Sitting in the Driver's Seat of your Life

Whenever I look to another to give to me my needs I become a victim of the world.  When I need an apology from you, you hold me ransom. When I order you to do something, I become your prisoner.  When I take responsibility for my own survival and happiness I sit in the driver's seat of my life.

When I finally question my story of a negative image I have in my mind of you, I see it is best not to believe these stressful thoughts because when I do the world is not peaceful.  Inner peace can only be attained by peaceful thoughts. Peaceful thoughts come through questioning my negative perceptions, what if these are not true?  How peaceful would the world be without my negative thoughts?

Daily meditation with a grateful attitude will always make life sweeter. 

H2a1 Haplogroup

"23 and me" reveals something I have often wanted to be...related to a Native American Indian!  It shows I am related through my father's side of the family. Sure my grandparent is 100% Native American back in 1690 -1780 but I'll celebrate it. I have always thought about and loved Native American Indians.  My father loved these people and we have a bust of Hiawatha my mother bought years ago at an antique auction, I have it today in my house.

It seems I have Ashkenazi Jew, Iberian, (Mountain range people between Portugal and Spain) and Northern African relatives as well. So exciting to see my ancestry. So thankful to know I have these wonderful cultures in my bloodline.

My Haplogroup is the same as Luke of the Gospel.  Well, this is getting more interesting by the minute. Starts to explain to me why I do and think about certain things such as natural remedies to heal what ails you before resorting to modern pharmaceuticals.  After all the Indians did create many soothing medicinal herbal dressing and elixirs for their people that seems to have healed many.  Goes along with my theory that our thoughts are influenced by past generations, not solely created by our own.

Genealogy reports are so fascinating. We are one, we all come from the same mother in the end. What do you believe about this?

Wisdom Comes from Time

Many things I have discovered in my years of experiences and seeking inner peace on this earth are true for everyone that seeks inner peace, so many roads to the top of the mountain, my road is one way, not the only way.  Having said this I write. 

I do give reference to any person I learn something that clarifies a point to me.  All people are teachers and I am a student of life.  I do not know how I found this woman Lisa Nichols however she is very articulate in expressing her own lessons in life and what she did to achieve her success. First like me, she had no mentors in her family or friends so she read books, lots of them, me too.

She has made a roadmap of her journey for us if we choose to follow.  I choose to think about her lessons and see where I can apply any of her lessons for further clarity. I'm buying her book Abundance Now  which she says is her greatest legacy.  If it means that much to her it must have nuggets for me and anyone that chooses to read it. I became interested in Lisa Nichols from some YouTube interviews she gave.  Before I buy anyone's book I listen to their philosophy to see if it resonates with me, only then will I look further. 

A simple knowledge she shared is one worth repeating, "Hurt people, hurt people.  Sad people make others sad.  Misery loves company." 

Relationship with family members is a lifetime relationship and if you can repair a broken family relationship, it is good to do but you cannot repair that family relationship until you are not broken anymore. Go, heal yourself and come back to heal others if they are open to it. No need to preach/convince/ or convert. not my job to save anyone but myself. 

Bottom line the people you surround yourself with influence you.  You want to be happy and abundant?  Hang out where happy and abundant people hang.  Lisa Nichols had to find them in seminars of wealth and motivational seminars. She attended one seminar 42 times and when she finally had the light bulb of understanding open her mind to abundant living she became a speaker at the same seminar.

She tells of knowing many wealthy people who are lonely.  Lonely because they are surrounded with people who want something from them.  Abundant living to her means in every area you are over flowing with success and friendship.  She coaches people to this abundance in every area.

She speaks of something her grandmother told her when she was little, her grandmother taught, "Your conviction and your convenience don't live on the same street."  Meaning if you are willing to be inconvenienced your conviction  (your passion) is possible.

Now if your life is perfect and cozy, go with that, but if you are interrupted in your mind of what more you can be and know there is more to life than what you are living now then and only then will you look for a deeper meaning or greater change for you.

To say my mind is interrupted is a small statement, for I have been interrupted in my mind since I was eight years old and began to think for myself.  This one act was not allowed in my house and my disagreements brought much disapproval and harsh judgments upon me, first, from family members  and eventually outside the home in church and school.  Because of wanting a different life, one that was positive in nature and uplifting, I had to leave home.  It was clear my parents gave up on their dreams years before I was born and I was not ready to give up, I just got here, I had to move far away.

Thank goodness Lisa Nichols encourages leaving people behind that criticise your dreams and don't believe in you.  This is paramount to finding yourself.  Rock bottom is where many begin to look for another way.  I felt as if I was born in the rock bottom of my parent's life experiences.  Parents had resigned themselves to their perceived failures and I was not going to subscribe to that thinking.

Lisa Nichols may be dyslexic but she was captain of the cheerleading squad, she was a track star, she got into college and claims her loving supportive family was so nice to come home to, I did not have such a family. 

So when she says she had big dreams but no one to guide her there and she set out on her own to learn the abundant life, I understand. When she says "Life is lonely setting out to change into something her family had not experienced" I know the path well too.  One fundamental ritual she is sure of is one I learned too, being grateful for everything you have now brings more into your life. The abundant life...seems like I started out with a Bible class called, "Power for Abundant Living" when I was 14 years old.  I rode that doctrine for 14 years and when I learned all I needed there, I left and continued to learn more, more, more. 

Life has many roads and I know the one I am on now may not be the one I am on a year from now, 5 years from now but I know to get to the next connecting experience of my desired goal this road will lead me to the right road in time.  Patience and waiting with thankfulness knowing "all is well and all will be well," I am where I am supposed to be to become the person I want to become.  Knowledge is good but time, life on earth brings wisdom youth cannot know. I love having geriatric friends, they know so much more than me. If you have a friend that is twenty years older than you, and will take their time to talk with you, pull up a chair, you will learn much. Thankful for "The Swamp Witch.

