Washcloths that Expand

Years ago I found these fun washcloths in the Disney store and bought one for each of our children in a favorite character from a movie we liked for their Easter basket. Last week I was in a store and saw a bin full of miscellaneous cloths and thought of my little guy friend from Jordan. I thought I bet he has never seen one of these. As I searched through and found Iron Man I saw Ariel from The Little Mermaid which was my daughter's favorite Disney movie when she was 5 years old. So just for fun I got that one to put in a new beautiful mug I bought her in VT last week.

Both recipients loved the washcloths and our daughter gave hers to her husband, (Prince Eric, he has black hair and ice blue eyes) to drop in water and watch it expand because he had never seen one before. My husband then told me that when he was little, his Grandmother used to buy these to take on vacation when she went on cruises. She would give a couple to him and his brother and they loved dropping each in water and as any child would be, was amazed at watching it expand into a full size washcloth. 

In the days of old the washcloths his Grandmother bought were plain colors, blue and yellow. Disney as always came up with the brilliant advertising idea to sell these with Disney characters on each knowing a child would delight in watching their washcloth expand with colorful characters and then using it to bathe.  Disney has the best ideas!

Thankful for Disney and all its wonderful childlike places to visit with magical toys for the young, keeping our childhood alive for a little bit longer. We all need to keep that child alive for a lifetime. Life is more fun this way.

Sometimes Cats

We have cats. When I'm sitting doing work of any kind, typing, sewing, drawing, painting, preparing food, building, cats jump into the middle of my work. Sometimes I smile and pet him, sometimes I push him to the side, sometimes it makes me a bit miffed, sometimes annoyed, sometimes happy, sometimes love the distraction, sometimes reminds me to slow down, sometimes to drop the anger, sometimes to relax, sometimes joy to feel the softness, sometimes fun to play, sometimes...

Thankful to have had cats in my life to help me along the way in good times and in bad, I love cats!

Body Eclipse and Peeper

In 1978 a honeymoon was not on the list of things to do after our marriage. We stopped in Niagara Falls for a couple of days on our ride back from Ohio to New York. We were married on a farm in a meadow that was formerly a corn field now turned into a meadow for events for a ministry we were members of at the time. As it was, we were doing volunteer work at the "Rock Of Ages" and planned to be married on the only day we had off from working. Our lives were not rotating around a wedding day like most couples.

Niagara Falls was memorable but it was a short vacation and on to New York. I am somewhat surprised to get married, it was not my plan for my life, so a big wedding and all the surrounding things a normal bride would do was not my style anyway. A big celebration like a honeymoon was not important to my new husband either it seemed.

Thirty years later my Sweetheart arrives home with two airplane tickets to a resort in Puerto Rico for two weeks to celebrate our thirtieth!  What?

We went to Boston to get passports in an afternoon and were off the next day to Puerto Rico.  The room in PR was one of the most luxurious suites we had stayed in.  The first 24 hours Sweetheart was so tired he slept. So in the morning I got up, took a shower and went out to breakfast without him.

And that was the morning I smelled heaven!  In the spa like bathroom there was a shower gel, "Body Eclipse" that smelled so fresh, so clean, I loved it! Not just a little I loved it, a lot of I love it! What a great way to start your day! I got dressed and slipped out without waking him.

I spent the morning exploring the resort and the beaches and returned to the room to find him still sleeping! The darling, he works so hard all the time for our family.  I grabbed a book and quietly so as not to wake him went out on the private terrace to enjoy the bright, warm, sunshine, relax and read until he awakened. It was a great way to start the "Honeymoon."

Later he got up said "Good morning Love" and after brief conversation about how I spent my morning went to take a shower. He comes out, saying, "Wow did you smell that shower gel? It is the best smelling fragrance I have ever smelled! Love it!"

So tonight as we are walking the driveway together in the cool crisp evening air we hear the first single "Peeper" of the year. We listen ever so closely and go to the area where the peep was and smile both of us so happy to hear spring and its dear critters on its way.  Not sure if it is a frog or insect, sounds more like an insect. Made us happy anyway.

We talked about our thirtieth anniversary celebration in Puerto Rico and how much we loved the hermit crabs on the beach and swimming in the resort pool with a big Iguana. Brown lizards were everywhere, on every wall and walkway. We were careful not to step on any of them.

So back in the house after our walk in our driveway, Sweetheart has a box on the table that came for me while I was napping earlier. I open it and Voila!  Body Eclipse! The shower gel we loved at Puerto Rico! I had searched and found it online last week, ordered a gallon for us to have for out fortieth anniversary year. Sweetheart was so happy!

Happy Anniversary early Sweetheart, thank you for marrying me and giving me three wonderful children.  Thank you for being my best friend. I love you again today.

Gone Are the Days But We Are Still Here

Gone are the days Sweetheart and I were teenagers and he was in the Albany Academy being military disciplined while I, four years younger was smoking pot and hanging out with a crowd too old for me talking about going to Woodstock.

