have found teachers to explain it in a way I can apply to my life now. Yes this resonates with my soul. You decide what is best for you, you know best.

When is Enough, Enough?

Over the years many teachers charge for their courses, it is business, I understand.  But at what point do you have enough money to stop charging when you are teaching the same thing over and over?

To be totally ZEN you would teach like Jesus taught and never charge a cent.  You would walk through this world and let nature take its course.  Some days you would eat and other days you may not.  To live like this it would be much easier not to have a family. All enlightened men and women do not teach of money to achieve inner peace. They teach of believing the universe has your back. The universe in its purest form has no money. This monetary exchange is manmade.

Mother Theresa wanted to help the poor of the world, she needed money in her lifestyle. The Catholic nun knew the Catholic Church was not going to give her the money to do this. History has proved the Vatican is not going to close down that palatial palace for the Pope and his Cardinals to fund the poor she lived among and helped every day of her life. 

So she got smart about money.  One way she made much needed money was to write books. She made over $300 million in her book sales to fund her cause. Her cause to bring food, water, medicine to the poor was an ongoing need, Jesus taught the poor will be with us always.

How much money do you need to fund your lifestyle?  Once you know the lifestyle you want, then the universe will help you afford it. The more you want, the more you will work for it, otherwise you will settle.  You will sit down and say, "This is good enough. Why should I want more? I don't want to do more work."

Today in my blog I'm just putting it out there for us to think about?  What did you want most of all from life?  Do you have it?  Once basic needs are met, how much more do you need?  What will you do with your life once you get that?  When is enough enough for you? Is it okay to want more?

The time and work involved to have more... are you and I willing to give that to have more?

Thankful for all I have now, and intrigued to see where the next decade takes me. 

Animalistic Freedom

Going on a walk today I met a young man riding his skateboard along with his small dog.  The dog was white with a black circle around its left eye, like the dog in Little Rascals.

The dog was running ahead of the man and he was letting the dog go all over the sidewalk as he skated behind, they were having a good time. Happy dog, happy man.  I commented to him with a smile, that the dog looked as if it was taking 'him' on the walk and he replied, "Yes, animalistic freedom instead of me controlling him, makes us both happy."

This walk will work if you have the time.

Thankful for another beautiful day to walk and meet other smiling faces along the way.

Morality and Civilization Is Up to Women

As time goes by and we watch the world, we all eventually realize the differences between men and women.  Men love their rules and crazy dreams to the point of war and this is called politics.  Women bring education and a faith in something good to the humans we raise, it's called home and family.

We need both in moderate amounts to bring peace to this planet and according to the numbers, life on planet earth is getting better.  Steven Pinker wrote a book titled, Enlightenment Now.  He warns against listening to any news channel about the things they want us to worry about each day when in fact if you see real numbers, the  world is less violent than 30 years ago. Technology helps with making life less stressful as long as we can turn it off.

Thankful to see positive concrete numbers supporting what we all know to be true. Life is getting better everyday.

Ayahuasca and DMT

It seems the ayahuasca tea served at the Shaman Peru cleanses is a psychedelic drug from plants in South America.  Too much DMT and you see psychedelic images, too little as in depression and you see black and gray images.  Our body produces this in the center of our physical brain in the pineal gland.  Some say this is the "spiritual" molecule that meshes the natural world or physical world with the spiritual world.  When we are too far off the center evidently that is when problems make us seek medicinal or addictive remedies.

The scientist believe when this molecule can be controlled it may be the answer to alcoholic and drug addictions.  So that is what the people are experiencing down in Peru. A rebirth of getting in touch with nature and self through a plant induced euphoria.  My question is how did the natives in a third world country come to know this plant when made into a tea creates this phenomenon?

Will wonders never cease?  Nature and man always find a way to connect.  The fact that this happens is further proof to me that the universe has our back. After all people are getting healing through this. One scientist that studies DMT and the effect on the brain does not believe in God however after her Ayahuasca tea trip believe the energy of being must go on to another level, she is just not sure where. She now admits she is a "spiritual" person.

Thankful that science is catching up with spirituality in reality.  I believe the two are inseparable, always have but cannot prove it. Others much more educated in the field are beginning to do just that, proving it.

Here is a DMT molecule...

Shaman in Peru

There is a solution that some Americans are finding by visiting a Shaman in Peru.  The first time I heard of it a friend of our daughter's had gone for a month and found through the plant based cleansing she felt renewed, awake like no other time before.

Then I heard of a life coach who is excellent teaching how to overcome the damage of a narcissist in your life, went down there with her brother for 6 weeks.  She and her brother cleansed with these powerful plant based solutions and baths.  They saw hallucinations and received answers from beyond this dimension.

Tonight I saw a Netflix documentary "The Last Shaman."  This young man was severely depressed and he went to Peru for the same kind of ritual healing.  They all received a healing, a rebirth, a new beginning, a new way to look at their life that lightened their spirit and gave hope.

There must be something to this for it is working for them.  A reconnection with nature seems to make them reconnect with feeling in their body.  For many years I have been reconnecting with feelings in my body.  It may be that I disconnected at a young age to survive emotional trauma I experienced growing up in a home that did not give the emotional support I needed as a foundation for living a peaceful life.

In every story I have listened to it involves an extra sensitive child that grew up in a household that focused on success in academics, money, prestige, position, and beauty.  The individual that was not interested in these things was pushed and ultimately became angry for not being listened to.  Each left the family in search of peace to find the only peace we can truly have which is inner peace.

What these dedicated men and women put themselves through to see this, was hard. I guess for them it is a crash course in the University of Life.  I prefer taking life one day at time and learning as I go, which is what I have done.  Would I have gone to Peru for this spiritual cleansing? Maybe, but my life's path did not take me there. What I do know is we all get to the top of the mountain in our own way and time. This is all that matters.

Thankful for inner peace which I cultivate every day.

Laugh Out Loud Fun Evening

I highly recommend seeing comedians that don't use foul language, tell sexual jokes, or focus on politics for a fun time out. There are quite a few but Gary is definitely one of these. Ryan Hamilton is  a newcomer to mainstream America, kind of like Jerry Seinfeld, and Jay Leno. We went to see Gary Gulman at The Comedy Works in Saratoga, NY and it was one rip roaring hearty fun evening.

He was tweaking his new comedy special for HBO and he did a 75 minute bit.  It was wonderful. He is so charming and engaging, a true talent. Funny? Hands down makes fun of himself, his funny thoughts, (we all share at times) and life in the 70s.

Thankful to have a date night out with two great guys, my Sweetheart and Gary Gulman.