Ours But Not Ours

The day each of our children were born I asked God to make me a wonderful memory for them and to help me "Let each go."  The day of birth for me was a day I wanted to put each of them in my pocket and carry them around safely so no one could ever hurt them for the rest of their lives.  I wanted no one to breathe on them, they might have germs...  I found this responsibility to be the biggest commitment I have ever made to another human being outside of marriage and also impossible to keep the children in a mother's cocoon of safety. 

I knew some way somehow, we would be there for them forever.  We would never leave them or forsake them, they would always know they were good, they were loved, they were wanted, that we had their back, we would never let them down, we would teach them they had talent, that they were here for a purpose outside of themselves, to be of service and good cheer to this world. We would help to educate them, we would be there in bad times, their hours of need, we would give to them financially, unconditionally because we decided to bring them in this world, we owed them everything we could give for them to live a life of their choosing.

If we lived up to this, one would have to ask them.  Everyone has their perspective and certainly the children have their own.  They have roots and wings. So many families give their children roots but then hold them back, hold them down, with traditions and obligations.  We did not want this for ours. We realized they are their own person, they have to find their own way in this world and as adult children, we knew our work of basic training was over (When they are 12 if it ain't in there by then it is too late) and now we love and wait for them to come to us or ask questions. I will say as a mother of adult children, if I hear one may be distraught or stuck, I will try to share what I have come to know, and this is the world may be challenging to understand at times but if you truly know yourself and stay focused on your goals, in time you will see you will absolutely live your dreams.

Always choose to be happy. If you are not happy, accept the situation or change it without hesitation.  Maybe the greatest familial lesson we have taught these wonderful children is to always have each others' back, support each others' endeavors and never let anyone come between them, not even a spouse.  (The right spouse would never try)

It is your life not ours, your life was never ours but my God it was fun raising you. Namaste.

My Biggest Fans

For Christmas my daughter and her husband bought me an engraved pen, "The Quail Writer" to celebrate my first year of writing every day.  Thank goodness for our dear family, their support and cheering us on in our endeavors are priceless.  This is the best day of my life so far. 

Thank you A & P. I love you.

                                                                                               ~Writer~

Although Santa was Not on our list

As many children wait for Santa and others only want their two front teeth, we wanted snow.  Once again the universe delivers.  White Christmas check, lots of laughter check, fireside games check. Good to have the family together again.

Sugarless Christmas

Paula Deen and I can cook up Diabetes II desserts any day of the week. I taught myself to cook full meals years ago as a teenager and everywhere I have lived and everyone I have lived with loves my cooking.  This Christmas I elected with agreement of everyone to not bake one cake, or one pie, or one cookie, no candy with peanuts in a bowl...just healthy fruits from Hales Grove Farms.  So relatives gave us plenty of these and the family is enjoying these as our dessert with coffee.  I even skipped making my grandmother's mouth watering good pound cake which is a good stand by if anyone really wants a sweet slice.

So no pound cake, no chocolate dipped strawberries, no chocolate fondue, no sugar cookies, no chocolate chip cookies, no jelly filled croissants, no candy, no sweet tea, no soda, no alcohol, no chocolate milk, just water, home roasted coffee beans, and hot tea.  The children are eating healthier and healthier and we must say our vegan daughter has influenced all of us to cut down on our meat intake.

So just as we are settled into a sugar less and healthiest Christmas dinner we have ever had our son-in-law drives in with a "made from scratch lemon pound cake" made with love from his mom.  Thank you Rose, it will be enjoyed this holiday.

Thankful to have all the "sweet" children here for this Christmas.  Each of them and their significant others are complete delights, thankful, thankful, thankful! Life could not get any better than this. Today is the greatest day of my life until the sun comes up tomorrow. It's snowing!

Emotions Can Get you in Trouble But If You Question Your Thoughts...

One of the simplest yet most challenging concepts to understand in thework.com by Byron Katie is this...You don't let go of thoughts, once you question the validity of a stressful thought it let's go of you.  Once you do this, you let life live you, you don't live life.

Heavy yet simple if you have the courage to face yourself.  Easy, not so much, it takes daily meditation, daily.  Until this becomes your nature, it is work. I'm willing to do the work for the rest of my life if necessary, I want to be free. So thankful for Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle.

That is why Byron Katie calls it "thework.com."

Christians! Love Your Enemies! Let's change that...

Going down a highway I saw a lit up billboard. "Christians Love Your Enemies! I told Sweetheart would not that be more powerful if it read, "Christians Have No Enemies!"  Enemy is a fighting word and as long as we have one we are in a fight.  As long as you have a fight you cannot have inner peace.  When the war within yourself is won there will be no war without.  This inner peace is the change in the world. This change is world peace.

You Live, You Die, Thoughts About Others

Sweetheart and I were listening to a comedian talk about how violent thoughts cross his mind periodically but it is his sanity that keeps him from acting.  I think this is true for all of us.  Have you ever thought you know I could do a harmful act to that person or thing and no one would ever know? But your love for life and the life of the other person stops you from taking any action to do it? This self preservation instinct extends to all life for the unconfused mind.

The mind is the one sane control panel for our body.  But the instinct to care and be kind to one another is born in all of us.  Makes you wonder how far off course a person's mind has to go to consider killing as an option for any problem.  Everyday we go through our lives, living, walking, driving, talking, working with others we just see in passing and we can never know what the other person is truly thinking.  There may be people we each may think would make the world a better place if they were not here anymore, but who do we think we are?  What egos we have, to think we know who is worthy to live and who is unworthy and should die.  Every life serves a purpose whether we know that purpose or not.

Personally I don't have anyone that I think should not be here anymore.  Time takes care of that whether we like it or not, eventually we all die.  I do not buy the reasoning for any human to use the "after all we are just mammals" as the excuse for bad human behavior that takes advantage of another or preys on innocence.  Just because animals do it does NOT make it ok for humans to. For humans to look to animal behavior for all our behaviors with no consciousness of the outcome to another is insane.