Sweetheart was so close here in Selkirk, had I been here I would have traveled back and forth to attend even if it was only for a day. As it was I was in NC and I knew it was a rock festival with hippies and although I was as rebellious and wore some of the clothing, I was not among the "hippie per se generation." I did get rid of my bra and my mother was horrified to see me in a tee shirt with no bra!  She was also upset I would not wear a girdle, Egads No! But what else is new?

In the next few teen years I was exploring natural herbs and remedies, drinking green juices, and lived in a commune for a summer with a group called, "Fellow Laborers."  Another story another day. So tonight my sophisticated self was preparing vegetables to make fresh juices in my Breville juicer and I popped in a "Woodstock 1969" documentary DVD. I still prefer natural remedies and no drugs.

Sweetheart and I watched , laughed at the people running and jumping in a slip and slide mud puddle while it rained. It looked like fun. We sang along with Joe Cocker and others while I danced around my nice clean dry kitchen with a bathroom nearby and a warm bed to crawl into. Cats hid, the music was too loud for them.

Yeah those were the days but I enjoy Woodstock more now watching from home.  It was so hot that summer in the Catskills, sweaty, dirty, no restrooms, not enough food and water that I would not have liked it. The people were awesome to brave the elements for the music. It was more than the music, people were gathered to protest the war in peaceful unity.

What I loved best about the concert was that it was organic. Meaning big advertisers had no idea it would be that big so there were not huge signs everywhere like, "Nokia, Nike, Verizon, etc.  The corporations would have been all over that stage like a National Baseball Stadium if only they knew.

Both of us have a friend that went to Woodstock for three days. Someday we plan to watch the DVD again and really look to see if we can find him/her for fun.  Yeah that's what we call fun now.

I said, "I can't believe you did not go?"

He said, "Not till a year later did I get into that scene."

"Are you saying I corrupted you?'  Wink, wink.

He said, "No, I was far gone before I  met you."

Truth be known we saved each other.

You know the music was nice and although people were smoking pot and doing acid, they looked out for one another and yes it rained and was unsanitary but there re was not any violence. The 80 arrest were for having  illegal drugs on them, LSD and heroin, the three deaths were purely accidental. Says something about our generation. More love and peace, less hatred.

Thankful  to have my Sweetheart from my generation so we can remember things together, we are one. Now we are going to see Eckhart Tolle and practice peace with the Stoics. Life moves on.

Who Knows A Disappointment Can Be The Beginning?

Speaking with a friend today we were talking about how we all make plans but who knows for sure if the plans will work out especially if a major move is involved. I immediately thought:

     "If you are invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet."~ Pema Chodron

When Pema said this, I laughed and laughed! This is the truth. In life I have learned you roll with the punches and know whatever happens you will land on your feet and keep moving.

Thankful to be here, after quite a few bumps in the road.

Raising Children is Like Launching a Rocket

In speaking with my Sweetheart about raising our children he likened it to NASA launching a rocket into space.  NASA does everything in its science to build a rocket that will go into space and return home safely but the reality is once that rocket is launched NASA has no control.

If things went well in building the rocket hopefully it will survive the massive heat from take off and disengage into the world for a clear ride. And hopefully it was built to weather any unforeseen obstacle it encounters in orbit. Finally when needed the rocket can land safely in water with expanded information to begin again.

I'd say. "Yes" this applies to the parents who "Love" as a verb, not a noun.

Thankful for our children. They are good, compassionate, and kind people in this world.

Love of money or Love of life, Which do you Choose?

Of course we have all moved on from the old fashion thought that "money is the root of all evil."  Now we correct ourselves to say "the love of money is the root of all evil."  The truth is we all need money to survive on this planet and we all need to find a compassionate way to earn it.

Now this is the truth of money earning, if you go after a position, a job, just to make money and more of it, you will make wrong decisions along the way. 

The beauty of being brought up in a home where we are taught to work with our hands and minds in service to others is to make decisions based on our love of life, our concern for our fellow human and the environment.  In this pursuit, love of life and compassion, we make fewer bad choices and mistakes.

Just look around and notice in life that people that serve others with an open heart, can rise up in health and wealth, No secrets, no gossip, no lies to cover up what they did, no covert operations of how they got money.  When you live a honest life there is no need to lie, steal, or cheat anyone. There is enough for everyone. 

Thankful to be among the ones who sleep well at night because I have a clear conscience.

Being Self-reliant Is The Best Way To Instill Confidence in One's Self

Staying home your entire life can be safe but it cannot instill the confidence you gain from getting out into the world and paying your own way. Not going from being a child at home to someone's father/mother wife/ husband, but going out into the world with no prior attachments or responsibilities to anyone except yourself and the world. To yourself first be true, then to the world to give of your talents to expand the universe and make the world a better place for everyone.

