If I had to say what attracted us to one another, first, looks, ok, but to the altar? No way. My heart goes much, much, deeper than lust, looks, or money, as a matter of fact I would say it has to go deeper than that for any marriage/relationship, to last a lifetime and "be happy."
We both wanted a different life than our parents had shown us. We both wanted to be truly loved and in love with the other for our entire life. We both had a tenacity to hold on and make it work because of this commitment to love the other a lifetime.
We both had the same level of courage, determination, motivation, and lack of direction. We both were wild and free spirited yet basically good, kind people. We both came from depression survivor grandparents that passed own the same poverty fears and frugality to each of us through our parents.
We both have some blatantly broken spirited relatives in our families and we did not want to fall into their addictions, we saw enough. We both wanted to raise children to "THINK for themselves" and have confidence knowing they are ENOUGH. We wanted children that loved one another and accepted others' differences. We wanted siblings that would be there for each other their entire life and be close, after we are gone.
We 'wanted' to be together, NOT 'needed' to be together because we were desperate, lonely, or had no other choices. We both broke traditional expectations of what a husband and wife "should be and do." We changed the marriage vows, took out the word,"obey." We both believed in the other even when we fail down, we helped the other get up again. We tied a knot and held on through the storms. There have been many. We are both stubborn. (My father had a big influence to help me stay married early on, thank you Dad.)
We stayed together, not because of a piece of paper called, "a marriage license." I stayed because of our three children, I wanted them to have their bio mother and father living together happily with them. I wanted them to see their parents work through problems and compromise to be a peaceful and happy family.
I stayed because even though I never wanted to be married or have children in the first place, I changed my mind and now made a decision that included other lives. I needed to consider them now not just me. My husband stayed because he was enamored with me. (His words) He never met another woman he wanted to be with forever. "My God it has been a "Toad's Wild Ride" for both of us.
We got married because we saw greatness in the other and wanted to go through life free to be us, having fun with the other. It has been fun and will continue to be.
We wanted a house in the country. We have one. We wanted three children, we have three. We wanted one person, to be our best friend for life, we have each other. Now we enjoy being present. Me, working, writing, sipping Kombucha, in the backyard, sitting by a campfire out back, enjoying deer, fox, groundhogs, turkeys, bear, cats, and peace. He working his own business, happy, sitting with me sometimes in the backyard or by a campfire, laughing and remembering the life behind, making plans for the life ahead and peace.
Whatever you don't get from your bio family, you seek in the world if you are not too afraid to go out into the world and find it. Break tradition, go your own way and don't settle. We both got what we wanted, now for the next adventure.
Thankful again today because I know my life has been much, much, easier because I married this man. He has made a positive impact on me that I will forever be grateful for. I love you Senior and the wonderful children we made. We have a good life, we made it so.
A great life begins with me. Finding inner peace gives clarity of action in outer conflicts. If peace is to be, it must begin with me. I know this now. Thankful to have a good, kind, man by my side and inner peace most of the time. 😌
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