The control of your actions that originates in your mind is our advantage over the animal world, if we use it. Seems simple but so many are missing the basic point. How do I know we are missing it? Look at the results in the world.  Use that as your compass and find your way back home to kindness and love.

I Met An Old Acquaintance Today, She Said, We Both Got What We Wanted

I have not spoken with her for maybe 30 years, she knew me when I went to church and taught the Bible... and that ended before we had babies.  Back then she wanted a house full of children, and she being a beautician wanted a girl baby, she had two divorces and three boys.

To catch up, she is married to husband #3, she has 9 grandbabies, 6 boys and three girls.  With the sons' wives, her oldest is 50, her house is full of babies, laughter and noise, just like she wanted.  She cooks fabulously, she decorates and dresses in style, very classy chick at 70.  She had her own business in her home, a beautician, she did hair, etc. at her house for 40 years, financially independent she provided for her boys when exes did not.  She was and is a beautiful woman.

She asked about me, my Sweetheart and our three children.  I told her they all grew up, were educated, went in the military, and are living life on their terms.  I told her we raised our children to be free of family obligation and if they should choose not to have children that was their choice.  I wanted them to be free to travel and do what they want, I told them children are expensive and can really hold you down. You have to be ready for that life, once the children come, careers, education, go on the back burner.  Taking care of your own children at home comes first.  No daycare for babies.  As of now they don't have children and marriage is not on the top of the list for the boys although our daughter is married.  She was surprised that there are no grandbabies but agrees you have to let children live their own lives, they do anyway.  She agrees totally about taking care of your children at home especially when they are preschoolers. That is why she had a business at home.

She told me she talks to her eldest son every day and the others once a week or so... I told her weeks and months go by and I do not talk to all of mine but that is our house.  Independent grown kids, living their life without checking in with Mom and Dad is our idea of adulthood.  It may not be acceptable for others but then we are not living other lives we are living our own and it is working for us.

She said,"Well we both got what we wanted" and she is so right. Thankful for our lives and children, thankful we are living the life we dreamed about long ago.

Meditation, So Many Different Teachings How to Do It

If you study the different ways to meditate you will find, some say meditation is the absence of thought.  Another says, there is no way to not think, you must strive to not think by telling yourself, thinking and get back to not thinking again and again till you are still in your mind.  Another monk teaches meditation is every moment of every day in everything you do as long as you are present. Byron Katie teaches to try to repress thoughts is not natural, of course you will think that is why she teaches the 4 questions and turn it around to do work with your mind to control your emotions.

Transcendental meditation teaches to work up to 30 minutes or an hour twice a day. The more the better. Most people believe to meditate every day is good and so they stay quiet in their mind for 10 minutes each morning and that is enough.  Prayer is a kind of meditation.  Whatever we choose, I think the point is to go inside, get still and release creative thoughts that produce new ideas.

What I find is whatever you do, is the right meditation for you.  If we get caught up in every monk or guru as having the right way then all others are wrong.  What we pick for ourselves is the right one. A meditation can be as simple as:

Oh Joy! What Joy looks like to me...

Sweetheart gave me a remote speaker so I can take it anywhere inside or outside the house and listen to Byron Katie teach the work all day long.  Getting ready for holiday visitors I listened as she taught the work 7 hours yesterday, today I listened 9 hours, if I keep this up I might walk on water!

The thing I continue to agree with is thework.com is not for everyone.  Everyone finds their own peace, their own way and as I always say,"there are many roads to the top of the mountain."  I think I have traveled many options and for me thework.com is the shortcut I was looking for.  Just like Isagenix products are the shortcut to good health for me.  I like shortcuts, I like to not waste time in anything I do. 

The world is a peaceful place and all war belongs on paper.  When I stop the war inside of me with my fellow humans, then peace is in the world, and for me a lotta JOY.

Thank you BK and I don't mean Burger King.

I'm beginning to think BK is the first feminist.

For Some People Pets are the Only Thing Keeping Them Sane

If you listen to Buddhists teachers they all have a different take on how to accomplish the same goal but they all agree that the greatest teachers of meditation are animals.  All of them.  Each animal rests in being.  Animals go through each day in the wild not knowing where their next meal will come from or thinking past the present moment because they can't. It takes higher intelligence to measure time or find a way to worry about the future.

In the end of life we all can look back and be proud or be disappointed.  So many struggles along the way can cause some to give up or give in to life and merely try to exist.  I met a older military vet in VT.   He was parked at a convenient store, his car had military vet stickers all over it.  The car was rusty, inside it looked like a dump, and there in the passenger seat next to the driver was a filthy, long hair matted, little dog.  I thought, another vet homeless, that does not need to be if he will go for help.  I knocked on his window and asked if I could sit in the back seat to speak with him for a minute?  He said, "Yes."

I dropped in the back seat and spoke to him about his circumstances.  Long story short I got his number, he had a phone but no home.  I hooked him up with VA services.  Turns out he was a vet, but had a criminal record, he was a drug addict, and was on parole waiting trial for dealing drugs.  The VA wants to help him but cannot unless he keeps himself out of criminal behaviors.  He said VA wanted to put him in a shelter but he had to give up his dog. He said the one thing he could never do was give up his dog.  That poor dog was so depressed and in need of TLC that I would have thought he would have given him to a no kill shelter to help the dog get the food and care the dog needed but if he could not help himself why would he make a "sane decision" to help his dog?  The thing about an addict is the addict is caught up in selfish thoughts. The mind is closed to new information that can cause positive change.  An addict is self-serving, self-abusing, self-loathing, and can only be helped by helping himself.  According to this Veteran this dog was the only friend in the world the addict had.

