Why Conflict Starts and How to End It

"Conflict always comes down to defending a shaky sense of self" according to ZEN teacher Norman Fischer. Norman did not write the book, he is just reiterating what was discovered centuries ago.  That's all any of us who claim to have wisdom have discovered.  We are NOT the originators of these "NEW FOUND" truths.  The understanding of life has been the goal of humans since the beginning of human life. At some point we ask, "What is life?" and "Why am I here?"

Some of us choose to find the answers and try to practice these because so far our way is not bringing the peace and prosperity we desire.  Once we figure this out we don't have these answers because we are not living the peace and prosperity we desire we need new information.  We study to bring our peace into focus.  Once inner peace is approaching, the conflict with others not on the same inner path, begins.

Back to conflict. As long as there is an "I" and you are an "I" there is a division. Difficult people are hurt all the time.  If you accommodate, they take advantage of you, if you resist it fuels their attack, the biggest trap is to think you can do something, say the right thing, to change them.  You cannot.

Hurt of anyone has to be dealt with inside that person alone.  So the only option we have is to understand their confusion and love them anyway.  This does not mean you have to have them in your life, nor does it mean you have to remove them from your life, it means one of you has to stop fighting, stop resisting. You do not have to grin and bear it, you really are free of it. This takes practice. This is a practice I study daily to keep my chaotic mind in check. It is not always easy, but it is getting easier. I do not always win my peace of mind but I am aware and getting closer every day. The danger of my confused thoughts is the only cause of my fear and pain.

"It takes two to fight, one to stop and walk away. Always walk away from words, only fight to protect the innocent." ~ LMS

The challenge became mine, when I decided to find inner peace. It is easy to be silent in times of conflict because you fear the difficult one. It is easy to get angry and loud. But to be silent and walk away because you love them and know they alone will need to find their own peace.  In your mind peace, the only battlefield you can control in life. This is the life I want. To do this I have to drop the illusion of "I."

Thankful to know this and have found teachers to explain it in a way I can apply to my life now. Yes this resonates with my soul. You decide what is best for you, you know best.