Finding income independent of parents' help, finding a place to live, buying a car, finding a way to have fun that brings you laughter without alcohol, drugs or any addiction, learning to be peaceful and at home with being alone makes one confident to live in the world.

Doing anything that brings you happiness and prosperity builds a solid foundation of self-love and is good for the world.  Once you know you can survive on your own and be happy, you can become friends with people like you and if you're open, you may find someone to share your life with that is as confident, independent, and fun as you.

That's where we begin, what we settle for is another story.

Don't settle.

Thankful I did not settle, life has not always been easy but my God it has been a wonderful adventure.

All Major Religions Teach the Same, As a Parent I hope I Did too

Compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and self-discipline, and a faith towards creator, God.  Buddhism teaches that we are a self-creator and therefore need to take control of our thoughts that lead to ultimate actions from motivation.  All roads lead to inner peace that creates world peace.

To control mind we need to have thorough knowledge about our mind. There are different types of minds with destructive thoughts of anger.  Some will soothe with alcohol, drugs, food, superior ego, and things. 5 senses pleasures take over body when the mind is out of control. These only increase these destructive emotions.

To know what increases the destructive emotion, we have to know the ultimate nature of mind.  The basis of the destructive emotion and if we learn this we can learn to quiet this mind, redirect this anger to peaceful thoughts and outcome.  We can become friend to self and all others.

Like the body needs water every day, the mind needs quiet time, meditation time.  Time to refresh the mind through pausing, breathe in and breathe out, become calm and make decisions from a kind place, a compassionate place, that resides deep inside us all. Because our mind thinks from sun up to sun down, we need a daily break to slow down, go within to find the creator of peace within for guidance.

If I had known this when I was a young mother I would have taken time to sit and teach out children to meditate every day, to slow down, to get quiet inside.  But that was then and today I think about the kind of mother I tried to be and the kind of person I endeavor to be now because it is the birthday of our firstborn.  Now it is up to our children to find their way to inner peace, and I pray they will.

We all do what we do until we know better then we hopefully do better. So happy the day he was born, truthfully I learned more about loving someone outside of myself by loving that little guy and his siblings, who are grown now. 

Thankful to have the children every day.

 

  

Foreigners Opinion of USA is Grim Amuses Me!

Studying "Narcissistic" characteristics I have stumbled across some therapist and authors who have written fascinating facts about this disorder.  The details are so succinct in how it manifest and the damage that can be done to others that live with  these "monsters" as some spouses call them, that is is a relatively new phenomenon.

Not until recently, very recently have the details of the origin of this negative personality been researched and revealed. And who better to research and reveal than a full-blown narcissist?

Without getting into what I have read and how revealing it is about people I grew up with and some people we all have had around  the workplace or home... I read comments after interviews with these authors and the harsh reality of these people, who are mostly spotted as "overt bullies."  

There are the non-malignant narcissist, "covert bullies,"  that bullnose their way into your life to try to get you to do everything around them as they want it done and the more noticeable bully that uses threats and violence to get their way.  Either way these "Narcissists" get others to rotate around them at their bid and call.

The comments made me smile. So many "Foreigners," meaning people who visit here in the USA or have never been here going on hearsay from the media have decided that the USA is full of narcissists citizens, toting guns with religious naivete mentality, that live in a country founded on genocide of Native Americans and slavery. In essence we Americans are nothing but leftover generational bullies.

Now the following is what these self proclaimed intellectual narcissists say about our presidents: Obama was a joke, to become president, with a background of doing nothing of note, a narcissist in every word, his narcissism resulted in economic mayhem for the country. Bill Clinton has the over sexed, self absorbed, self serving pleasure control narcissistic traits that do not make him a good public servant, always putting himself first before the country he serves. Hillary is the same, an emotionally unstable narcissist that lies, is self serving first before thinking of the public she serves, and has no real sense of what a good foreign policy looks like.

 And there is Trump, an egocentric narcissist that got voted in because Americans would rather own their own companies instead of learning to work together as a team in a workforce. The only thing all these politicians have in common is the foundation of creating a full fledged arrogant bully.  ("Narcissist") are created not born and are a result of an unstable home life from the beginning of life. Whether spoiled rotten or neglected, these opposite ends of the caring spectrum both create narcissism according to these experts.

I don't have the same opinion about this USA as these"intellectual narcissists" claim to think to know however I do know if you have not worn the shoes you cannot know how it fits for another. These narcissist have not lived here.  And if there is anything I have learned about this life it is this, you cannot possibly know what others think and what their motivation is for doing anything, you can only know from your perspective.  After all they have a grand sense of grandiosity, they know best they are "narcissists." 

They are experts on what a "Narcissist" does and how they try to control and hurt others.  So I say, "Stick to what you know guys, being a bully. As for creating drama, I believe you are experts on that too as your book claims."

As an American I allow that you are entitled to your political opinions, and we can agree to disagree in peace.  I would think by now you intellectuals would know not to trust everything you hear  and see in the media. That is naive of you, or is this the narcissist in me talking?