Buddhists teach we can learn present moment and meditation from watching animals.  This morning I was sitting watching the sun rise and my cat sat at the window staring out.  I watched the cat as I tried to stay focused and relax to mediate.  The cat could sit quietly and just look without motion.  I sat quietly and focused on the sunrise without thoughts arising. I thought later about how much affection that cat gives me, the many times that cat sits in my lap and purrs reminding me to slow down and enjoy the soft fur of his coat. I realize that I was happy that military veteran had that dog and sent a prayer that both would be OK.  That is all I can do. 

Pets may be here to keep us sane with their innocent affectionate existence, that is another gift from above when we have no one.  Truth is petting an animal may be the only meditation many people will ever practice.  Thank goodness for this bit of sanity, pets.

"Do Not Try To Save the World" by Jaya Ramachandran fellow B-Schooler

"Do not try to save the World!

 "Most of us, especially the ones who want to help others through their business or job, go into thinking that they have to somehow save the world.

You see the pain in others, you see the suffering, you can feel how they feel and your heart goes out to them.

You want to put them and their needs first, you want to somehow help them out of their pain.

If you can’t help them, you kind of beat yourself up for not being able to convince them because it is your ‘job’ to help them.

Cut yourself some slack..will you?

It is not your responsibility to save the world.
It is no one’s responsibility to save the world.

The world 'could' change with one person.

But the way to go there is not by trying to help everyone but yourself.

The only way to change anything.... go into yourself first.
Understand what you truly ‘want’.

Satisfy your needs first!

Does that sound selfish?

How about, you trying to help others..so you kind of feel good?
Is that thinking about yourself? Yes, it is.

Most random acts, when it comes from a place of desperation or being needy to prove your worth or to feel good…is in a way being selfish, unconsciously.

So how about making this act of being selfish..conscious.

How about you get extremely clear about what you want, why you want it and how to actually achieve them? Not having to prove that you are indeed thinking of others.

How about saving yourself first before you set out on a task to save others.

When you start filling your cup, something unexpected happens.
You actually start getting bored of it after a while.

Because just valuing your needs alone, kind of gets old.

Now, you actually want to share your joy with others.
Meaning, you want to give without any expectation.

No desperation, no neediness, no trying to prove that you are good enough.

Without even realizing, you are gravitating to being the person that you are truly meant to be.

The Leader in you awakens!

Your authenticity and truth awaken others as well!

Now, you are truly saving the world, one person at a time!!!

Jaya 

This is a HUGE Lesson to Learn, Age Helps

I'm sure Jesus taught this, he taught all the basic truths.

You Believe What You Choose to Believe, You Live it Everyday

I visited a Christian family about three years ago.  These people did not know me, or anything of my past.  They had dedicated their life to Christ years ago and now were missionaries in the military with "The Navigators." (A Christian based Bible study lead by this couple on this base)  These folks are good people and when we sat to talk and get to know one another, the husband sat with his Bible in his right hand and a confident look on his face to address me.  The look was one I have seen in my brother's eye after he became a minister and also felt it is his duty to spread the word of God through his announcement of "the good Book" to everyone he meets in life.  After all Christianity saved them, the Bible teaches "it can save all." To believe this you must also believe everyone needs saving.

What this couple did not know is that I have been an "born again" Christian all my life and in my teens became a missionary and studied the Bible in depth for over 20 years before I met this couple. I had studied to become a reverend and in my studies found, there is no need. No need to save anyone but yourself. No need to judge another religion is not equal to your own.  No need to be "born again" because we all got it right the first time.  We were born as good as it gets but the religious doctrine that we are taught by our elders as true, begins to be our safety blanket when we are convinced we cannot think for ourselves and choose the high road. We can.

Peace is a natural state of mind. Thoughts tell us to stress.  So as this wonderful, loving man began to teach me his "Word of God" I asked him one question.

"To believe what you are sharing you have to believe you have the one truth, the one way.  Do you agree that you accepted that this Word of God is your moral compass for your life?"

"Yes."

"Then can you accept that I choose not to use this Bible with all its divisive judgments including that a man is the head of the household? This is the one thing I have, my choice, a freedom to choose to believe or not. I choose not. You do not need to be a "believer" to live a life of compassion and kindness to your fellow humans."

This gave him pause.

When I became a student of thework.com by Byron Katie I chose to go to a live workshop to meet here and hear her teach.  One thing she did repeatedly to the audience is hold up a glass of water and ask,"What is this?" 

We all answered, "That's obvious. Ir is a glass of water!"

She said, "Who told you this was a glass of water?"

"Everyone in the world can see that is a glass of water! Duh!"

Again she held up the glass of water and asked, "Who told you this was a glass of water?"

This went on for quite a while until it dawned on me what she was teaching was the same thing I told that couple years before, you choose to call it a glass of water because you were taught it was a glass of water.  Without words attached to this material object, a glass of water, this glass of water "just exist.  When I believed it, I called it a glass of water.  I could have just as easily been told this glass of water was "a jug of mud."  If this was my belief then it would be "a jug of mud" to me.

So I discovered my thoughts create my world and I can choose what to think about everything that has ever happened to me or not.  My reality is I am.  Much more than that is a dream. 

When I am not confused about this, my peace enters inside my mind to stay as long as I continue to live in the present moment.  Surely my life goes on everyday as I make more and more choices, but the freedom and confidence of knowing reality brings me joy.  So this is my joy to the world.  I actually choose to believe Jesus was not teaching he was the savior of the world, he was teaching we each save ourselves through our own beliefs and thoughts about our world, the world we live in everyday.

You believe what you choose to believe, we all do, and we live the life of those thoughts, no way around it. Namaste.

The Truth is a Smile Can Change the World

When I was a Girl Scout leader, the "Brownies" had a song, 'Smile in My Pocket.'  To smile without ill will in your heart is what children do best.  Children do not have emotional baggage yet, they are sweet and kind by nature, all children, boys and girls.  What happens in childhood and adolescence can damage that innocence and make an adult bitter or if it was a fun childhood it can make a child happy and excited. 

