My father once called me "determined" when I took him to see his wife, my mother. He was a in a VA nursing home and mother was in respite care at a home nearby, after double knee surgeries. I came down from NY to visit Mom and take Dad to see her. Dad was unable to walk, now wheelchair bound, I pushed him to my car, drove him to see mother a few miles away. When I parked the car I tried to get him out of the car, back in his wheelchair and he slipped from my grasp. I quickly got my body between him and the cold ground so he would land on me and not get hurt. I stopped his fall but I could not raise him up again, he was too heavy. He weighed so much I had to lie him down. I put a coat under his head and would need to go for help. As I lay Dad on the ground, he looked at me and said,"One thing I'll say for you, you are determined!" That was the first time I recall being called "determined."
I was determined. Determined to make my life, my marriage, my children's lives better than the house I came from and together with my dear husband, we did. Now the children are grown and doing well, out of the house, it is "us two" again. My character and intent is to be kind to anyone I meet and to help if I can, remembering to set boundaries. I practice mediation and training my speech to be kind, I have more work to do in this area, so I study. I continue to write not knowing where or when the inspiration will lead, and in time I know the books will come into focus and flow out of me. My Sweetheart has called me "determined" many times.
A writer's life is not easy. To put down on paper the right word at the correct line takes thought. No "perfect" life circumstances makes one write. You write under any circumstance until you are finished. I particularly read and seek the story of accomplished writers to see the adversity that they overcame to write. This encourages me.
Louisa May Alcott's story is one fraught with financial adversities. Her father was more interested in "thinking" than supporting the financial needs of his all female family. He had talent but his radical ideas did not keep him employed. The women would have to work to keep a roof over their heads, and let's not forget Louisa's mother had an inheritance she had to tap into twice to secure a house for the family.
Amos Bronson Alcott was a philosopher that supported abolition of slavery, and women's right to vote. Bronson Alcott was ahead of his time. His writings and speeches gave action to his ideals but he suffered a lot for his radical views, unemployment was one of his punishments. It may be that his teachings of female equality created the determined women in his household to be able to work and find ways to support the family without his help. His female children were workers. Louisa thought being a wife excluded women from the autonomy of your own dreams and endeavor. So she chose "not to marry or have children." It certainly can put your life on hold, and it should if you choose to have children and raise them.
Can you imagine what it was like to grow up in a house that had dreams and goals outside of yourself? Imagine learning from your father's contemporaries, Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, having these progressive thinkers at dinner to inspire and converse about your own aspirations? To be a child like Louisa and her sisters performing plays for them after dinner? Life could have promise for a dreamer in that home.
Thank goodness for public education that taught me to read. It has been my ability to read that has allowed me to dream, to dare to think I might write and be of some service to others from my own life experiences. I know now, all life is precious and has purpose. Thank goodness for other wirters, producers, researchers, actors, that produce PBS documentaries. The one on Louisa Alcott is insightful and inspiring. Women need more exposure of their accomplishments. Thank you, Riesen, Porter and Marvel, you know who you are.
Yes I am a determined woman.
Life is short.
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