Thankful to be entertained by differing viewpoints, I love it.

Boxes and Labels I Love 'Em

Sweetheart has noticed over the years that I like to organize and label things for easy access.  Recently as I'm writing and getting organized I bought some beautiful boxes from Marshall's and I dutifully made nice labels and numbered each box.

Yes it is time consuming but it makes my thoughts clear about the contents of each box and what I plan to do with each. 

He said last night, "I think you are cute the way you get your boxes lined up and make labels and I was thinking.  You never minded people with labels, the label ADD never bothered you and I see you like boxes.  I'm beginning to see you like knowing about people, what makes them tick, putting a label on them and moving on much like these physical boxes."

"I don't know, that is an interesting observation. I guess I'll file that in my "To think about another day" box and keep writing."  😉

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid!

Watching, following, listening to speakers that seem to have a profound effect on the masses makes me wonder about things I never thought of before.  The main concern I have is how much people are influenced by a strong opinion confidently delivered as truth and act on it. Someone is trying to control you or help you. When the same results are not achieved you wonder why?  Maybe it is not for you. You need a different inspiration. One size does not fit all when it comes to personal transformation. No matter what the "leader" promises will absolutely happen, it may not for you.

Your mind may say, "Is something wrong with me?"
I say, " NO! A thousand times NO!"

One thing I have seen in this world is there are those who want your money and will do anything to get it.  To get your money, your attention has to be gotten first.  Once your attention is obtained, now through repetition you can be brainwashed that you need this or that, and if repetition does not touch your wallet, now you must be scared into buying it.

There are do gooders who really want to help and their way worked for them so it must work for you. If you do exactly as they did, you will get the same results.  But what if you don't get the same results? What if you don't want to be them, or do exactly as they did? What if you can't be exactly like them? Now what?

Turn off TV, turn off social media, turn off Youtube videos, walk in nature, sit in silence, get in tune with yourself, slow down, think for yourself. You will find you are enough and life is simple, joy is easily attained, kindness comes naturally, your purpose will reveal itself to you.

Ultimately you make the decision to do what you do, whether you were seduced into it or not. You are in control of your mind and actions.  Beware of who and what influences you. Don't drink the Kool-Aid because you like the taste of it, and someone said, "Do what I do." Investigate the formula to see if it is right for you, if you think not, don't do it. In time you will find your formula and you will know it because it works for you.

Thankful for inner peace. It is the one thing we all can have if we learn to sit in silence until we know.

There Are Families You are Better Off Without

This is unheard of! You don't do this! It is not done! If you don't love your family you have no one else!  You know just because you move away doesn't solve your problems, you take yourself with you wherever you go!  If you loved your family you would come see us every chance you get, especially at holidays!  If you don't call us more you are being disrespectful! How dare you not come to your (family member's) birthday party, funeral, wedding, etc. This is not Christian (insert your family's religion here) of you! How dare you!

Have any more you'd like to add?  If you are the one who decided to move away to find peace and not be criticized anymore, you have heard one of these reprimands.  When you hear these you know you are dealing with a narcissistic parent.  One who wants everyone to ask permission to get that parent's approval before making an independent move.  To respond to this person is a life sucking, joy breaking,  prison of a life, and the family members that do as commanded, are not free.

Are you the scapegoat of the family?  Every time something goes wrong, the narcissist will blame someone else, especially you, I didn't do that, you did! I did that because you made me do it! It's your fault! If you were more kind and less selfish this would not have happened! 

There is nothing you can do right.  Even when you achieve something great you are not acknowledged.  Why? Because that narcissistic parent cannot stand anyone to rise above them in merit or praise, you have to be knocked back down.

So you have to decide what you want out of life and what you are willing to give to get the life you want to live. Do you want to be totally free to live life on your own terms?  If this is your decision, you have to move away, far away, and do not contact your family on a regular basis.  When you do visit, tell them you are going through town and will stop in 10 minutes, watch the clock, ten minutes without responding to criticism is a wonderful victory, ten minutes up?  Get out of their house and move back to your happy life.

In time if you want, you can stop by 15 minutes, 30 minutes, in a few years you may be able to enjoy these narcissistic parent (s) and the enablers that chose to stay around her/him, extended family members for an hour!  That is an accomplishment!

You are in control. You decided to be happy and not be a part of their hateful self-talk vomited onto you.  The problem is theirs not yours.  You cannot change anyone but yourself, you set boundaries of what you will abide from anyone. People treat you with the same respect you show yourself.

We cannot change others, we can change our minds and set boundaries of respect. 

"Families are Everything" when they support differences of opinions and life choices of everyone in it.  When families do not respect you and your individuality, you are better of without them. Go make a family and life of kindness and compassion to all, especially yourself.

Thankful to have moved away and made a wonderful family with my Sweetheart. Life is a joy to live every moment for many years now. Namaste.