If your life was not happy, you have to find that innocence again and heal yourself. You can do it, I did it, but it takes daily concerted effort.  I was born with a turned down mouth, (I've decided it is a generational thing) I was asked constantly in high school, "What are you mad about?"  Maybe I was mad at my life sometimes, but I consciously decided to smile often so my face would reveal what I was really feeling, happy in my mind. It worked, people stopped asking me to "smile."

Now I give a smile away every single day to every person I meet, well almost every person.  What I do know is that the smallest distance between two people is a smile.  Many people smile back at me, the world is friendlier than I knew.

Step One, Get Rid of TV, Select Only Sources You Trust To Be Informed/Aware

We stopped cable TV almost a year ago, and we have more meaningful conversations. TV is a distraction, commercials and news are controlled by people with an undisclosed agenda, always has been, nothing new here.  If the media (commercial or news) can get you to "fear" anything whether it is a disease, a person, an environmental disaster, a pharmaceutical, another country, another leader, then you can be sold on any remedy the government/retailer/world leader wants you to buy, including their protection or solution.

Better think for yourself. You can. You were born to think and then act.  As long as any of us are caught up in sensual pleasure or luxury, we have no need to think and act in a way to change the world. I am so encouraged by many, many, people that are waking up without violence to continue the political and social movements Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and The Dalai Lama began.  The first two may have been assassinated by brutal ignorance but this is not the future. The Chinese government are trying to rid the world of the true Dalai Lama by creating/brainwashing their own "Dalai Lama for China" leader.  Thankful to have known the 14th in my life and have heard him speak in person and on you tube.  You can too.

Glad to be here, glad to be free, glad to have a voice. The simple act of kindness everyday is a stand against tyranny.  Time to dismantle the Federal Reserve Bank, bank locally.  Do not bank with national owned banks: Chase, Bank of America, Citi, Wells Fargo, choose employee credit unions instead.

As far as pharmaceuticals? Eat organic, demand to be a NO GMO country.  If government won't provide it, take your health and food into to your own hands. Be aware and eat accordingly. For freedom's sake do not get a chip put in your body for tracking.  Even if it is promoted as a way to conveniently buy something, by waving your wrist over a magnetic device, (in case you forget your wallet at home that day), don't get it.  No one needs to know that much about you.

We all are beginning to see and stand up, speak up, and my goodness the voice of the collective aware ones is beginning to bring morally good change.  The heart of my stand is right here in the USA. The last frontier for freedom is our minds. 

You Will Drive Yourself Crazy Getting Emotional about All the Problems of This World

Focus. It is hard to focus when anyone gets pulled into to every crises in the world. It is impossible to make a difference when your emotions are all over the next injustice. Sure we care but pick one. Devote yourself to making a difference in that one cause. Study that cause in depth so you can speak with your own true facts not facts spoon-fed to you.  Then calm down knowing you are NOT the only "savior" in the world.  Many people have focus and are studying to make the world better, they are actually devoting their entire being to their cause.  These make a real difference in their focus.

Otherwise you will be unhappy and scattered in heart and brain.  Just something older people have come to see, focus first on you and yours, the world will do the same. Remember others have heart and caring too. Life can be much simpler and fun when you make peace within yourself and choose one thing.  To focus on everything is to end up doing nothing of value.

The Bigger Government Controls, the Smaller the Privileges of the Average Citizen

Can't help but write about the Marina Bay Sands Hotel in Singapore.  The government decided there was not enough revenue generated in Singapore. Tourist used it as a stop over port rather than a destination.  So the government built a hotel that houses 2,500 rooms with an infinity pool the size of three olympic pools on top as the main attraction.  This hotel costs 3 and one half billion of the tax payers money and is to bring in as much over a ten year period.

160,000 pieces of clothing for staff that has to be perfectly fitted every day.  Valet parks 200 cars an hour and these are luxury cars.  There is another casino that generates 70% of the money and the hotel guests have money to burn. Not your average citizens.  This hotel employs 98% Chinese and only 1-2% local Singapore people. The locals and the staff cannot afford a car because in Singapore you must pay the government $50,000 for a certificate to drive for ten years and this is BEFORE you are "allowed" to purchase a car.  The hotel boasts of the most high end eco-friendly conservation of energy and water in a country that has low water reserves. Who cares if it is eco-friendly if you are creating a need to use more of the sparse water already there for something that is not needed, this hotel? Millions of guests? For what?

More money for the Chinese government.  This model may be working but it is killing individual freedom.  The staff is stressed as their jobs are based on their continued performance of perfection. Special Forces officers run the various departments, the one in charge of the cars valet is an American SF man.  Geesh! The head butler is a Chinese Special Force Officer.  Precision in war to defend the innocents is one thing but to run a hotel that caters to the elite of the world and leaves average citizens to walk and take public transportation without choice because they are poor is morally unequal or fair.  This China government is not a model to emulate.

Say what you will about this country but it is still available for the rags to riches person to rise with much work, discipline, ingenuity and confidence here the USA. Look  at Oprah Winfrey, look at John Denver, at least you have an opportunity here, immigrants come here for a reason and once again I see why. Say what you will but we can still get a license to drive here just by passing a driver's Ed class and paying minimum for the license.  We can get an affordable car here as well.

Thank you America for the individual rights and opportunity here in the USA. Deregulation of the government is paramount for the survival of individual freedom of the average citizen.  USA is not perfect but with leaders with a heart for the people in time it will be the best place to live.

The difference between USA politicians that make careers out of their positions and pass laws in the night to give themselves private health care options and raises with perks of travel expenses are no different than the Chinese government holding the individuals back from driving or owning a car. The egos of politicians that think that they are the elite thinkers, only they can "do what is best for all the citizens of the USA" is ridiculous and must be curtailed.

The only way for anyone to rise up is to think for yourself, create your own inner peace, and live on your own peaceful terms. Today we can do that in this country, I don't know about the future.

One thing is for sure, I am NEVER going to complain about standing/sitting in line at the DMV again!

How is inner peace found? How do I to keep it?

Curly in "City Slickers" movie says. "Life is "One Thing." You must find that one thing.  For me life is finding inner peace as I had lost hope to find it in the world long ago. Fortunately my seeking has found much. For me:

Inner peace comes in knowing life is perfect just as it is, the hard times, the good times, all for our learning pleasure.  

"Life lives you, you might as well let it." ~ Byron Katie

Byron Katie's latest book A Mind At Home with Itself  is so thought provoking and deep, if I were not a student, I would toss it out.  So deep, beyond my normal thinking and comprehension. Had to give me some breathing space after first half, had to go away from this and come back for another deep dive into consciousness after a long break.

I know the lesson will be worth the effort to study or I would not continue.  Eckhart Tolle another favorite of mine... thinking and writing again today.

Million Air

This airport is by the Albany Airport, I've always wanted to go there today I did. Let's just say...This is the way to fly.  Seated, front glass window of tarmac, watching planes come in, watching valet bring cars to plane for passengers to get in and drive away. No lines, no waiting, no scanners, no taking your shoes off, no conveyor belt x ray machines, no touching your luggage. Luxury concession, my favorite no hurry, no laptops everywhere, virtually no people around, just peaceful, quiet, waiting for a plane to land. Small 12 seater private planes landing with pilots in uniform.

Magazines advertising multi-million dollar homes, vacations, and my favorite...the women throughout the pages showed no cleavage, no short skirts, no skin tight dresses, and my idea of classy dressed ladies. The men in the magazine wore nice suits and clothes, no tight clothes and no jeans, with no emblems or advertisements.  Unless a man is in uniform, I like subdued casual dress for males.  Just my opinion, not a judgment on humans.

Yes, This is the my idea of the only way to fly and people to dress. We can dress classy now, to fly this way?  One day...

Pluviophile

In my travels today to the Bronx, I stopped to eat at a familiar restaurant, TGIF.  The people I see in here and the situations I observed were not familiar to my reality. The host that seated me was a young man that talked about spending last night at the hospital with his sick cousin, he was tired but had to come to work today. The waitress, a beautiful woman with long purple nails that matched her purple lipstick perfectly, looked glamorous. She intends to go back to college. (She is 31 with an associate's degree in criminal justice, I meet a lot of people that have this degree) She wants to get into social work and psychology, she wants to know what makes people tick. (Sounds very familiar to me) Presently she is thinking of modeling to make extra money, and sent out pictures to a modeling agency. She just received an email her for an interview. I do believe she will do well in modeling, she has got the looks.

City life is vastly different from the country silence we live. Sweetheart and I have a little world carved out in comfort on the Hudson River that we do not venture far from. Once when we were younger we did travel a lot but now we settle into a home we built for our family. Another older age, on our journey in this house.

We walk the driveway daily year round usually and we talk. Tonight it was raining and we walk. In the darkness the feeling of the cool mist on my face and my arms, reminds me of when I was a child and loved to walk in the rain. Sweetheart is bundled up, cold again. And I'm wearing a short bath robe with shoulders and neck exposed, I'm hot again, in an upstate N.Y. December. Could we be anymore different?  Somehow we make it work.

We talk about our day, our businesses, what more we want to invent, discover, and do.  Rarely is there an disagreement anymore, we know each other so well.  We rid the house of cable TV, the silence of the night country air is brought inside now.  We concentrate on business and clients and new ideas. I thought about the people in the Bronx, I wondered if any of them felt the same peace living there as I do living here?

My thought, "They probably do. They probably love the bustle of the city and their life as much as I love solitude and silence. Anyway we all live the life we live until we don't. (Sounds so BK)  Change can only be made when I decide to change it.  It is the same for every person. To sit and think and write, to walk in the rain at night, sounds like heaven to me. And so I live..."

No one likes to be preached at, not even kids...

Listening to the teacher in The Masterclass writing course teaching writing, she reminds writers not to preach.  I thought about this many years ago and I realize when anyone starts preaching to me, I tune out, you have lost my attention.  You also have lost my interest in you or what you have to say that might be of benefit to me.  I also do not care what you think of me, all I think of you is, "Next. Moving on."

I know to raise small children you must set a schedule, be an example, teach basics, and I know they learn more by your actions not only with them but their father, their mother, other family members and friends that visit your house and the friends' house they visit. They actually believe you more than any church teachings preached to them. They watch you or whoever is their "main caretaker" to learn how to behave and what views to hold true.

As soon as I read or listen to someone telling me what I should and should not do, I think and move away.  We all have a brain, we all have a conscious when we are young, (it can become unconscious when older) that knows right from wrong, and feels for the weaker, the animal, the underdog.  I try to remind myself when writing this blog and speaking to people.  I preface my opinion if not asked, with "This is none of my business, (Because it is not) but that dog is known to bite strangers, just wanted to warn you before you try to pet him. However it is your choice, your life."

This segway gives my protective instinct a vent with an open door for you to choose to do as you please. Fortunately I let people live without my opinion mostly.  I have known one thing for years and that is people in general are good and there are many ways to get to the top of the same mountain.  My way is just one way.  Yours can be just as effective and good.

The "should" and "should nots" in any comment raises a red flag to my ears.  Maybe I should and maybe I should not but that is my decision not yours. I will have one of those delicious "Preacher Cookies" please and thank you, since you made them. Yummy! 

"I do, I do, I do, and would "I do" again, knowing you even better"

I'm taking an online course on writing. I love online courses to learn anything, started taking these in college and enjoyed the convenience of being at home while going to class. This writing class brings up good insight.