 

When Peaceful Voices Become Harmful

This world is so confused that the balance has tilted to illogical conclusions.

When male or female get so extremely angry over their own agenda, the positive changes the opinions might have provided to heal the situation becomes ineffective.

If we all could continue in the agenda without hatred for those who disagree the outcome would be  more likely to happen.

Extremist in every opinion, including less obvious ones, such as animal/child/environment protection always leads to violence and that is what we think we are trying to dissipate.

Every discussion is better when entered in with an open mind to listen and compromise.

Sages have taught this for thousands of years, there are many examples of how this works

One I heard recently was: we walk in the world and think our feet would better be protected if we had leather all over the world. The reality there is not enough leather to cover the world therefore it is more logical to put a pair of leather shoes on our own feet.

If world peace is to be, it begins with me, inside my mind. Yes we have to give everyone the right to disagree with me and still be respected without anger.

Thankful to see the freedom and kindness in this.

Yeah I Pinched Him and I Liked It

That's right. Fifty years after high school, I do a prank learned in high school, I pinch my husband if he does not have on green on St. Patrick's Day. And I trick him to do it.

This morning we got up to go see a fundraiser tournament for the "Wounded Warriors" at a nearby ski resort. We got up early, we got dressed, I grabbed a silk neck scarf for later, black with pecan colored flowers and tiny green leaves design, one of my favorites. 

Sweetheart and I wore a warm black ensemble and our OBOZ hiking boots. Ready for the mountain.

We stopped for gas and just before he got out he gave me a kiss and said,"Happy St. Patrick's Day."  I say, "Are you wearing green?"

He, "No."

So I pinched him and jumped out of the car to get to my backpack in the back seat and said:
"I'm going to get on my neck scarf before you can pinch me back. I have green in my scarf!"

Sweetheart grins and gets out to pump the gas. when he gets back inside the car I have on my "green" so he cannot pinch me. Big deal eh? I do this to him every year, you'd think he'd get a clue and have something green on so I would not pinch him.

Then he tells me he used to wear orange every St. Patrick's Day in rebellion against tradition. I said, "Wow, I bet that really caused a riot! You really made a statement!"

He laughed. Maybe he likes to get pinched by me...ever think of that?

Ishi of the Yahi Tribe

The last of the Yahi tribe lived for 40 years without detection in the mountains of California. He walked out into civilization in 1911 and became an instant attraction for anthropologists of Berkeley. The scientists wanted to protect him, the businessmen wanted to put him in a side show and charge for the public to see him "the last savage of the wild frontier." The scientists protected him from this and studied him instead. 

The most phenomenal thing about this Indian was even though he was the last of his tribe because the government had ordered the slaughter of his people, he did not show animosity or bitterness.  The United States government paid gold coin for every scalp of an Indian that was turned in proving another savage was dead.  Many white bounty hunters commissioned by the US government were eager, heartless, ruthless, and unfeeling as they killed a nation of indigenous people becoming rich in the process.

When Ishi was given a choice to move to an Indian reservation or back to the mountains he chose to stay with the scientist in the town of San Francisco. He loved to ride the trolley and noticed that white men were clever in their inventions in this new century but not wise. He taught Saxton Pope his doctor how to hunt with a bow and after Ishi died Pope became known as the founder of modern day bow hunting.

This Ishi lived in the present moment, one with the earth. Today we are still clever with technology development and science revealing more and more, and in time we will be wise, to care for the land and people more than things.

 

Must Be Working, My Subconscious Is Getting Zen

Normally I don't' dream when I sleep. I know everyone says everyone dreams they just don't remember. Ok, I don't remember. I used to have fabulous dreams of flying, these were my favorite but I have not flown in a while. 

Last night I had a dream of being in a subway with strangers. An emergency came up and I listened to everyone's suggestion of how to resolve the problem. I remember thinking in the dream, I don't have to be the leader, I don't have to organize the escape route, these are smart people they will figure it out and I will follow because that one guy has the same idea as me. Collectively we will survive.

It was nice to be sitting on the side line not feeling the need to have the answer for everyone else.

I think my studies are beginning to pay off in in my subconscious.  This is good news for me and everyone in my world. Less stressful too... thankful this is taking hold, I've only been studying this stuff for over 50 years...

The Dash Between the Dates

If death is certain and the time of death uncertain what is important? ~Pema Chodron

Humm that is deep Pema.

Thankful to pause and think about this...

Warning: Another Teacher Has ONE Remedy, Good Grief!

Listening to another author who I love and respect, I see the newest book is more awareness with one remedy, move away permanently from this person. I agree there are some people this decision is to be made but every spouse, significant other, partner, you are drawn to, get rid of?  No.  Maybe you and she/he should have waited till you were older to make a pair, maybe you should not have married because someone got pregnant out of wedlock, maybe you should not have married because you had achieved everything else, why not do the marriage thing? Maybe you should have learned to love, respect, live happy by yourself, and financially be able to support yourself before hooking up, and moving in with this woman or man. Maybe you needed parents or someone to teach you this in a nurturing home environment.  Maybe most of us did not have this, so now we begin again.