In this class the teacher says, "Writers are born that way."

She goes on to explain the curiosity of a writer, the observance of people, their conversations, their expressions both verbally and physically, to be a writer is to take in everything surrounding anything observed.

Sweetheart and I were discussing this and he said,"That is you exactly. The details you remember about situations you encounter, the way you observe others and their actions has always amazed me. You seem to be able to predict what a person will do next, at times you tell me, and I actually see it come to pass. Yep you are a writer."

The whirlwind of my mind I see, now,is normal.  The characters that live in my mind are waiting to be expressed and only then can I let them go.  I get it, I see it, now to write it. I realize I do what I do, observance of others, for writing.

My husband is so black and white, and I am so rainbow, I asked him,"How can you stand my in depth analyzation of myself, situations and you, to understand what makes me and others tick?"

He said,"If I were married to a black and white like me, it would be fatal.  The marriage probably would not last. You make life so interesting coming from a new direction every day. You make me think about things I never would without you sparking the interest. And I love you, just the way you are, through good times and bad times, I like going through life with you."

"I love you too Sweetheart, the person who holds the string to the heart of this helium balloon of imagination, me."

Parcheesi in Kingston

Sweetheart knew I wanted our Parcheesi game to play with a child that visited us during Thanksgiving but I could not find it anywhere.  I tried to pick one up locally but no one had a Parcheesi game. I could not believe it. It was fun to play and my husband remembers playing it with his Grandmother for years as a child. So I buy a couple of other games and we had fun anyway.

Wednesday I come home and guess what is on the table?  You guessed it. A new Parcheesi game for me from my Sweetheart.  He found one in Kingston, NY 40 miles away, had some time to kill and drove over to get it for me.  Yep, he's a keeper. Thank you Charlie, I love you best of all! Let's play Parcheesi!

I'll let you know when you make the decisions!

We have to get a urine sample from cat number 2, Moke, Moke, for some tests the vet is having on him.

Locked in the downstairs bathroom for the night, we were able to get the feces sample this morning, but no urine. GRRRRR! I don't want to make time for this. I put #2 cat back in the bathroom.

So cat #1, Daniel, the white cat, king of the house, sees a mouse on the deck, dead. Moke Moke killed it last night before coming in and left it for breakfast.  Oh no charisse, #1 cat says .,"That one is mine! You snooze you lose Moke!" So we let #1 cat out he is eating Moke Moke's mouse.

Moke Moke is still in the bathroom meowling, he has had enough! he does not want to be confined to that bathroom anymore.  "Let me out! Let me out! I hear you two in the kitchen now!" He continues to meow very loudly and continuously.

Me the MOM: "No, not until you pee pee for me. Drink the fish water Dad made for you and pee, then I will let you out Sweetie."

Moke Moke: "I do not have to pee, I do not want to stay in here, let me out!"  He continues to meow very loudly and rapidly but me the nurse mom, says to self, "I hate to go against Moke's wishes but I have to get his sample. If I let him out he may go in the litter box without the special non-absorbent litter the vet gave me or he may dart outside and go there.  I do not want to chase him all weekend for this sample. So he is staying in there."

Sweetheart says: "That cat is bothering, can we keep Daniel outside and let Moke Moke stay inside but out of the bathroom?"

Me: "I can't let Moke Moke eat anymore, the food absorbs too much water in him and he will never pee. If Daniel comes in we'll have to open the door to the downstairs litter box or he may go to potty up here. Can't let Moke Moke downstairs."

Sweetheart: "Then we will take up the food and leave #1 cat outside. He's eating Moke's mouse anyway, he'll be Ok."

Me: "Ok."

That fresh #2 cat Moke Moke is let out by his cat Daddy and as he runs by me, sticks out his tongue at me and  says, "See, I got out! Dad likes me!"

Now #1 cat is up on the glass pawing to get in.  Pawing, pawing, pawing, now caterwauling loudly and annoyingly.  I ignore as I write and he continues to get louder, louder, and now I hear cat paws screeching down the glass door he is peering in as he yells,"What's up mom?  I always get in when I beg and paw. Don't tell me you don't see me too, it's a glass door! Let me in, I've had breakfast and it's cold out here!"

Sweetheart says, "Can't we let Daniel in?  Let's take up all the food and I'll keep fish water away from Daniel #1 cat. I'll close the basement door so no cat can go down to that litter box, Daniel will ask me when he has to go there, then I'll let him downstairs, and if Moke Moke asks, I'll make him go into the downstairs bathroom where the special litter box is located. Ok?"

So Sweetheart lets Daniel in, as Daniel runs by me he shouts, "What? You actually did not get up and let me in? I had to wait for Dad to let me in?  I'm #1 cat! I run this house!  What madness is this?"

Daniel to me: "Let's not talk about this, and let's not let this happen again Mom!  I'll let you know when you make the decisions! The very idea! Not letting me in, making me beg! Who do you think you are?"

Both cats go into Sweetheart's office and find a cozy spot, curl up and go to sleep near him. Yeah Mom's the bad guy again.

Determined Woman

My father once called me "determined" when I took him to see his wife, my mother. He was a in a VA nursing home and mother was in respite care at a home nearby, after double knee surgeries.  I came down from NY to visit Mom and take Dad to see her.  Dad was unable to walk, now wheelchair bound, I pushed him to my car, drove him to see mother a few miles away.  When I parked the car I tried to get him out of the car, back in his wheelchair and he slipped from my grasp. I quickly got my body between him and the cold ground so he would land on me and not get hurt. I stopped his fall but I could not raise him up again, he was too heavy. He weighed so much I had to lie him down. I put a coat under his head and would need to go for help. As I lay Dad on the ground, he looked at me and said,"One thing I'll say for you, you are determined!" That was the first time I recall being called "determined."

I was determined. Determined to make my life, my marriage, my children's lives better than the house I came from and together with my dear husband, we did.  Now the children are grown and doing well, out of the house, it is "us two" again.  My character and intent is to be kind to anyone I meet and to help if I can, remembering to set boundaries. I practice mediation and training my speech to be kind, I have more work to do in this area, so I study.  I continue to write not knowing where or when the inspiration will lead, and in time I know the books will come into focus and flow out of me. My Sweetheart has called me "determined" many times. 

A writer's life is not easy.  To put down on paper the right word at the correct line takes thought. No "perfect" life circumstances makes one write. You write under any circumstance until you are finished. I particularly read and seek the story of accomplished writers to see the adversity that they overcame to write. This encourages me.

Louisa May Alcott's story is one fraught with financial adversities. Her father was more interested in "thinking" than supporting the financial needs of his all female family. He had talent but his radical ideas did not keep him employed. The women would have to work to keep a roof over their heads, and let's not forget Louisa's mother had an inheritance she had to tap into twice to secure a house for the family.  

Amos Bronson Alcott was a philosopher that supported abolition of slavery, and women's right to vote. Bronson Alcott was ahead of his time. His writings and speeches gave action to his ideals but he suffered a lot for his radical views, unemployment was one of his punishments. It may be that his teachings of female equality created the determined women in his household to be able to work and find ways to support the family without his help.  His female children were workers. Louisa thought being a wife excluded women from the autonomy of your own dreams and endeavor. So she chose "not to marry or have children." It certainly can put your life on hold, and it should if you choose to have children and raise them.

 Can you imagine what it was like to grow up in a house that had dreams and goals outside of yourself? Imagine learning from your father's contemporaries, Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, having these progressive thinkers at dinner to inspire and converse about your own aspirations? To be a child like Louisa and her sisters performing plays for them after dinner? Life could have promise for a dreamer in that home.

Thank goodness for public education that taught me to read. It has been my ability to read that has allowed me to dream, to dare to think I might write and be of some service to others from my own life experiences. I know now, all life is precious and has purpose. Thank goodness for other wirters, producers, researchers, actors, that produce PBS documentaries.  The one on Louisa Alcott is insightful and inspiring. Women need more exposure of their accomplishments. Thank you, Riesen, Porter and Marvel, you know who you are.

Yes I am a determined woman. 

Life is short.

Georgia, Georgia on my mind...

Today I met another immigrant. This lady from the country, Georgia. She is about 45 y o. Once again another immigrant has come to the country knowing no one, with a sack full of dreams and some money she has saved to start a better life here for herself. She knows how to make "fine wine" and plans to make a successful business of it. First task, get some steady work to have some income here, next find a house to rent with a big basement to make her wine. She has been here a month.

For my American mind, this brings up many "legal" questions. Health department to approve the making of wine in a rented house? Business license to operate a wine business? You know as an American born and raised, you live here and know the challenges of starting and making a business successful...it is hard, smart, work. I could have said, "Good day" and left, but the conversation I had with another immigrant friend yesterday made me feel the need to warn her of the dangers in America so I did.

My friend yesterday, told me that she was sold a bill of goods about America, and America did not live up to her expectations. She thought people were punished for their crimes here fairly, she learned blacks suffer more here because of racism, and wealthy perps suffer least. She thought this was a land of opportunity and because she did not learn how to prosper financially here, taxes so high, this is a lie too. She thought men did not cheat on their "one wife" here, she sees cheaters everywhere all the way up to the POTUS. In her mind this country was supposed to be the Utopia of the world. She sees the current president ruling like a dictator of a third world country and nothing good coming from it. Her innocence has proved this country is bad and one day she hopes to return to Africa.

Personally I have always known there is no Utopia on this earth, later as an adult I learned the only Utopia in this life is in the controlling of your own mind. You need to learn everything you can about how to have financial prosperity here and act on it in the USA or it will elude you. The opportunity is here, you have to work hard and learn fast. You have to learn "How to own and Run A Profitable Business." My husband and I are still learning about this as we too are trying to navigate the waters of success to live our own American dream. Being an employee will not see the dream, being employee is a stepping stone to getting there. The dream takes much more smart decisions and risks. Being an employee will never take you to the big dream. One must read a lot of books and try a lot of things, and yes fail a few times.

So I took a moment longer with the Georgia Girl. I found she reads English but she is learning to speak it. She understands,(So she said) english contracts and laws here. She is a wiz on the computer but had never heard of an online business. I suggested she learn how to have an online business, she is interested in learning. I have one resource for her to get started.

I told her, “Life is not easy here. There are Americans that will take advantage of you if you are not careful. Be wise. Do not go anywhere with a man alone, or meet a man alone anywhere, as a woman here alone you must protect yourself. Getting a business started here is very hard work and you can make it but you may not, it is completely up to you. This country is wonderful but it is not perfect, people are not perfect. Take care. I can give you some resources but I will not do your work for you. I do not have the time. Give me your email I will send you some info that you seek to get you started."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me, "I pray and pray to God to help me here in the USA and I meet you today. You are sent by God for me and I thank you."

Personally I believe we are all sent by God to help one another.

I told her I was glad she came here, and wish her much success. (My God she is brave, I would not go to Georgia if you paid me to make a new life, I love the USA with all of its flaws.) She left two kids, one 22 and the other 26 back in Georgia. Both are married and have families, she says they are grown and don't need her anymore. She has no husband. I don't know the rest of her story but in time I know she will tell me because I listen.

I had a rose in a Kombucha bottle in my car that I carry to enjoy as I drive, a flower gift I received from yesterday. She told me she had a birthday November 2, I gave her my portable rose and vase, wished her "Happy Birthday." She smiled, hugged me, and thanked God for meeting me.

I meet immigrants coming here every week for a better life in my travels. I see the stars in their eyes. I do know she can find a better life here if she learns to be thankful and work hard. That is how we all find peace here on earth, in our mind.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."