There is always more than one way to the top of every mountain, and when it comes to couples and especially couples with children, splitting up is not the first choice and definitely not healthy for these children.  Children will learn more from watching parents work things out to deal with a difficult situation than a good one, life has bumps, no getting around this. Unfortunately humans learn more from the hard times than the good. Children love their bio parents and want them to be together regardless of the relationship between mother and father.  This longing of the children is there for a reason. It is a wake up call for someone to stand up, speak up, and take the reins because this ship is definitely going off course.

Sometimes you lead in a relationship, sometimes you follow, it is a dance of life.

Thankful to have a father that taught me to lead, and a brother that had my back, when I was weak, it saved my marriage, it saved my life.

Now Go Deeper Who Is The Best Teacher?

You are, when it comes to learning about how to live life. Unfortunately we teach best what we learned the hard way.  We learn quicker when we teach ourself through daily practice.  You self- correct and this has a more meaningful impact if you see your own mistake and change.

No one likes anyone else to point out our own faults. No one can fix these but us. Is not it fantastic to know you can live and change at will? The right thing to do is always up to you alone. If you want things to change in your life, you have to seek new knowledge and do the changing. No one can do the work for you. No one needs to. You have a great mind and you have the power.

You are your best teacher. Thankful to know it is not my business to change you.

A True Teacher Never Gives Up on the Student

There have been times when I was teaching students art and they want to give up on a piece.  They see it did not turn out as they planned, or it was too hard to do, so they thought, but in art I shine.  There is an idea for every mistake that is made to turn the mistake into a masterpiece.

How do I do this? I have good critical thinking skills for fixing a physical problem.

The best example I can give is one I experienced five minutes ago.  The water cooler in our home needed to be changed.  There is a plastic tab on the top, I could not pull it off.  So I immediately went to the tool drawer and pulled out pliers grabbed the tab and easily pulled the tab off, flipped the container and voila. But I learned what pliers could do over years of using then occasionally.

In art when I made a mistake when I was young it was me and the paper.  I had no tools of knowledge or experience to repair any of the mistakes.  I would erase and erase and start over until one day I realized it was a waste of time.  I had a brother that was great at proportions of the human body.  I had created a Madonna and child on paper with chalk pastels, it was perfect to me except for the hands.  As I was beginning to become upset because the deadline to submit this to the country fair was closing in, my brother offered to sketch the hands.  He did, now it was perfect. I watched and learned.  I won first prize in my age group at the fair that year.

Someone who had the ability that at that moment I did not have offered to help me.  Now it does not matter that he had the ability naturally or that he learned it from someone else, what mattered is he had the confidence and care to help.

In art after many years of creating art and making many mistakes I have found tools to do things I could not.  When teaching art to students that are frustrated, I ask if I may touch their piece or offer a solution. If they say, "Yes." I guide them to fix the mistake by on their own first, if they cannot I will show them how a certain tool or different method will do the trick.  It takes patience, it takes care, it takes time.

In art I will not give up on a student, I know I can teach art to anyone.  I know I can teach a student to have confidence in their own ability to create art and repair mistakes.  My daughter has a friend that is a master artist.  I was stuck on a piece and showed it to her, she suggested something I had not thought of, turn the piece into a mixed media piece instead of staying with the original intent of chalk on paper.  Sometimes we get so stuck on one way, we can't see the forest for the trees.

Stubborn personalities are like this, I know, I am stubborn but I am loosening up in my old age.
I can be taught but first I have to know someone truly cares for me and my well-being. Once the trust is established then I open my narrow vision.  Trust in myself has developed to the point I don't worry about much outside my scope of knowledge anymore, I know me, I trust me, I know "all will be well' and if something goes wrong, I can fix it, I can land on my feet.

If I can do this, anyone can, I'm not special, just human. Thankful.

I Have Nothing in Common with You!

It is so easy to decide that with negative people I choose to not have in my life, I can say, I am not like you, we have nothing in common. My confusion may be in other areas not as obviously toxic as yours and I have said this to myself, but as I continue to study I look deeper within to see my own toxic behaviors that I still need to root out. I'm beginning to think this is going to require the rest of my life, so bring it.

The truth is I can and do choose who I spend my precious time here with in this life on earth, life is short, and I choose to spend the majority of time with positive, kind, strong hearts that respect different opinions and look to make the world a better place, not people who are concerned for their comfort and opinions only.

The Dalai Lama loves everyone but he does not allow everyone he meets to be around him every day. He chooses those on the same path he is taking. He knows others can distract him from his focus and this he will not be, distracted from his purpose. Look at anyone in control of their life, man or woman, their circle of confidants are on their wavelength or they are not in their circle of close friends or close workers.

The truth is one thing we all have in common with one another is we all know pain from loving and not being loved in returned.  In this we are connected and can have compassion for everyone we meet. The teachings to inner peace to be free from pain are on Youtube and in books. Everyone who studies and wants to change can and will. But everyone does not want to know the complete truth of self. It is always a choice.

Reaching a certain amount of comfort for most people eliminates the need to look further inside to go deeper. I love going deeper, deeper, into finding inner peace.  To realize I do connect with everyone, I love the journey of awakening.

How To Make Your Comfort Zone Shrink

Do not try anything new.

Comfort is what we all seek, work for, believe is where we need to be. So we finally get there and now what?  Sit down and enjoy? For how long? Maybe the rest of your life?

The thing about the comfort zone that Pema Chodron teaches, it is  frightening that the older you get, 70s, 80s, the less you want to try the things you did when you were 20 or thirty. Why? You will think of the dangers and decide, "No."

So the next level outside of the comfort zone is "Challenges." One by one we steer clear. Why should we accept another challenge?

And the outer zone is "Excessive Risks."  That is definitely "Out of the Question."

At a closer look we see that our core "Comfort Zone" by logic has to shrink.

What is your confort? Video games? Netflix every night? Social media daily?  These are dangerous addictions for the mind. (read GLOW KIDS) 

Learning new things expands our comfort zone.

Comfort would be better spent in nature.  However the mind needs stimulation to stay young.Just a thought to consider, the older I get the more I know, we are really not here that long, we had best get busy living.

Thankful to be moving on.

Call Me Crazy, but...

This is how simple I am...today...it is a snow covered tree day, I live in the woods...I have taken off from my work today...no one here but Sweetheart and cats...

You know what this means?  I can walk on my treadmill, pet my cats for free love, lift free weights to stretch out, my personal chef will serve me while I write my book all day, get dressed or not, shower and relax while listening to music and write, literally chillaxin...

Life is good. I am thankful to live here and have eyes to see the black, white, gray, brown, world outside every window in every room I go... and deer.

This is a perfect day.

Most of all I'm thankful to have a man and children that love me and I adore then.

I Think I Married an Empath!

Empath: a person who feels the energy of others.

Yes I saw angels as a child and yes I have seen angels as an adult in times of need.  I thought everyone did, turns out they do not.

Now a respected doctor that I have followed sporadically over the years is outing herself as an "Empath" in making these videos.  Being the intuitive person I am, I heard her speak many times sharing her medical advice but when she was hanging out with Louise Hay who I first heard of only a couple of years ago, I knew the good doctor had more to say than she was saying.

Louise Hay and her publishing company publish many books on spirituality, and as you know I believe spirituality and being human is the same thing.  To separate it out is to not make the connection of true power as human beings. (But that is my concept)

So there is a 4 part video series on "Empath" that Dr. Northrup is giving away free via obtaining your email.  Yes you give her your email and you are on her list and Hay House list, however it is a list that will be most interesting to discover what each has to offer.

The first video lists a few things that are characteristic of an empath, I must say, my husband was everyone of the first 10 and I was every one of the rest of the list.  We look forward to listening to the rest of the videos to see if we should stay married or get  divorced... 😉

Fairy Floss

Looking out our back deck at the snow melting off the glass top table I see icey drips froze in midair reminding me of the cotton candy drips attached to the sides of the cotton candy machine at the country fair. I used to go to these fairs as a teenager with my boyfriend.  This candy amazed me. How was it made? Who discovered it? Today I would find out.

Crazy enough the machine was made by Gold Medal (Flour) but the air spun candy was invented by a dentist and a candy man.  Although there are people who said this kind of thread like candy was first made in the 15th century it was not until the machine age that it became widely known.  It was first made popular at the World's Fair in 1904.

The sugar is poured into a center bowl that heats and melts it, spins it out through miniature holes and is caught on the walls of an outer bowl to be scooped onto a stick.  Who the heck would think of such a thing?  I'm still looking to find how it was discovered, spun air candy? Come on!

This like my other question, who the heck would take an egg and fry it, and eat it?  Who was hungry enough to do that? And what gave the idea to heat it up first? Maybe there are aliens among us putting ideas in our head after all. This sounds crazy.

Other countries have their own version of cotton candy such as:

Iran - Pashmak

Turkey - Pismaniye

India -  Sohan papdi

China - Dragon's Beard

Korea - Kkul-tarae

If I were to sell this, I think I would like to become an artist of it like this Chinese street vendor. Has anyone else notice that the Chinese can make an art out of anything they do? And they are quite detailed in their art work. Beautiful art in China.

My favorite color and flavor is pink vanilla.  Melts in your mouth, not in your hand, well sometimes it does on a hot humid day. As much fun to watch being made as it is to eat.

Thankful to see how cotton candy is made on YouTube.

"Are you Operating Out of The Automatic Or Reflective Response of Your Mind?"

In a family that reacts on emotions and feelings you may grow up thinking your automatic response is the correct one but is it?

Science has proven we have both and we need both to survive however if you are more prone to automatic without a reflective in every situation you can end up being out of control of your emotions. If you operate out of the reflective only, you may have no feelings for the harm in a situation. Either way you may mean well but you are missing the facts and feelings that make your logic and reason kick in to make a truthful evaluation of any situation that benefits.

An example question of this was shared by a neuroscientist that was teaching the difference.
He asked, "What does a cow drink?"  Automatic response flashes "milk" across your mind but if you take a moment to think before you speak, your scientific evaluation of the animal will self correct and you say, "Water."

Men and women think differently, we all know this.  Men operate out of the mind, the five senses, the scientific evidence appeals more to their sense of logic and reason. Women operate out of the unseen side with feelings and facts, not always scientific. I believe this is why babies come through the female to get both sides of the mind in action.  A balanced mind is the goal.

Education is key to operate with both flags waving in the same direction to make rational decisions.
Education eliminates fear.  If you walk down a path and out of the corner of your eye you see a rattlesnake, your automatic decides time to run, but if you take a second to look closer you see it is not a snake at all, it is a rope, you laugh and keep walking. 

Which operating system are you operating out of when you get anxious or selfish? How can you expand your knowledge about the situation so you can laugh and decide to take action to calm down and remain kind to yourself and others?  This balance is where inner peace enters the mind and "the constant" awareness of the present moment is obtained moment by moment to stay in alignment.

Thankful be able to learn to be aware of my own imbalance and know ways to get back in alignment of peace. An alignment that has escaped many generations of families, mine included, where selfishness, negative judgments, unkindness, and the love of money has dominated our thinking with no feelings for individuals for way too long. 

Getting Away from The Wrong Circle of Influence, I'm Out!

Every day I have a choice.  I can fill my days with reading what I choose, I can fill my mind with considering thoughts dumped on me by family, social media, friends, people in the workplace, or I can go to the life I dream of where there is peace.  Every moment I can choose.

I'm not looking for utopia on earth with fellow humans, I do not believe this possible. I'm looking to work and live among like minded people. People who don't focus on their flaws, anger, missed opportunities, or regrets but people who are real. People who are not hiding behind making excuses for themselves or others, especially family and friends that made mistakes, but looking life in the eye and saying. "These flaws are not my flaws, these problems are not my problems, and allowing myself to help when possible without sacrificing my own happiness and well being."

I'm learning to step away from conversations that have no definitive answer but turns into, "I say, you say..." To think I have the only way to solve the problems of the world is asinine.  It takes two to fight and two to make peaceful relations, killing one another is not the answer.  My Marine son saw this first hand while in active battle in service.  My father use to tell me this, "It takes two to fight. Only one to walk away for peace."

So I see too many moments I let things rile me up that I cannot change...other people's viewpoints and opinions streaming on media.  So I will step back, focus on what makes me feel productive, writing my first book, what I bring to the world to help others, teaching my one way, (not the only way) how to control thoughts to gain inner peace, my purpose and passion...and look for purposeful, passionate, unselfish, kind, giving people like myself.  I'm stepping away for peace of my mind.

Lisa Nichols wrote in her book, "You don't discover passion, you uncover it."

I'm interested in people that are uncovering their own passion and focused there. Stepping away from the world that gets caught up in contracted, cyclic, negative, thinking.... Today? I'm out!

Thankful to see clearer every day the path to inner peace through study.



 

Education is Key to UnLocking Fear

When I read more and more books the one thing that is evident in the evolution of anyone's mind it is ALWAYS accompanied by getting new information to use reason and logic to rid the mind of fear.  I love education of every subject and I believe in the individual to figure truth out in time as they study and seek logic.

This is why I love everyone.  I believe everyone is born with the same ability to reasonably and logicly figure out truth with enough time and space to think for themselves. Being in a family that had an authoritarian household, questioning parents was not allowed, made me crazy because I would not, I could not buy the things I was being taught because I witnessed 'Christians" (In the church we attended and family members) doing things against the Bible verses I was being taught in church.

If this happens enough when you are young, either accept your insane family's concepts that excuse the "Sinful" behavior and live in silent confusion and fear, or you set yourself free. I set myself free mentally before I was able to leave home, and then physically as soon as I could afford a life away from home.

My journey of rebellion and new education has been the most wonderful life of discovery and inner peace.  Humans are not stupid.  If enough light enters the mind, a joyful thought will erupt in time and happiness will become your norm with confidence to live a wonderful life.

Thank goodness for the internet worldwide, public education, public colleges, and public technical schools, that are educating people everywhere about the truth of what is going on in the world instead of relying solely on the media feeds or narrow minded family cultures.

In this discovery, I learned to forgive and see past the mistakes of our family, but I had to learn new information outside of home to do this.

The world is getting better every day.